derek's point of view

Of Cows & Crushes

Wishing a very happy birthday to the amazingly talented, absolutely wonderful Kris ( @anamelesstraveler )! I am so lucky to be able to call you my friend, and I hope you have had an amazing birthday!

I wrote you some McHaleinski, because I was thinking about a scenario where Scott, Stiles and Derek would all need to be riding in the front seat of a truck, and then I started thinking about Large Animal Vet!Scott, and then @authorkurikuri wrote me an amazing fic yesterday with Vet!Scott and I knew it needed to happen. So, while this sadly does not have any McHaleinski riding in the front seat of a truck, it does have Dairy Farmer!Derek, Vet!Scott, and Librarian!Stiles (who is not doing anything related to his job whatsoever in this fic). 

Tags: Farm/Ranch AU, needles mention (Scott gives some cows vaccinations), brief mention of injuries on a horse

Derek’s walking the fence line when he hears the unmistakable sound of a diesel engine, probably half a mile away. It’s most likely Deaton, he’s supposed to be coming today to check on a couple of pregnant cows, vaccinate some calves, and inspect the injuries on his quarter horse Ollie’s hind legs from some old barbed wire he got tangled in last week. With his dog Bud on his heels he cuts across the pasture, wiping the sweat off his forehead with the bottom of his tank top. The July sun seems hotter than it’s ever been, the heat bugs buzzing obnoxiously beneath his feet. As much as he likes Deaton, along with the vet comes a hefty bill, and milking cows doesn’t exactly a millionaire make. Not that there’s any place else on earth he’d rather be than on his farm with his cows, horses, chickens and dogs, but a money tree wouldn’t hurt. He can hear Laura’s voice in the back of his head telling him that she doesn’t have a problem spending her part of the insurance money, and that he’s absolutely ridiculous for only using a small portion of his third of it to rebuild the family’s farm house. He can’t seem to find the words to explain to her that he feels responsible for what happened to their family, for the fire that burned up his life. It just feels wrong to use the money that came from it. Of course, Laura would counter that by saying it’s wrong for him to continue living in exile for ten years after the fact.


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Can we have a scene where Arizona goes to Meredith trying to pry into Callie’s date, and then Meredith snaps at her saying that she has her own problem to deal with, that she’s worried maybe Derek’s cheating on her? And maybe asking Arizona’s point of view of why does someone cheat on their spouse?

                             Derek/Stiles music list: Part II (part I link)
Storyline: Season 2 to Future, slow-build, Derek one-sided

Apocalyptica- I Don’t Care (x)
I try to make you see my side, Always trying to stay in line, But your eyes see right through, That’s all they do. I’m getting buried in this place, I got no room you’re in my face, don’t say anything just go away.
Linkin Park- Castle of Glass (x) 
Bring me home in a blinding dream. Through the secrets that I have seen. Wash the sorrow from off my skin, and show me how to be whole again. Cause I’m only a crack in this Castle of Glass. Hardly anything left for you to see.
Jason Mraz- You Make Me High (x)
Well I don’t know just what I’m here for, I want more than words can describe. I’ve been deprived, Can you believe it, My whole world well its fallin’ apart, well it falls, still it falls, well it falls apart, around me.
Nine Inch Nails- Closer (x)
you let me violate you, you let me desecrate you, you let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you. help me, i broke apart my insides, help me, i’ve got no soul to sell, help me, the only thing that works for me, help me get away from myself
Plumb- Cut (x)
I may seem crazy, Or painfully shy, And these scars wouldn’t be so hidden, If you would just look me in the eye, I feel alone here and cold here, Though I don’t want to die, But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside
Amanda Seyfried- Lil’ Red Riding Hood (x)
What a big heart I have-the better to love you with. Little Red Riding Hood Even bad wolves can be good. I’ll try to be satisfied just to walk close by your side. Maybe you’ll see things my way before we get to grandma’s place. 
Go Radio- Goodnight Moon (x)
Cause I’ve been trying way too long, To try and be the perfect song, When our hearts are heavy burdens, We shouldn’t have to bear alone. So goodnight moon and goodnight you, When you’re all that I think about, All that I dream about, How’d I ever breathe without, A goodnight kiss from goodnight you.

