This is how far mankind has evolved; fully grown men who’ve worked their entire lives to become invaluable members of a progressive society, in the blink of an eye, reduced to chasing a wooly remnant. - Dylan Keogh, Casualty S31E21; The Stag, The Dog and The Sheep

So there has been a lot of unrest within the Casualty fandom lately… and seeing as I tend to think in rhyme I decided to write a super cheesy poem to sum up my thoughts on it all.

I present to you… a shoelace mantra XD 

Hey taylorswift this is a project that I made in honour of you coming back to Ireland x This flag is made up of messages from all the people in the #IrishSwiftieSquad I think you follow all of us haha. Everyone that is tagged below love you just as much as me and we all have a message on this flag :) I hope to meet you in Dublin so that I can give you this flag personally but if not I hope I can give it to a musician, or part of your crew so that it will get to you. I love you Taylor and I can’t wait to see you in 13 days :D taylorswift

Alicia - 1989thswiftie
Rosalín - red-lips-and-rosiee-cheeks
Kelly - sojuniorhigh
Reece - tays-sick-beat
Ellen - enchantingtaylor1989
Ornagh - polaroidswift1989
Selena - taylorsirishswiftie
Roisin - irishswifts
Melanie - this-is-getting-good-now13
Suzie - taylorhaimandcats
Nicole - swiftlyirish
Claire - -scarlet-letters
Laurie - lauriestyle
Emily - emilyswift13
Shauna - glowingsinthedark
Dervla - dervlalala
Aislinn - irishswiftieinwonderland
Aoife - taylorismypatronus
Ryan - noiitsbecky
Sophia - sophiapoststhings
Lucy - confettifallstotheground89
Orla - fearlesslyme-13

“Okay, he’s name is Max and he’s a porter here, and there’s a small age gap but we’re very happy.”

“I know that I want to be with you and you want to be with me and I think we could be happy here… Together.”

It’s weird to think at the beginning of the year Zax was slowly becoming non-existent and now they’re moving in together… The writers just got it so right! Plus Dylan and Dervla is a whole different type of pairing in itself and Connie’s hair flip after taking her helmet off was just… SASSY!

who you should fight: casualty edition

Rita Freeman:  Do NOT fight Rita Freeman.  I repeat: do NOT.  This is not a matter of kindness, this is a matter of she will fuck your shit up.  Your sexual organs will end up in your mouth and you will cry.  It does not matter how much training you have had; Rita Freeman has had more.  Best to avoid.

Connie Beauchamp:  You could probably win a fight against Connie if you’d had enough training, but would you want to?  I mean, anything to do with popularity aside, you’d muss up that stunning hair and even if you won the fight you’d probably be put under arrest anyway for the federal crime of ruining Constance Beauchamp’s hair.  Best to avoid. 

Lofty Chiltern:  Honestly why would you want to fight this man.  He hasn’t done anyone any harm.  Also there’s a risk of getting caught in his hair.  Leave him be.

Mackenzie Chalker:  He looks like a tough fight but he really doesn’t want to hurt you.  Stand down.  Don’t fight Big Mac.  You have nothing to prove, and neither does he.  Stand down.

Cal Knight:  You are unlikely to receive opposition for fighting Caleb Knight.  Many would probably pay to see someone win a fight against this man.  Caleb Knight is, however, a tough fight and you may find yourself wishing you had not entered the arena.  Playing up to his insecurities is the best way to win this one.  Just taunt him.  Take caution.

Charlie Fairhead:  He will lock you in his loft and overturn your car whilst you are in it.  A dangerous, feral man who feasts on diesel and bolts to sustain his steel aorta.  Do not fight.  

Dylan Keogh:  It’s not Dylan that’s the problem.  It’s Dervla.  Keep away from Dylan Keogh unless you want a dog to knaw through your ovaries.  Seriously, you’d win the fight against Dylan easy but no human being has ever been known to win a fight against Dervla.  Do not fight.

Ethan Hardy:  Leave this man alone.  He is tiny and his pericardium is probably full of holes by now from all of the times he’s been knocked over.  Also, he wears glasses.  You wouldn’t hit a man with glasses.  You’d win against this man, but the guilt and shame would be great enough to defeat you anyway - and if that didn’t work the combination of a furious Caleb Knight and a furious Lily Chao would.  Leave him be.

Iain Dean:  This man is undoubtedly more trained than you are.  I recommend resorting to the methods of Ethan Rayne ala Rupert Giles.  Get him very drunk and then turn him into a Fyarl demon.  Otherwise, a tough fight.

