Pairing: Lucifer X Reader Warnings: Smut, DaddyK!nk, bossy!Lucifer, blood, bad language. Summary: Y/n is witch who is being sacrificed to Lucifer. In a twisted chain of events there is a wicked witch, a good witch, and a handsome devil. Author’s Note: Hi everyone! My drabble Sinful for Lucifer took off so well these last few days, and since I can’t get the Devil out of my head, I decided to give you guys a whole story. I am not sure if it any good, but let me know. I hope you like it. As always, please see my page for more of my work, and look for the master-list which should be out very soon! Word count of story: Approximately 2500 words
Your grandmother was a witch, just as your mother was. You had grown up with a love for witchcraft sprouting from their teachings at a very early age. Of course, your family and home coven stayed far away from anything too sinister and dastardly for obvious reasons. Curses, hexes, and demons tended to backfire, or at least end very badly for the witch. Especially when hunters got involved. As you grew older you grew fonder of the idea of traveling, absorbing all the knowledge and wisdom you could across the lands. And with a lifted heart and demeanor, you did. Seeing everything you could-learning all you could-of evil and good. But even you could tell that the world was shifting. Demons became more and more frequent, hauntings became more and more deadly, and good witches became few. Even the hunters began to fizzle out one by one. By the time your grandmother left this earth and your mother took control of the coven, rumors had begun to spread about the rise of the true king. The true one to rule hell and all those that belong to hell. The archangel that had started and would restart the war between Heaven and Hell.
Growing worried for your mother and the good of your coven you returned home, only to find your coven in a state of power-hungry, evil infused paranoia under the charge of a lady who called herself Sirena. Sirena was a force you had never met before. She was cunning and vindictive, and seemingly all knowing. Sirena was quick to punish those she doubted and the returning daughter of the head witch she had overthrown was just that. An opponent to test her power and dedication to her King Lucifer.
She had attacked you before you had time to even register what had happened. And after you lay bruised and battered on the ground, she commanded those who used to be your trusted friends to help her bind you.
“Y/n, it’ll all be fine. Lucifer will be every so gracious of your sacrifice. Why, he might even be as gracious as to grant our coven everlasting favor in the courts of Hell! Think of the good you’ll be doing here!” Sirena preached to you as she pulled the ropes tighter to your skin.
“I didn’t sign up for this, Sirena. You know that! You have taken a peaceful coven, and turned all these women vengeful,” You say as you struggle against the bonds that hold your hands and feet.
“Oh sweetheart, that was what your mother thought too, but you’ll see. Everyone will see. I’ve finally perfected the perfect spell, and it’s sure to reach our King’s ears this time,” she said with a wicked laugh. She back away from you to pick up a long-curved dagger from the table nearby. “Just think about it,” she started with another awful cackle, turning back towards you as she played with the knife, “you’re the perfect sacrifice! I mean before I killed your mother, I had heard about her talk about you to the others. You’re still pure-in more ways than one.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” you cried, swinging your gaze to your once friends who stood facing you on the far wall, pleading with your eyes for them to save you.
“Oh Y/n, that won’t work. They are no longer easily persuaded. Now, back to the matters at hand. You know exactly what I mean when I say ‘pure’. You’re still pure of heart, in fact you almost have a childlike sense of wonder,” Sirena pressed the dagger under your chin, forcing your head up and your eyes to hers. “You also have never been-bedded, to put nicely. So innocently pure. A virgin sacrifice for the King. How classically polite.”
Your eyebrow raised automatically. The bitterness of the situation finding you now, “You polite or nice? I’ve known you five minutes and I’m tied to a chair being sacrificed because I’ve never been ‘bedded’.”
Sirena’s smile twitched and you watched as her eyes glazed over for a split second before her hand moved. In that second, she moved and you felt the cold sting of the blade across your cheek. When she pulled back again, the dagger was lined with blood, and Sirena? She was looking quite proud of herself. “Fine, fucked. You’re just as picky as your mother was. I was trying not to offend your delicate ears, but now I don’t care. With this offering of your blood, Lucifer will practically praise me. That is of course after he rapes and devours you,” Sirena cackled.
She began reciting a spell you in a language not even you had ever heard, but you couldn’t really pay attention to any of that. Your face and your body hurt. Your mother was dead, and your coven betrayed your family. Your life was officially sucking right now, and you could give a damn less what else was happening around you. A bright light in the room caught your attention, if not for the simple fact it practically blinded you. Sirena began laughing again, spinning and clapping, searching the room with her eyes. She turned to you when the light completely faded with a scowl.
“It didn’t work!” she raged. “How could have not worked? You slut! You must have fucked someone, or else it wouldn’t have worked. You filthy whore liar! I’ll-“
“Now, now, let’s not be quick to kill anyone, especially my sacrifice,” a cold male voice said filling the room.
“My King!” Sirena said dropping to her knees. “I apologize for disturbing you, but I thought this sacrifice would prove my willingness to serve.”
“No, it doesn’t,” Lucifer says stepping into the dimly lit room.
When your eyes found his, you almost gasped. He was gorgeous. He was blonde headed and freckled, lean but built, and he had a very arrogant bad boy nature. He regarded you in a calm, distant expression, but it didn’t seem to be one of hate. His eyes seemed to glow back at yours for a second more before he shifted his attention back to Sirena, his look darkening.
“I am trying to plan and carry out the Apocalypse-or did you forget that?” he asked Sirena pacing closer to where she was standing near you.
“I apologize King, I thought she would please you.”
“She looks-quite tasty, but that is not the point. Disturbing me is very rude, when you could have come to me like every other damn demon has with their signs of loyalty. Instead you summon me? Do you have any idea what I was in the middle of?”
“I am truly sorry, it won’t happen-” Sirena began, but Lucifer swiftly cut her off with a hand to her throat.
The glow of his eyes seemed to brighten and he hauled her into the air with one hand. “Oh,” he said coldly, “I know it won’t.”
Just then Sirena emitted a beam of light from every orifice of her body. Lucifer pretty much burning her from inside out, and casting her lifeless body aside. He turns to you with a raised brow and relaxed look.
“I loathe power hungry twats who disturb others, don’t you, love?” he asks almost nicely.
You blink back at him for a second before replying, “L-love?”
Lucifer doesn’t answer your question. Instead he comes closer to you expecting your bruises and cut up face. He runs his hands across your bonds, and you feel them dissipate. “No running, pet. Daddy has to heal you and take you home,” he says almost absentmindedly placing his hands on your face.
“Excuse me, what?” You ask just as the warm feeling over takes you. It spreads through your body, making it hum and shiver, and you shift just slightly in your seat. Lucifer’s eyes connect with yours again and it’s as if he’s warning you to stay still with just his gaze.
The feeling intensifies as it spreads, and soon your body is on high alert, but tired at the same time. You feel your eyes begin to shut of their own accord. Right before the blackness of unconsciousness takes you, you hear Lucifer’s voice once more.
“Now, let’s get you home.”
You awoke atop of a king size, black satin covered bed in a dark room. You no longer hurt, but you didn’t know where you were. You weren’t even sure if what you thought had happened had really happened. That would be ridiculous, right?
“It might be for an average human, but not you,” a cold voice that you were becoming all too familiar with said. Glancing up to find Lucifer starring down on you, you almost screamed, but he had already raised a hand to silence you. “I will not hurt you, Y/n. I promise. I even healed your wounds for you, pet.”
“Oh, just stop it with the ‘pet’ stuff already. We both know the only reason you are interested in me is because of that stupid ritual and the fact I am a virgin. I am not yours,” You spat out before you could think to stop yourself.
You watched Lucifer’s eyes darken menace and almost gulped in fear. “I assure you, that isn’t true. In fact, you are mine and I will prove it,” he said darkly.
“You just said you wouldn’t hurt me!” You accuse him quickly.
“And I won’t, but let me show you why you should belong to me.”
You mauled it over for a second. It would if nothing else prevent something like this from happening again, and after his virgin sacrifice infatuation wore off that was the only risk here. He did promise not to hurt you. You looked back at him and nodded. “Okay.”
You were pushed back against the black satin sheets, your arms falling to rest by your head. Your legs spread of their own accord, unable to hide the sudden arousal caused from the angel above you.
Lucifer hovered above you, leaning down to capture your lips in a searing kiss. You moaned into his mouth as his teeth tugged on your lower lip. One hand snaked up to tangle in your hair, using it to roughly pull your head back so he could access your neck. You gasped and closed your eyes as his teeth grazed your skin and found a soft spot you never knew existed.
Obliviously, Lucifer had done this before. You had not. Starting to feel a bit insecure, you brought your hands up to push back against him, but he wouldn’t budge.
“Lucifer,” you gasp, trying again. “I’m not good enough for this I barely know how to kiss.”
“Don’t even think about it like that, pet,” He ordered silkily as his jean clad hips ground against yours, his manhood already hardening.
You wrapped your legs around his waist, almost automatically, with a desperate gasp for more affection, or attention, or really anything you could get. One of his hands cupped a breast, squeezing and kneading, while his lips found the curve of the other. He sucked your skin into his mouth, his tongue leaving a cold fire across your skin. You tightened your legs around his waist, feeling a sudden wetness pooling between your legs. And in response, Lucifer ripped the shirt from your body.
He chuckled at your attentive responses, grinding his hips against yours. His hand slid from your breast down your side, his fingers a seductive dance on your skin.
“So responsive for me, pet,” he murmured, kissing his way back up to your neck. He sucked on your neck and as his fingers slid into the waistband of your jeans and ripped those off as well causing you to moan. “That’s my girl,” he grunted, biting your neck. He pulled back and smiled proudly at the dark hickey he’d left on your skin, marking you as his woman for all eternity.
He worked his hand down to your wet heat slowly, and thrust a finger into you, his slow pace never faltering as you wiggled and bucked against him. His hips helped to keep yours steady while he worked you with his hand, his other hand tugging at your hair and his lips alternating between decorating your neck and devouring your now naked breasts.
You felt a foreign knot building in your belly, but before it could burst, Lucifer removed his finger. You whimpered shamelessly at the loss of contact and he chuckled darkly. He hovered above you, angling his hips so that his manhood rubbed against your entrance, and you noticed you had completely missed how he had gotten his jeans off. Finding yourself not caring, however you tried your best to hint to him that you needed him with your body.
He growled back at you when he noticed your slight shimmies for his attention and sprung on you like a wild tiger. His lips attacked your skin, as he rubbed his manhood through your wetness. The contact rubbed against your clit, causing your hips to jerk upwards.
“That’s right, kitten. Let Daddy take care of you,” he instructed, sitting back and using his hands on your hips to help position you. You complied, finding little shame anymore in Lucifer’s arms.
