destroy-to-rebuild

To my Valentine, I love you.
—  I shouldn’t start a love letter with an apology, but I think you’ll come to find it sincere. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be the first person to kiss you, the first time someone kissed my lips I understood that to love is to be in pain– but my sister had to explain that love shouldn’t hurt, it should be painless. The light breeze while you’re outside exploring the city during spring kind of feeling. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be the first person to hold you, the first person to hold my hands said that I shouldn’t regret anything or anyone because in this moment? This very second… you wanted it with every part of your being. It doesn’t matter in the end, the only thing that matters is the journey. The road that led you to me will ultimately lead you back to yourself. I’m sorry that I won’t be the first person to make you feel love. The ocean is a heart and I’ve been building a sandcastle that’s tall enough to seek you out. I’m sorry that I won’t be the one you’ll show off to your mother. I’m sorry that you’ll think about me when sleep is close to impossible. Valentine’s Day no longer holds value to me. I’ve been doing some thinking lately about who I am as a writer and what it means to say I love you. To love someone enough to let them go. To love someone enough to tell them to grow without you. To love someone enough that you’re willing to explain the reasons as to why it won’t work just yet. To love yourself enough to come to terms with it. One day someone’s going to treat you better than I ever will. One day someone’s going to ask you to marry him. One day someone’s going to have your smile. One day someone’s going to leave you love letters near the kitchen sink. One day someone’s going to pretend to spoon feed you during dinner and pull you in for a kiss. One day someone’s going to write poems for you and mean it when he says I want you to be mine forever. One day someone’s going to be right beside you. He’ll be right there. By your side, as the sun hits your curtains and you’re struggling to get out of bed– he’ll swing those curtains open and jump scare you. He’s going to sing for you while you’re in the shower. He’ll hold you while you’re having nightmares. He’ll reason with you intellectually if you’re ever in a dispute about art and poetry. He’ll walk you down that aisle and never think twice. He won’t do drugs and he’ll be healthy. He won’t smoke cigarettes and he won’t be perfect, but my god, he’ll make you forget about me. You’re stubborn and hard headed, you’re just like me. You’re smart and colorful down to the bristles of your soul. As an artist and a writer, we are compelled to chase after a love story fitting to declare war upon ourselves. You’re going to paint his life like how I’ve done for you. He’s going to squeeze your palms and ask for a dance. He’s going to hold your hips and ask for a walk. The moon will be out and you’ll enjoy your night. Love screams from a multidimensional place– I’ve seen seen love crash and burn. I’ve seen love destroy and rebuild. I’ve seen love light enough to blind us from ever seeing the truth. I’ve seen a love that’s frightening. I’ve seen terror within the night– you’re only sober if it feels right. I’ve seen who I am and I’m still lost. Some words cost us an eternity of apologies. Some feelings never leave us, even if the people do. You’re more than what I can ask for, you’re more than you know. We’ve been down this road before. Some day we’ll forget about who we are today, some day we’ll change forever. Some day you’ll understand the why, some day you’ll find the who, some day he’ll bring you to the where, some day he’ll show you what’s in his heart, and you’ll realize about the how. I’m still searching for myself– I’m falling deeper into a sea that isn’t designed for swimming. I’m stuck in a place that only has room for one person. Do you ever feel like there’s something wrong with the way that we are? Something’s always missing in the daily routine, there’s something broken inside of my head. Love letters sprinkled with heartfelt laughter– I wish I could give you that. I only want the best for you even if that person isn’t me.
theguardian.com
Ten things I learned about writing from Stephen King
The novelist James Smythe, who has been analysing the work of Stephen King for the Guardian since 2012, on the lessons he has drawn from the master of horror fiction
By James Smythe

Stephen King is an All-Time Great, arguably one of the most popular novelists the world has ever seen. And there’s a good chance that he’s inspired more people to start writing than any other living writer. So, as the Guardian and King’s UK publisher Hodder launch a short story competition – to be judged by the master himself – here are the ten most important lessons to learn from his work.

