it’s gotten to the point where no matter how irrational or improbable it is, anytime a character in the new Twin Peaks talks about someone without mentioning them by name, my mind immediately goes: “AUDREY”
the anonymous billionaire who’s funding the glass box project? Audrey. the person who hired those two people to kill Cooper’s doppelganger? Audrey. the woman Albert and Gordon were talking about bringing to the prison to take a look at “Cooper”? Audrey. that barista who sold Tracey her two cups of coffee? wasn’t even mentioned at all but hell, that’s Audrey too.
some pure blue rose cub scouts content before s3 ruins our lives:
tiny 7 year old dale and tiny 7 year old albert, both in second grade. chet and sam are both one year older. tiny 6 year old tamara is their honorary girl cub scout and she basically just follows albert around like he’s her older brother. windom is like 12 or 13 and sometimes mean to the younger kids if he’s having a bad day. scoutmaster gordon with diane as coleader.
dale being hyperactive and bouncy and excited because it’s his first night away from home camping and albert crying because it’s his first night away from home camping. older boy chet helping albert feel less homesick.
dale watching with super big eyes when Gordon teaches him how to make a fire. gordon was just going to have the younger kids help by collecting sticks for kindling but dale’s like “me me me I want to light it”
windom telling the second graders and tamara scary stories. gordon wakes up to the sound of the little kids crying in their tent and windom is in So Much Trouble
dale… holding hands with diane and walking down a trail, chattering away at her with literally every little thing that enters his seven year old head
“… um, and then diane, um, we went to the store, and my dad bought me ice cream, and then–.” “what kind of ice cream did you get?” “strawberry. [squirms] diane, I have to go to the bathroom.”
7 year old dale seeing a rabbit or something and F R E A K I N G out
Gordon giving them piggy back rides. walking jungle gym gordon.
albert cries the most out of the bunch. albert having to sleep with his flashlight on in his sleeping bag. he is also very finicky and does not like getting dirty.
windom making albert cry, maybe he pours dirt on him or something, and tamara pummeling him with tiny fists
one of dale and albert’s favorite games is to collect pinecones and arrange them by size. tamara copies them just because she likes to help and wants to hang out with them.
sam also likes to arrange things so he probably joins them and then chet joins in too
Gordon leaving the kids with diane and then coming back an hour later after some errand and there’s this giant line of pinecones on the ground trailing into the trees, all arranged by size. who knows how far it goes. if windom’s around he probably kicks it and messes it up
dale’s most favorite activity is making dirt piles. lots of tiny dirt piles just all over the campsite. he sticks leaves and twigs into them to decorate them
Gordon asks him if they’re fairy towns and dale’s like “no I just like dirt piles.” dale asking Gordon to help him make his dirt piles and telling him where to put the twigs and things.
After Fandies are surprised (because you’re afraid to say embarrassed) to see Andy Burnham’s prom picture, why not fancy Gideon George Osborne with a long hair or Alistair Darling in full beard? Or wonder if Boris Johnson and William Hague are girls in their early life!
Which transformation do you fancy, fellow loliticians? And whose school pics are you still waiting to see?