Its so hearbreakingly beautiful. It drowned me in the feels and it resuscitated me. And now I exist in a place where all I feel is Destiel.


I feel very attacked right now omg

Dean falls asleep with Cas’ fingers sliding over his back. It’s become a ritual, Dean flopping down on the bed, Cas sitting down next to him to massage the day’s ache out of his muscles. But inevitably, the massage turns to a tender caress as Dean slips into sleep, Cas’ long fingers gliding instead of digging. Dean doesn’t seem to mind.

Dean drifts in and out of consciousness, enjoying the security in the weight of Cas’ hand. But he never notices the patterns Cas is drawing, the careful design Cas creates as he connects Dean’s freckles in invisible lines.

Over the countless nights they spend like this, Cas creates an entire night sky over Dean’s body, drawing constellations into that expanse of skin. He builds a universe all his own, creates the stories that go along with each figure, great legends of bravery and undying love.

Dean lies there, softly snoring, sometimes smacking his lips, completely oblivious.

Until one night, he doesn’t.

“What’re you doing, Cas?” Dean mumbles into his pillow.

Cas is caught so off guard that he just answers honestly. “Drawing constellations.”

Dean doesn’t bother to lift his head out of his arms. “Feels like you know what you’re doing. Have you done this before?”

“Yes,” Cas answers, relieved that Dean doesn’t sound shocked or angry.

After a few seconds, Dean rolls to his back, giving Cas his bare chest and stomach. “And what are these constellations?” He’s groggy, but still amused.

Cas grins, then drags his finger over a cluster of freckles on Dean’s rib cage. He starts talking, telling Dean his made up stories. Dean laughs, a deep rumble that tickles into Cas’ fingers and works its way up Cas’ arm and into his chest.

“This is what you do when I’m asleep? Should I be worried that you not only have my freckles memorized, but that you’ve turned them into a solar system?”

Cas’ stomach sinks. “I’m sorry. I suppose it is a little strange.” He pulls his hand away, embarrassed and a little nervous.

Dean leans up and grabs it, pulls Cas’ hand back down to his chest, right over his heart. “I was just teasing, Cas.”

Dean pulls him down into a deep kiss, turning so that they are both on their sides, totally tangled in each other.

Cas sighs into Dean’s mouth with relief that he can go on living in the magical galaxy that is Dean Winchester.

No but just imagine…

They are about to go on a difficult hunt, that might cost their lives and all, and then the night before Dean and Cas are in the library with the radio on, and start some slow song, and Dean is just like ‘fuck it’, and take Cas’s hand and tells him “let’s dance”, and Cas is like “What? Dean I don’t know how to do this” but Dean says “so just move”. Dean puts one hand on Cas’s back and the other still honding his hand, Cas does the same. At some point Dean closes his eyes and one single tear escapes. Their bodies were close, they were breathing the same air, and when the song ends Cas just tightens his grip on Dean, and they continue to move slowly, because if something happened the next day, they had this moment.

I just discovered that I want this to happen

  • The Winchesters before: *would make up elaborate lies to protect their identities and went to extreme lengths to stay away from any confrontation.*
  • The Winchesters now: That's the king of hell, an angel, a witch, god left us, and you're pregnant with the devil's baby.
“I Love You.” “I Know.”

Summary: Dean Winchester has been unexpectedly gone for a week and Castiel is practically losing his mind with worry. When the hunter and the angel reunite things get pretty intimate…

Pairing: Destiel

Word Count: 398

Warnings: Fluffy fluff

A/N: This is not my original prompt. Credit to whoever posted this amazing idea. 

Originally posted by mishasaurus

      “Come on, Dean. Come on!“ Cas said under his breath as he continued to pace throughout the empty room. The hunter had been gone for a week without a single notion that he was still alive. He had told Cas that he had some “personal business” to take care of and he’d be back in a day. Well so far Cas had called Dean thirty times within the last hour, each one disregarded and gone straight to voicemail.

     Cas moved to sit down on a nearby couch to take a deep breath. Except in this current situation inhaling and exhaling was causing more worry as the angel began to wring out his tie. “Oh god what if Dean is hurt? Or unable to call for help? What if he needs me but has no way to reach me? He could be dead already!” Dean was his everything. Cas had risked his everything to save. That green-eyed sex god was just too irresistible. How could Cas not fall in love with him? If Dean was gone…

     Footsteps at the door shook Cas out of his thoughts. He stood up quickly but tried not to get his hopes up. It could be Sam just coming back from a case. Despite all of these thoughts, Cas practically bolted towards the knock at the door. He flung the door open to see his Dean on the other side, beaten up and bloody. “Cas-” Dean brokenly tried to get out a word but was interrupted when Cas crashed his lips onto Dean”s. Dean just took the flustered angel into his arms and ran his hands through his dark hair. Castiel moved his mouth and Dean felt tears on his cheeks. The thought of his precious angel crying made his own eyes start to tear up but Dean just simply squeezed them tightly and deepened the kiss.

     They both came up for air and it took all the breath left in him to say, “Cas, I love you.” Castiel’s eyes moved back and forth across Dean’s face and his fingers traced his cheek lightly. “I know.” he whispered.  

     Dean heard the flutter of wings and Cas was gone. He blinked in disbelief. “Ahem.” Dean whirled around to see Sam standing just outside the doorframe, smirking. “Sammy,” Dean said his eyes practically glazed over. “The dude just Han Solo’d me.

(If you listen closely, in the distance you can hear Sam Winchester screaming “I SHIP IT!!” as he frantically runs away from Dean yelling at him to shut up.

