detaching yourself

Mars Signs

Mars in Aries: Master of Aries, Mars gives the natives tons of energy, sex appeal to resell, and sometimes an explosive character that you will have to learn to control. Fortunately, your anger soon evaporates. Enthusiastic, assertive and bold, you are a natural leader who attracts attention even without looking for it.

Mars in Taurus: You are a nervous person, you work hard, you have feet on the ground. Determined, persevering, sensible and indefatigable, you can be distracted by the desires of the flesh, but when you engage in something, whether in a relationship or in a job, it is for the long-term - and the money. Born with great practicality, you pay attention to material goods and social status, often far more than you would like to admit.

Mars in Gemini: With the planet of aggression in the sign of the twins, you are fiery, contentious, nervous and irritable. Although you adore debating, you are not able to distinguish important principles from points of detail. Your energy rises and falls at a sometimes dizzy pace, but you have a keen and ingenious mind, and you are incredibly fun.

Mars in Cancer: You are a basically emotional person who needs to master his moods before he can successfully achieve his goals. If you do not understand it, you tend to make the head. You are extremely sensitive, but you may give people signs so subtle that many do not perceive them. In a couple relationship, you may be possessive and tenacious while you should be angry and take the door. You cook in your juice. You bury your emotions. You have to learn to be direct. But you are also awake, protective, devoted and imaginative, in bed and elsewhere.

Mars in Leo: Confident, exalted and indefatigable, you have passion, presence and continuation in ideas. When you are hired for a cause or an activity, virtually nothing can stop you. That’s right, you can be egotistic (which means you’re bringing too much interest to your own person) and arrogant, and your need to have an audience can be boring. However, your warmth, your enthusiasm and your eagerness to take the first step bring you many admirers, sentimentally and elsewhere. You create the excitement.

Mars in Virgo: Control is of paramount importance to you. You work hard, you are calculator and ready to look really straight in the eye. Sensible and methodical, you can detach yourself from your emotions when your success depends on it. This quality is advantageous for your career. In your private life, it gives you the amazing ability to turn on and off your sexual urges, at will like it.

Mars in Libra: In the best of cases, you are friendly, charming, you have class and you are incredibly attractive. You enjoy social life and you are willing to compromise, emotionally and in other situations. But you turn at a loss without a partner, professionally and personally. Moreover, you tend to conceal your uncertainties and insecurities by justifying your inconsiderate statements with more passion than logic, although you are proud of your rational mind. People sometimes feel compelled to say that they agree with you in order to simply put an end to the discussion.

Mars in Scorpio: You are courageous and cunning, determined, and you provide for your own needs. Gifted with a formidable will and unwavering desires, you also have a strong libido and are also intensely emotional. You can not stop yourself from succumbing to powerful feelings, and it is possible that you struggle with jealousy and the urge to seek revenge. It is not easy to adapt to changing circumstances, but you have a solid and reliable source of internal energy and a great deal of personal power. It is a beneficial position.

Mars in Sagittarius: Independent and enthusiastic, you have strong convictions, a love for outdoor activities, and a deep desire for adventure. But you may be negligent and provocative, and your crusades, begun with so much eagerness, do not always come to an end. You are also fair, direct, idealistic, and you can quickly gather your energy, especially if you have gone on an adventure.

Mars in Capricorn: Your desires, sexual or otherwise, are powerful, and your ambitions are targeted. When you feel recognized, your energy is reliable and you are persistent; But when you feel upset, your vitality drops. Effective, systematic and controlled, you respect tradition and authority, and you often reach the top of the hierarchy. You understand the hierarchies and you are, in different ways, a natural leader. But when you do not get the obedience you require, you can be incredibly cold. You usually try to hide your anger, but when it escapes, it’s unpleasant.

Mars in Aquarius: Whenever possible, you prefer the least traveled path. You are enterprising, impatient, unpredictable, and you are not afraid to take risuqes. Conventions bore you. Modern ideas captivate you and you appreciate the idea of ​​progress. Change makes you excited. You are independent, idealist and friendly. But emotionally, you can be rather cold, you even rebellion sometimes just to make you understand something.

Mars in Pisces: You fall deeply in love. You are generous, changeable, agitated and highly intuitive. But when emotional uproar exceeds your tolerance threshold, you tend to close. When this happens, your will evaporates, you have motivation problems, you can discourage your friends by your passivity, and your physical energy disappears. One of the main challenges in your life is to regulate your energy, which can often be the slave to your feelings.

trauma doesn’t often feel like trauma is ‘supposed’ to feel. it feels like indifferent detachment, watching from outside yourself because nothing can hurt you there. it feels normal, just how people interact, so why are you making a big deal about it?  it feels like a joke – just how kids play, just how adults tease, just how some relationships work.

you wake from nightmares five years later and still wonder if you made it all up.

trauma can look like bad behaviour. like the stubborn refusal to get better, to stop self-destructing. trauma is putting yourself in harm’s way because you don’t really mean it, or because it’s funny, or because you just want to feel something, or because you just want to stop feeling. it’s wanting to destroy and reassemble yourself into another person entirely, so your real life can begin. because this isn’t real. because really bad things don’t happen to people like you.

trauma is the constant feeling of being an impostor. it’s the drive to survive twinned with the impulse to make yourself more sick in more ways. to hurt yourself to prove how bad you feel, or to punish yourself for exaggerating. you want people to believe what you’ve been through, to tell you your feelings are real, that your memories really happened. but when people do take you seriously, you play it off as a joke, apologize for bringing the mood down.

you go on and on about how it wasn’t that bad. you seek permission to still love the ones who hurt you, because it’s the people closest to us who can hurt us most deeply.

you can feel like the people who hurt you are the only ones who really knew you. in low self esteem, you can mistake cruelty for honesty.

there will always be people who have been through worse. that doesn’t make what happened to you okay.

there will always be people who don’t believe you. that doesn’t mean you are lying.

at some point, you have to take yourself seriously. you have to make a life you can stand to live. it’s the only way to survive.

