desire!!!

She spins next to you, grabbing your hand. Then she slips, slips her fingers from yours and into another’s -and you’re not jealous.
Instead you feel some kind of gentle fire inside you, growing stronger as you watch her.
All about her, the dancing, the smiling, the eyes, the movements, the voice. Suddenly all of it fits inside your head in a completely different way.
Suddenly you understand desire in a completely different way.
Each time you try to get closer she responds and follows along, only to leave -playing a game of push and pull without any rules.

When the night reaches its peak, she’s suddenly tangled with you, laughing, as your mouth gets closer to her -millimeter by millimeter, until it brushes with hers,
locks with it,
dances with it
and breaks away.

She leaves still grinning at you, still spinning, still her,
but now you’ve understood something else,
she’s meant to be cracked like a firework and nothing more,
she’s no constant warmth, no safety,
she’s a fire to your insides,
a deadly pleasure that does not last.

La petite mort.

—  LG ; Touches - Casual Encounters #1

To return psychoanalysis to a veridical path, it is worth recalling that analysis managed to go so far in the revelation of man’s desires only by following, in the veins of neurosis and the marginal subjectivity of the individual, the structure proper to a desire that thus proves to model it at an unexpected depth – namely, the desire to have his desire recognised. This desire, in which it is literally verified that man’s desire is alienated in the other’s desire, in effect structures the drives discovered in analysis, in accordance with all the vicissitudes of the logical substitutions in their source, aim, and object.

Lacan - Ecrits, p343.

Znikasz. Takie są oto początki końców. /-hej -hej -pójdę tam i tam, zrobiłem to i to źle się czuję  jak tam? -dobrze wszystko jest dobrze/ Miłych wieczorów. Piękna wymiana informacji. Nie rozmawiamy. Dystansuję się. 

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