(Last time I tried to bold words bad thing happened so sorry its not bold lol)
Bitty: Smashed scalding cookies with my hands before chucking them in the trash can because they hadn’t fully baked in the middle after putting them back in the oven twice were burnt on the outside
Jack: Attempted to walk many miles home because I was too nervous to ask for a ride, even though I’ve known my friends parents for years
Shitty: Wrote a letter to my teacher on how she was a horrible person because she made fun of students in front of the whole class when they weren’t there (my dad found it before I could sneak it in her pocket :/ )
Lardo: Did horribly on an art project for school out of spite because my teacher was being unfair to my classmates
Ransom: Went a whole history class pronouncing neanderthals nethandrals and no one corrected me until lunch
Holster: Announced loudly “Where are the condoms?” as my friend opened a birthday present (because the giver said they put them in as a gag gift) right as her parents walked in
Nursery: Told my friends parents that the turkey bacon they cooked was really good, it turned out to be spam. Still good.
Dex: Repeatedly asked my dad if we could have a bet lobster every tie we went to the grocery store and saw them in the live tank
Chowder: Cried when I character sacrificed them self then shouted at the screen when they lived and turned out to be evil. This was in a cinema.
Tango: Raised my hand in History and said “Chicago’s in California right?”
Whiskey: Played lacrosse, but only enjoyed the game when we were against schools that I had friends in because my teams consisted of some of my least favorite people
Kent: Blasted “Booty had me like” with the windows down in my friends car whenever we drove by or behind a biker
Tater: Swing my friends around by the arms until they were off they were airborne as a child. It was an interesting game
Hey so I wrote and thing and I’m proud of it and you should read it okay bye!
Summary: Nursey invites Dex to visit over the summer after their first year. Dex invites him back.
“Honestly, Dex didn’t know what Nursey was thinking. Sure, they’d chirped about missing each other over winter break, but Dex never thought it would go past chirping…but the plans had been made. Nursey’s parents would pick them up from move-out and drive them back to New York, they’d stay for a week, Dex and Nursey would fly up to Rockland, stay for a week, and Nursey would fly back.”
I was rereading the comic recently, and I always forget it was in black and white until I reread it, and always go “Oh yeeeeaaaah!!”. This time though, I was like “Imagine if it was still in black and white. IMAGINE DEX AMD NURSEY DRAWN IN BLACK AMD WHITE AND NOT IN COLOUR!!!”.
So I got really excited about it, trying to imagine it, work out who I could ask to draw it, I NEEDED this in my life, right?
Look at my icon.
Dex and Nursey in black and white IS MY ICON.
dex (dexter) the schnauzer shops entirely from thrift shops and dresses like a (hip) old man; mistaken for one too.
hes in his twenties, but can eat under the elders meal option at most restaurants. lives on a boat and works at a shady convenience store
let me tell you if anybody. a n y b o d y . outs Jack before he is ready and able? I’ll kill them. I will literally fucking kill them. he’s a fictional character you say? I don’t give a fuck. I’ll draw my own damn comic, and it’ll be a comic specifically dedicated to me kicking this character’s ass and fucking m u r d e r i n g him. I’ll transfer to SCAD. I’ll learn ngozi’s art style so that my shit matches hers exactly and it looks like a mcfuckening piece of official Check Please™ artwork and it’ll be me, my self insert, taking a knife and fucking murderign this jackass who thought it would be funny to out my hockey baby. how fucking dare they. how dare,
On April Fools Day the whole team dresses up as Dex.
Nursey waits until Dex is dressed and leaves the attic before texting everyone a description of what he’s wearing and imitating the outfit himself. As was the plan, Dex doesn’t notice at team breakfast that they’re all wearing red flannels over forest green t-shirts, despite the snickering coming from Chowder’s end of the table (Chowder, who is still wearing his Sharks hoodie under his Dex costume).
Over the course of the day, they add more and more “freckles” to their arms. Eventually the freckles start appearing on their faces. Nursey shows up to their biology gen ed COVERED in little Sharpie marks. Dex still doesn’t seem to notice.
They’re supposed to have a team dinner that night. There’s record attendance, and although he points this out, Dex still says nothing about his twenty-odd doppelgangers. Ransom, Holster, Lardo, Shitty, and Jack also show up wearing flannels and green t-shirts and covered in artificial freckles.
They’re all stuffed into the living room after dinner, and Dex goes to the bathroom. When he comes back, they’re all wearing truly ridiculous red wigs and staring at the doorway, waiting.
He’s looking at something on his phone when he walks in, and everybody just stares at him in silence as he makes his way over to his seat between Nursey and Tango.
He looks up. “Why is it so quiet in here all of a sudden?” he asks casually.
“Dex. Um. Babe.” Nursey gestures vaguely around the room.
Dex looks around at his teammates and his brows knit together. Nursey’s about to start laughing because /Oh, he finally got it!/ when Dex says, “What are you trying to tell me? I thought you were supposed to be good with words.”
Nursey sputters. “You don’t see…what we’re all wearing?”
Dex stares at him for a long time, a look of mild confusion on his face, until finally, he leans in close so that his lips are right by Nursey’s ear and says, completely deadpan, “April Fools.”
The Haus descends into chaos. Chowder starts babbling to himself. Ransom and Holster are jumping up and down, howling, “HOLY SHIT. BRO GOT US GOOD.” Jack and Bitty are looking at each other with eyebrows raised in surprise and amusement. Shitty has his face in his hands. Whiskey is laughing harder than anyone has ever seen him laugh. Tango looks confused. Lardo is the only one who claps. Nursey just blinks at Dex and the smirk on his lips.
Dex holds up his phone, open to the SMH group text. “You sent it to me, too, dumbass.”
headcanon that nursey gets one of his poems published in some pretty prestigious paper or something and everyone gathers in the haus to read it and it’s just full of autumn metaphors and anger and longing for someone unattainable. it’s a really fantastic piece of poetry and everyone says so, dex even compliments it and says “wow, you must really like this person”
and you know as soon as nursey and dex leave holster kinda sits there blankly and is like “everyone knows that poem was about dex, right?” and everyone responds like “oh, yeah duh”