deployment love

I miss you more on rainy days. Drops echoing inside my empty soul. I never realize exactly how lonely I am until the rain begins to fall. Cloudy, dark skies reminding me exactly how my life is without you. I wish you were here- to fall asleep to the sound of pouring rain together.
it gets harder, not easier. each goodbye is one more stab at the heart and I have to constantly repeat to myself “this is only temporary.” how many more goodbyes do we have to say before we can live at peace? how many more lonely nights do we have to sleep through to finally be able to fall asleep wrapped in each others arms? it’s difficult living in this constant fear that one day you will forget me, one day you might not return, and finally when you do return there can be a call any minute thay can once again separate us. but we are worth it. we are worth the wait. we are worth the daily struggle because our love is strong enough to conquer this. this is not permanent and eventually we will get our happy ending. the distance will not destroy us.
But it’s all I have. This hope. Hope that you will come back, hope that you won’t forget me, hope that when I look at my phone I’ll see a text from you or receive a call. I have to have hope. I’ll go crazy if I don’t. How I hope that when I wake up in the morning you’ll be there to surprise me. I hope that while I’m working, you will show up with flowers in your hand. Hope Hope Hope. It’s all I have. I hope you are safe. I hope you are well, and I hope that wherever you are, the night is being kind to you.
I need you. I don’t think you realize just exactly how much I need you, or perhaps you do but there is nothing that we can really do about it. I think that’s the hardest part of all, knowing that truly there is nothing we can do but carry on through our days hoping that this time will pass by quickly. I’m longing for the day that I can be back in your arms, where this distance wont be an issue, where there is no fear of you leaving once again. I don’t want to tell you how many times I have fallen asleep crying because I don’t want to make you feel bad, or worse than how you feel now. All I can do for you right now is support you and remind you every single day how proud I am of you and how much I love you. You have me always and I will be right here waiting for your return.
Love can withstand any boundary, love can conquer all. As long as you have the fire to fuel the desire for your soulmate.
—  A 60 day love letter