Lucifer positioned himself above you, his hands on your hips as he thrust into your sex slowly. You moaned at feeling him inside you, and although slightly strange-there was no pain. Your legs began spreading more to entice him further. He understood, pushing in as far as he could. His hands gripped your hips bruisingly as he pulled almost all the way out and slammed back in. Working you over very well for your first time. You moaned loudly and your hands gripped the pillow, all of your senses gone. All you could focus on was Lucifer pounding into you like he owned you. This archangel making you his prize.
He leaned over you, one hand tangling in your hair and tugging your head forward. You mewled and turned your head to meet his lips in a possessive kiss. He sucked your tongue into his mouth as he continued his thrusts. While you were lost in his kiss, the hand on your hip slid forward between your folds to rub mercilessly at your clit, earning a string of loud whorish moans from your lips which he eagerly swallowed.
The knot in your belly exploded, your orgasm gushing. He kept his pace causing you to drag your nails down his toned chest. His hands gripped your hips so he could thrust his hips into yours, his pelvis striking your clit with each thrust, sending your orgasm skyrocketing upwards yet again.
Your name fell from his lips like a moaned prayer, the sound making you moan in return. “Please…” You stammered, wrapping your arms around him. “I-I… I can’t…”
“Not yet.” He ordered and you struggled to take a ragged breath, in a failed attempt to get a hold of yourself. “You are absolutely delicious, pet,” He informed you. “So responsive, so willing.”
“Please….” You whispered. “Just… please.”
“I’m sorry, what was that? Who are you talking to, Little Girl?” He asked innocently.
“Lucifer, please I need you…” You pleaded, grinding your hips up as best as you could. He grunted, but still did not relent.
“No, pet. What is my name?” He demanded once more, slowing his pace almost completely.
You groaned out, frustrated, but completely turned on. “Daddy, please!” “Much better, pet.” He growled and without pause, he was buried up to the hilt inside of you once more. You couldn’t help the shriek that was pulled from your lips as he began to brutally slam into you. His lips once again lock onto your chest, sucking. You barely notice as your hands wrap around his back nails digging into skin. “Moan for me, Little Girl.” He grunts, hitting that spot deep inside you.
“Daddy!” You manage to choke out as he hits that spot with every thrust.
“I can’t hear you.” He punctuates each word with a snap of his hips.
“Daddy!” You scream as the knot that was building once more explodes, cause your whole body to jerk. Lucifer’s own orgasm followed yours, and as he cried out with you, he held you close as he worked you both through it, slowly. When you both had finally calmed down, he withdrew and looked at you. His next words shocking your ecstasy ridden body.
“If you think you are leaving me, Y/n, you are wrong. You are mine. Forever. My virgin sacrifice.”
Request: Cheryl Blossom x fem! Reader: beneath Cheryl’s tough exterior is a submissive girl she refuses to acknowledge until she meets the reader whose dominant nature causes them to clash in school. Until one day Cheryl succumbs to her submissive nature and confronts the reader. Dom reader x submissive Cheryl. Please and thank you.
Notes: I’m so sorry bby. I took so long to write this. I hope this makes up for my absence. I didn’t proofread so, sorry in advance.
Warning: SMUT BABY. Sub!Cheryl x Dom!Reader. Vanilla sex, no kinky shit this time. Das it, until further notice😉. Mommy kink. Oral sex, fingering, public sex etc.
I heard there was a new girl in our school, and that she was a little wicked. Today was not going the way I planned. Usually when I walked into school, the girls and boys swooned over me. Now, it was like I never even existed. Storming down the hall, I could hear the whispers about this ‘New Cheryl’. I was definitely pissed. I had to see for myself how ‘great’ she was for myself. I recognized every face at this school except for one. I learned her name was Y/N, and boy did she have looks. Her Y/H/C locks simply cascaded down her back. It was driving me insane. She was not going to steal my shine. Not today, not ever. I strutted over to where she was standing. I see the core four beat me to her. As I approached her, I could hear Veronica saying, “speaking of the devil, here’s his mom.” My head snapped towards her. “Oh please, your mother could think of a better insult. Now please, I have a student that I would like to meet. And your lack of beauty is sickening.” I directed my attention towards the slightly taller girl. “I’m Cheryl.” I extended my hand, but it was simply ignored. “Listen her Cheryl, I know what type of girl you are and let me just say, if you come at me the wrong way god so help me I will not hesitate to end you.” I laughed at her attempt to scare me. “Oh honey, you just got here and you’re already starting shit. News flash, I basically run this school. If you thought you were going to come here and change that, then darling you thought terribly wrong.” “Stay out of my way, and I’ll stay out of yours. Understand?” I nodded and got on with my day. Today’s school day was filled with death glares from Y/N. If I must admit, she was fucking hot. The way she talked to me today, was hot. Usually, I would despise anyone who’d talk to me like that. But, Y/N was different. I was almost speechless, but I had a reputation to maintain. It was around 6:00 pm, and I had cheer practice. So that meant Y/N was going to be there. She’d been hanging out with Veronica and her crew. The two boys (whose names I don’t care to remember) always stayed and watched. This was not going to happen. She was not going stay in my gym. “I’m sorry. Who said you could be here?” “That’s none of your business. How about you turn your pretty little self around and do your thing.” Right now, we were standing chest to chest. I could feel her breath on my face, which I didn’t mind by the way. I huffed and marched to my spot in the middle of the gym. “Okay ladies. Get into position, and do as I say. You bitches better put your all into this. And don’t forget, make it hot.” I said as my eyes met Y/N’s Y/E/C ones. The music had started, and all the girls took their positions.
