Growing Up German
  • Always getting a free slice of sausage at the butcher
  • Hearing stories where people violently died as bedtime stories
  • Closing your eyes when the Sandmännchen throws his sand so you don’t have to go to sleep
  • Making your own ice cream with Fruchtzwerge yoghurt
  • Benjamin Blümchen Cake
  • Singing a song about chinese people playing contrabass
  • “Fisher Fisher how deep is the water?”
  • “Don’t throw snowballs, one time a girl got a snowball with a stone in it in her eye and she went blind!”
  • “Charlie Chaplin went to Frankfurt…”
  • A depressed bread called Bernd
  • Knowing like 2 people who can pronound the English “th” properly
  • Humilating unathletic students in front of the whole school a.k.a. Bundesjugendspiele
  • “My grandma rides a motor bike in the hen house.”
  • Toggo Tour was like Coachella for German kids but you could never go cause they never came to your town
  • “cat toilet, cat toilet, yes that makes the cat happy”
  • “Space Taxi to the sky!”
  • “Now in every 7th egg!”
  • “Get [insert stupid ringtone here] in the Jamba Sparabo!”
  • Is it der, die or das Nutella?
  • Having friends in other states is difficult cause they’ve got school holidays when you’re still in school and vice versa
  • “Of course with the Mouse and the Elephant”
Wenn du jemanden verlierst, dann verlierst du ihn nicht nur an dem Tag an dem ihr euch auf wiedersehen sagt.
Du verlierst ihn jedes Mal wenn du ein Auto siehst, das so aussieht wie seins. Du verlierst ihn jedes Mal, wenn sein Lieblingslied im Radio kommt.
Du verlierst ihn jeden Abend wenn du alleine in deinem viel zu großen Bett liegst.
Und wenn du morgens aufwachst und auf das leere Kissen neben dir starrst, verlierst du ihn wieder.
—  Verlieren.