Vex 2.0 is done! With the exception of some paint touchups and a different pair of boots, I am done with this costume!!!!
Along with Fenthras I added a quiver, six arrows, a pair of pauldrons, new bracers and a pair of arm guards, new and improved lacing on the corset, a new hair pin and about 50 acrylic diamonds in a bag that you can’t see here but that I’m carrying because it makes me happy to do so. 😭🏹💗🐻✨
Art Nouveau leather, gold and gem-set ladies
evening purse Lacloche Frs. c1905 Frs. Lacloche The detailed leather
bag designed as an Owl with textured detailing back and front and set
with banded agate-eyes within a ruby surround and diamond-set beak an
All villains get paired up by the
Dark Shadows World - “Match Made in Hell (MMIH)” Division. It’s always such a
challenge to find a suitable match for The Joker. Good thing you’re still
“What about her?” one of the entities
points out and the others attending the meeting are fast to disagree.
“No way, he’ll kill her in a week!”
“She’s not strong enough to keep up
with him!” another one vociferates.
“He’ll eat her for breakfast and
burry the leftovers,” the leader concludes and the contendent is dismissed.
“Oh, what about that one?” someone
points out towards the woman and nobody’s happy with the new choice.
“Are you kidding me?! She’s such a
wimp; no way she can handle The Clown Prince of Crime!”
“Wouldn’t last two days,” another
committee member complains.
“Bad choice!” more and more object.
“I’m so sick of this, we have the
hardest time finding him a girlfriend,” the youngest entity sighs and suddenly
you are seen on the board.
“What about Y/N?”
“Didn’t we try before and it didn’t
work?” one recalls, intrigued.
“Yeah, but it’s been a while. I
always thought they should have stayed together, they can handle each other.
How did they break up?”
“Something about him being selfish
and her not paying attention to him,” the boss remembers.
“That’s it?! We can fix this, I see
she has no match yet either. We’re running out of options so I think we should
make it happen again and go with the flow. No better choice. Y/N is in the same building with The Joker as we speak and we’ll have to force things a bit but it could work. All
in favor, raise your hands. Oh, right, we don’t have any.”
Just a bunch of shapeless Dark Shadows.
“Yes, yes, might as well, it’s
frustrating to keep on meeting about this problem.”
“Agree, I’m sick of it myself. Let’s
do it!” the youngest entity impatiently speaks.
“They are so close to one another, we
need to act NOW.”
“Proceed,” the leader gives its
You and The Joker almost - kind of-
sort of –nearly…well … definitely had a thing going about a
year ago. You are actually thinking about that at the present moment as you
crawl through the vents of “Diamond Emporium” store so you can get to the
Mister J is there on a heist with his
men and you have no clue about each other’s presence…yet.
MMIH Division is taking care of it.
You suddenly hear the cracking sounds
under you and before you can move another inch the ceiling gives out and you
land right in front of your ex, almost killing Panda in the process.
“I’ll be damned, Frost, a fallen angel !
Is it Christmas already?” J grins, instantly recognizing you. “What are you
doing here, Doll?”
You gather yourself from the floor,
dusting debris off your clothes, grateful you didn’t break anything.
“Same thing as you, J: making sure
the air ducts are clean.”
“Ha!” he snorts, signaling his guys
to spread around so they can collect as many items as possible.
“Sir, the seif is over there,” Frost
announces and you turn around to look.
“Want me to open it for you?” you
offer, this way you can get a few things as payment instead of The Joker
getting everything. You know how he operates: too bad he had the same wretched idea of robbing the place in the same
time with you.
J debates and decides after a few
“Are you as fast as you used to be?”
“Faster,” you smile, fixing your
“OK then, go for it,” your former
boyfriend pouts, watching you head over the seif. A very sparkly necklace gets
your attention so you break the small glass case and get it out, tossing it to
the ground after analyzing it.
“Too shiny,” you answer J’s soundless
question when he looks your way with an intrigued expression on his face.
“Too shiny?!” he repeats. “Since when
a woman complains about diamonds being too shiny?! Never heard of it before,”
he grinds his teeth, puzzled.
You just lift your shoulders up, you
don’t need to explain your taste in sparkly stones – he should know that by
Jonny is waiting by the seif and you
just have to say it:
“My, my, Frost, you always look so
sharp in your perfect tailored suits. I love men that dress fancy for every occasion.”