and sometimes i feel, well most times i feel like the endless traveller saying anywhere but here
you know, and it’s so sad, it’s tragic and i, well i, the place I grew up in… i have been away, for a long time,
and I was back home a month ago now and i knew every step from the train station to the flat i grew up in…
but nobody lived there anymore and it didn’t feel like home anymore and i just wanted to leave again
and how can i detach yourself from a place like that
the place i became who i am now, at least i think i did
how can i just not see it anymore, see it like home
cause they say home is where your heart is, and my heart is beating in my chest but i don’t feel at home, wherever i go
how did i manage to do that, to distance myself so far, to ruin, i can’t, i can’t go home, can’t find it can’t return to it, its evaporated, its no longer part of me? is my heart falling out of my chest? i don’t think i can deal with myself if i’m not there? but where?
—  sincere drunk ramblings my friend recorded - knight
Sometimes I feel inhuman, cold hearted, detached from this world I live in. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and discover in horror of who I’ve become. Sometimes I wish these feeling could just disappear. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever find myself again. Just sometimes.
—  r.c.r.
A Secret | SICHENG

so you’ve chosen a secret for your seven minutes in heaven? collab with @versigny and co, choose another path here

Genre: frat/college!au | fluff | mild angst sexual themes

Member: Sicheng / Reader

Word Count: 10,400+

Warnings: language, references and usage of drugs and alcohol, sexual themes

Originally posted by taeflower

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I Got You On My Mind [Part 4]

Jungkook Soulmate AU (Angst)

[Part One] | Previous Part | Part Four | Next Part

Summary: After your memory loss, adjusting back to normal life has been difficult. Luckily, Jungkook is always there for you. Still, something seems off about him, and you just can’t understand why.

Word count: 2k words

Originally posted by jungxook

“Oh yeah, I’m being discharged tomorrow,” you told Jungkook, who was pushing your wheelchair through the hospital. He insisted that you needed a change of scenery. “My parents are going to pick me up and drive me back to my apartment.”

“I-I guess it’s too early for the ‘meet the parents’ thing, right?” Jungkook stammered, uncharacteristically nervous. “Unless you want me to. Like, I don’t mind if–”

“Chill, Jungkook,” you laughed, cutting his off his rambling. “I think they’re more worried about my brain damage than any soulmate business.”

“The doctors said you’ll recover your memories though, right?” Jungkook asked, worry lining his words. “Your memory loss won’t be permanent or recurring?”

“They said my memories will come back slowly,” you replied, shrugging your shoulders nonchalantly. “But most of the time, the memories will have to be triggered by something. They also told me I might have short-term memory issues for the next little while.”

“That seriously sucks,” Jungkook said. “If you need any help with anything, just let me know. I don’t really know how I’d be useful, but don’t hesitate.”

“We’re not in the same department,” you snorted, turning to peer up at your soulmate who was both familiar and foreign in this instant. “This is gonna make school so difficult. I’ve forgotten nearly three months worth of content!”

“Maybe take the semester off?” Jungkook suggested. “Amnesia is a pretty valid reason. Have you talked at all to the university?”

“No,” you groaned, sinking into the wheelchair. “I don’t want to think about responsibilities right now. Just marvelling in the fact I’m still alive and kicking.”

A silence fell between you and Jungkook as he pushed you through a more crowded area of the hospital. You noticed a few younger visitors visibly gape at Jungkook, then glare at you jealously as you rolled by.

You agreed with them–how was Jungkook so damn good-looking? You hit the soulmate jackpot, for sure. Still, even if he looked different, you didn’t doubt that you would like him just the same.

“You know, it’s pretty crazy,” you blurted out unthinkingly. “I’ve been talking to you my entire life, and I always thought meeting you would feel like meeting an old friend. But honestly, you’re a total mystery to me right now. Maybe it’s because of the memory loss, or maybe other people feel this way, too.”

“No, I know what you mean,” Jungkook responded quietly, trying to figure out how to express his thoughts properly. “It’s just…we have an idea of who our soulmate is in our heads. When they’re not exactly that person, it’s kind of confusing.”

“And I’m sure there’s a lot of stuff we still don’t know about each other,” you agreed. “Honestly, I tried to make myself seem a lot better than I am.”

“Yeah, me too,” Jungkook laughed, though it sounded a bit off. You brushed it off as embarrassment. “Didn’t want to disappoint you.”

You turned your head and looked up into Jungkook’s eyes. “You couldn’t have disappointed me Jungkook, really. I’m just happy to finally meet you,” you replied, giving him a small smile. “And it’s kinda paradoxical, isn’t it? Disliking your own soulmate. Weren’t we, like, made to like each other?”

“I guess,” Jungkook said, staring ahead unwaveringly. He pushed you down another hallway, which led to the cafeteria. You only knew because of the wafting smell of hearty food was growing stronger by the second. “But nothing’s ever that simple.”

“Don’t I know it,” you sighed, laughing a little in spite of yourself. You turned the corner into the bustling cafeteria, the noise of the crowds deafening compared to the near-silent, depressing halls of the hospital.

“Want to grab something to eat?” Jungkook asked, the heaviness of your conversation vanishing before you could even blink. “I was going to grab something for myself, too.”

“Sure, I’ll have whatever you’re having,” you agreed. Out of habit, you reached down to pat your pockets for your wallet. “Oh shit, I don’t have any money on me. Don’t worry about it, then.”

“It’s cool, it’ll be my treat,” Jungkook said. When you turned to look at him, he was giving you a lopsided smile.

“Then, is this our first date?” you asked cheekily, delighting in the way Jungkook’s cheek burned. You never expected that a guy like Jungkook, with this terrible fuckboy persona, would be so easily flustered.

“If you want it to be, sure,” Jungkook answered, coughing into his hand awkwardly. You just laughed, and Jungkook pushed you forward wordlessly.


Life at home after getting discharged made staying in the hospital seem like an amusement park. After being sentenced to bedrest by your parents–and having Jieun enforce it with an iron fist–you spent your days bored out of your mind.

In only one week, you had binge-watched three shows, reread all of your course notes (and they didn’t help you remember anything), and read more manga that you had ever read before in your entire life.

You were positively itching to get outside and do something, but what bothered you the most was that you hadn’t talked to Jungkook since your “first date.” When you had gotten home, you jumped to charge your dead phone, which miraculously hadn’t been destroyed in the accident. But when the device finally charged, you soon realized that you had no way of contacting Jungkook.

For some reason, his phone number wasn’t saved in your contacts. Even though Jungkook had said you had met before, apparently you hadn’t exchanged numbers. That seemed very strange to you.