“A little wicked,” that’s what he calls me Cause that’s what I am, that’s what I am
No one calls you honey when you’re sitting on a throne No one calls you honey when you’re sitting on a throne
Beware the patient woman, cause this much I know No one calls you honey when you’re sitting on a throne One of these days a-coming, I’m gonna take that boy’s crown There’s a serpent in these still waters lying deep down To the king, I will bow, at least for now One of these days a-coming, I’m gonna take that boy’s crown
My eyes did not leave Y/N’s. Our glares went from pure hatred to intimate in a matter of seconds. When the song ended, we were all out of breath. I turned to the girls behind me and dismissed them to the locker room. When I looked at Y/N, her facial expression was pure ecstasy. Her eyes followed me out of the gym. But I didn’t know I was being followed. When I turned the corner, I was met those luscious curls. “Well, well, well, look we have here. If it isn’t the Redheaded Bombshell herself.” With each word, she took a step closer. My breath was hitched in my throat. “W-what do you want?” I stuttered out. “Are you scared, baby? Don’t be. Mommy’s just going to show you who’s the boss.” My legs were almost jelly. She took my hand and led me to an empty classroom. “You looked so hot doing your cheer routine. Hell, all of you were so fucking sexy. But you, my darling were driving me crazy.” She said as she picked me up and sat me on one of the desks. She stepped into the space between my legs. Her hand started to caress my cheek gently. “Here’s what we’re going to do, you’re going to listen to everything I say and you’re going to do it. Okay baby?” I was speechless, so I just nodded. She kissed me while her hand trailed down my stomach. They stopped at the hem of my shorts. She hooked her fingers around the thin fabric. My hands flew to her hair, pulling her closer only to deepen the kiss. She released a moan into my mouth, as I tugged on her hair slightly harder than intended. She broke the kiss, while pulling my shirt over my head. Leaving me exposed in my red lacy bra. “You don’t happen to have matching underwear, do you?” I smiled innocently as a groan escaped her lips. I hopped of the desk, to pull down the tight little shorts. Her eyes were nearly black. “I want you to take all of this off.” She said motioning towards my sexy undergarments. I did not hesitate to take it. While I was doing so, she sat down in the chair behind the teacher’s desk. She motioned for me to come here, so I did. She pulled me onto her lap, while sliding her hand in between my thighs. “What time is practice usually over with?” She asked. “About 7:30.” She looked at her watch and nodded. “We have about 30 minutes left. Seeing at how wet you are for me, I think I’ll be finished with you before then.” She said as her fingers traced figure eights on my clit. I shuddered at the sudden contact. My head fell back at the pleasure between my thighs. She started going faster. The faster she went, the harder it got for me to breathe. “You like that, hmm?” The moan she got should’ve been a good enough answer. All of sudden, she stopped. Oh the anger I felt. “Get on top of the desk, and spread your legs.” I did as I was told, and climbed on top of the desk, and spread. She got on her knees and took a look at the sex between my thighs. “Oh baby, it’s so pretty. All nice and wet for me.” She dove into my heat, moaning at the way I taste. I could feel her tongue playing with the already sensitive nub. I almost screamed at how god it felt. She then slid her fingers into me, pounding relentlessly. God, it felt so great. She flicked her tongue, while pumping her fingers in and out of me, as my eyes literally rolled to the back of my head. My legs began to quiver as my earth shattering orgasm began to ripple through me. “Oh fuck, Y/N. Oh my god.” I managed to stutter out. She let out a wicked laugh, as I became undone in front of her. She lapped up my juices and stood up. I pulled her closer to me, so I could kiss her. I could taste the warm liquids on her soft lips. “Would you look at that, Queen B just couldn’t help herself.” I stared at her with such a bored expression. “Oh shut up already, little miss cockiness.” I got dressed and pulled her out of the classroom. I froze when I heard Veronica’s voice. “What were you two doing?” I could see the smirk plastered on Y/N’s face, I wanted to smack it right off. “Uhm nothing.” I stuttered. “Mhm.” She squinted. She knew I was lying. But did I care? Absolutely not. “Y/N, I was wondering if you wanted to come to our game?” Veronica asked, Y/N agreed to come. Before it was time to depart, I grabbed her face and kissed her. “See you there, mommy.” I whispered into the kiss and walked away, leaving her stunned.
I had planned to do a different set for this week for STAR WARS recs and I wanted to give myself a chance to build up a few more fic recs before posting again. But then this week had some amazing fic and I couldn’t pass them by because they were so incredibly good and I had to flail immediately.