Frost straightens his back, pleased
at your compliment:
“Thank you, Y/N.”
“Oh, please, don’t let me interrupt
your flirting,” The Joker shouts. “Can we finish this faster? We need to move
Ahhhh, he’s getting annoyed, one of
his “qualities” you like so much.
You start your work and J is messing
around with his cane. He doesn’t want to bring it up but when does he ever know
how to control himself?
“What’s wrong with my outfit, hmm?”
“Huh?” you stop what you’re doing so
you can hear him.
“What’s wrong with my outfit? Since
…ummm…apparently you like guys in suits. I wasn’t aware.”
You stare at his attire: no shirt
- just the purple coat, Batsy shorts and
boots. About 4 heavy gold chains around his neck, a handful of bracelets on his
wrists and a bunch of rings on his fingers.
“Nothing, it looks…good,” you smirk,
getting back to your stuff and…done.
“My God, you are faster!” The Joker exclaims, forgetting he was irritated about
your earlier statement.
“I just want a few things; you know
me: I’m not greedy.”
“Go ahead,” he agrees as you open the
“I want this one…and this one…” you
pick what strikes your fancy, excited at the excellent quality.
“What is this?” he frowns, pulling
out a chocolate bar from a small drawer inside the seif.
“Weird, why would you keep chocolate
with diamonds?” you inquire, surprised.
“Maybe one of those sentimental
souvenirs for someone working here?” J tries to guess, disgusted at the
“How dumb, you think so?”
“Maybe,” he glares at the bar, scoffing.
“Is it expired?” you bite your cheek,
in mood for sweets.
“Nope, still good.”
“Can I have it?” you reach your hand
and he gives it to you.
“Suit yourself, Doll.”
“I think that’s all I want. I’m
done,” and you rip the plastic foil, beginning to munch on the chocolate.
The Joker’s henchmen stashed a lot of
diamonds in bags and you linger around for a bit.
“I heard you have a kid,” J sniffles,
puckering his lips.
“Yes, I’m taking care of my niece. My
sister died last year, shortly after we…e-hem…went our separate ways,” you
bring him up to date since he’s gazing at you with those hypnotizing blue eyes,
expecting a briefing.
“She died?” he replies, not really
giving a crap and you are aware of it.
“Car accident,” you mumble and your
eyes get teary, saddened at the memory.
That’s the best he can say for “I’m
Sorry” in Joker language. Thank goodness you speak that language.
“It does…” you whimper, trying to
keep it together.
“We finished, sir!” Frost announces
and you are glad for the interruption.
“I’m going then,” you back out,
holding tight to your backpack.
“I might need you again, Y/N. Your
skills have improved even more. I have a heist in 2 days, 3 seifs inside Gotham
“Yes, of course,” you mumble, wanting
to hurry up and run before the cops show up.
“Want me to pick you up?” J offers.
“Sure, I’ll text you the address.”
“You don’t have my new phone number,”
he yells before you disappear behind the stairs.
“I’m an excellent hacker, I’ll figure
it out!” you scream back before sneaking through the gap in the wall J’s
henchmen opened for themselves to get in.
You managed to get J’s phone number
and text him your address ; it was a piece of cake. Yummm, cake…you love sweets. Anyway…
He came to pick you up for the
robbery, wearing… a suit. Dark green. Looks ravishing on him, not that you pay
attention to such details.
You are going to take a shower and
get ready. In the meantime, he’s left alone in the living room with Mikah, your
She’s 7, going on 40.
strongest ally and she’s not even aware.
“I know who you are, I saw you on
TV,” the girl inspects J, curious to hear him speak.
“Did you now?”
“Yes, plus Auntie D has pictures of
you on her cell.”
“You don’t say!” J grins, suddenly more interested in the conversation.
“Are you a bad man, mister?” Mikah
wants to know right from the source.
“Yeah,” the short answer confirms it.
“Can I sit in your lap?”
“NO!” J growls, hoping you’re coming
“My aunt says she has the biggest
crush on you,” the kid reports, not understanding why.
“Does she now?”
“U-hum, she talks about you quite a
lot.” The little girl tightens her pony tails. “Hey, mister, are you single?”
“Supposedly,” he rolls his eyes,
wishing she would shut up.
“Auntie D too. You should take her on a date.”