1. Write whatever the hell you like

King might be best known – or, rather, best regarded – as a writer of horror novels, but really, his back catalogue is crammed with every genre you can think of. There are thrillers (Misery, Gerald’s Game), literary novels (Bag Of Bones, Different Seasons), crime procedurals (Mr Mercedes), apocalypse narratives (The Stand), fantasy (Eyes Of The Dragon, The Dark Tower series) … He’s even written what I think of as being one of the greatest Young Adult novels of all time: The Long Walk. Perhaps the only genre or audience he hasn’t really touched so far is comedy, but most of his work features moments that show his deft touch with humour. It’s clear that King does what he wants, when he wants, and his constant readers – the term he calls his, well, constant readers – will follow him wherever he goes.

2. The scariest thing isn’t necessarily what’s underneath the bed

Horror is a curious thing. What scares one person won’t necessarily scare another. And while there might be moments in his horror novels that tread towards the more conventional ideas of what some find terrifying, for the most part, the truly scary aspects are those that deal with humanity itself. Ghosts drive people to madness, telekinetic girls destroy whole towns with their powers, clowns … well, clowns are just bloody terrifying full stop. But the true crux of King’s ability to scare is finding the thing that his readers are actually worried about, and bringing that to the fore. If you’re writing horror, don’t just think about what goes bump in the night; think about what that bump might drive people to do afterwards.

3. Don’t be scared of transparency

One of my favourite things about King’s short story collections are the little notes about each tale that he puts into the text. The history of them, the context for the idea, how the writing process actually worked. They’re not only invaluable material for aspiring writers – because exactly how many drafts does it take to reach a decent story? King knows! – but they’re also brilliant nuggets of insight into King himself. Some people might think that it’s better off knowing nothing about authors when they read their work, but for King, his heart is on his sleeve. In his latest collection, The Bazaar of Broken Dreams, King gets more in-depth than ever, talking about what inspired the stories in such an honest way that it couldn’t have come from another writer’s pen. Which brings us to …

4. Write what you know. Sort of. Sometimes

Write what you know is the most common writing tip you’ll find anywhere. It’s nonsense, really, because if we all did that we’d end up with terribly boring novels about writers staring out of windows waiting for inspiration to hit. (If you like those, incidentally, head straight for the literary fiction section of your nearest bookshop.) But King understands that experience is something which can be channelled into your work, and should be at every opportunity. Aspects of his life – addiction, teaching, his near-fatal car accident, rock and roll, ageing – have cropped up in his work over and over, in ways that aren’t always obvious, but often help to drive the story. That’s something every writer can use, because it’s through these truths that real emotions can be writ large on the page.

5. Aim big. Or small

King’s written some mammoth books, and they’re often about mammoth things. The Stand takes readers into an apocalypse, with every stage of it laid out on the page until the final fantastical showdown. It deals with a horror that hits a group of characters twice in their lives, showing us how years and years of experience can change people. And The Dark Tower is a seven (or eight, or more, if you count the short stories set in its world) part series that takes in so many different genres of writing it’s dizzying. When he needs to, King aims really big, and sometimes that’s what you have to do to tell a story. At the other end of the spectrum, some of King’s most enduring stories – Rita Hayworth & Shawshank Redemption, The Mist – have come from his shorter works. He traps small groups of characters in single locations and lets the story play out how it will. The length of the story you’re telling should dictate the size of the book. Doesn’t matter if it’s forty thousand words or two hundred, King doesn’t waste a word.

6. Write all the time. And write a lot

King’s published – wait for it – 55 novels, 11 collections of stories, 5 non-fiction works, 7 novellas and 9 assorted other pieces (including illustrated works and comic books). That’s over a period of 41 years. That’s an average of two books a year. Which is, I must admit, a pretty giddying amount. That’s years of reading (or rereading, if you’re as foolishly in awe of him as I am). But he’s barely stopped for breath. This year has seen three books published by him, which makes me feel a little ashamed. Still, at my current rate of writing, I might catch up with him sometime next century. And while not every book has found the same critical and commercial success, they’ve all got their fans.

7. Voice is just as important as content

King’s a writer who understands that a story needs to begin before it’s actually told. It begins in the voice of the novel: is it first person, or third? Is it past or present tense? Is it told through multiple narrators, or just the one? He’s a master at understanding exactly why each story is told the way it’s told. Sure, he might dress it up as something simple – the story finding the voice it needs, or vice versa – but through his books you can see that he’s tried pretty much everything, and can see why each voice worked with the story he was telling.