Dean wants to cry when he sees Cas’ broken wings for the first time.

He remembers what the shadows of those wings looked like before, huge and majestic, terrifying in their awesome power.

And when he sees them broken, he wants to cry. But he doesn’t want to cry for all that Cas has lost. He wants to cry for all that Cas still is. He’s still strong and steady, still noble and loyal, more powerful than he ever was as an angel because now he knows what it is to love.

Dean wants to cry because Cas’ broken wings are more precious to him than Castiel’s whole ones could ever be. And he wants to cry because he doesn’t have the courage to make sure Cas knows that.


Dean literally brought me to tears. I wasn’t expecting the writers to ACTUALLY show dean grieving for Cas. I didn’t know how much I needed it. Seeing him pray to Chuck and break down IS SO IMPORTANT and i want to protect him and… His FACE WHEN HE BURRIED CAS LIKE he just looks like he’s so tired and sad and I just…

First Impressions: 1x02

I just can’t.

This episode opens with Sam by Jess’ grave, flowers in hand and he says this:

Sam: I should’ve protected you. I should’ve told you the truth.

And all I can see is…

Originally posted by subcas

Originally posted by unicornmish

Originally posted by greatest-dad-of-con

Originally posted by spn-traxx

Originally posted by fangirlofeverythingme

And it hurts too damn much. 

You should’ve told him, Dean. If you’d only told him the truth

Because you tell the people you love that you love them before it’s too late. 

If you had done that, then perhaps perhaps perhaps…

Supernatural 08x01 and Prolonged Purgatory

Part of Falling Deeper in Love with Supernatural, Episode by Episode

Before I get into an intertextual analysis of “We Need to Talk About Kevin” and the book/film the episode’s title references, there are two pieces of miscellanea about this episode that I cannot ignore.

1. Kevin Tran is officially the best ever in this episode. The manner in which he uses his wiles to outsmart Crowley on multiple occasions will never cease to put a smile on my face. Nor will the way in which Osric Chau perfectly delivers one of my favourite lines in the entire series.

What’s going on?

There’s a demon in you, and you’re going to your safety school.

2. Season eight is well-loved in certain circles for being perhaps the queerest season ever. Season twelve competed for that distinguished honour but - holy hell - this episode is one of those ones I want to thrust in the face of folks who deny that there is any LGBTQ subtext in Supernatural. Because this episode - it’s a treasure trove of Ho Yay! Moments.

(all gifs from @deanfightswithmonsters)

Including Spanky the Demon, the one who uses too much teeth.

Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, onto the relationship between 08x01 and its titular material. There are those occasions in Supernatural where the references are clear: “Jus in Belo” is an homage to Assault on Precinct 13, “Stuck in the Middle (With You)” is a love letter to Tarantino, “Appointment in Samarra” directly connects to the Talmudic tale and its many retellings. Songs not only work within the show’s soundtrack to shape its mood and tone, but often find their way into episode titles. These gestures are not meaningless.

But that is not to say that every allusion is equal - some are gestures rather than directives. “We Need to Talk About Kevin” falls in this category, in my opinion. There’s of course a superficial reference there - Kevin Tran’s importance continuing to assert itself over the course of Season 8. Sam’s neglect and abandonment of Kevin is indeed something a resurrected Dean forces him to confront.

But there are many ways to say Kevin will play a central role in this season’s arc that do not reference another work of art. The book the episode is named after was published in 2003; the film adaptation in 2011 (a year before this season). It is wholly possible that the writers did not intend to engage with this source material at all, but that will not stop my little meta brain from insisting otherwise.

I admit - I have not read Shriver’s book, but I have watched (and loved) Lynne Ramsay’s adaptation. The plot centers around Eva Khatchadourian and her struggles to cope with horrific violence perpetrated by her teenage son, Kevin. It is a story of trauma, guilt, loss, pain that unfolds in fragments - Eva’s memories of the past haunt her in the present. It is a tragedy about a fractured family - about psychological damage - about keeping secrets - about avoiding unpleasant and frightening truths. Its title insists it is necessary to confront a problem of which we’d rather not speak.

Intentional or not, 08x01 shares all of these elements. Both center around protagonists enduring a sort of prolonged Purgatory - one where the past hangs heavy over their heads, where a state of suffering persists through the endurance of painful memories of trauma and loss. Like the film, much of its narrative is told in flashbacks - a device that would be employed in nearly every episode of the first half of Season 8. In fact, Season 8 almost contains more flashbacks than the previous seven seasons combined.

The question is: why?

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Thoughts on 12x20: Season 12 as a Year Long Lesson in Teaching Dean There is an “I” in Team Free Will.

Oh 12x20. I really loved you for so many reasons. All of the parallels between Max and Dean that made my little bi!dean heart nearly explode. The perfect execution of the cell phone as symbol for Dean’s attempts (mostly thwarted) at honest communication. Yet another episode that directly references a revered part of canon in precisely the right way.

Originally posted by castielsassqueen

But something that I especially adored about this episode was how it made good on writing gestures throughout the season.

Because this has been a season of Dean being as emotionally open as we’ve ever seen him - and yet - how desperately he clings onto being part of a team, a member of a family - how deeply he craves consensus.

The episode thus far that we have seen employ “I” statements without shame is in a horrible context - as he slowly loses himself in “Regarding Dean.” This has been as a season that has given me all. the. feels., but Dean’s pep talk to himself in front of the mirror will forever haunt my dean!girl nightmares, waking me from otherwise peaceful slumber at 3 AM as I worry about my boo.

Originally posted by fuckingpandafangirl

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