"It's a beautiful day to save lives"

This is seriously the best episode of Grey’s Anatomy in a really long time. I really like that it’s being told from Derek’s point of view and there’s hardly any of the annoying nonsense melodrama that they been showing thus far this season. I’m surprised that they didn’t wait until the season finale for this episode to air.

“I’m going to die because these people haven’t been trained properly.”-Derek Shepherd

You’re a Supernatural

(His point of view)

Derek Hale
      ‘Yes, because that sounds like a brilliant idea,’ said (y/n) sarcastically, not looking up from the book she was reading.
      Peter snorted in response. ‘I’m glad you agree. So, you’re prepared to kill him to stop the Kanima then?’
     I noticed that despite her calm demeanour (y/n)’s hands tightened on the book and her eyes narrowed dangerously.
      I rested a hand lightly on her shoulder. I could feel the tension in her shoulders; Peter had finally struck a chord with the normally calm girl. I rubbed her shoulder lightly. She smiled up at me slightly; there was a look of relief on her face.
     ‘You said,’ she said through gritted teeth as her attention turned back towards Peter, ‘that we wouldn’t need to kill him.’
      Peter shrugged. ‘I actually said he wouldn’t die.’
      (Y/n) clenched her jaw, closing the book with an almost terrifying calmness. I could hear that her heart was beginning to beat a little faster, and gave her shoulder a light squeeze.
      I noticed that my uncle’s attention had turned back towards the laptop, as if totally disinterested in the argument now.
      ‘Hey, we’ll sort it,’ I said to her softly, trying to reassure her. To be honest, I had no idea what was actually going to happen. I knew she’d been close to Jackson when they were younger, but there was nothing else I could really do to try and help calm her. The Kanima was a threat we needed to get rid of, even if it meant hurting Jackson in the process at this stage.
      ‘What, so you’re just gonna turn him into a zombie then?’ she asked dryly. I noticed that her hands were shaking slightly.
      Peter stopped typing, and turned to face (y/n) with an incredulously raised eyebrow. ‘No,’ he said coolly, ‘there’s no such thing as zombies, darling.’
      His tone was about as condescending as it could be, and the effect it had was shocking.
      Surprisingly, (y/n) stood up quickly, and I moved aside slightly. I could hear her heart pounding as the anger built inside her. The strangest thing about her reaction, however, was the fact that her eyes were burning a familiar amber colour.
      ‘You’re a werewolf?’ I said softly, complete shock washing over me. How had I not noticed?
      (Y/n) sighed, closing her eyes and shaking her head slightly. She took a deep breath before opening her eyes. They’d returned to their normal colour and there was a slight smirk on her face.
      ‘Yeah, I was bitten when I was like six,’ she said, rubbing the back of her neck in a slightly nervous gesture.
      Peter sniffed, a slight amount of confusion clouding his features. ‘How comes you don’t smell like one?’
      ‘There’s this weird invention called deodorant that helps,’ she said icily, a slight smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth though as she looked over at me. I could hear Peter muttering darkly though.
      ‘How comes you never said anything?’ I asked, raising an eyebrow at her as I folded my arms.
      She shrugged slightly. ‘With everything else that happened when we met, when was there time to?’ she asked, smirking.
      ‘Don’t you think it was kind of an important thing you should’ve mentioned?’ I asked. ‘And how long were you thinking of keeping this from me?’
      She raised an eyebrow at me. ‘Okay, so it was a kind of important thing I possibly should’ve mentioned. And I was hoping I wouldn’t have to, but I guess nothing prepares you for the annoyance that is Peter Hale.’