8. And Form is just as important as voice

King isn’t really thought of as an experimental novelist, which is grossly unfair. Some of King’s more daring novels have taken on really interesting forms. Be it The Green Mile’s fragmented, serialised narrative; or the dual publication of The Regulators and Desperation – novels which featured the same characters in very different situations, with unsettling parallels between the stories that unfolded for them; or even Carrie’s mixed-media narrative, with sections of the story told as interview or newspaper extract. All of these novels have played with the way they’re presented on the page to find the perfect medium for telling those stories. Really, the lesson here from King is to not be afraid to play.

9. You don’t have to be yourself

Some of King’s greatest works in the early years of his career weren’t published by King himself. They were in the name of Richard Bachman, his slightly grislier pseudonym. The Long Walk, Thinner, The Running Man – these are books that dealt with a nastier side of things than King did in his properly attributed work. Because, maybe it’s good to have a voice that allows us to let the real darkness out, with no judgments. (And then maybe, as King eventually did in The Dark Half, it’s good to kill that voice on the page … )

10. Read On Writing. Now

This is the most important tip in the list. In 2000, King published On Writing, a book that sits in the halfway space between autobiography and writing manual. It’s full of details about his process, about how he wrote his books, channelled his demons and overcame his challenges. It’s one of the few books about writing that are actually worth their salt, mainly because it understands that it’s about a personal experience, and readers might find that useful. There’s no universal truths when it comes to writing. One person’s process would be a nightmare for somebody else. Some people spend years labouring on nearly perfect first drafts; some people get a first draft written in six weeks, and then spend the next year destroying it and rebuilding it. On Writing tells you how King does it, to help you to find your own. Even if you’re not a fan of his books, it’s invaluable to the in-development writer. Heck, it’s invaluable to all writers.

washingtonpost.com
Opinion | Crucified man had prior run-in with authorities
The gentleman arrested Thursday and tried before Pontius Pilate had a troubled background.
By https://www.facebook.com/pages/Alexandra-Petri/142169029150103

Born (possibly out of wedlock?) in a stable, this jobless thirty-something of Middle Eastern origin had had previous run-ins with local authorities for disturbing the peace, and had become increasingly associated with the members of a fringe religious group. He spent the majority of his time in the company of sex workers and criminals.

He had had prior run-ins with local authorities — most notably, an incident of vandalism in a community center when he wrecked the tables of several licensed money-lenders and bird-sellers. He had used violent language, too, claiming that he could destroy a gathering place and rebuild it.

At the time of his arrest, he had not held a fixed residence for years. Instead, he led an itinerant lifestyle, staying at the homes of friends and advocating the redistribution of wealth.

He had come to the attention of the authorities more than once for his unauthorized distribution of food, disruptive public behavior, and participation in farcical aquatic ceremonies.

Some say that his brutal punishment at the hands of the state was out of proportion to and unrelated to any of these incidents in his record.

But after all, he was no angel.

Both scathing current events commentary and probably the best media writing I’ve seen on Jesus’ death, tbqh.