When you asked Jieun about it, she just shrugged the question off. She said your situation was a bit complicated, but that she’d have to leave it up to you and Jungkook. But Jieun did say that she would mention it to him when she saw him at school next.

Sighing, you reached for your phone beside you. It was still early in the morning. Time had lost all meaning to you, since you spent every moment of the day trapped in your apartment. A bit bitterly, you watched your friends’ Snapchat stories and longed to return to normal daily life.

Suddenly, your phone began buzzing. You dropped it in surprise, and it landed on your nose. The impact stung, and you cursed, reaching clumsily for the phone. You saw an unflattering picture of Jieun illuminate the screen. Eventually, you were able to answer.

“Hey, what’s up?” you asked, rubbing your hand against your sore nose.

“Y/N, I’m so fucking stupid!” Jieun practically screamed. Wincing, you held your phone away from your ear. “I know you shouldn’t be moving around, but I need you to come to the university right now. I’m working on a group project that’s due in two hours and a bunch of our files got corrupted. I have some stuff backed up on my laptop, which I left at home like an idiot!”

“Don’t worry, I can bring it to you,” you reassured quickly. “I won’t fall into traffic on the way there. It’s like a ten minute walk, so don’t worry.”

“Just don’t strain yourself, okay?” Jieun ordered, the panic still evident in her voice. “Don’t go to quickly and look both ways!”

“Hey, only I can make fun of myself,” you quipped, pulling yourself out from underneath the covers. “I’ll be over soon, I just need to get dressed.”

“Okay, see you soon. Thank you so much, Y/N,” Jieun said, and the both of you said your goodbyes before you disconnected the call.

You glanced down at your pyjama bottoms and at the thick cast over your right leg. Changing pants would be a battle for another day. Unsteadily, you stood up and balanced your weight on your unbroken leg. You reached for the crutches leaning against the wall beside you and tucked them underneath your arms.

As quickly as you could (which was not very quick), you had thrown on a clean shirt and a jacket. Your hair was a mess, so you shoved on a beanie to disguise the tangled frizz. With Jieun’s securely laptop in your backpack, you began the trek to school. Suddenly, the journey seemed incredibly long.


When you finally arrived on campus, you were panting lightly and sweating. You made your way into the music building, relatively unfamiliar with its layout. You detached yourself from one of your crutches and reached into your pocket for your phone. Quickly you sent Jieun a text letting you know you were here.

There were a few benches in the foyer, so once you hobbled over to them, you set your bag down lightly and placed your crutches against the benches. Flopping down, you discreetly tried to massage your sore armpits.

But you were glad to finally be out of the apartment. The fresh air made you feel infinitely better.

“Y/N?” a familiar voice called. Your head whipped around in the direction of the voice. Jungkook a few meters away from you, looking as dark and intimidating as ever. His wide-eyed expression kind of ruined the image though. “What are you doing here?”

“Jieun forgot her laptop at home,” you replied, pointing to the backpack at your feet, as Jungkook made his way toward you.

“Shouldn’t you be at home?” he questioned, stopping when he was standing in front of you. You craned your neck to at him properly. “Is it okay for you to be walking around so soon?”

“Please, don’t get started on that,” you groaned, squeezing your eyes shut. “My parents and Jieun are unbearable. I’ve been lying in bed doing nothing all week.”

“You know, that honestly sounds like heaven,” Jungkook joked. “I’m so swamped right now. I haven’t slept in days.”

You inspected Jungkook more closely. His eyes were ringed by purplish dark circles, but they were hardly noticeable. How unfair–he always looked good.

“Hey, why haven’t you talked to me all week?” you asked suddenly, narrowing your eyes at Jungkook suspiciously.

“I was meaning to call or text or something, but I don’t have your number,” Jungkook answered sheepishly, scratching the nape of his neck awkwardly. “Didn’t know how to ask for it, since you haven’t been around campus lately.”

“Why’s that, though?” you continued, glancing down at your feet. “I mean–you said we met before. Why didn’t we keep in contact?”

“W-well, we did meet, but it wasn’t a proper conversation,” Jungkook explained stutteringly. “It wasn’t under the most normal circumstances, but–”

“Y/N!” Jieun’s loud voice suddenly interrupted. She burst into the foyer, looking absolutely frazzled. Her hair was a mess, her eyes were bloodshot, and you were pretty sure there were coffee stains on her shirt. “Thank god!”

Your friend ran over to you and practically dove for your backpack. She grabbed her laptop and hugged it tightly against her chest.

“Thank you so much. I’m so sorry I made you come all the way here,” Jieun cried, sounding frantic still. “Are you okay? Sore anywhere? Go home right away, okay? You need to rest. And please don’t tell your parents!”

“Oh my god, I’m fine Jieun,” you whined. “I think I can handle walking for, like, two minutes.”

“I just don’t want anything to happen!” Jieun insisted, stomping her foot childishly. “We’re speeding up the recovery process by being extra careful!”

You rolled your eyes. “Whatever. Go work on your project and try not to fail.”

“I will,” Jieun replied. “I’ll bring dinner on my way home.” She turned, only spotting Jungkook for the first time. Her eyes narrowed and she frowned slightly. “Jungkook.”

“Jieun,” he replied, just as shortly.

You looked between the two of them, wondering why there was so much tension. It looked like they were having a silent conversation, and you hated not knowing what was going on. You had the suspicion they were hiding something from you–but for the life of you, you couldn’t figure out what, exactly.

Eventually, Jieun just nodded and strode away, leaving Jungkook with a tight expression. Visibly, you could see Jungkook try to shake away the tension, his jaw unclenching. When he turned back to you, his features were schooled.

“Give me your phone,” Jungkook said, reaching out his hand and smiling softly. “I’ll add my number.”

- Girl in Luv

Okay, so this one was a bit filler-y. Originally I had planned to make this one angsty too, but I figured you guys could use the respite. Also, it would have been like 4k words and it’s like 2:30AM and this girl needs to sleep. Anyway, stay tuned!! Thanks as always for reading, and I hope you all enjoyed. Your replies and reblogs/tags are so cute I read them all 💛💛💛💛

Sneak Pt. 2 [M]

Summary: Power and seduction are a lethal mix, especially when you work at one of the world’s most powerful corporations. But be careful, because someone is always watching. 