This feels like an interrogation: The
Joker is the one that likes to ask questions, not the other way around.
Mikah just ignores his earlier reply
and places herself in his lap. J doesn’t know how to react. She touches his
face and he tils his head backwards because surely doesn’t like to be touched
“Are you shy?” she bounces her legs,
“No, kid, I’m not.”
“Why do you have tattoos on your
“Because I wanted them there, that’s
“Auntie D says you are very handsome.
I guess you are…in a strange way. Why do you look different? Auntie says we
shouldn’t judge people for being different.”
Why can’t she quit talking?! J thinks. Is there a
turn off button somewhere?
“Do you dye your hair?” she caresses
the green locks, smitten with the wild color.
“No, it grows like this.”
“I think that’s cool. What happened
to your teeth? Why are they silver?”
“Do you ever shut up?!” your ex
snaps, fed up with the questionnaire.
“No, only when I sleep, ” your niece
innocently blurs out. Mikah notices the numerous tattoos under the almost
unbutton shirt. “Untie D loves guys with tattoos. She told me once you are a
stud and then she covered my ears, but I heard it. I asked what it means
because you don’t look like a horse in pictures. Auntie said to forget about
it, it’s not for children.”
J snorts, finally amused.
“Did Y/N say that?”
“U-hum,” she nods. “Why do you have a
cane? It doesn’t look like you’re limping.”
“So I can spank people that don’t
behave,” J winks, entertained.
“Are you gonna spank Auntie D with
“Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!” he laughs. “Maybe, if she doesn’t behave.”
Interesting kid, he never had a
dialogue with one before.
“Do you have children mister?”
The Joker lifts his shoulders up, not
replying. Mikah continues her tirade:
“Auntie D says you’re the Daddy type.
So how come you don’t have any kids yet?”
J is getting quite immersed in this
crazy spiral consisting of the little girl spitting out things he shouldn’t
“You should have a baby with Auntie D,
I would loveeee a sibling,” she continues yammering and J wants to cover her
He finally has to seek for an answer
to the burning question:
“Why do you call her Auntie D? Her
name doesn’t start with a D.”
Mikah places her index finger on her
lips, getting secretive.
“It’s girl stuff, I can’t tell you if
you’re not part of the girl club.”
“I can be,” The Joker grins, hoping
to trick Mikah into telling him.
“You’re a boy, can’t be part of our
“Ohhh, that’s too bad, little Doll.
But if you tell me, I’ll take your aunt on a date.”
“Oh my God, for reals?!”
“A-ha,” The Clown Prince of Crime is fast to utter.
She gets close to his ear,
“My auntie’s bra size is a D-cup, that’s why I call her Auntie D.”
The Joker doesn’t remember hearing anything
funnier than this for the past few months. He snickers, closing his eyes and Mikah
giggles, happy the bad man is laughing at something she said.
“I’m ready,” you finally step in the
living room, gathering your wet hair in a messy bun. You are intrigued seeing
your little niece in J’s lap, both laughing, accomplices on a secret for sure;
you can tell.
Before you can express your curiosity
regarding the scene unfolding in front of your eyes, J gets up, leaving the kid
on the chair he sat and cracks his neck, approaching.
“Change of plans, Princess, we’re
going on a date. Go put something nice on.”
“We’re going on a what?!” you crinkle
your nose, watching Mikah’s mouth opening in amazement - she seems delighted.
“Hurry up, I don’t have all night,”
he pushes you back towards the bedroom.
“I don’t want to go on a date with you,”
you protest, displeased and baffled.
“Shut up, woman, don’t talk back to
me! Be grateful you have the honor of having a date with The King of Gotham,”
he snarls, shoving you in the bedroom and closing the door behind him. “And
hurry up…Auntie D!!!!” and you hear him laugh as he distances himself from the
What the hell is going on? You debate, perplexed about tonight’s twist, digging in your
closet for a dress. But you have to admit you don’t really hate the present
situation. After all, you still have the
biggest crush on your ex, too bad he
Match Made in Hell Division is
absolutely, utterly and indisputably more than happy to close two difficult
cases in the same time: The Joker and Y/N aka Auntie D.
You took enough of their precious
time, even if they have an eternity to their disposal.
Plus, J is the first male villain to be part
of a girls’ club, another legendary skill he will forever be praised for in The