My self esteem has taken a huge hit since I cut off all my hair and I’m honestly so glad. I have been shattered. I got rid of something I was known for to an extent. I used my hair as a safety net. I let it define me. I relied on it a lot and I got a ton of attention for it. All the people flipping out over it telling me to grow it back just proves what a big deal it was and still is. I am forced to look at myself as a human being and decide who I am. I’m redefining myself. Some people are saying I’m being dramatic and it’s just hair or that I talk about it too much but I think it just shows how much people don’t understand. My appearance is such a huge part of my identity and it’s wrong. It’s harmful to me. I feel so much pressure to look perfect every day and if I don’t I feel like I don’t matter or I’m letting everyone down. Obviously that is so dramatic and not true at all but it’s such a weak spot for me. When people say things like “sorry you look better with long hair” or “you were prettier before” it can hurt me so bad if it’s at the wrong moment. I am so detached most of the time it really doesn’t affect me but if someone catches me in a weak moment it can get to me and bring me down. I’m tired of seeing myself for my outer shell. I’m tired of feeling scared people don’t love me anymore. As if the entire world loved me before anyway omg 🙄😑 the people who are telling me I’m not pretty anymore never loved me to begin with and I don’t want their approval or anything from them really. I need to stop caring about people who don’t know me. Everyone close to me has been SO supportive and encouraging and it’s been so fun. When I’m calm and comfortable and I look at my hair, my natural reaction is pure happiness. There is no fear, no doubt, no questions. I love my hair! If I wanna grow it out later I will but right now I do love it and want to keep it for a while. I only think about growing it out when the desire to please people starts to creep back in. Thoughts of growing it out come from a place of fear and that sucks. This entire new chapter has been about ditching fear and it genuinely has been so positive. There is the negative undercurrent of fear, yes, but it doesn’t negate the good. I want this to stop. People can and will say whatever they want but I’m doing my part to cut off all negativity. My self esteem is more important than random insensitive strangers on the internet who prefer long-haired women. There are so many accounts you can look at if you want some rapunzel chick. I can’t live for other people. Again, it’s not that they don’t love me anymore, it’s that they never did. The people that know me are so supportive because they know it’s not that big of a deal and that I am SO MUCH MORE THAN MY HAIR. But I need to remind myself of that!!!! And it’s time I show that to the world too. I have so much to share, so much I’ve created and so much that I think about and I intend to put that into the world this year. I am actually finding myself for the first time outside of my appearance. I’m seeing myself in a new light. Of course I’ve always been aware of the fact that I’m more than my looks, I consciously understand that but I can actually FEEL it now. I didn’t truly believe it before. I guess what I hope you guys can take away from this is that if people are defining you by something superficial or if YOU are, challenge that. You are more than what people say about you, what you look like, your circumstances, really anything external. You’re so much more. We have to get in touch with our value as humans, feel it, believe it, live it and SHARE it with the world. Confidence comes from knowing you are full of light and goodness and that no one can change that. I’m only sharing myself with safe people, people who know and understand me. I’m going to continue to be myself to the fullest and put myself out there but I’m no longer giving weight to what people think of my appearance. Of course it’s hard but I welcome the challenge. If I like it, that’s all that matters. My happiness is important and so is yours. So anyway I just wanted to update you guys on my life and let you know that recently I’ve been struggling with this but I’m working through it. If it seems like I’m always dealing with something, it’s because I am hahaha. That’s life when you’re in touch with your feelings, it’s not bad! It’s more challenging but WAY more fulfilling at the end of the day. I love feeling my feelings and acknowledging them and dealing with them, I didn’t always do that and my life was nowhere near as good as it is now. Overall I’m happy and very optimistic, I’m working on myself, my relationships, my music and my health and this year is already turning out to be one of the best yet, despite some bumps. Love you guys and hope this helps you understand me a little more 💜

EDIT: I wanna add on to the first thought that I’m glad my self esteem has been shattered. I wrote this in between takes while shooting a cover today and I forgot to finish that idea. I’m glad I’ve been shattered because I was building myself on a flimsy foundation. My infrastructure was so shaky and flawed, I was doing okay but I needed to be rebuilt. Those pieces of me that were clinging to other people’s opinions and approval needed to crumble so I could rebuild into a better, stronger version of myself. This is a theme in my life. Every few years, whatever pieces of me start to go in a bad direction are eventually destroyed and then I rebuild into a better version of myself haha
washingtonpost.com
Opinion | Crucified man had prior run-in with authorities
The gentleman arrested Thursday and tried before Pontius Pilate had a troubled background.
By https://www.facebook.com/pages/Alexandra-Petri/142169029150103

Born (possibly out of wedlock?) in a stable, this jobless thirty-something of Middle Eastern origin had had previous run-ins with local authorities for disturbing the peace, and had become increasingly associated with the members of a fringe religious group. He spent the majority of his time in the company of sex workers and criminals.

He had had prior run-ins with local authorities — most notably, an incident of vandalism in a community center when he wrecked the tables of several licensed money-lenders and bird-sellers. He had used violent language, too, claiming that he could destroy a gathering place and rebuild it.

