depraved me

3

“Rest up, my feathered friend. Preserve your strength. Because tomorrow, we’re going to play a little game.”

6

Where in Dipper realizes that going dark-side isn’t exactly what he’d thought it’d be like.

“Is freedom not a little depraved?” he says, lips reaching my throat, tongue dragging a line of fire against my skin.  He is so close I can feel his words in my flesh, his body ripening like summer heat against me, “Is depravity not freedom?”

x

I tried to draw the scene from chapter 3 to add to the pictures from SOA, but full bodies are hard so I cropped out my disgrace.  It was bad.

This looks nothing like your boys now, @yelyzavetaa, I’m sorry.  I’m gonna keep tagging you though- for the original inspiration.

Libertine (M)

Third installment of the RUN series!

Genre: Angst

Emergence  Desolation  Nimiety  Purgatory  Paradise  Butterfly

A house made of cards, and stupidly, us // Even if you say it’s a useless dream, just stay a little more like this…

I am standing in the middle of a house of cards. It begins to fall apart around me until I am left vulnerable to the world. I am afraid to be alone. I’m afraid of anyone finding out. I feel nothing, I am nothing.  So I go about my life, false bravado in tow, attempting to build the structure of cards that had surrounded me but it always fails. Countless women left in the wake of my conquest for something, anything, to shelter me, to make me feel needed, wanted. Some may call me depraved but I have simply learned to cope with my lost.  I, Jimin, am a libertine.  


 Ask me if I do this every day, I said “Often” Ask how many times she rode the wave, “Not so often”….

The Weekend plays in the background as I thrust deeper into the girl under me. I had forgotten her name a long time ago but I “affectionally” call her Weeknd because whenever I come over to fuck she always has The Weeknd playing. Leaning down, I whisper in her ear, “Baby I can make that pussy rain, often…” she lets a breath moan, as I pound harder into her, chasing that momentary relief and feeling of relief. Once I’ve reached it, I gather my clothes and prepare for the usual answer,

 “Can you stay and cuddle with me?”

I let out a chuckle at her question and compose my face, feigning innocence, I turn my head towards her, “Maybe next time babe”, as I flash her a smile before slipping out of the door. 

6 months ago, Jimin would’ve stayed and cuddled. Maybe even got to know her as a person but that jimin was gone, along with him. Now a day Jimin filled his time either filling other girls, partying with the lost boys, or causing trouble for others in Seoul. All of these provided him with a momentary escape, though he enjoyed his girls the most. There’s nothing like having someone under your control, screaming your name, then reacting like an addict when you weren’t around. He craved the feeling of being wanted, he lived for it. If only he could have it all the time but he can. After it’s all done, Jimin always has to face himself. 


Maybe I should’ve took her up on her offer instead of going back to a empty apartment, Jimin thought to himself before shaking his head. Yeah, no. As he stuck his key in the lock, turning it before stepping into his dimly lit hallway.Tomorrow this hallway will lit with Christmas lights as Jimin drowns his sorrows. Tomorrow would also be the day when Hoseok is released from the hospital. So it will be a celebration of sorts instead of a regular get together to silence demons. Although that will be done too, well for the exception of Taehyung and Namjoon. They had both found their peace. Fuck that, who needs people when you have pussy, drinks, and my lost boys.


The sunlight seeping through the curtains awoke Jimin. Today he would see his roommate, Hoseok again, after not seeing him for two weeks. He had took one too many pills and had landed himself in the hospital…again. They had kept him longer than most because it was his second time. What they don’t understand is we all have to cope somehow… He would be the one signing him out, having put they were related. The apartment had become lonelier than usual so Jimin was looking forward to having his loud roommate back. Looking at the time, 10:00am, Jimin noted it was time for his usual. He texted, the number he had memorized by heart, 

“Are you ready for me?”

This one he called, autumn. Hence her only seeing him during Autumn. Feeling his phone vibrate, Jimin looked down,

 “The question is are you ready for me?”

She was always a tease, that’s why he always went back. Autumn was the only girl who never gave into him. She always left him begging for more. Jimin quickly made his way out of bed, throwing on a discarded white shirt and dark blue jeans on, black  Dr. Martens adorning his feet. He rushed out of the front door, craving the next few hours of momentary bliss that awaited him.


 Jimin took in a breath before knocking on her door, putting on his best smirk as he leaned against the wall outside her apartment. When Autumn opened up the door, a quite fuck passed Jimin’s lips. She looked just as good as the last time he saw her, he thought to himself. Her black and blue hair hung down her back, a white t-shirt adorned her body and he noted she had no bra on as her nipples poked at her t-shirt. Her long legs that would soon be wrapped around him were on display; a pair of grey panties shielded her from him. Meeting her hungry gaze, he took a step towards her a blank look on his face. He locked his lips with hers in a passionate battle for dominance. With his arms wrapped around her, he pushed her body backwards into her apartment. Kicking her front door closed with his foot. 

