What depression is really like:

•caring about your grades but not enough to do anything about them

•thinking about suicide more than graduating

•considering suicide whenever any problem arises

•tired

•no motivation

•no energy

•walking is so hard

•sometimes even talking is too much work because you’re so god damn tired

•laying in bed for hours because you’re too tired to move

•feeling nothing but sometimes everything

•knowing you’re not alone but still feeling alone

•that constant mindset of, “Who cares? I wont be around much longer anyways.”

•wishing to be left alone, while also wishing for people to stay

•never believing you’re good enough

•always putting yourself down

•never planning to far ahead in time

•fake smiles, fake laughs

•long showers because that’s you’re little moment of escape

Longs term effects of emotional abuse:

• a distrust in your perceptions

• a tendency to be fearful or on guard

• self-consciousness or fear of how you are coming across

• an inability to be spontaneous

• a distrust of people and in future relationships

• anger that bursts out unexpectedly

• sensitivity to anyone trying to control you

• the feeling of anxiety when someone lets you decide

• withdrawal from social interactions

• unexplainable feelings of shame/guilt

• unusual weight gain/loss

• changes in appetite

• unexplained anxiety or depression states

• self destructive behavior

• isolation from friends/family

• substance abuse

someday, i’m just gonna leave. buy a plane ticket, and just fly somewhere. maybe i’ll be with someone, maybe i won’t. but one day, i’ll leave.
The thought of losing you burns harder in the back of my throat more than any liquor could.
—  its hard to swallow

“When a heart breaks, what sound does it make?”

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. There is a silence, because when a heart breaks, the person becomes the definition of emptiness. Even when their world crumbles and falls apart in their hands, it is silent. There’s a cruel realization in heartbreak, and it’s that you know you’re about to live where the sun no longer shines; where you can’t even see that your clouds have gone to grey.

—  excerpt from a book I’ll never write #41 // @loveactivist

They say if you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it’s yours.

Well I’ve been coming back to you every single time, but you still insist on letting me go.

—  excerpt from a book I’ll never write #28 // @loveactivist