✦ Split the Night by Zinga763, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & maul & some anakin/padme, 7.8k wip Darth Maul knows exactly how to break Kenobi. In which Maul targets someone other than Satine, and it changes Obi-Wan and Anakin’s lives, along with the galaxy’s. ✦ untitled Supreme Chancellor!Obi-Wan fic by stonefreeak, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & yoda & palpatine & cast, 4.2k So here we go, updates about the Inhibitor Chips, more about what Palpatine does and does not know, Obi-Wan being Tired™ and needing a damn nap, and Anakin and Ahsoka having a good time and discussing the Order as it is and once were. Enjoy! ✦ Broken by lilyconrad, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka, NSFW, sith!obi-wan, dark themes, pay attention to the warnings!, 38.6k The Twins are unstoppable enforcers of the Emperor’s will, the sun and moon that hang in the black void of his rule. It is said they are not the same age and that under their hoods they do not look alike, but they fight as one entity, silent and terrible as an eclipse in a spring sky. ✦ Tano and Kenobi by FireflyFish, obi-wan & ahsoka & hondo & sifo-dyas & qui-gon & mace & cast, time travel, 93.7k wip Master Skywalker always said “The Force works in mysterious ways” and Ahsoka Tano has to admit, getting thrown backwards in time by about forty years was very mysterious. ✦ Stoking the Hearth by ilyena_sylph, Merfilly, obi-wan/anakin/padme, NSFW, 8.4k Finally, all three of them have time and the ability to get away and share one another. ✦ Tired Soldiers by LibraryMage, obi-wan & ahsoka, 1.4k After leaving Malachor, Ahsoka goes to Tatooine to find Obi-Wan. ✦ Caleb the Fool by ambiguously, kanan & ahsoka & luke & leia & hera & depa & cast, 37.6k Fourteen years have passed since Anakin Skywalker killed Chancellor Palpatine then fled into sanctuary with his wife. Now the Skywalker twins have come before the Jedi High Council to request training in their powers. This is only the beginning of Caleb’s problems. ✦ Abduction by Mishael, thrawn & eli, 26k After the battle of Atollon, just as Thrawn is mourning the absence of a trusted companion, an unexpected opportunity presents itself. But that’s not the only unexpected thing he will have to face. ✦ Patience, Anakin by Icse, obi-wan/anakin, d/s, assassin’s creed fusion, ~1k Anakin wants attention and for once he chooses to do it the right way. SW/AC crossover, but you don’t need to know the AC universe. ✦ untitled by glare-gryphon, obi-wan/anakin, modern au, sugar daddy au, 1.3k Anonymous asked: No no no. By all means. Write a sugar daddy! Obi one shot. With sugar baby!ani I’m assuming? Oh dude. Definitely do it ✦ No Regrets by Icsek, obi-wan/anakin/padme, 1.4k Prompt: Give me the au where Padme and Obi-Wan are planning on getting rid of Palpatine but Anakin beats them to it first and everything is okay and nothing hurts and Anakin gets to be happy. ✦ Failures of Rhetoric by Mithrigil, obi-wan/satine, nsfw, 3.2k wip Diplomacy is an art that requires years of refinement. Satine doesn’t appreciate Ben’s many failures. Or, five times Obi-Wan Kenobi should’ve kept his trap shut. And once he should have said something, anything, anything at all. ✦ untitled by delicatefury, obi-wan & anakin & satine, ~1 She takes a moment to look at the blue projection of a waiting Jedi padawan before entering her private comm room. ✦ To Find I’m Not Alone + Wrestling the Angels and the Devils in my Head by MorganEilish, obi-wan/padme & luke & leia, 6k Padme survived Anakin’s betrayal, faked her death, and fled to the distant corners of the galaxy with Obi Wan to raise her children. ✦ Pillow Fight by Liana-chan, obi-wan/anakin, ~1k ObiWan is tired. And all he wants to do is go to bed. But something is wrong. Terribly wrong…
Alright. So, it’s time for me to be open about something that I haven’t mentioned to any of my close Christian friends. I’ve honestly been feeling so ashamed that I was afraid that I’d disappoint them. I’m writing this on here to ask for strength and healing during this time.
Well, here it is.
So, about a month ago my boyfriend, let’s call him Blake,and I broke up. Our break up tore me apart. 1. Because I thought he was the one that God picked out for me, and 2. Because I made some bad decisions in our relationship that I deeply regret. When I was about 12 or 13, I promised myself I’d stay pure until marriage. Now, here I am at 19 and during my relationship with Blake, I had premarital sex with him.
Yes. I know. The Bible says multiple times NOT to do this. Believe me. I’m having a really hard time forgiving myself right now, and I can’t even begin to explain how dirty and worthless I feel. I know what I did was wrong, and I wish that I could take it back. I really really do.
I loved Blake. A lot. So when we ended, I was destroyed. Still am. I didn’t realize it, but in the back of my mind, I had been holding on to the hope that we would get back together. Why? Because things didn’t end badly between us. He wanted to end things because he felt a strain on his relationship with God. He’d felt so before we started dating. I know a lot of you are going to think that this is a lie coming from him, but I know him well enough to know he isn’t lying. He’s never lied to me before, and I know he really cared about me, so I have no reason not to trust him. The other night, we were talking, and I got my heart broken all over again. He had asked me if I found anyone nice. When I told him no, he said “well you will”. He doesn’t want to get back together. So yeah…
The funny thing is, it was actually an answer to prayer. Just not in the way I expected it. I had been praying that he would draw near to God again. He had been drinking once in a while, plus our sexual sin, so I really wanted us to come together in Christ and repent. So in a way, it worked out. He seems to be a lot better, and we’ve been praying for each other. A small shred of me still hopes that we’ll get back together, but I’m really trying to focus on God right now, and not worry about that. Because if it’s really meant to be, God will work it out in His perfect timing.
Right now, all I ask of y'all is to pray hard for me. I’m being heavily attacked by the devil, and he is filling my head with all sorts of bad thoughts about myself. Nasty, worthless, wasted, slut, unforgivable, disgusting, dirty, used. These are all things that have filled my mind, and I really need prayer for strength and self-forgiveness. I would really appreciate lots of prayers right now.