At the time of his arrest, he had not held a fixed residence for years. Instead, he led an itinerant lifestyle, staying at the homes of friends and advocating the redistribution of wealth.

He had come to the attention of the authorities more than once for his unauthorized distribution of food, disruptive public behavior, and participation in farcical aquatic ceremonies.

Some say that his brutal punishment at the hands of the state was out of proportion to and unrelated to any of these incidents in his record.

But after all, he was no angel.

Your weaknesses are the portal to your strengths. NO ONE WHO’S EVER BEEN STRONG, WAS BORN THAT WAY. you become strong by fighting that person you HATE that resides within you. The one that holds you back. The one responsible for your self sabotage. In order to rebuild yourself into the warrior that YOU are meant to be, you must DESTROY yourself over, and over, and fuckin over until there is NOTHING LEFT TO DESTROY ANYMORE. Only then can you upcycle the remains and recreate yourself into your higher self. The version of you that doesn’t need a fuckin sky daddy or a fuckin professional crowd panderer…. I mean president, to tell you wtf is wrong or right because you have INTEGRITY. The you that DOESN’T need a fuckin girlfriend or fuckin boyfriend to validate your fuckin worth because everyone’s opinion of you is WORTHLESS. The artistic version of you that is passionately perfecting your abilities regardless of how “good” anyone thinks you are at them. The version of yourself that you keep locked away from your vocal cords, tied up and kept in “shut the fuck up” mode that isn’t scared to tell people what the fuck you’re actually thinking instead of what you think that they want to hear and does exactly what the fuck you want to do instead of what you think your parents, your friends, your fuckin lover or any mothafuckin one else wants you to do. THE REAL YOU. That fucker right there, im tryin to rip that fucker out of you with my words right now cuz I’ll roll hard with that fucker. We need more people like the person that is locked up inside of you. Destroy, examine, remember, reconnect, rebuild. This is the essence of living a life in devotion to a life of CONTROLLED CHAOS. To live in the predatory pursuit of coalescence with your ultimate self by harnessing the VICIOUS cycle of SELF IMPROVEMENT AND SELF DESTRUCTION. This is not the only way to unlock yourself tho, there are many. This is what works for me because I developed it through a life of chaos that I have to control. Try my method, or don’t and find your own. Either fuckin way, I am personally setting you up with this as your mission and providing you with a means to AT LEAST get you started. FINALLY. don’t you think its time to stop letting your unjustified self doubt fueled anxiety keep fuckin crippling your mood, actions, and words yet? I ALREADY KNOW THAT THE REAL YOU, YOUR HIGHER SELF, WANTS NOTHING MORE THAN EVER. So hurry the fuck up. You have to BECOME the CHANGE you want to see in the world in order to enact the changes that ALL our hearts and minds desire. It will take a LOT of time, energy and suffering to accomplish this, but once you let yourself out it’s like unleashing the ultimate predator amongst SHEEP.

tl;dr: I love every ‘humans are weird’ and ‘death world earth’ post, if you could tag me I’ll love you forever

Seriously though, I fucking love all of these posts about how wild earth and humans are. We literally seek things out that can kill us and build cities there. If it gets destroyed, oh well, we’ll just rebuild it. We allowed dangerous predators to come near us just because we wanted to pet them. We domesticated animals that were predator species and made them work for us. We can survive absolutely wild temperature ranges and have figured out hacks to survive in all types of climates. We sweat profusely when exposed to high heat and/or high humidity to regulate our internal temperature, we shiver when we’re cold, we have a literal drug built into our bodies that will give us bursts of energy and strength when in danger, we can survive a lot of things that aren’t immediately fatal to us, humans developed a better liver just so we could keep imbibing alcohol (no seriously we did, the fermentation of booze killed a lot of bacteria in water & at points was safer to drink than water and for reals I want to know what idiot stuck their hand in this fermented stuff AND DRANK IT THEN WENT OH THIS IS GOOD HERE TRY THIS), just like… w h a t.