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader

Genre: ceo!namjoon, dom/sub themes, smut, angst

Word Count: 7,253

A/N: this is unedited. I can’t look at it any longer as this took me 2 weeks to write. If there any mistakes, please let me know haha

Originally posted by jackjacky5

Part 1 Part 2

You run your fingertips along the tender parts of your neck. A knot had formed under your skin weeks ago. You really needed to get that checked out, but you also really needed to meet your deadline. At this point your work was more important than your health. There was a lot riding on this project, a possible entire rebranding of one of the most powerful companies in the world. And you were the one responsible.

There were times when you were in the middle of a long stretch of work when the night on his desk would flash through your mind. You would think about the wood pressed against your back in the middle of analyzing sales figures for the past 10 years. You could feel his breath on your throat in the middle of sending one of board members a strongly worded e-mail.

You hated how every touch was imprinted in the back of your brain. The asshole in Armani was in your head every time you closed your eyes. Your body started to tingle every time you passed by his office, knowing that maple desk was on the other side of it’s walls.

You hated it.

You hadn’t seen him since that night. He was conveniently shipped out overseas to check on some of the international branches of the corporation he inherited. You were glad, for the most part. It gave you time to detach yourself from that night and bury yourself in your work. Hoping that by the time he came back to the office you wouldn’t want to shove him against a wall and repeat the night on the desk.

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For minors struggling with bpd symptoms: Please please pleeease don’t have adults as your fps if you can help it. It opens up a huge gateway to abuse if said adult isn’t a normal person and instead tries to take advantage of you.

If an adult does end up becoming your favorite person (which I can understand as its hard to control who you may imprint on) do not bring it up with them and make sure to detach yourself as soon as you can.

I’ve had to deal with so much awful abuse because I just couldn’t break away from the adult manipulating me when I was a minor and that shouldn’t have to happen to any of you.

Babysitter-Ashton Irwin

Originally posted by loserxhemmo96

Warning: obviously smut and language

Rating: R


Your phone buzzed next to you on your bedside table. Groaning, you rolled over in your bed and unplugged your phone. Your phone read 8:30am which made you whimper in exhaustion. Below the time was a text from your only babysitting client at the time, Ms. Irwin. You had only acquired the job because your mom had been childhood friends with her, but she was a kind woman nonetheless.

Ms. Irwin was probably the sweetest woman to have ever walked the earth, despite the hardships she had overcame such as her husband leaving her with three kids a couple years ago. But what puzzled you to no extent was the fact that such a kind woman could have the literal spawn on satan as her eldest child.

Ashton Irwin, also known as Hades by yourself and your best friend (Y/BFF/N), was probably the rude human being you have encountered. Despite his stunning looks and musical talent, he was probably the one person you admittedly hated. Although he was a kind child when the two of you where in lower school, right when he hit his teens he pushed you away and never explained his reasons for doing so.

Now, in high school, he never even spared you a glance. It wasn’t as if you were still mad at him, he had pushed you away so long ago but he only angered you when you were babysitting his two younger siblings, Lauren and Harry. It seemed funny how Ms. Irwin always had you babysit even though Ashton was right upstairs in his room playing on his drums, but you both knew he wasn’t capable of taking care of two young children. 

From: Ms. Irwin-8:30am

Hey (Y/n), I’m so sorry to be an inconvenience to you but I was wondering if you can possibly watch the kids starting from 11am today to 7pm tomorrow? Sorry my boss just told me I have to come for a conference this weekend.

You groaned and sat up, running your hand through your hair before responding.

To: Ms. Irwin-8:34am

I’d be happy to (: I’ll see you at 11.

Since you had already woken up you knew attempting to go back to sleep was going to be useless. Hesitantly, you placed your bare feet on the cold wooden floor and quickly scampered to the bathroom to brush your teeth and you went to your kitchen to eat something for breakfast.

Time seemed to fly by and before you knew it you were approaching the front door of the Irwin household with your small overnight bag by your side.

You knocked once and the door flew open seconds later. Instead of the bright and smiling face of Ms. Irwin, you were greeted by the irritated look on Ashton’s face. “Hey Ash,” you smiled, despite the uncomfortable look on his face.

He closed the door behind you, “Don’t call me that,” he mumbled before walking past you to climb up his stairs and probably sulk in his room.

“(Y/n)!” Lauren yelled before wrapping her arms around your legs, followed by Harry.

“Hey guys! Are you excited about this weekend?” you asked, ruffling Harry’s hair.

They nodded in unison and you detached yourself from them to find Ms. Irwin who was in the kitchen making them their lunch. “Hi Ms. Irwin, how are you?” you asked, leaning against the counter.

She jumped in surprise, “Oh hi dear! I’m great, how are you?”

“I’m okay,” you responded.

“Thank you so much for coming on short notice. I really appreciate it.”

You smiled, grabbing the plates from her that held the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches she had made for them. “Of course, anytime. And don’t you have a plane to catch?” I asked.

Her eyes widened, “You’re right!” she rushed to grab her bags, “Again, thank you and I hope Ashton isn’t too much of a bother. He probably won’t leave his room anyways. Text me if there’s an emergency!” she yelled before running out to her car.

You let out a long breath before turning back to the two kids standing behind me. “So, what do you two wanna do?”

—————–

“That movie was so good!” Lauren yelled from the backseat of your car. The three of you had just went to the theater to see Moana and the kids were ecstatic about it.

You nodded and smiled, “Yeah it was great! What do you guys say? Ice cream when we get home?” They all nodded in excitement at your offer and practically bounced in their chairs until you arrived home.

Once you parked your car in the driveway they ran out of the car towards the house and flung themselves on the couch, awaiting their ice cream. You smiled at their excitement and went into the kitchen and pulled out the chocolate ice cream. 

You groaned when you realized the bowls where just about five centimeters from your reach even while you were on your toes. Suddenly, a body was pressed flush against yours. “You’re too damn short,” a voice said gruffly from behind you. You turned your head slightly to see Ashton’s bare, broad chest.

Before you knew it he had pulled down three bowls and placed them in front of you. “Thank you,” you whispered for no apparent reason, just because of the close proximity. 

His body lingered behind you for only a couple of seconds before he disappeared. You felt your face heat up but you quickly dismissed any thoughts of Ashton before scooping ice cream into the bowls.