Isaac Lahey
      The sun had slipped below the horizon about half an hour ago but (y/n) still hadn’t texted me. She’d said about going swimming to clear her head because of everything that was happening in Beacon Hills. I’d asked her to tell me when she got back though – okay, so I was perhaps worrying about her a little more than I needed to, but still – and still, my phone was silent.
      I tapped my phone nervously against my hand, chewing the inside of my lip slightly while pacing at the end of my bed.
       ‘You know,’ came Scott’s voice from the door, making me jump around. There was a slight smirk on his face, and he was leaning against the doorframe. ‘You could always go and find her. I mean, it’s not like you don’t know where she’ll be.’
      ‘She’d kill me,’ I said, pocketing the phone though. ‘But, I guess she’d understand. I mean, with everything that’s been going on.’
      After about five minutes of pacing I finally left, taking Scott’s old bike to make the journey there quicker.
      I reached the little clearing in a quicker time than I’d anticipated. My eyes were on the lake as I placed the bike carefully against a tree though. In the soft moonlight the water shone like glass, the treetops reflected in the calm surface.
The calmness, however, only made me worry.
      ‘(Y/n)?’ I called, stepping closer to the edge of the water. Something flickered near the middle of the lake, causing panic to rise in my chest. ‘You there?’
      I stopped by the edge, squinting slightly. There it was again, the shining thing flicking out of the water. I stumbled back slightly, uncertain as to what it was.
      ‘Isaac!’ I heard her say excitedly.
      I jumped slightly, before squinting at the edge of the water nearest to me. She was grinning up at me, using one hand to wipe some of the water off of her face. I felt my heart settle slightly. The odd glimmering in the water was still niggling at the back of my mind though.
      ‘You should probably get out of the water,’ I said, crouching beside her as I offered my hand out to her.
      She raised an eyebrow at me, tilting her head slightly. I noticed, however, the glimmering flick out of the water closer to her.
      ‘(Y/n)!’ I said, quickly pulling her out of the water out of sheer panic. I could hear her protests but my attention was on the water, searching for the mysterious thing.
      ‘Isaac,’ she said, her voice was surprisingly calm though. I turned my attention towards her quickly. And that’s when I noticed.
      She had a slightly shocked expression on her face, a slight annoyance too though due to her arched eyebrow. I noticed, however, that the glimmering was coming from her. There was a glittering tail where her legs should have been, covered in dark blue scales.
      ‘You… you’ve got a tail,’ I said, awestruck as she flicked it in what I could only assume was annoyance.
      ‘Yeah, mermaids tend to have them,’ she said simply, before flicking me with water. I blinked a few times, my attention still on the tail, before looking towards her though.
      ‘You’re a mermaid?’
      She nodded slightly, averting her eyes towards a small rock by her hand.
      ‘That’s awesome,’ I said, grinning as she looked back up at me, a smile slipping onto her face as she pulled me into a hug.

Scott McCall
      ‘Ugh, can’t I just say that I’m normal?’ asked (y/n), putting her head lightly against the keyboard, but the sound it created was something slightly dramatic.
      We’d been looking up all sorts of supernatural beings all evening – Stiles had Skyped us earlier to try and help, but his dad was working on a case so of course Stiles had decided to try and solve it too.
      This had all started the other day in class when (y/n)’d moved a pencil without even thinking about it. She’d been furious with something or other that Greenburg had said and the pencil had landed on the table beside him. There was also the time that the twins had been trying to annoy Boyd. Their mutterings were getting louder and after a few moments she turned towards them, her expression like thunder, and the books on their tables jumped threateningly, causing all attention to turn towards them.
      And, of course, since then we’d been trying to figure out what she was. As of yet, however, we’d had very little luck.
      I moved towards her, resting my hand lightly on her shoulder. Her screen was currently filled with information on Charles Xavier as well as a small section on nymphs. I gave her shoulder a slight squeeze.
      ‘Hey, we’ll figure it out and then we’ll figure out how you can control it,’ I said softly, but I couldn’t help but frown slightly.
      She sat up slowly, and turned around to look at me, a slight annoyance behind her eyes. The whole situation appeared to be grating on her slightly, and I couldn’t blame her.
      I noticed, however, that there was a small book on the table beside her, trembling slightly.
      ‘Hey,’ I said, moving slightly so as to steady the book, ‘it’ll be alright. We can stop now if you want,’ I said. The book was still trembling, but it began to struggle less under my hand.
      She shook her head. ‘No, I want to know, it’s just so frustrating, you know?’
I sighed, kissing her on the top of the head lightly. ‘I don’t know how frustrating this is, but we’ll help you get through it.’
      She nodded slightly, just as my phone rang. I frowned, but quickly answered when I noticed it was my mom.
      ‘Hey, Mom, I’m just–’
      ‘I think I found something,’ she said, her voice almost excited as I raised an eyebrow at (y/n). Confusion crossed my face though. ‘Poltergeists.’
      ‘Poltergeists?’ I questioned, and I noticed that (y/n) was already typing, her brow furrowed in confusion though as she got towards the end of the word.
      ‘Yeah, spirits which can move objects when annoyed,’ my mom said, just as the screen in front of (y/n) was filled with information on the things.
      And then, a slight amount of happiness lit up (y/n)’s face.
      ‘That’s it,’ she said happily, practically ripping the phone out of my hand. ‘You’re a genius!’ she said, and I could just about hear my mom chuckling.
      I moved towards the screen, flicking through the information. I could feel (y/n) bouncing on the chair beside me excitedly though.
       ‘How am I gonna learn to control this though?’ she asked in a small voice once she’d hung up the phone. There was slight panic on her face; her eyes were wide, moving quickly as if she were scanning my face for the answer.
       ‘I don’t know,’ I admitted, pulling her into a hug though. ‘But I’m sure we’ll figure something out. I’ll help you through this.’