I’ve never had a monkey
On my back, but
I have a snake in my ear
He hears all my despair
Knows all my secrets and
Whispers sweet nothings to
Me when I’m down
He let’s me know when
I’m wrong and how
I can never be right
He’s good at smelling out
My fears and laying eggs
Of insecurities there
When I feel like quitting
He wraps around my neck
And flicks his tongue in
My face, most days I
State back defiantly but
There are nights when
I’m alone and I let
Him strangle me, when I
Wake up the next day
I’m always surprised and
I think to myself why
Am I still alive but
I don’t think I’ll have
to worry much longer
“It was very brave of you. Try to attack me like that. If your army had the same bravery you wouldn’t be here now."His said as he moved closer. He stopped beside my bed, pretending cosiderate what he had said."Nevermind, you would anyway.”
6/29/17 I did it again Charlie. I binge ate SO BADLY. I’m disgusting. I hate myself. I can’t believe I just did that. I need to lose weight. Every time I’m close to eating healthy it’s like a devil in my head goes crazy and I binge on useless random unhealthy junk. Love always, Em
It’s crazy because I remember being five years old, my mother was 24. She told me my aunts would be living with us for a while, because my grandmother was diseased. So my mother,at age 24, took care of her three sisters as well as my brother and I. She said, “Grandma is sick, so their going to live with us for now”. Sick with some disease called addiction.
It’s crazy because by the time I was 14 my aunts were all adults and moved back home to Cali. I heard my mother crying, and I asked her what was wrong and again, I hear that word “addiction”
It’s crazy because we learned in elementary school the dangers of drugs and we swore we’d never be those people. Drugs are gross, who would throw their life away for that?
It’s crazy because when Mom told me that her sister had become a slave to the very monster that destroyed their family, I use to think, “How could someone watch their parents be that sick and yet still end up addicted to such a horrible thing?”
It’s crazy because by the time I was 16 my grandmother had been clean for 11 years (17 years to this day) but my grandfather had lost his mind. Drug induced schizophrenia. The voices, the shadows… it’s just a side effect…. Well his never went away.
It’s crazy because even with her father talking to the “ghosts” my aunt kept dancing with the devil. At 14 years old she took her first ride on the white horse. And round she went for the next eleven years.
It’s crazy because a year and a half ago, I was reintroduced to my aunt. She moved back here to Fl. To get clean and away from her abusive boyfriend. We became best friends, I let her live with me. We’d drink and do Coke until the sun came up every weekend. She stayed clean, and she stayed in Fl. For the first time in eleven years she seen through sober eyes.
It’s crazy, because the first time I seen the drug up close in person was seven months ago. I knew better, I knew the dangers. But my fiancé was dead, Drowned in his vomit just two days before.
It’s crazy because I tried to hide it from my aunt who was also living with me. But a tweaker knows a tweaker, and she just couldn’t resist. A year had gone by that she’d been sober, and here I was bringing her back to the dark side.
It’s crazy because I was there that night, before he passed. (My fiancé) I left angry with him. Told him I never wanted to see him again.
It’s crazy because that’s the last thing I said to him.
It’s crazy because after knowing all these things, after seeing what Crystal meth did to my family, here I sit. Without the slightest desire to quit.
It’s crazy because I knew what I was doing, I just didn’t care. I remembered them telling us in school how dangerous it was, but I no longer felt the meaning of life, I longed to put myself in danger.
It’s crazy because I have been suicidal before, but suicide is sinful.
It’s crazy because one year ago I would have said I don’t believe in God. Before my late fiancée passed, he’d tell me,“don’t worry, you will be saved” and I’d nod my head just to get him off the subject.
It’s crazy because when I found him dead the morning after I left him, I couldn’t help but feel at fault. His sister said to me, “God has taken him from us, so that the lives of others would be spared”
It’s crazy because since he’s been gone, I find myself praying to a a God I never believed in.
Praying that I find myself. Praying that I shake these demons that I’ve allowed into my life. Praying that I find a sense of peace and clarity. Praying that one day, I will be okay. Because suicide is selfish and sinful he wouldn’t do it. He let the alcohol do the dirty work, he drowned himself in the bottle. Selfish bastard, I miss you so much.
Praying that you made it to heaven, sending all of my love. Praying I don’t suffocate myself in these clouds, but I just can’t seem to get enough. Praying for your friends and family, and praying for my own well being.
Praying I’ll overcome this disease. Praying for a desire to feel again. Praying that one day, I will want to be better, because right now, I’m okay with where I am and it’s not okay.
There were two requests about Roman Reigns’ hernia, so I meshed them together. I hope you two who requested the imagine enjoy! Xo
– Can you do an imagine where you’re dating /married to roman and you get the call that he needs emergency surgery for his hernia? Please and thank you xoox
– You and roman getting into a fight about his possible hernia and then him being all romantic and apologetic when he has the surgery
Leati’s next show is here in Barclays Center, so we took the opportunity to have a nice little dinner date, along with a drink or two before we get back to our regular routine tomorrow morning. He leads me into our hotel room with the brightest smile on his face. I see it everyday, but each time I’m blessed with it, I fall just a little bit deeper in love with this gorgeous, crazy husband of mine. I kick off my heels and throw my bag onto the floor beside them, then tug at Leati’s shirt so he’s forced to press his big body against mine.