“Who wants ice cream?” you asked, walking into the living room but you stopped in your tracks when the two toddlers were passed out on the couch. A soft smile spread across your face at the two softly sleeping. You set the bowls on the coffee table and picked up Harry to bring him to his room. 

After tucking both of them in you started walking down the hall to get to the stairs but you stopped in your tracks when you heard All Time Low blasting loudly from Ashton’s room.

You approached his door and opened it slightly, “Ashton can you please turn down your music? The kids are sleep-oh my god what are you doing!” you screeched when you saw Ashton laying naked on his bed, slowing pumping his length.

His face morphed into his signature angry expression and he pulled on his boxers before slamming the door in your face. You stood in front of his door, shell shocked for minutes until you finally processed what had actually happened and you ran downstairs to grab your bag and you shut the door to the guestroom down stairs.

Trying to get what you saw out of your head, you pulled out the book you brought with you and started to read. As you flipped through the pages you couldn’t seem to focus on what the story was telling you but rather on how hot Ashton looked, panting and grabbing his thick length in his hand.

A hard knock on your door interrupted your thoughts and you stood up from your bed, expecting one of the kids to be asking for the ice cream you promised them earlier.

But instead of the faces of one of the kids, when you opened the door you were faced with Ashton, and he looked more pissed then ever.

“Hey Ashton, I’m really sorry, I should’ve knocked-” your sentence was cut short yet again when Ashton flipped the two of you around and pushed you up against the door. 

You gasped when you felt his hot lips press hard kisses down the base of your throat. “Do you know what I was thinking about when I was jerking off?” he asked as he brought his face up to yours.

“What?” you asked.

His breath fanned against your face in uneven pants. “You,” he said before pressing his lips against yours.

It took you less than a minute to respond and you started moving your lips in sync with his. “Fuck I need you so bad,” he mumbled against your lips. All you could do was whimper in desperation.

“Where did this come from?” you panted, tangling your hands in his sandy curls.

He groaned when you tugged at his hair, “Fuck, I’ve liked you since we were crib mates.” With that his pressed his lips feverishly to yours again. You moaned when he shoved his tongue in your mouth.

His fingers slowly crept from your hips to your butt. He squeezed it lightly and pulled your body closer to his hips. He ground his rock hard erection against your clothed heat. “Fuck,” he drawled out. “I want to taste you so bad princess,” he mumbled against your lips.

He didn’t give you time to respond before he swiftly picked you up and sat down on the bed. With you straddling him, you pushed his chest back so you were on top of him. You tugged at his shirt, indicating you wanted it removed and he soon lifted it over his head. As he removed his shirt, you pulled yours over your head as well and you reached to unclasp your bra.

As soon as you had no clothes remaining on your top half, Ashton flipped you over so he hovered over you. “What do you want baby girl?” he asked, latching himself to one of your breasts. His tongue flicked over the sensitive bud and he grazed his teeth over it causing you to tug at his hair. 

“Anything, Ash. Please, I’m so wet.” 

A whimper escaped his lips as he left a trail of kisses down in between the valley of your breasts and he stopped right at the band of your sweatpants. He looked up at you for approval you merely nodded in response to his silent question.

Quickly, he pulled down your pants and continued kissing up your thighs from your knees. He kept stopping right where you needed him most so eventually you sighed in frustration, “Ash, please don’t tease-oh motherfucking shit!” you yelled wen he licked a long strip up your clothed heat.

He pulled down your underwear and left a kiss on your clit. “I love it when you call me that,” he mumbled before completely diving in.

His lips wrapped around your clit, sucking harshly causing your back to arch. When he added two fingers you almost lost it, “A-Ash, I c-can’t hold on much longer,” you whimpered, pulling his head closer.

He hummed against you sending vibrations that sent you over the edge. You let out a long moan as the knot inside of you exploded and you chanted his name repeatedly.

When he finally came up for air you pulled towards you and attached your lips to his. A hint of you could be tasted on his tongue which only made you more excited.

You dropped one of your hands down and slid it beneath his boxers. Grabbing his length, you slowly pumped it and with your thumb, you spread his precum around his tip.

He shivered, “As hot as you are doing this, can you please save this for next time because I’m literally about to burst and I really want to be inside of you when I do so.”

You didn’t stop pumping him which caused him to growl and grab both of your hands in one of his and he held them above your head. “Fuck you’re such a bad girl,” he groaned, pulling down his boxers with his other hand.

Out of anticipation, you rubbed your thighs together to try and create friction but he placed a hand in between them and spread them so wide you already knew walking would be an issue in the morning.

You felt his pulsing tip at your entrance and your mouth opened wide when he pushed his length all the way in. “Oh my-holy shit Ash,” you moaned, struggling against his grip because you ached to touch him.

“You’re so tight, princess,” he let out shakily.

You begged him to move and when he finally brought his length out and snapped his hips back into yours you could’ve sworn you saw stars. “Ashton, you’re so thick-fuck!” you arched your chest into his when he hit your g-spot.

He finally released your hands from his and brought his hand down to rub your clit. Instantly you brought your nails to his back and slowly dragged them down his soft skin. “Faster,” you moaned and tugged his lips down to yours.

He obeyed your wish and started snapping his hips harder and faster against yours. When he hit you g-spot again you clenched around him and he let out a strangled moan. “Fuck princess, please do that again.”

You clenched around him and without warning, he shot his load into you, making you cum around him as well. “(Y/n)!” he chanted as his thrusts got sloppy as he milked out both of your orgasms. 

Once the two of you had come down from your highs he turned and slowly pulled out and leaned on his side to face you. “I meant what I said.”

“And what was that?” you asked with a raised eyebrow.

“That I actually have really like you since we were crib buddies,” he laughed lightly. “I just didn’t know how to talk to a girl I really like and I didn’t wanna fuck it up.”

You smiled and pressed your lips to his. “I like you too.”

A wide smile spread across his face as he pulled you closer so that your head was resting on his chest. He turned off the bedside table lamp next to him and he left a kiss on your forehead. “Goodnight princess.”

anonymous asked:

Number 9+5 with jungkook please:))))))

Prompt request: “Will you be quiet!?” + “I made my baby cry!”

Pairing: Jungkook/Reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort + Fluff

Summary: Usually, Jungkook finds your loudness an endearing and cute quality. But today is not one of those days. After crashing at Jungkook’s apartment, you wake up to find him studying. Despite trying your best not to disturb him, you still can’t manage to keep quiet.

