destroy your reputation

Run from what’s comfortable. Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious. I have tried prudent planning long enough. From now on I’ll be mad.
—  Rumi
Run from what’s comfortable.
Forget safety.
Live where you fear to live.
Destroy your reputation.
Be notorious.
I have tried prudent planning long enough.
From now on I’ll be mad.
—  Rumi
The "Steal from my Program, I destroy your reputation" revenge.

(warning: long story)

While this is my main account, I dont think anyone who cares about me IRL that matters in this case is aware of what I have done. This story goes back to my college days.

Back in the late 00’s I was a student in a small college near a city. I was like most other students, idealistic, a slacker, and a tryhard about a few things. I really loved music in particular. Well, as the decade was winding down, my university swapped presidents. The previous one had been perceived as odd and weak and old. They replaced him with an Irish descended lawyer.

Now this guy was the epitome of the creepy, slimy car salesman. Short but burly, former boxer I think. Loud mouth, lots of bragging too. Liked “the ladies of the university” despite his marriage and their age. Lots of promises, little delivery and most of all, almost no principles other than lets raise money and put it towards “development”. One of his ideas was to take a trust fund specifically for the Music department and raid it for over 50% of its original value , leaving the balance at under 3% of the original value.

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Rumi quotes for the signs (based on people I know)
  • Aries: "Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing/and rightdoing there is a field./I'll meet you there./When the soul lies down in that grass/the world is too full to talk about."
  • Taurus: "Why should I be unhappy? Every parcel of my being is in full bloom."
  • Gemini: "Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion."
  • Cancer: "Forget safety./Live where you fear to live./Destroy your reputation./Be notorious."
  • Leo: "Don't be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth."
  • Virgo: "Very little grows on jagged rock./Be ground. Be crumbled./So wild flowers will come up/Where you are./You have been stony for too many years./Try something different. Surrender."
  • Libra: "Ignore those that make you fearful and sad, that degrade you back towards disease and death."
  • Scorpio: "When someone beats a rug, the blows are not against the rug, but against the dust in it."
  • Sagittarius: "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."
  • Capricorn: "Nothing can nourish the soul but light."
  • Aquarius: "When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy."
  • Pisces: "Don't grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form."
Here is a thing that is excellent about sex work

It’s a big part of the accessibility of the industry generally, and one of the pragmatic reasons that fighting lateral whorephobia is so important.  

You always, to a greater or lesser extent, have the ability to change the way you work.  Which is not to say that all changes are equally feasible for all workers at all times (that obviously being impacted by the sorts of privilege to which one has access), but the pool of sex work is exponentially larger than that of most civilian fields.  

If you’re a nurse, and you fuck up in some way, you might have your license revoked and never be allowed to nurse again at all.  Or you might simply destroy your reputation and have no way to access a clean slate.  With sex work, a change of scenery, a change of hair, or even just a change of stage name, and bam, you can be right in the land of “if only I knew then what I know now.” You can raise your rates, you can lower your rates, you can change what services you offer and to whom.  There’s no limit to how many times you can do this, at least as far as the general market goes.  (Gosh, even if your goal is to work in one specific venue and you blow it, a couple of years later it’s  likely that the entire staff will have turned over.) You can be a dancer today and a fetish worker a year from now and an agency escort last month, and maybe do a bunch of those things at the same time. Far more so than other fields, you can do the thing that best meets your particular needs in a particular moment. 

And what this does, contrary to the a lot of the weird aspirational blogging about carefully crafting your persona that’s going around, is give you time.  As long as you have enough to meet your needs right now, you can always figure out how to optimize tomorrow.  

What I’m saying is: don’t fucking shit on people for not businessing the way you business.