“I had an amazing time tonight.” I press a small kiss on the corner of his mouth. “Thank you.” “You are absolutely welcome,” he says, leaning down to take my lips between his teeth. Then he walks forward, slowly making me step backwards until the back of my knees hit the mattress. “I wasn’t in the mood for dessert earlier… but I am now.” “Oh.” My eyebrows rise in amusement. “What do you want then?” I begin to unbutton his shirt. Despite the muted lighting, his golden skin glistens, just begging for me to kiss every inch of him. “My favorite,” he breathes, nipping at my bottom lip again. “You.”
The hem of my dress is trussed up and over my head in a flash. And before I know it, my back hits the mattress. The cool sheets instantly make my back bow off the bed. Leati straddles my hips, his long and strong fingers float up my torso, my ribcage, up my arms, until he binds my wrists with his hands. I’m completely at his mercy.
“Your clothes are still on. That’s hardly fair.”I pout. He releases me briefly, shrugging off his shirt fully. I take the opportunity to watch him move, kicking off his shoes and socks and finally slipping off his jeans. All of his clothes are on the floor beside my dress without a care. Then he crawls over me again, his left hand binding my wrists. “Any other complaints?” His warm breath against my neck stirs the pool between my thighs. My hips writhe beneath him on their own accord. “Not a one, baby.” “Getting antsy?” “Like you aren’t?” I giggle, directing my eyes to the unmistakable bulge in his Calvin Klein boxers.
Straight lust flashes through Leati’s eyes, and then his lips are on mine. His tongue skims my parted lips and I welcome him with the rise my head off the bed, making the kiss deeper, stronger. He responds immediately, ravaging me. His free hand slides down my neck, stopping when he reaches the tops of my breasts. With one swift move, my nipples meet the cold air, hardening even further. I moan into his mouth, tugging my hands free from his hold. I’m growing beyond antsy now. I free his hair from his bun and watch as the inky strands fall forward around his face. I giggle when the tips fall onto my breasts, tickling the sensitive flesh. Leati shakes his head, promoting his hair to tickle me further and I’m squirming, trapped under his thighs, in a fit of giggles.
I slap his thigh three times. “I tapped out!” I squeal. Leati leans forward, taking my mouth one more time until I’m breathless. “I just wanted to hear your laugh. Now do with me as you please.” He places my arms over his shoulders. Once he’s made sure I’m holding on tight, he flips us over so I’m splayed over him like a blanket. Skin on skin never felt so good. The only barrier is my bra and our underwear, but that will quickly no longer be an issue. I place my hands on his abdomen and fix myself to straddle him. He immediately winces, his hips buckling underneath me. This is not the first time this has happened.
“Incredible,” I huff, scolding him. “I’m going to take a wild guess and say that you have not gone to the doctor.” “Baby–” “Leati, dammit!” I crawl right off of him and the bed, not caring about the fact that my hand was still on his stomach. If he doesn’t care, why the hell should I? “What the hell is wrong with you?” He leans back on his elbows. “You are ruining a very good moment. And a very promising end to the night.” “You,” I place my finger directly to his stomach, not at all missing his wince when I press into his skin, “are ruining a very good body. And a very promising career.” “It’s a possible hernia.” He shrugs. “That can possibly mess everything up for you. Does WWE know about this at all?” The smirk he was sporting flees his lips. The panic is setting in. Fucking good! “What are you going to do if it really is a hernia? What happens when the possible hernia becomes a real hernia during a match, huh?” “Then I will tap out and have my limp body carried out on a gurney.” His lips form a small smile, as if there was nothing at all wrong with the foolery that just slipped from them.
I am absolutely speechless. I throw my hands up in surrender and stomp off to the mini wardrobe across the room.
“Where are you going? Come back!” “I’m changing,” I growl through gritted teeth. That man is impossible. I free myself of my bra, quickly shrug on one of the impossible man’s famous t-shirts, and strut off to the bathroom without looking back. “Are you serious? What am I going to do with this then?” I peek over at him, finding him adjusting his groin in his boxers. I want him, as always, but my anger is definitely beating my need for his body right now. “That box of tissues still by the bed?” Confusion crosses his beautiful face. He looks to the box and nods. “Why?” I smile sweetly. “Good.” I grab my bottle of lotion from beside the sink and head back to the room. I toss the bottle at him. It lands directly between his sore spot and his groin, causing his legs to jerk off the bed momentarily. “Do with that as you please.”
As mad at him as I may be, I’m watching his match. I’m sitting backstage with a few of the divas gathered around me. I guess the girls are picking up on my mood because they’re barely talking to me, but I’m not making a big fuss about it. I’ve come to love some of the girls, but my mind is focused on Leati.
“Baby.” Speak of the devil. I turn my head towards the door. He is fully suited and booted in his ring gear, delicious as ever. “Yes, Leati?” “Can you come here for a second?” He gives me his best puppy dog eyes, so of course I stroll over to him. “Are you still mad at me?” “Does this still hurt?” I poke his tummy, softly. Even with his thick vest and my gentle touch, his eye twitches. I roll my eyes. “Looks like a yes from the both us.” “I promise that after this match I will go to medical. All right?” “Mhmm.” “Now give me my good luck kiss.” He puckers his lips. “Come on!” I let out a long, long sigh, pushing up to my tiptoes. My lips meet his and my eyes shut closed. Fireworks shoot through me at the contact, waking my want for him again. No way. Not gonna happen. I pull away from his lips, hesitantly. “Good luck, baby.” “Thank you.” He presses a chaste kiss to my lips once more and then he’s gone.
I join the divas again, waiting for Roman Reigns’ theme song to pour through the speakers.