Word count: 1.5k words


Stretching your arms across the soft fabric of Jungkook’s sheets, you yawned and roused slowly. Last night, you had been studying with your boyfriend when a rainstorm made it too difficult to get home. Graciously, Jungkook had offered you his bed while he slept on the couch–you had only just begun dating and didn’t want to make it awkward.

Still, as you rose from the bed dressed in one of Jungkook’s old t-shirts, you couldn’t help but feel a little too domestic for a budding romance.

As you crept forwards, you landed on a floorboard that creaked loudly, cutting through the peaceful silence of the room. Wincing, you continued on quickly. You opened the door and stepped into the hallway, jumping as the sound of the door ricochetting off the walk echoed through Jungkook’s flat.

“Y/N?” Jungkook called out from somewhere, unseen. “Are you up?”

“Yep!” you chirped, emerging from the hallway. Jungkook was sitting on the couch, laptop perched on top of his thighs and textbooks scattered around him. His hair was messy, ruffled from sleep. You walked up behind Jungkook and pecked the top of his head. “Still studying?”

Jungkook nodded soundlessly, fingers typing furiously as his eyes scanned his textbook at a rapid speed.

Smiling to yourself, you detached yourself from your boyfriend and made your way into the kitchen. “I’m just going to eat something before I head out,” you said as you walked away.

“Sure,” Jungkook responded, sounding preoccupied. Understandably so–midterms were rapidly approaching.

Standing on the tips of your toes, you searched through Jungkook’s cabinets, trying to locate the utensils you needed. The dishes clanked as you retrieved a bowl that was stored higher on the shelves. Next, you rooted through the drawers, trying to find a spoon.

“Sorry, Y/N,” Jungkook began a little apologetically, craning his head to look at you from the living room. “You’re kinda loud, and I just need to focus right now.”

“Oh, of course!” you responded. You placed a finger over your lips. “I’ll be quiet.”

A box of cereal was on the countertop already, pressed flush against the backsplash. It was one of those bland, fibrous ones that was actually healthy. Figures Jungkook would eat that kind of thing. Opening the fridge, you grabbed a carton of milk and poured it into your bowl of cereal. There wasn’t enough milk, so the majority of the cereal remained dry.

Whatever, you weren’t picky.

You tossed the empty carton into the recycling bin, and it collided with the contents already inside. A few cans tumbled to the bottom of the bin, clanging loudly as they went.

“Sorry!” you squeaked, your arms outstretched towards the offending cans uselessly.

“It’s fine,” Jungkook said with a quiet laugh.

You slipped into a seat in front of Jungkook’s small kitchen table. For a shabby apartment–Jungkook was a poor university student–the kitchen was quite nice. The table was nestled into a corner, adjacent to a large window that let in plenty of light. Basking in the morning sun, the sky filled with full, fluffy clouds following the storm, you began to eat your cereal.

Due to the lack of milk, the cereal was quite dry. You munched on the dry grains absentmindedly, staring at the expanse of blue sky in front of you, lined with concrete structures and towering skyscrapers.

You couldn’t hear the sound of Jungkook’s frustrated sighs over your loud crunching.

Eventually, you finished the tasteless bowl of cereal. As you stood up to wash your dishes, your momentum caused the chair to slide backwards. It scraped loudly against the tile floors. Sighing inwardly at yourself, you made your way to the sink.

You turned on the taps and poured soap into the bowl. Scrubbing diligently, you began to hum a song that had been stuck in your head for the past few days, swaying gently to the light melody.

“Will you be quiet!?” Jungkook finally snapped, eyes glaring up from his laptop, gaze piercing into your back.

Your eyes widened, and you turned to face Jungkook. Hurt radiated through you, making your heart sting. “O-oh, sorry,” you replied with a watery smile. “I didn’t notice. Sorry.”

Turning back to the sink, you turned the taps and stopped the flow of water. Biting your lip, you felt hot tears begin to well in your eyes. With your head ducked down, you hurried out the kitchen and back in the direction of the bedroom.

“Y/N…,’ Jungkook called after you, a bit regretfully.

You didn’t hear whatever else Jungkook had to say. Shutting the bedroom door quietly behind you, a few stray tears trailed down your cheeks. Hastily, you wiped them away, cursing at your oversensitivity.

You tried to rationalize with yourself. You knew Jungkook was feeling really stressed lately. Naturally, you were a noisy person, and it was insensitive of you to be so loud while he was studying. Plus, he had been nice enough to let you crash at his apartment even when he was so busy. It made sense for him to be frustrated with you. Still, it didn’t make his words or his tone hurt any less.

The clothes you had worn previously were folded neatly on the foot of the bed. You quickly changed into them, laying Jungkook’s shirt down carefully. As you were attempting to put on your socks, you fell onto the soft bed.

Sitting motionless for a bit, you sniffled quietly and tried to collect yourself.

From behind you, you heard the sound of the doorknob turning. The door creaked as it opened slowly. Jungkook slipped into the room, padding across the floor soundlessly. You lowered your head, avoiding his gaze. You clasped your hands in your lap, opting to look at them instead.

Beside you, the bed dipped as Jungkook sat down tentatively.

“Y/N, I’m sorry,” Jungkook sighed, rubbing his arm nervously. “I didn’t mean to say it like that. I’m just really stressed and I took it out on you.”

You didn’t respond. Biting your lip, you fought back another fresh wave of years.

“Y/N?” Jungkook asked. He slid a hand underneath the curtain of hair that had fallen around your face. Cupping the side of your jaw gently, he raised your head to face him. His mouth opened in surprise when he took in your appearance, forming a small “o.”

Your eyes were ringed with red, framed by wet eyelashes. Your lips were red and swollen from biting, and your chin quivered slightly.

“I made my baby cry!” Jungkook gasped, his eyebrows furrowed. He wiped away a single tear with his thumb. “Y/N, I’m so, so sorry. I’m such an asshole, shit.”

He pulled you into a tight embrace, pressing your face into the crook of his neck protectively. Rubbing gentle circles into your back, he mumbled apologies into the crown of your head.

“I didn’t mean it, okay?” he asked helplessly, taken aback by your uncharacteristic silence. “It was my fault. Sometimes I have a bad temper, but it’s no excuse to make you hurt like this.”

