depressing text

I’m shaken up.
The world doesn’t seem to breathe, without you.
—  Nicole Torres// excerpt;

Renee Davis, a 23-year-old Native woman, was shot and killed by Kings County (Washington) deputies on Friday (October 21). Renee was five months pregnant and struggling with depression. She texted a friend to say that she was “in a bad way.” That person called the police, who went to Davis’ home on Muckleshoot Tribal lands. The cops knocked but received no reply so they entered the house to find Renee holding a handgun. Rather than de-escalate the situation, the cops ended up killing Renee Davis. 

Say her name. (x)

  • my thoughts:nobody likes you
  • my thoughts:kill yourself
  • my thoughts:nobody would care
  • my thoughts:you're ugly
  • my thoughts:you have no friends
  • my thoughts:don't even go out nobody wants to see your ugly face
  • my thoughts:stop talking you're stupid
  • my thoughts:getting fat again
  • my thoughts:cancelled plans? they don't actually want to hangout with you
  • my thoughts:you're worthless
  • my thoughts:give up

I just wish my parents, teacher and classmates could see how fucking hard I’m fucking trying to do this shit, I’m trying to finish all my homework, I’m trying to study for all these fucking tests every week but you know, its just really hard to focus and memorize all this useless information when all you’re thinking about is how much you fucking hate yourself and how much you deserve to die okay so give me a fucking break

People need to stop throwing the word “depressing ” and “depressed” around like its nothing. Having someone close to you die, is depressing, whereas having a celebrity that you like, leave their band, is not. Having your boyfriend/girlfriend of 2 years breakup with you is depressing, whereas having your boyfriend/girlfriend of 2 weeks, breakup with you, is not. I’m not saying you can’t be sad over that… But it’s not depressing. Get over it. Being sad for 4 days is not depression and if you think that then you clearly don’t even know what depression is even about.

Depression is waking up in the morning, wishing you hadn’t. Depression is never wanting to leave your room. Depression is faking a smile 24/7 Depression takes everything away from you. Depression makes you feel worthless. Depression makes you suicidal. Depression makes you contemplate whether you should jump infront of any car that passes you, as you walk alone. Depression makes you think more about how you’re gonna commit suicide, than graduating high school. Depression kills. Depression is something that takes over your life. You’re always sad, and some days, you’re just a little less sad than others.

Not getting tickets to see your favourite band is not depressing. Not getting to hang out with your friends is not depressing. Not getting a new phone is not depressing. Not getting a text back from the person you like, is not depressing. Not getting a follow back on twitter from one direction is not depressing. STOP THROWING THE WORDS. “depressed” and “depressing” AROUND. DEPRESSION IS A SERIOUS MENTAL ILLNESS AND PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE THE REASON WHY PEOPLE SEE IT AS A JOKE.