i want to shout into the void
until it turns around and takes me in its embrace

i want my body to be healed
for all the buzzing to fade
and that the aching in my chest to subside
but my fingertips keep shaking
and my jaw is set and taut
just like the sails on the boat on the lake

i want my voice to change
because it is cracked and muffled
despite the blood coursing hot within
it should be a roar that dies with a chant

i want Death to look at me
to tell me i’m very late to the party
and accept me and my dewinded watch

instead my old friend gives me a smirk
a pat on the back to send me home
i was much too early to the gathering

—  picnic with the mad hatter by Val