Anyone who knew Jack Zimmermann would laugh at the idea of him even being able to remember the login for his Twitter account.
No one, not even his parents, would ever suspect that he checked his feed every single morning.
Jack didn’t care much for social media; he was too private a person to ever want the world to know where he was or what he was eating at any given moment. In fact, he only followed three accounts: his mother’s, the official Falconers’, and that of Li’l Dicky’s Southern Comforts. The latter was the only one he actually cared about.
See, Jack Zimmermann had a deep, dark secret – he was in love with the mini apple pies that were sold daily at Li’l Dicky’s. It was the only dessert he ever indulged in on a regular basis, and said indulgences were a secret he would take to his grave.
Every morning, Li’l Dicky’s posted their location for the day. Jack knew the general schedule by heart at this point, but some days the truck switched things up, due to weather or construction or event catering, and Twitter was the only way for Jack to know if he would be able to get his apple pie fix.
It didn’t hurt that Eric Bittle, the owner of Li’l Dicky’s, smiled at Jack like the sun shined out of his ass every time he came by. But really, it was the pies Jack couldn’t enough of. Mostly. Probably.
Reylo Fandom: So this person at Lucasfilms set a lawn on fire with the words ‘Kylo and Rey Will Have An Interesting Relationship’, but then also revealed that Snoke will be wearing a pink feather boa and some crocs. Also, for a second that same employee hinted that Rey hates deviled eggs but that Kylo loves them.
Reylo Fandom: aren’t you worried ????
Me: It’s been nearly two years. Lucasfilms has broken me. If you came and told me it was confirmed that Lucasfilms caused the fall of the Roman Empire, I would probably just sigh and shrug. This fandom explodes and rebuilds itself like a horrific, bickering, eldritch starfish. I’m still not even sure if The Last Jedi is real or if we’ll all shuffle into the cinema on December 15th and see a live action Evangelion reboot acted out by the sequel trilogy cast. Even if that did happen I would still probably sigh, shrug, and be impressed by this bold new marketing strategy.
This is what I made:
🎃Dark chocolate Halloween cookies with dark chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, whites chocolate chips, and peanut butter chips
🕷Muddy Buddies mix (not pictured)
🎃little smokies with a brown sugar, ketchup, Worcestershire, BBQ sauce (not pictured)
🕷Rotton pickle pasta salad; I just died it green (not pictured)
🎃Spider web deviled eggs
🕷Pumpkin, pecan, and honey baked Brie (not pictured)
🕷Mummy jalapeño poppers ⬅️these were SO cute and tasty!!
🎃Pepperoni and sausage pizza skulls
Holy shit, y'all. My friend is having a baby and her mom made “Deviled Egg Babies” for her shower. Like, here ya go everybody, chow down on these chilling little replicas of the thing that’s growing in my stomach.