We’ve been in each other’s lives for two years now. I’ve known the boy that broke my heart more than I even knew was possible for two years. We’re not always on good terms, but we always come back to each other. Am I naive to think that us going back to each other constantly means that we should be together, or just too gullible to realize it means nothing at all?
We all look strong on the outside, and it seems like this depression is a small thing. But what people don’t get is, it’s on the inside that people don’t see. The fight, agony of wanting to die but still fight.
My hope is based upon the idea that one day you’re going to come back and say you love me and you made a big mistake. But I know that won’t happen. You left a long time ago. And I’m so clingy I can’t let go.
The tears breaching. I am unhappiness. I am a black hole. I am death. I am anger. I am sadness. I am the dark. And I feel myself, well I feel it, it’s creeping into all the aspects of my life. Stress. Depression. Panic attacks. My meals are sparse, as are my words. The smiles are forced and I feel the alone-ness and the disgust I feel for myself. I cannot even look at myself in the mirror. I want to be alone.