Our planet is wild too - we live next to active volcanoes for the better farmland, we figured out how to use the massive heat to produce energy, we have a lot of major cities on major fault lines - and speaking of that has anyone considered how fucking weird it is that the ground is constantly moving around the globe?!?! - we kinda shrug and board up our dwellings when a hurricane is coming, we rebuild after a tornado flattens everything and we basically just go oh well time to clean up when we crawl out from safe places, there are people who live in extreme climates and have adapted to it, we went from swinging in trees to one of the apex predators, our axis tilts and fucking WOBBLES, we’re exposed to so many different types of cosmic radiation on a daily basis, and we actually use that to see, our local star likes to throw hissy fits once in a while AND WE THINK THE MASSIVELY CHARGED SOLAR SHIT IS FUCKING PRETTY. 

Humans, man. We’re so weird. I love it.

Don’t let go

Fandom: Marvel
Pairings: Steve Rogers x (mutant)reader; Wanda Maximoff x (sister)reader x Pietro Maximoff
Genres: angst, mild fluff
Words: 1.890
Summary: based on an imagine: “Imagine falling for Steve and your siblings, the twins, disapproving” - requested by Anonymous
A/N: To avoid any misunderstandings, all characters are of age. Gif’s not mine.

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Attack On Titan Chapter 91 Thoughts

Hmm, this new series seems pretty interesting.

I mean, World War II inspired settings aren’t original, but World War I is a little rarer, at least… and this Titan thing? We Evangelion now?

Wait.. you’re telling me it’s not a new series?

—–

The truth is, I find this being a sort of “start of a new series” execution of this chapter super interesting because the last chapter felt like the end of a series. I haven’t quite seen something like this done this way before and there is a thematic point to it.

It’s the start of a new, but familiar struggle.

As we basically open up with once again, an Eldian boy looking for freedom.

The enemy is different, but still all the same this time around.

This is a very thematically important chapter because our new children are completely oblivious to the real enemy. They are completely complacent to a regime not very different from the one the walled people were trapped in - and our protagonist Eren was completely unaware of, too.

I think this series would’ve been absolutely mind-blowing to me if I were still a teen and it’s incredibly valuable that it’s so popular and aimed for that audience.

Because I know it would really help me to see the world from a very different perspective. It’s interesting how the anime director Tetsurou Araki said the very same thing in his recent small interview about season 2.

The whole purpose of this chapter is to show how a corrupt leadership controls it’s people. Because we have the context of the previous 90 chapters, what is actually happening here is clear to us, as readers and I think as a teen who didn’t think about or notice these things at all, this would’ve been a incredibly eye-opening chapter.

The main component of it all is ignorance and complacency stemming from it. This chapter finally tells us what “don’t be complacent” truly means in the context of the series. 

It means the ability to look at the society we live in critically. Which is incredibly ironic considering some of Isayama’s words a few years ago. Just goes to show that this kind of “complacency” affects us all and we’re not aware of it until a strong wake-up call.

I’m not from the US, but the patterns of the Trump presidency aim for the same kind of complacency: it aims to shut down any questioning of the decisions the government is making and Gabi has no such ability because she just doesn’t *know* and has been conditioned to not *know*.

The only thing the Eldians on the mainland need is a group of “aware” people, like the Survey Corps were for the people inside the walls - this story tells us to be “aware” and truly look at society.

So hey, the walls probably really do represent society. So, we probably either need to destroy the walls and rebuild them or keep them standing and simply change their shape somehow (so that there are no more Titans in there). Depends on the author’s perspective. 

This is such a valuable story to tell and I don’t think there are many out there.

Gabi and the other children’s wake-up call isn’t going to be pretty, but it might just be the start of the end, as this chapter is - and the biggest thing is that there would be a wake-up call at all. How do you learn the truth and become aware of the flaws of a society if everything is done for those flaws not to come to light?

I just find this chapter so fascinating. This explains basically everything about the Titan Trio and the situation of the Eldians on the mainland even if we only see one shot of Reiner.

It’s the unsettling air of how cheerfully Gabi accepts and talks about all of these things that have caused so much pain to all the cast we’ve seen so far and then there is this unsettling image:

Her eyes tell a lot.

I like Gabi’s character a lot because she clearly is a very strong-willed person, but like all the other children, she is still just a easily-influenced child.