Stiles Stilinski
      I wandered up the front path, fiddling awkwardly with the little present that I’d brought (y/n) for her birthday. I’d been planning on giving her the necklace at school but she’d been ill – or her parents had let her stay at home for once – so I was left with one last option. Use the spare key to her house and leave it on the table for her as a little surprise.
      The key was in a little nook in the wall just under the letterbox, as it always was. I slipped it out, only just realising that both of her parents’ cars were gone. This was evidentially going to be easier than I’d thought.
       After opening the door, lifting it just a little to try and stop it squeaking just in case, I stepped quickly into the hallway. The usual smell of vanilla filled my nose. But, rather than calming me like it normally did, I felt panic rising in my chest. Wasn’t it only that strong when there was a candle burning?
       I placed the present on the table by the door, before sneaking further into the house, sniffing to try and see if I could smell burning at all.
      ‘Hello?’ I asked quietly, hoping that someone might actually have been in now.
      There was no response, and I made my way quickly into the living room. While there was nothing in there I could see into the dining room.
      I could see that (Y/n) had her back to me. Her iPod was on the table, and I could see the wire of her headphones coming from it. There was a candle on her other side. The flickering flame appeared to be larger than any safe flame I’d seen before.
       I was about to call her when she moved her hand above the flame. I froze, worry washing over me. But, she curled her hand above the flame at a safe distance. I noticed that the flame appeared to jump off of the wick slightly, a small ball of fire hovering in mid-air. She tapped her clenched fist with her other hand and the ball of fire appeared to transform into a small dragon, flapping pathetically above the wick before settling on it as a flame once more.
      ‘What was that?’ I said, barely able to keep my voice hushed.
      (Y/n) turned around quickly, knocking the candle as she did so. Utter shock crossed her face but she clicked. The candle appeared to hover just above the floor, bouncing softly as if caught in a wind tunnel.
      ‘Stiles!’ she said, pulling her headphones out. ‘What are you doing here?’
       There was an odd annoyance on her face, and her eyes flickered down to the candle. She sighed though as she moved to pluck the candle from the air.
      ‘Are you telekinetic or something?’ I asked, rubbing a hand through my hair.
      She shook her head slightly, her eyes on the candle as she placed it carefully on the table. ‘Not quite. I can control the elements. Well, that’s as far as it goes yet, Dad recons with enough practice–’
      ‘Hold up, your dad knows?’
      She chuckled. ‘How would my parents not know I was a witch, Stiles? Where’d you think I got it from?’
      My mouth fell open at that comment. ‘How comes you never told me, I’m your best friend?!’ I asked, outraged, but she chuckled lightly at that, shaking her head with a slight smirk lighting her face though.

solarrift reblogged your post and added:

In my opinion:
I think Scott didn’t know about all that’s happened with Derek when he was a teenager. He did what he thought was right; he went on to do everything by himself where his plan was concerned in calling Gerard out on his plan to become a werewolf himself. I don’t think Scott did it to hurt Derek, but I do think that Scott wasn’t really trustful of Derek (and with good reason from his point of view). Scott knew that if he’d told anyone about what his plan was, especially Derek, Derek would have just raced in and tried to Kill Gerard, possibly getting someone hurt.

