I am legion. I am a saint when it comes to my parents. I am a bitch when it comes to my brothers and sisters. I am a mute when it comes to strangers. And I speak in tongues when it comes to my friends. Especially when I am under the influence of alcohol. And to society? I am a ghost. But what intrigues me the most is my identity when it comes to my own self. Who am I exactly? Am I just an actor? A performer? Or do I become more like myself when I act? When I perform the roles I want certain people to believe in? Who am I exactly? I am nobody. I am perfect.
Maybe time would never heal our wounds. And perhaps they never will.
What I know is that time will make the healing last forever. Perhaps a wound is better than a scar. It reminds us that we’re still alive. That we’re still trying to go through life despite all the pain and all the sorrow that it has brought us.
Maybe pain is better than good memories. And perhaps living in the past is better than living in the present and looking forward to a brighter future because the past is too fucking awesome to ignore.
And maybe, my love. When our past, present, and future collide all at the same time one day.
I hope you’ll look into my daydreaming eyes and see our histories in it.
And maybe, just maybe. In the right time. We may learn to fall in love all over again.
Seeing you so active, made me want to send in a little headcanon :) Headcanon where you're a student trying to sneak out at night to get to the library, but you get busted my the one and only, Severus Snape.
You turn slowly, your face filled with horror as you realize you’ve been caught.
“I believe that this is probably a record. You are literally five feet from the common room door.” Snape stares down at you, his lips pulled back in a sneer. “You don’t do this often, do you?”
“Sneaking out?” you ask, your voice shaking. “N…no.”
“And why, exactly, were you deciding to go on a midnight jaunt?” Snape asks, his voice eerily calm.
“Well, I just realized that I left a book I needed for my homework in the…library,” you finish lamely, knowing full well that he’s just going to tell you that the library is closed up tight anyway so there’s no reason why you should be sneaking about.
Instead, he says this: “Well then, come along.”
You gape at him for a moment before you force your legs to move and follow him down the dark hallway.
“R…really?” you stutter.
“Well,” he replies, with a shrug, “you obviously need to get something in exchange for the detention you’re going to be doing with Filch on Friday night, and I would hate for you to miss an opportunity to finish your homework…”
You flush with irritation at the mention of the detention but bite your tongue to keep yourself quiet. It seems he’s going to get you into the library after all, so really, he’s right. The trip is quiet, and Snape pulls out a ring of keys to open the doors to the darkened library. “Go on, then,” he says, gesturing with his hand, “get your book and return to me when you are finished.”
You run down the darkened aisles with your wand in hand, trying not to let the shadows play tricks on you, and grasp the book from its place before running back. As you reach the door, you stumble, and he grasps your elbow roughly to keep you from falling.
“You’d better take care of that book,” he says, his eyes glittering. “It’s school property, after all.”
You gulp and nod, following him back to your dorm with the book grasped tightly against your chest.
“Good evening,” he says, almost cordially, as you step into the door to your common room. “You can see Filch on Friday after class for your detention. I hope the book was worth it.”
You look up at him, your eyes shining and nod. “Yes. It was, thank you, Professor.”
And before he can say another word, you’ve bounded into your common room, heading towards your room to start your work.
I miss you a lot more than I realized. Things keep happening and I always find myself wishing I could tell you about them. I saw you in my dreams again.. It felt so real!
Sometimes, you just can’t tell anybody how you really feel. Not because you don’t know why. Not because you don’t know your purpose. Not because you don’t trust them. But because you can’t find the right words to make them understand.
I will never forget the moment your heart stopped and mine kept beating, I am so sorry I could not save you!
…And I don’t want to forget how you voice sounds. I will miss you forever!
Hardships and disappointments occupy huge part in my life and sometimes I feel that if you were with me, I could overcome them in a second and live as the happiest person in the world.
I still remember how I came to your room and woke you up by kissing your hands, I remember every little detail about you and I. You know, I never kiss anyone, even mom, but when I truly appreciate someone, I kiss their hands, that is the appreciation for their existence. I wish I could kiss your hands again, I wish I could save you, dad.