dermatillomania tw

some dermatillomania things
  • bruises on your seatbones/knees from sitting on the tile floor for an hour+ in a weird contorted position to pick
  • sore knees from same thing
  • neck/back HURTING from leaning over the counter w ur back way arched to get up close next to the mirror
  • feet/legs going to sleep or all the way to numb
  • ur whole foot swelling
  • infections
  • cant shave ur legs/armpits without it leading to picking when it starts to grow back etc
  • irrational fears of wounds getting contaminated leading to more picking to “clean” them, a never-ending cycle so far for me
  • going through lotsa witch hazel/rubbing alcohol to sanitize tweezers, pins, nail clippers, etc to avoid infection
  • being a kid who’s spending their allowance on bandaids and coverstick makeup
  • when ur face gets mad and swells a ton around a wound
  • when derma and tritch combine bc of ingrown-ish hairs (see shaving thing)
  • when ur trying to see where ur picking but the damn spot is bleeding and u wipe away the blood so u can see but its bleeding too quick. annoying.
  • bloodstained shirts, inside of bras, towels, bedsheets, etc
  • Needing to pick when ur super stressed. u know it’ll make u feel better short term and worse long term
  • coming to appreciate how calm dissociating is
  • a teacher joking that ur a drug addict bc of scar spots on arms lololol
  • trying to quit for years and years
  • feeling ugly/gross/unclean!!!
  • how much of your TIME while you dissociate+pick this steals from you!
Dermatillomania be like
  • Me: oh a pimple, better put some medicine on that quick-
  • Brain: WAIT!!
  • Me: ?!
  • Brain: you know what would be faster?
  • Me: ?
  • Brain: just scraping it off your face with your fingernails
  • Brain: right now
  • Me: oh my god that makes perfect sense
if you have an excoriation disorder (skin picking)

definitely look into getting hydrocolloid adhesive plasters. you can get them at CVS or Walgreens or even Walmart if you look carefully. they’re blister bandages that can be cut into little squares and put over picked pimples or any small infected wounds (such as cuticles, which I’ve got right now) and left on over night or for a few hours and they draw out infections and protect the wound from getting more germs in it. they’re really easy to use and the results are amazing, plus, they’ll keep you from picking already existing wounds, while helping them heal. if you’re using one on your hands, I recommend putting a bandaid over it just to keep it in place just because your hands move around a lot, but other wise they’re self adhesive and don’t need anything else to hold them on.

they’ve helped me a lot and I haven’t seen much about them anywhere so I hope this post helps some people!!

to all my fellow ppl suffering from dermatillomania:

  • you’re not disgusting
  • try and overcome the urge to pick for as long as possible, and if you really can’t stop yourself then try to hold on a little longer next time, and then longer the next
  • find other ways to keep your hands busy!! there are toys you can buy to fidget with or do something that requires your hands - like drawing or playing a video game
  • please take care of your skin and keep it clean! you don’t wanna get a nasty infection
  • don’t beat yourself up if you promised yourself you wouldn’t pick and you did. i know it’s SO hard and you’re trying your best, that’s all that matters
  • you’re not any less beautiful and people don’t care as much as you’d think
  • you are more than your OCD ❤

I’ve come to realize why it’s so hard to stop picking. this won’t make it any easier to stop picking but at least I’m self-aware. 9/10 times you pick, you leave a mark, it’s red and puffy, bloody, and the pimple comes back in the same spot or around the spot and it could even come back bigger. but that 1/10 time that you pick, you get the best sounding pop, the most satisfying pop, you completely clear the dead skin away, the bump goes away, the black/whitehead goes away, the area looks cleaner and better than it has ever looked. and we crave that feeling of satisfaction every time we think about picking, because we know how good it feels. and although you don’t get that feeling every time you pick because 9/10 times the picking isn’t successful, eventually that feeling will come back and you will crave it even more. picking appears worth it because of that one successful pop that you know will come eventually, you just have to be patient and deal with the scars and the bleeding and the embarrassment and the comments.. because it’s all worth it for that one pop, right?

derma tw

people who say “don’t romanticize x!” to people making positivity posts seem to have a mindset of like… the people being positive are either faking or not bad enough to be acceptable.

they don’t realize that people can simply view things differently and that some of us benefit from such uplifting posts

like I’ll say people with derma are beautiful and deserving of love and cool. and I’ll say that derma is rad. and someone will come along with a “well actually” as if I don’t know what derma is like. as if my nails aren’t always fractured into pieces. as if I don’t peel away layers and layers and always have a swollen digit and a bleeding nail and wearing shoes always hurts.

I don’t want to feel negative all the time and I don’t want to feel like a freak. that doesn’t mean I’m faking or anything like that. it just means I treat my disabilities this way and I take a less serious view when talking publicly. I want to be allowed to do that without white knights and members of the community saying “your way is wrong and you’re a fake.”

therapies exist, but disabilities never go away. they’re part of people. they can wane and they can fade into the background. they can be coped with and improved. but they can’t be gotten rid of, and I am not going to treat mine like burdens. they cause me many struggles. but I’m always going to look positive, or at least say positive things.

nobody else needs to share this mindset. they just need to respect it, and it’s sad that many don’t.

Little dermatillomania things: oh god my skin is too rough. Oh god my skin is too dry. Oh god my skin is too oily. Oh god this freckle is slightly raised off of the rest of my skin. Oh god my skin is red. Oh god is that a PORE? A SCAB? A PIMPLE? A FUCKING TINY SKIN FLAKE?

*exfoliates, wipes with oil remover pads, scratches entire top layer of skin off, attempts to fix every pore, exfoliates again, steams face with hot water, exfoliates again, scratches some more, squeezes every inch of skin, exfoliates…*

*an hour later, looking basically the same but with more blood, more redness, and sore hands* I am now gorgeous

Am I the only one with derma that does this shit? I do pick, but I mostly just obsess over how my skin feels and scan it for imperfections constantly. It’s like a cleanliness thing. I need to feel clean and I just feel gross with any dead skin, oil, or pores showing on my skin. Especially my face :s