I think for Derek, while there was a betrayal part to this in a way, it was more of an eye opener for Derek. When he realized Scott’s plan I believe he also realized his own faults in how he’s treated Scott in the past. I think that this is the scene where Derek begins changing for the better, especially in his relationships and truthfulness with Scott.

In conclusion, Scott did a crap thing, but with his limited knowledge of Derek’s past he saw nothing wrong with how he handled it until Derek looked at him and asked that vulnerable question of “Why didn’t you tell me?”; Scott did say sorry. Helping Derek up, touching him and even directing him in Scott’s train of thought, however vague, was his way of apologizing. Derek I believe learned in this moment that he needs to better himself; he wasn’t told about this because Scott didn’t trust him. This was a very pivital moment for them.

Hey sweetheart, I’m actually very confused by your last paragraph here. Scott didn’t apologize. The scene went:

Derek: Why didn’t you tell me?
Scott: Because you might be an Alpha, but you’re not mine.

*Derek stares up with the expression shown in the gif earlier in the post*
*All hell breaks loose with the kanima, Scott and Derek don’t address each other again.*

Like I said, my issue with Scott is not his not telling Derek ahead of time. He and Deaton had hatched a super-secret “master plan,” and it’s understandable that they would have wanted as few people to know as possible (which I think is more the reason than Scott not trusting Derek, since Stiles wasn’t let in on the plan either). It’s the lack of apology afterward, the lack of any kind of remorse or consideration for what he’d just put Derek through, that really upsets me and a lot of other viewers.

I also respectfully disagree with the idea that Scott hurting Derek was a good way to motivate him to become a better person. Like… “see, you’re a bad Alpha so I scared you and threatened to kill you. Now if you turn your attitude around, I won’t have to pull something like that again.” No, that’s not ok. Derek screwing up doesn’t justify Scott, our hero, screwing him over. Abuse or mistreatment shouldn’t be a “learning experience.”

The show portrays Scott as being pretty much flawless, which is why this scene is so problematic. Derek makes mistakes, but he gets vilified for them. Stiles or Allison make mistakes, they get scolded or confronted about them. When most characters make mistakes it’s in some way addressed. The show never addresses any of Scott’s bad behavior, and pretend he’s this basically perfect being, more noble and pure than anyone else, and that’s why a lot of people get frustrated with his character.

Again, I don’t hate Scott. I hate the fact that he’s portrayed as being “happy pure sunshine and perfection” when he is very clearly not. No one is. And he should have apologized for what he did here, or been called out for it the way any of the other characters would have been.

                              Derek/Stiles music list: Part I
                  Storyline: Pre-series to end of season 2, Derek’s POV.

Shinedown- Heroes (x)
Dark devotion in a Beacon paradise, Shows no emotion to a willing sacrifice, You can put a man on trial, but you can’t make the guilty pay, And you can cage an animal, but you can’t take away the rage.
Three Days Grace- World So Cold (x)
I never thought I’d feel this, Guilty and broken down inside, Living with myself, nothing but lies. I always thought I’d make it, But never knew I’d let it get so bad, Living with myself is all I have.
Breaking Benjamin- Dear Agony (x)
Light the way and let me go, Take the time to take my breath, I will end where I began, And I will find the enemy within, Because I can feel it crawl beneath my skin.
House of Heroes- In the Valley of the Dying Sun (x)
In the valley of the dying sun, I walk a crooked path alone, I came across the shadow of a man, With an angel’s breath, ‘O boy’ he said to me, 'I see your future’, 'Though you long for peace, The sword is your father.
Hollywood Undead- We Are (x)
We are we are, We are made from broken parts, We are we are, We are broken from the start. Our hearts, our hearts, They were beating in the dark, We are we are, We are built from broken parts
Lifehouse- Fairy Tales and Castles (x) 
he says he looks in the mirror, and he can’t tell anymore, who he really is and who they believe him to be, and he says he walks a thin line, between what is and what could be, and he’s getting closer, to something he can’t understand