You pulled back, still refusing to meet Jungkook’s gaze. “It’s okay,” you whispered, voice hoarse. “I know I’m too loud.”

“You’re loud, but that’s fine,” Jungkook insisted, holding your hands in his. “You’re super noisy, and you’re always doing something. But it’s cute, and it’s one of the reasons why I love you so much. Without you, my life would be quiet and boring. Being loud isn’t something you should be sorry for.”

“You mean it?” you asked, incredulous. Your eyes widened, finally peering up to meet Jungkook’s.

“What?” Jungkook asked, tilting his head with confusion written all over his face. “Yeah, it’s cute.”

“No, after that,” you said, unable to bite back the smile tugging at your lips.

A furious blush bloomed over Jungkook’s cheeks as he recalled what he said. “U-uh, yeah,” he stuttered, his voice uncertain. This time, it was he who glanced away. “That’s okay, right?”

“Say it again,” you demanded cheekily, grinning fully now. Any hurt had been washed away by Jungkook’s confession.

“I love you,” Jungkook repeated, his blush spreading to his ears. Still, his voice was steady this time, and he looked you in the eye. “So much.”

You laughed joyously, launching yourself into Jungkook’s arms. The both of you fell onto the bed, the mattress creaking underneath you. Jungkook laughed too, arms wrapping around your waist instinctively. Jungkook pressed gentle kisses against your lips, then down your jaw, and finally settled at the bottom of your neck.

Weaving your fingers through Jungkook’s soft hair, you smiled at the boy wrapped around you.

“Now that you’ve said it, you can’t take it back,” you warned Jungkook. “I won’t ever shut up now.”

“Good,” Jungkook grinned, detaching himself from your neck to look at you. He pressed his forehead against yours, eyes fluttering shut. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

- Girl in Luv

It’s 3 AM right now. I have to be up in a few hours. But I’d do anything for fluff. Hope you enjoyed this imagine. Send us some more requests! You can check out our prompts page for inspiration. Happy reading~ 

Ashes [M] Final

Pairing: reader x Hoseok

Genre: angst, vampire!au

Word Count: 8,109

Warnings: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, depictions of violence and gore

A/N: I cannot believe I am finally writing this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for embracing this story. Thank you for giving me the confidence for stepping outside of my comfort zone as a writer. I was extremely nervous to write a vamp au but you all welcomed this story with open arms. Thank you for loving vamp Hoseok and the OC as much as I have

Originally posted by jengkook

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Final

The pain raging through your body was nothing like you ever felt. The feeling of your teeth coming in that very first time was child’s play compared to this. You tried to stand on your feet, but the searing pain of Hoseok’s torture made you crumple back down to the ground. A pair of hands pulled you up from the grass, and brought you back inside the cabin. This was the worst nightmare you had ever experienced, except you would never wake up from this one.

Someone held a pint of blood to you lips, forcing you to drink until the plastic bag was empty. He sank down onto his knees, but through your blurred vision it was impossible to see his face. But he smelled familiar. “Y/N?” he asked cautiously, and you blinked several times until the red haired vampire came into focus.

“What the hell are you doing here?” you hissed, as you came face to face with one of Kai’s right hand men. “I thought I killed you.”

Chanyeol laughed, “You tried, but Kai was able to pull me out of the boathouse.”

“Chanyeol is on our side, Y/N. You didn’t think that Jimin was the only vampire we had on the inside, did you?. You can put your claws away.” Namjoon informed you as he came trudging through the room followed by the others. All in various stages of the healing process.

“How can I trust him?” you hissed, still unable to accept the redheaded vampire’s presence in the cabin.

The tall vampire looked you straight in your dead eyes, “Because you can’t. I could really care less what happens to you, I just want that asshole dead.”

A chill spread across your spine as he repeated the words you had heard several times over. The two of you stared at each other, enemies fighting for the same cause. You pursed your lips into a thin line as you started to pace the kitchen, “Fine. Tell me what your big plans are.”

Namjoon nodded at the empty chair at the table, “I think you should sit down for this.”

Keep reading

Always be Here

Originally posted by squintlovely

Charachters: Jughead x Reader

Word Count: 1,200

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, ABUSE - if you are at all uncomfortable with this then I highly suggest you do not read.

Request: an imagine with jughead comforting a reader with nightmares pls <3<3

A/N: Here you go sweet anon! I hope you enjoy ;-*


<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>


Your past was rough. But everyone knew that. Your dad beat your mother and sometimes you until the age of 9 when a neighbor filed a police report after hearing the terrible sounds one night. Your father was currently in jail serving a life sentence and your mom had packed all of your things and moved you both back to her hometown of Riverdale. 

You kept to yourself mostly, until a raven haired boy by the name of Jughead Jones approached you. He had been intrigued with you the moment his eyes landed on you, he noticed all of your behaviors but never pried, trying to make sure you were never uncomfortable.  

Eventually, your past made its way past your lips a couple years after meeting him and all he could do was hug you as you told him detail after detail accompanied with a load of tears. But he never minded, in his eyes you were strong and beautiful and he could never see you otherwise. After that, you both were closer than ever, and you were always there for each other, especially when a good rant just need to leave your systems. 

Your mother on the other hand never really did recover. She was always in and out of rehab every few months, claiming she was going through yet another problem. Because of this, she was never really there to parent you, you practically raised yourself. Without Jughead you would’ve truly been alone.
Your past plagued you with nightmares. Your mom’s screams for help, your father yelling at her to shut up. And then he would come after you. Night after night the torment continued and each morning you would lock it all away and wait until the next one that evening.

You never let anyone now about the nightmares. They were your own little secret. Jughead had his suspicions when he would continuously see the bags under your eyes, but said nothing.

Now it was another normal Friday night. You and Jughead were both at your house finishing homework so that you wouldn’t be stressed about it the rest of the weekend. He usually would accompany you on Friday nights so that you wouldn’t be lonely. (Your mom had checked herself into another rehab because of ‘attempted drug use”, but you knew it was just another excuse.)  

On that night, you had ordered takeout from Pop’s as you both worked on homework for Algebra 2. After you had finished an hour later, you realized just how late it was. “I can’t believe it’s already 10:00.” Jughead quickly looked at the clock to confirm your statement. “Wow.” He commented. 

