desorientation

Coming To My Senses

Originally posted by iconicbellarke

Anonymous Requested: I have this idea: Bellamy and the reader were very close but they fought about his mission in Mount Weather and she was super angry at him but she was hurt in bombing in Tondc and she was in coma for couple of days. And when she wakes up she is very desorientated but it’s the moment when everyone are back. So some emotional reunion, angst and stuff? Thanks!

Pairing: Bellamy x Reader

Warnings: none.

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED!


You felt yourself snap awake, as if you’d woken up from a nightmare. Your body burned with pain and the memory of where you were was gone. You blinked, staring up at the ceiling before in dazed confusion. Slowly, you set your hands beside you and pushed up groaning out in pain. Your eyes felt heavy but it felt like you’d been asleep for hours, days even. Finally you sat straight up and surveyed your surroundings, despite your confusion you knew enough to know you were in your bedroom on the Ark.

Your eyes fell to the person sat beside your bed, who was asleep and recognized him to be Bellamy. Your eyes widened in surprise, the memory of him last flooding into your mind and the last conversation you’d ever had with him had been when he told you he was going undercover into Mount Weather. Your head hurt as you thought about the argument that had befallen between the two of you, and how exactly he was beside you right now.

“Bellamy?” Your voice somehow seemed to snap the boy right awake, and with a jerk he sat up to face you. Bellamy’s face fell with a mixture of surprise and relief and the sight of you and without thinking his hand reached out to grasp your own. With narrowed and confused eyes, you stared at the boys darker ones. “Bellamy? What’s happening? How- How are you here?”

“You were in a coma.” Bellamy slowly explained and you felt your body freeze - what? “Back in TonDC, a bomb went off… Octavia found you in the rubble and you hadn’t woke up since then.”

“A bomb…” Slowly the memory of that flooded in and your eyes widened; “is everyone else okay?”

A smile slip upon Bellamy’s lips as he nodded; “everyone else is okay.” You nodded and silence fell over you two, the unspoken both on your minds. “Y/N,” Bellamy finally spoke. “We won - the battle against Mount Weather, it’s over.”

“And our people?”

“Home.”

Silence fell again as you stared at the side Bellamy’s face, unsure of what to say. It seemed though, you both knew what you wanted to say as you both turned towards each other. Letting out a soft laugh, you scoot forward the best you could, Bellamy helping and pressed a kiss against his temple. “I’m sorry. I should’ve never gotten mad at you like that - you were doing what was best for our people… for me.”

Bellamy smiled gently at your words; “you had every right to be upset.” He squeezed your hand, “I didn’t want to leave you too. Just in case… you know-”

“But you didn’t,” you smiled, “you haven’t.”

A little bit about Anima and who is she

I suppose she is dementor. Yes, like in Harry Potter. Firstly, look at her attack - it looks like she pulls out soul.

Secondly, she shows the most painful Sebastian’s memories: “Lighthouse”, Ruvik, experiments, Debussy’s music (Victoriano loved Clair de Lune). She make it for desorientation of victim, for fear, anxiety. It’s easier to attack. Thirdly, when dementor comes, it’s cold and dark. When Anina comes, terrain colors in cold colors.
Anima isn’t personal demon of Sebastian, she came not only to him, but to other Union citizen too. There’s mo matter to her, who will be her “food”.

Grady Memorial - All that food stuff

I read a theory about the cure that they were trying to find in the hospital and suddenly I was rewatching Slabtown and thinking… why is Dawn SO determinated to make Beth eat? You’d think that it’s because she wants her to raise her debt so she can never leave, or to have more labor to do her stupid slavework, but I think Beth would end up eating something sooner or later, it’s on your survival instinct, and Beth would eat so she’s strong enough to escape.

But… what if they wanted her to eat so she would be quiet?

I’ll try to explain better: maybe they dope their pacients to try experiments with them and to make them docile. Maybe Dawn thought that Beth would be a little troublemaker that refused to “make happy” the officers or to command their orders, so the food would be a good way to calm her down.

And maybe I’m overthinking this whole thing but in Slabtown, when Noah and Beth try to scape through the elevator shaft, she gets to go down with no incident, but Noah falls and hurts his leg. Maybe it was an accident but… what if he fell because of the drugs? That’d explain also why he looked a little bit desorientated when he got out. Yes, I know, it could be because he had been a long long time in Grady and now it was difficult to him to survive on his own, but it could be because he was high. IDK, I’m just guessing.

Besides, in “Coda”, when Beth says “I’m gonna get out just like Noah” and Dawn says something like “They always come back. They say it’s because we caught them first, but it’s because they want to come back”, or something like that, I can’t remember, in that moment I thought: well, it’s true, they get used to have a shelter and food and some kind of a sistem and utility and now they find out that they have to fight and kill to survive and they prefer to be slaves but live in a relative safety.

But what if it was because they were so drugged they couldn’t made it?

And keeping with the “docile” theme… do you remember Joan? That poor girl who was raped over and over again by Gorman - pig - and killed him when she turned to a walker?

I don’t really know how she was, but in that little conversation that her and Beth had, I thought she was pretty rebel. She insulted Dawn and the doctor and was so stubborn that didn’t let them anesthetize her before they cut off her arm. Even Gorman said that she never “colaborated” when he raped her - yes, WHAT A PIG - but then again, maybe that was because she didn’t eat anything either. Perhaps she found out that she was being drugged.

So that’s how they keep them docile: they drug them and abuse them until they’re annulled mentally and emotionally, until they do everything they want… and if they refuse… well, we always have that guinea pig to make them change their minds, right?

In conclussion, I think Beth started eating after her escape attempt becaues she thought that she would keep strong to try again. And that’s why she acted so weird in the MSF, so OOC that she even stabbed Dawn in the shoulder with tiny sccisors. She was so confused that didn’t even think twice about what she was doing. She tried to rebel one more time… and she failed.

Okay, I know it sounds crazy but… I wanted to contribute my two cents and try to explain why she acted so weird and why they were all so stubborn with the food thing. I’d appreciate if someone added anything or contradicted me… I mean, I just want to make this post as good as possible.

I’m the only crazy here? Hahaha

Beth’s alive, I’m 100% sure. But that behaviour in MSF… no, there’s just one possible answer to me: