2. The Final Runway Show

Look at Tyra conducting her final Top Model symphony. Good to see that she’s cheesy all the way to the last runway show.  It’s also good to see that Kelly Cutrone is continuing to stay true to her goth/witch roots by refusing to wear the white gloves supplied to the entire audience.

Here we are at the Walt Disney Concert Hall for a runway spectacular. Like a true professional, Tyra’s going to do everything she can to make the night about herself, but we’re supposedly here to see the contestants strut the runway. Usually, the first person to walk is the previous cycle’s winner, but this year, Miss J gets the honor.

Admittedly, I’m no runway coach extraordinaire, but is that really how you “own” a runway? Miss J - who I will miss dearly - looks ridiculous. How does he get away wearing shit like that on a show all about fashion? “Who are you wearing, Miss J?” “This quilt dress was designed by Berta, a cashier at Michaels Craft Store in Louisville.”

The other models come out pretending to play string instruments as they walk. All the while, the show generously employs sound effects of thunderous applause and wild cheering from the crowd. It might be a nice touch if you couldn’t clearly see the crowd watching in complete silence. Nice try, though, editors!

There is one model worth clapping for - our resident ham, Devin. “Forget feminism,” Kelly Cutrone declares, as if Devin could singlehandedly kill a social justice movement by stepping in front of Hadassah. Miss J chimes in with a better comment:

After Miss J’s reference to party drugs, Tyra Banks walks out right on cue, with her breasts on full display. She tries to make it sound like a big deal that they chose Los Angeles as the site of the runway show for the first time, even though we all know it’s because they didn’t have the budget to do it in an international city this time. She also shouts out the quintet behind her, saying it’s the first time they’ve had live music at a runway show. Either that’s a diss to 2NE1, the Korean girl group that performed at the show last year, or Tyra’s memory isn’t what it used to be.

Now it’s time for Keith to walk and he’s never looked handsomer than while wearing a gold spike face mask. Okay, I made that up, but clearly they can’t give this guy real clothes. In his next outfit change, his manaconda already wore out the crotch.

Actually, none of these models are wearing real clothes. They’re all wearing absurd, artistic outfits inspired by ANTM. To be honest, I think they’re kind of interesting to look at, but each time someone refers to the getups as “clothes,” I have to snicker.

For example, this is a safety hazard, not a party dress. Hadassah is liable to pop a boob!

They try to edit around the fact that Courtney can’t walk in heels, but she looks nice and strange peering out from behind plumage.

Did Tyra give Stefano a DNA test that found Mexican and Scottish heritage? Because Stefano looks like a piñata in a kilt.

I don’t know what the fuck that is either, but Lacey almost makes it look good, which is to her credit.

OF COURSE they saddle the mullet girl with the most atrocious outfit of the night. I personally think you’re a sweetheart, Ava, but I think we can officially say that Tyra hates you for whatever reason.

Justin, Hadassah, and Bello all sport their ANTM best. Can I mention once again how great it was to not hear a single word from Bello? Seems like the editors realized he wasn’t the fan favorite they thought he’d be and ignored him in the later episodes. Bello just gets in the way, as exemplified in his big scene of the night:

And then we have our finalists. I especially didn’t expect Nyle to win when I saw how lame his costumes are:

Getting caught up in red tape is an expression, not a fashion choice!

To borrow a phrase from Tyra, Mamé looks “fierce” on the runway, but her outfits are laughable. First she’s a human feather duster, and then she has a sparkly gown with a giant, creepy face on it.

If you’ll recall, earlier in the cycle, she wore a swimsuit with a similar face. What is that about? Are faces on your stomach on trend? Or is this some weird Illuminati shit I’m not familiar with?

Still, neither finalist is as good as Devin. Devin pulls his patented “bird of paradise” pose on the runway and I love him for giving this nonsense runway show even more nonsense. I’m sorry for ever doubting you, Devin. If I were a modeling scout, best believe you’d be signed to a seventh agency.

5 Funniest Moments of ANTM Cycle 22 Finale

anonymous asked:

Hello! Thank you so much for putting effort in managing this blog, i could scroll for hours.. youre one of my favorites! May i ask what is your favorite silhouette in a wedding dress? And which are your top favorite dresses/brands? xx

Thanks much! You’re the most kind! :)

My favourite silhouette is Fit and Flare with a really form-fitting bodice. I love dresses that accentuate the figure of the bride, are evenly constructed and have intricate details. Moreover, even though it’s not really a part of the silhouette, but I have a thing for ruffles. And of course, sparkles, bling and crystals are very much appreciated as well.

I have seen a lot of beautiful dresses including those that I haven’t posted here. I haven’t even posted my “most favourite dress” here yet; I should probably do soon. But I actually have a “Top picks” list, and my top pick so far is my icon, the Berta Style 14-15 Wedding Dress with an illusion neckline from their Winter 2014 Collection.

I’ve had the good fortune to try it out of a whim during one of our trips in a bridal salon in Hong Kong. The bodice is just divine. It’s simple but still has a charm that will give prominence to the overall image of the bride. It has that classic, romantic, sexy, yet vintage elegant-look that I immediately fell in love with it. It’s a bit revealing but definitely not tacky. A woman has to have a lot of confidence to pull off such a sophisticated dress. I’m sorry but I feel like I’m not doing it justice because it’s just absolutely stunning. Note: I haven’t seen a full body-shot from my source, but it’s actually a Sheath dress―not a Mermaid or Fit and Flare dress. FYI just in case you’re wondering.

I also adore the Celeste Wedding Dress from Amelia Sposa 2016 Bridal Collection.

It’s not your typical “overly-poofy” princess gown. The lace doesn’t actually “outdate” the dress, but the spectacular detailing furnishes it with a very classy and feminine semblance. Any bride would truly look like a princess in this dress. Uh..what’s that? Did I mention that it has a removable skirt as well? The dress transforms into a sensual curve-clinging silhouette; ideal for those brides who prefer to have different looks at the ceremony and during the reception.

Unique, over-the-top and dramatic dresses are really interesting, but in my opinion, some of them are just good for the eyes. I’m guilty in posting and liking some of those dresses. But dammit, they’re too shiny and pretty! I can’t help it! I prefer a dress that will actually make a woman look and feel like a bride. The bride should be the focal point, and not the dress. And in my opinion, this wedding dress is just perfect for someone who shares the same sentiment.

With bridal designers, I love Lazaro, Pnina Tornai, Michael Cinco, Crystal Design, Berta, Galia Lahav, Gazelle Brides, Eden Haute Couture, Mark Zunino, Dar Sara, Julie Vino, Rami Salamoun and Demetrios and a lot more talented designers whom I feel guilty in not remembering outright.

Note: I do not own any of the images above. Credits to the photos are included on the original posts.

Thank you for your question, anon.