desperately even

9

skam season three + text posts

AUs no one asked for
  •  I’m sleeping over at my friend’s flat from university after study group and just got woken up in the middle of the night by their roommate, who is sitting in the kitchen, listening very loudly to the dirty dancing soundtrack and crying. Like wtf, I didn’t even know they had a roommate and normally I would yell at you but damn you are cute. You really need to stop tho dude, its 4am, some people in this house want to sleep AU
  • I am a barista and you are a customer who comes in every day and orders the same thing and today my friend brought you with them, I didn’t even know we had mutual friends and WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT IS NOT ACTUALLY YOUR NAME HAVE I REALLY BEEN WRITING A NAME THAT IS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO YOURS ON YOUR CUPS FOR OVER HALF A YEAR WHY HAVE YOU NEVER CORRECTED ME AU
  • The house party me and my friends threw kinda escalated and after throwing out everyone I found this half naked person passed out in my bed but I can’t be bothered to wake them up now so I’m just gonna go to sleep and deal with it in the morning, they are kind of cute anyway AU
  • (or alternatively) I just woke up in a stranger’s bed and I’m half naked, I cant remember anything about yesterday besides that the party was great and that I got absolutely wasted AND OH MY GOD THERE IS A HOT PERSON NEXT TO ME IN BED AND THEY ARE NOT WEARING MUCH WHAT DID WE DO YESTERDAY AU
  • You are my new coworker and I’m pretty sure I’ve never met you SO WHY ARE YOU LOOKING SO FAMILIAR FUCK I THINK YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE ANGSTY EMO KIDS I USED TO STALK BACK IN THE MYSPACE DAYS I CANT BELIEVE THIS AU
  • We work out at the same gym and you are my declared rival because we have the same workout routine and you are always better than me and on my way to the locker room I passed you in the shower where you were singing the opening of hannah montana and I can still hear you and you switched to the lion king now and even though I hate you I think I am kind of in love with you AU
  • I’m hiding in the bathroom of a restaurant from a spectacularly awful tinder date and you are in a similar situation because a guy at the bar just won’t stop hitting on you and now we are planning an epic escape together even though we only met ten minutes ago AU

okay but while we’re talking about even being Extra™️, we have to address that kosegruppa meeting and the fact that literally nothing will ever be funnier than how transparently even was just there to meet isak

here he is arriving, being greeted by vilde and the girls

and okay, nothing really amiss, just a nice profile view while he bounces on his heels adorably and lets vilde give her welcome spiel, all v cute and polite

but then, less than one second later

he starts clocking the crowd to see if isak did in fact show up

ah. there he is.

only one thing to do: turn your head as far as you can to see him while still technically only looking out of the corner of your eye for the ~nonchalant effect. if you’re feeling really fancy, maybe throw in the Jaw Thing™️ to show off your ¾ profile, and also so you don’t grin like a fool and give the whole game up

and then alright fast forward a bit. even refocuses on vilde enough to grab a delicious-looking roll, and he makes it up the stage steps to take a seat without doing anything totally obvious or desperate like brushing against isak’s leg or leaning forward to whisper something to him or anything. looks like we might be back on the cool track!

oh wait

what’s this you say? a group exercise about feelings and holding hands?

better stand in place and stare at him for a good two seconds while you mentally chart out the most direct yet suave route that will ~conveniently leave the two of you, wow, standing next to each other? oh my gosh how did that happen?? guess we’ll just have to hold hands now, don’t ask me, i don’t make the rules here ;)

in summary: even bech næsheim went to kosegruppa to do two (2) things, 1) eat fresh-baked bread and 2) finally make a move on Cute Boy, and he finished that roll a long ass time ago

okay but what if jungkook used to tease jimin by not calling him ‘hyung’ because he wants Jimin to see him as someone equal as him not as the youngest member in the group, because he don’t want jimin to love him as a baby brother he don’t want jimin to love him because he is cute and because he is the youngest among them, because he wants jimin to see him as a man that he could love and could love him back too so thats why he always making fun of Jimin also thats why jungkook works out a lot because kids are not supposed to have muscles right? kids are not supposed to look sexy right? that way maybe his jimin hyung will look at him as a man

6

Joking around (in the kitchen)

  • “I could have joked about a dick.”
  • “When you’ve found the man of your dreams and he likes Gabrielle..”
  • “As long as you’re smiling and wearing clothes…”

Ahh what can be better than hurting yourself with your own art