Pulling back from the kiss, Autumn stared intensely at Jimin until she turned her back on him. She too her white t-shirt off before sliding down her panties. Over he shoulder she called to him, “Follow me baby”, before making her way to the room.  Jimin eagerly followed her, discarding his clothes as he made his way towards her bedroom.  He stood before her cock in hand, taking in her body sprawled on the bed, waiting to be ravaged. He climbed onto the bed, placing his hands on either side of her head.  He dipped his head before whispering in her ear, cock positioned at her entrance, “I think we better skip the foreplay”, he didn’t wait for a response before he began thrusting into her.  Their loud moans filled the room, as Jimin roughly thrusted in and out of her. Taking her left leg, he placed it on her shoulder, thrusting deeper into her, hitting her g-spot again and again. Autumn sensed that they were both close to orgasm before Jimin leaned down peppering kisses all over her neck before biting at it before they both became undone.

Once she had composed herself, Autumn made her way out of bed, pulling on a discarded pair of Levi’s. She was the one girl he couldn’t fuck into submission. The one he craved the most. The one he wanted to feel needed by but couldn’t. He thought to himself before he voiced his feelings, “Where are you going? Why don’t we just stay in bed for now?” trying to mask his feelings. She turned towards him, looking him over with disinterest before she responded,

“Jimin you know this goes. In plus I have a business meeting to get to. I know you’ve done this many times before. Although you walk into my apartment with a smirk on your face and a I don’t give a fuck look on, I know you do.  You’re looking for someone to give a fuck about you but that isn’t me. Honestly you need to give a fuck about yourself then everyone else will follow. That’s what I’ve done”

Jimin’s took in her words, a shock expression painted his face. He hadn’t known she could see right through him. His mouth opened and closed as he tried to find something to say before he let out a frustrated sigh, pushing back his orange hair. Noticing nothing would be said in response she made her way towards the bedroom door before she stopped. Turning to him once more, she spoke, “You can see yourself out. Just make sure to slam the door when you do” before she walked out of the bedroom.

Jimin heard the front door lock as she left. She was right. Her words rang with familiarity. Noting the time, 11:30am, Jimin saw he only had 2 hours left before he had to pick up Hoseok. He decided to head back to his apartment. There was something he needed to find.


Dear Jimin,

By the time you’ve read this I’ll already be gone. Don’t come find me. I know we al had our own demons to deal with. I knew them all well. No one knew mine specifically. Everyday I ignore it, everyday it grew stronger until I could no longer fight it. I had been the comfort for you and the boys, your rock. I’ve left you all a letter, with you in particular I left you two because I know you will get rid of it but I have to tell you something important. Out of all the boys Jimin, I know you need to feel wanted and the affirmation of love the most. I want you to know that I love you Jimin, and the boys all love you. What I’ve done and my actions do not mean I love you any less. You are heaven sent, an angel. I want you to love yourself Jimin and to always be true to yourself and the boys.

                                                                                          Love your Hyung,           

                                                                                                    Jin     

He had been right. He had had burnt the letter as the ashes fell into the tub. Jimin sat in the tub of clouded water as sobs of agony raked through his body. He had decided. He slide under the water, attempting to drown himself. 

Jimin would’ve been successful had he not let the water run. The neighbors below him had complained of a water leak. Before he knew it, he was being pulled out of the tube, despite his protest. A towel had been wrapped around him before they took him to a psychiatric hospital. He was held under suicide watch until he was cleared to go. Once he was out, he had completely forgotten about Jins words. He found himself in between the legs of a new girl every week, wanting to feel needed. It never worked. Autumn’s words had resonated because of Jin. Jimin had come home to find the letter, only t find it discarded under a stack of papers on the dining table. A single tear fell down his face and unto the paper as he read. He had been right. All along he had been looking in the wrong places. Everything he needed had been right in front him the whole time. From now on he needed to love himself and stay true to his boys.


1:00pm,  Jimin made his way through the hospital towards Hoseoks room. The nurse had informed him that Hoseok would be sleeping when he arrived. He had given her a mischievous smirk before making his way down the hall. Once he had opened the door and stepped into the room, he picked up a pillow place a chair close to the door, placing it behind his back. Standing before Hoseok he took in his sleeping form.His face was flooded by the sunlight seeping through the blinds as the boy looked healthier than he did two weeks ago. Before he could inspect him further, Hoseok opened his eyes, a smile gracing his face.

“Hey hyung, long time no see, you look good” a small on Jimins, as he tried to mask his intentions. Hoseok had always been keen and noticed the pillow behind his back.

“Thank you Jiminie! I’ve been on good behavior” as he gripped his pillow before swinging it at the younger boy catching him off guard.

 Feathers and laughter filled the room as both boys laid on the floor. Catching his breath, Jimin turned his head towards Hoseok, as he spoke, “Hyung isn’t the only one that’s gotten better”, as he let out an airy laugh. Hoseok hadn’t heard such a laugh from Jimin since before Jin’s death. He knew that Jimin had built himself up while he was gone.  As he had done.


No longer did fallen cards surround me. With those words I had built the house of cards up again. The boys now occupy this place with me. It’s just us inside. No longer will we mess it up as times go by.  I know there is a tomorrow and that there is a next time. No longer is there darkness but light. With the love that fills and surrounds me, I am looking forward to what awaits us.

Originally posted by fyeahbangtaned

Credit to BTS, House of Cards