Kathleen Dixon:  Adversity only makes this woman stronger.  Logic doesn’t work against Ms. Dixon.  She is very good at finding loopholes and also a trained fighter.  Is however asthmatic.  Use this to your advantage.  Not an easy fight.

Lily Chao:  The hardest winnable fight on this list.  Lily Chao is a woman of steel.  Has never been known to fail.  However she has been known to burn out under periods of intense stress.  A tough fight.

Louise Tyler:  The only person who’s ever fought Dylan Keogh and lived to tell the tale, and that’s only because she was dosed on antihistamines and thus impervious to Dervla’s influence.  She will fight anyone.  Take caution.

Max Walker:  You could probably fight Max pretty easily and live to tell the tale, but he has a beautiful soft voice which you would never hear again and he’d thus never release an audiobook, which is unforgivable.  Leave him be.

Robyn Miller:  Why would you do this?  Don’t do this.  Robyn Miller is a cinnamon roll and you don’t even qualify as a problematic fave.  Don’t fight Robyn Miller.  Leave her be.

Tess Bateman:  If Rita Freeman will fuck your shit up, Tess Bateman will FUCK YOUR SHIT UP.  She is iron woman.  She is the nearest thing to Charlie Fairhead that’s not Charlie Fairhead.  She has survived wars (probably).  Do not fight.

Zoe Hanna:  Unknown whether or not fights against Zoe Hanna are now unwinnable.  The quickest way to defeat Zoe Hanna used to be to build a maze of younger men and stick her at the entrance however new reports released state that Miss Hanna is now free from her previous burden of lying sixth formers.  Take caution.

What photos Sophie thinks the characters have on their desks-

Bit of a random idea I had earlier 😁

Connie: Picture of Grace, with two small pictures at the bottom of the frame- one being her and Alfred, and the other being a department photo. She loves her colleagues deep down 😘

Dylan: A big framed photo of Dervla. That’s it. A hairy, grinning Dervla that he smiles at every single time he looks at it.

Zoe: Zoe has a couple of pictures. One of her and Max on a holiday together (in the rain), one of her and Sharice and one of her and Tess on a night out.

Cal: Possibly a family picture- him, Ethan and their mum back when she was in perfect health because he’s a sentimental softie. And a picture of Connie from his uni days when she lectures, but he only keeps that one on show when there’s no-one around.

Ethan: I like to think he has a picture of a night out- either with Lily and Cal, or his “lads night out” with Cal and Lofty.

Lily: A photo of her family, whoever that may be- maybe her mother because she was a strong one and she aspires to be exactly like her.

Robyn: Girls night out with Rita and Louise obviously. She’s red faced and very, very pissed but she still loves it because it reminds her what it feels like to be truly happy. There’s also a framed photo of her and Lofty in a photobooth being ridiculous fools in feather boas.

Lofty: The same photobooth picture of Robyn alongside a selfie stick picture of him, Robyn, Rita, Louise, Tess and Charlie in the staff room- everyone he cares about. With Dylan in the background looking startled as he realises what they’re doing.

Tess: Tess has a few- one of her, Sam and Saskia back when they were both younger on Christmas Day. One of her and Charlie as they attend a nurse’s ball together, dressed up and looking pretty. One of her and her fellow nurses, because she need someone to mother whilst her kids live away. And finally, one of her and Zoe at Tess’ birthday meal.

Charlie: 3 pictures. One of him and Sam, one of him and Tess from that summer when they took Little Abs to the local Chevin for Dixie, and a copy of the department picture because let’s face it, he loves them all wether he likes it or not.

Louise: Her, Noel and Big Mac when they went to a concert. Big Mac had just spilt his beer all down Noel’s front as he tried to get in the picture, and every time she sees it it makes Louise giggle.

Noel: A single photo from a marathon he and Big Mac ran for charity. It’s him, Mac and Honey at the finish line grinning like a bunch of sweaty Cheshire cats.

Big Mac: A selfie from a lads night out with Noel, Max, Lofty and Cal. He only likes it because he looks “incredibly handsome” in that light. Or so he says anyway.

Honey: A selfie of her and Noel on their first “get to know me” outing to the local Zoo. It was only afterwards that they noticed the baboon was photobombing them with its red butt.

Max: A selfie of him kissing Zoe’s cheek, and she blushing the colour of tomatoes. It made her protest but him smile.

Rita: A photo of her and Ash at the last Christmas do. Also, her lock screen is Lofty when he fell over a bucket of sick, with Connie stood behind him looking very disapproving. It’s her favourite photo she’s ever taken but probably not a good choice for a desk pic.

Jacob: He’s still waiting for the perfect opportunity to catch Connie out- so far she’s thwarted every single surprise attempt he’s made to photograph her when he thinks she isn’t looking.