“You turned to him with a look of worry. “Jug, I don’t want you walking home this late, especially with Jason’s death. I don’t know what I’d do with myself if you-.” He quickly cut you off. “Nothing’s going to happen to me, don’t worry. I’ll sleep on the couch here or something.” He assured you. You nodded and went to grab him a few blankets and a pillow so that he wouldn’t be too uncomfortable. He thanked you and then went to situate them in a way that would suit his tall figure.

“I’m go gonna go to bed then, Goodnight, I’ll see you in the morning Jug.” You said as you kissed him on the cheek and then headed off to your room. You brushed your teeth and washed your face quickly before changing into some pj’s and climbing into bed. You sighed softly knowing what was to come when you closed your eyes but persuaded yourself to do so anyway. A few minutes later, you were asleep.

“You lying slut!” your father roared as your mother flinched in her seat. “You know you aren’t supposed to talk to other men! What the hell were you thinking!?” Your mother looked at him confused. “I was talking to my cousin. I haven’t seen him in 5 ye-.” She was interrupted with a loud slap. She gripped her cheek as hot tears ran down her face.

“Don’t talk back to me! You should know not to by now.” He took another swig of what seemed to be his fifth beer. “I don’t fucking care if he was your cousin, you’re mine.” He took another drink. “You and little y/n over there.” He turned to you as you tried to avoid his stare. “Look at me when I’m speaking to you.” He growled as you quickly looked up at him. “I-I’m sorry daddy.” He grinned, “That’s better. “Now,” he walked over to your small trembling frame and came to stop with his arms crossed.

“Any news about school? How are your grades? He opened another beer as he waited for you to answer. ‘Well, we had a spelling test but I…” you trailed off knowing you’d be in trouble. “But what?” He snarled. “I-I-I didn’t d-do so well.” You finished quietly as you looked down. Your father was enraged.

You felt a burning pain on your cheek and shrieked in response. “Why the fuck are we putting you in a damn school if you never learn anything you fucking idiot!!?” he shouted as another strike came down. All you could do was scream when-

You were shaken awake as blue worried eyes peered down at you. His rustled black hair fell in his face as he called your name trying to get a response.
“Y/n?” you sat up breathing hard as you gripped the sheets, trying to gain some control over your movements. Stray tears fell down your face as Jughead pulled you into his body trying his best to calm you down. “Shh y/n… It’s ok… I’m here…” You only heard small bits of what he was saying as you tried to calm down.

“Hey, can you hear me? Good. Now listen to my voice. I want you to breathe in and out with me, understood?” you nodded as you listened to his soothing voice and inhaled. “Good job, you’re doing so good, I’m here y/n, I’m here.” You continued to deep breathe and eventually the tears stopped. But Jughead continued to hold you, slightly rocking you back and forth.

“How long?” he finally asked after a moment of silence. “How long what?” “How long have you been having nightmares?” he clarified. You finally detached yourself from him and immediately regretted it when his comforting arms disappeared. “Since I moved here.” You replied quietly.

“What” you cowered and bowed your head immediately muttering a sorry. “No.” he lifted your head up with his pointer finger. “Don’t you ever be sorry. I’m just upset that you never told me about this within the longevity of our friendship.” He looked into your deep e/c eyes and sighed. 

“Were they about your dad?” you nodded slowly. He silently cursed to under his breath. “Y/n, I can’t pretend I know what you’re going through because I don’t. But I will ALWAYS be here for you, ok? Always. Even if its 2 am and you’ve woken up with another nightmare call me, and I will come for you. I promise.” Your lip trembled as he pulled you into another embrace. “I’ll always be here…”

One human vessel. That’s it. I am annexed in a human vessel. I should treat it well. Not embarrass my vessel for she is fragile. Protect her. Spoil her. Nourish her. Bathe her. But most importantly: take advantage of her.

Go on… detach yourself from her. She is an earthling; but you… you are a soul. An imagination. A spirit. An experience. Take control.

—  Olive K. 
There will be moments in your life that you’ll get tired of everything. You will wake up one day that you don’t want to talk to anyone around you and you just want to be alone. They will be clueless because of your sudden change. You won’t figure out what’s wrong with you because you know, you just want to be by yourself. No explanations, no deep reasons. You will search for a space of silence in this noisy world. You will detach yourself slowly from people around you and start living without them. You will shake off negativity and be neutral. Coffee and music will be your best friends, you will shut down the world you’re living in for a moment. Inactivity will take place. This phase is called hibernation. You will get tired in life eventually, and it’s normal. You will slow things down, reinvigorate your soul, purpose and life through it. Once done, you will be ready to live again with a newer and better version of yourself.
letters to a friend
  • aries: i'm sorry that we fought during our last year together. i miss you so much, and will always cherish our drunk days together.
  • taurus: god, you are absolutely gorgeous. your voice makes me melt. why do you always fight, even if you know you are wrong?
  • gemini: why do you keep me at arms length? why don't you let yourself really, fully connect with anyone? i understand adaptation, but sometimes it really is too much.
  • cancer: do you understand that i am not trying to hurt you? please stop fighting me when i try to see past your protective shell. i simply want to care for you.
  • leo: you even look like the sun; you radiate like nothing else. i know you love with every fiber of your being, but that is no reason to let someone take advantage of you.
  • virgo: sometimes criticism is good, but don't you think you push it? please do not try to fix me; i am not broken. i miss you.
  • libra: you push away people that actually care about you, and for what? for a sign that represents a scale, you really do not understand balance. let yourself be cared for.
  • scorpio: you do not let anyone really understand your mind and heart as a whole, and shatter yourself like glass to protect who you are. don't you think this is counterproductive? please try to keep yourself whole.
  • sagittarius: i understand the pursuit of knowledge, but sometimes you take the way you feel as a fact. you know that not everything you say is based upon factual evidence, and somehow you convince everyone that your way is the right way. why don't you try letting someone else convince you for a change?
  • capricorn: you do not let your emotions influence anything you do, which is admirable, but sometimes you need to listen to them. the world is made up of facts, but feelings make the world go 'round.
  • aquarius: why do you treat your lovers like friends? you are afraid of losing your individuality in another person, and detach yourself instead. please let yourself love.
  • pisces: you see the face of everyone who has ever hurt you on someone who really actually cares for you. i understand a victim complex, but you're not just hurting yourself by thinking this way.