“Everything alright?” Trinity probes. “We’re good.” I smile on a small shrug. “He’s just a massive pain in the ass.” “Undoubtedly. But don’t worry, he’s got this tonight.” She winks at me and now I’m wondering whether or not the winner of this match has already been decided. Leati never tells me, so it’s always a guessing game.
We turn our attention back to the TV once Roman Reigns starts making his way through the crowd. His fist meets with mostly the childrens’ little fists, while women and some men grope and pat at his back. I let out a small chuckle. He lands over the barricade and slides into the ring with his usual grace. And damn, does he look delicious. The next theme song hits and it’s one I recognize. Big Show. The giant takes his sweet time and I’m all but yawning. He finally steps foot into the ring and the bell rings. A few minutes in, Roman Reigns is still doing his rag-doll bit and I’m waiting for him to make his comeback. But something about this match is making my stomach churn. Big Show keeps going for Roman’s gut, Roman grunting and bending over in pain with each blow. Big Show didn’t know about the possible hernia, at least I don’t think he did, but he must because he’s surely going for it like a mad man. I watch Roman fight with every ounce of pain in his face. He’s hurt. No, he’s now injured and still pushing through. Big Show goes for the gut again and I’m suddenly flying out of my seat. I find myself pacing in front of medical, because this is where Leati will be once the match is done. Ten minutes later, no Leati. My phone buzzes in my pocket and I’m blindly reaching for it without a second thought.
“Hello?” I greet as Big Show appears through the curtain. A sigh of relief leaves my lungs. But the cautious look in his eyes does nothing but bring my stomach to churn again. “Mrs. Anoa'i, this is your husband’s EMT.” The earth bottoms out beneath my feet. I’m pretty freaking sure about that. “Please do not worry. Mr. Anoa'i does have a hernia that needs emergency surgery, but he will be perfectly fine.” Big Show steps forward, obviously coming to talk to me and I put my hand up to stop him. I don’t need coaxing. I need to get to my husband. “Where is he? Did you already leave to the hospital? Why didn’t anyone come find me–” “Mrs. Anoa'i, we searched for you but could not find you.” Of course not, because I was waiting in front of medical. Damn it! “We are headed to Mt. Sinai. I will personally wait for you outside of the ER as per request of your husband.”
That’s all I need to hear before I hang up and make a run out of the building, leaving Big Show and several of the divas with wide eyes as I pass them. I immediately hail a cab, shout out Mt. Sinai emergency room, and sulk in the back seat. He better be okay. He better fucking be okay. Stupid, stubborn man. This is exactly what I was afraid of. Stupid, stupid! I yell at him in my head. I’m not sure how much later, I throw a fifty dollar bill on the passenger seat and run towards the man waiting for me, just like my husband requested. He quickly leads me to the private room Leati is being tended to in. I burst into the room and spot his big body in a hospital gown and the signature white blankets hospitals give covering what the gown won’t.
“This must be your wife.” The blonde doctor smiles at me. “I’m Dr. Keller.” “Nice to meet you, Dr. Keller,” I huff out on a smile as genuine as I can manage. I’m winded, concerned, and upset. “Is he going in for surgery right now?” I talk like Leati isn’t in the room to keep my patience in check. “Yes. Like I was just explaining to Mr. Anoa'i, the hernia has twisted around one of his testicles. That’s why he wasn’t able to push it back in.” Wait. Hold up. “What do you mean push it back in?” “This has been happening for a long while, baby. I just… pushed it back in.” My neck snaps to my stupidly handsome husband’s face. “How long?” I grit out. Leati’s chin falls to his chest. “Six months…” “You pushed a herniaback into your body? For six months?” I slip into the chair beside his bed, fuming. “What the hell is wrong with you?” “Injuries equal downtime. Even more with surgery. That equals disappearing from the main roster. That means no TV time, no money. I couldn’t do that to us.” He grabs my hand in his, making a point to fix my engagement ring and wedding band so they are perfectly snug at the base of my finger. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I thought that I was doing what was best for my family. For us.” He threads his fingers in between mine and pulls my ring to his mouth, pressing feather light kisses all over my bands and his own. I pull our hands to my lips and repeat his feather light kisses. “I don’t care about TV time. I don’t care about money. I care about you, your body, and your health. You could be collecting bottles on the side of the road and I will still be by your side..” I pull his scruffy chin to look into his beautiful brown eyes. I’m kind of glad he removed his contacts before I got here. “Do you understand me?” Leati kisses our bands again. “I promise after this I’m going to take extra careful care of my body.” He leans over, pressing a long kiss to my temple before he reaches my ear. “You could’ve had me last night. Do you know how long its going to be before we make love again?” “Oh, Jesus christ!” I push him away from my ear and turn towards Dr. Keller, watching us with a small grin on his face. “He’s ready to go into surgery. Please, take him.” For his sake and my sanity.
“Yes, ma'am.” The kind doctor calls in his team to wheel away Leati.
“Good luck kiss?” I cock my head to the left. Of course, my stubborn man wants a kiss right now. “Good luck kiss.” I carefully sit on the edge of his bed, not wanting to pull at any IV’s or other wires attached to him. Ugh, this is a mess. I brace a hand behind his head and swoop in. His warm, soft lips coat mine, warming me from head to toe. Leati moves his hand up my spine to the nape of my neck. I make sure to take the kiss to the next level, juicy and leaving him wanting more. Then I pull away from him. “You’d collect bottles with me?” I burst into full blown hysterical laughter, promoting him to do the same. “Yes. I’d collect bottles with you, baby.”