Oh and the chapter answers the question of who the remaining shifters are - therefore Ymir has a much bigger chance of survival and the Coordinate and the memory erasure ability are confirmed to be the same, along with the Reiss family being the Fritz family.  

Reiner and Zeke are on a time limit, but we see Reiner and we’re told both are having successors chosen, so good - those spoilers weren’t true.

Oh and there is a 3-year timeskip, which I’m okay with. The mourning is postponed because the battle isn’t over yet - I’m much more positive we get something by the end of the story instead. You mourn after the battle is over.  

I really, really liked this chapter. Like, really, really, really liked this chapter and I only expected to like it a little.

Dig Down in a story sense

After the drones era, everything has been destroyed. It needs rebuilding, but no one is gonna help… where are you gonna start? How? do you have any faith left in you?
Find it, find a way. Nothing will get better until you find a way.

anonymous asked:

Meihem prompt: When they first realized they were attracted to one another.

It’s instant for him, of course. Like a snap of a finger, the blink of an eye, or the boom after he presses that little red button. But things usually happen instantly for him. He knows he needs to live in the moment because in the very next one he could have a bullet between his eyes or yet another missing limb. Or he could just wind up as a smoking pile of ash.

She doesn’t look like everyone else around them, at least not to him. She wears a big fluffy coat and furry boots and has the cutest pair of glasses perched on her nose. People have been shooting at them and they fight one very skilled and scary sniper, but she still wears those glasses that could be shot off her face or easily taken away or smashed to bits. blinding her. When he first meets her, Jamison instantly notices all of those things, including her folded arms and the pout on her face and the distrust he can practically smell on her. She doesn’t seem to be happy they’re here, him and Roadie, but it doesn’t stop him from taking an instant liking to her because she’s unlike anyone he’s ever seen before. He doesn’t know the cold, doesn’t know her element of choice she uses as a weapon. She’s a mystery, like faraway space or the deep depths of the ocean, or even the snow she can create that he’s never actually felt before.

He’s drawn to her. Instantly.

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Saban’s Power Rangers (2017) Head Canons / Predictions I NEED

Jason x Team

  • Jason tries to motivate the team with his favorite sports movie quotes. At first the others are impressed until Billy starts to Google some of them. Soon his favorite quotes get the team snickering.
  • The more Jason and Zack hang out the more they realized that had they met at a younger age they would have been inseperable.
  • Jason asks Trini for girl advice; sometimes she has wonderful pearls of wisdom. Other times her replies are “I don’t get girls either bro.”
  • Jason spent Friday with Billy watching Dragon Ball Z and spent that weekend marathining it. Mainly so he could connect with Billy (that’s a lie he loved it and needed more.)
  • Jason and Kim tend to disappear at oddly the same time during training or group hangouts. Only to return with smirks and the whole team just knows.

Trini x Team

  • Trini is the queen of the group chat jokes. Her sarcastic remarks mid class cause the team to collect detentions because of cackles. She does it to ensure more hang out time with them.
  • Trini and Kim bonded over stoner comedies like Cheech and Chong, Harold and Kumar and such. They pop popcorn, Zack sometimes pops by if they want some snacks and gets bored and leaves. They also love shows like Parks and Recs, Broad City and Brooklyn Nine Nine.
  • Trini and Zack play Dare or Eat. They have to do a dare or eat some weird food combination; like pickles and ice cream or their favorite food but with too much salt/ect. Both trying to see who says “No fuckin’ way!” first.
  • Trini and Billy bonded over comic books. Trini loves DC and Billy loves Marvel. They either trade what they have collected or send links to Amazon Deals on their favorite trades.  Instead of being two fans at each other’s throats over silly “this is better because” they both value the other’s opinions.
  • Trini always tries to get Jason to do another prank. But eventually she ends up having heart to hearts with him. They both talk for hours over a few stolen beers a fire and some s’mores. After a few he usually gushes about Kim and after a few she gushes about her new crush. Then they as people who drink talk about being so little in the universe and other things that people think are “mind blowing!”

Zack x Team

  • Zack always brings snacks or cooks. Especially when he gets the “Can’t today I’m not feeling so hot.” text.
  • Zack and Jason shared a couple beers and watched “Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogeloo” on STARZ. Their inside joke is trying to out “break dance” each other. Most of the time ending in three other rangers laughing hysterically.
  • Zack once the culinary bug bit him he started to bug Trini. He wanted to know her family’s secret recipes. Only to be told that they were not as good but he should keep trying. (No one cooks better than anyone’s grandmother, we all know this.)
  • Zack and Billy found an old PlayStation2 and brought it home. They both had looked around and shared their favorite style games. Zach loved Tony Hawk while Billy loved RPGs. Soon they both sook out other games and would spend hours talking ‘classic’ game.
  • Zack and Kim share music, trade their CDs. They share their Spotify/Pandora playlist. It’s usually just a ‘Hey what’cha listening to know?” text. Zack is still not ready to sing at Karaoke night but maybe soon. He needed to learn the lyrics because he hated failing.

Billy x Team

  • Billy always suggests movie nights and his father had quite the collection of amazing pop cultural gold movies. Jason likes to do out of context movie quotes to get the others to smirk.
  • Billy and Trini always test their “civilian powers” sometimes they race each other. Sometimes they see who can ‘leap the tallest building.” They have a lot of in-jokes as they still both feel like loners.
  • Zack and Billy bake things because baking is more like chemistry while cooking is a bit ‘wild.’ They both team up to make the team birthday or anniversary cakes. Billy always asks how to be more confident. Zack smiles and reassures Billy that he is doing fine.
  • Kim since day one was very protective of Billy. Not because of his autism but because she felt a mighty need to rise him up. She would rather take the licks of a battle so Billy could arise and show his true potential.
  • Jason even though not as tall; his personality towered over Billy. But Jason was protective of everyone. But something about Billy made him feel like a true brother. Soon the three Jason, Zack and Billy would become the best of brothers and they would all support and protect each other in a time of need.

Kim x Team

  • When Kimberly is bored she sings softly. Sometimes she forgets people are around her. Jason always listens. Trini chuckles but only because it has become sort of a meme in the whole group.
  • Kim was always attentive to Billy. She liked when he rambled or his conversations went way far south of their destinations. She loved his passion and was slightly jealous of it as well.
  • Zack always asks about her heritage and cuisine as they are both fellow Asian. They have that connection even though he is Chinese and she is Indian but they were still Asian. Nothing would break that bond. They also shared a made-up languge they created just to tease the gang.
  • Kim had dated a guy Jason knew prior to her “downfall.” But they were nothing alike. It wasn’t like she went from a sedan to another sedan. She upgraded when she had at first befriended Jason and then soon became more. The way he held her made her feel safe and in his weak moments he felt safe with her holding him.
  • Kim and Trini continue to Snapchat each other with filters and silly text. They were the only two on the team to ‘fully embrace’ the trend. But their ‘stories’ always had at least one other ranger. Plus it helped them pick their outfit of the day.

WHAT I WANT IN A SEQUEL

  • Krispy Kream is destroyed and refuses to rebuild. But a jovial entrepreneur Ernie builds a Youth Center/Juice Bar.
  • Two new students transfer to Angel Grove, Farkas Bulkmeier and Eugene Skullovitch. They quickly bond in their disdain of Angel Grove’s five delinquents and their obsession of unmaking these new superheroes dubbed the Power Rangers. Misadventures ensue.
  • Zack meets Angela; a trans girl he falls for.
  • Tommy Oliver is a new student from Arizona. She left her Native American Tribe (As a white guy I’ll take any advice) because her parent’s hated Arizona and wanted to move to the better Angel Grove.
  • Rita lands on the moon then is revived by her master Lord Zedd. I want him to look grotesque and sound terrifying. I want them to send more monsters with stupid names. Possible montage of fight/zord/megazord fights.
  • Evil Native American Tommy is Major Villain until Rita and Zedd are stopped.
  • More Jason x Kimberly kissed.
  • Tommy as the End Credit becomes good. Falls for Trini.
  • Uncle Steve teaches Kimberly to fly/make her want to be a pilot and travel the world.
  • Jungle Karma Pizza reference.