Help me, please?

Hi all. So…. I hate begging tbh. I hate admitting that I don’t have all of my shit together. But, it’s real. And I know I have folks out here to help me. So here’s the deal - I am in a financial rut at the moment. I literally have no money to my name and I have recently applied for jobs and got none. I just went on an interview today and it went well so I’m hoping that comes through but yeah. In the meantime, I am in dire need of emergency funds. The first thing on my list are chargers for my phone and laptop. Literally JUST NOW, they decided to just give up and I am in college and like…I need them! I need my phone to get the callback for the second interview. I need it for my alarm to go to class in the morning lol. I nee my laptop to do papers! Second, I need to buy more hormones - testosterone blockers and estrogen. I’m about to run out of my monthly stock and I need to go to the pharmacy and restock but I don’t have the money to do so. My co pays are only $40 for that though so it’s not like an extraordinary amount but still, I have nothing at the moment. Last, I need help with graduate school stuff. I am applying to PhD programs and the application fees are like… a lot. On top of that, I need to take the GRE which costs $200!!! wtf. I promise that I will get my life together really soon and not have to reach out to y’all anymore for money but please please please for now, please help me? My paypal email is and anything would seriously help me at this moment. Your girl is looking for a miracle lol. The devil is busy and she’s trying to hold me back! :(

I’ve been informed that some random anti is claiming I’m no longer a larrie just because I’m no longer online, so I thought I’d pop in to let everyone know that I’m larry af til the day I die. There isn’t a thing in this world that will convince Harry and Louis were never together, and I absolutely still believe they’re together now. This has been a PSA. Just didn’t want to leave anyone unsure where my head’s at. 

That said, this is pretty much absolutely goodbye. I love you guys lots, and I won’t delete my blog, and hell, maybe way down the line I’ll come back on. However, I just don’t see that as likely. I have to say that the tumblr culture is just not something I can see myself wanting to be a part of again.

A part of me is screaming not to post this. Just to leave it be and let my blog sit stagnant, leave me with the potential to come back one day like nothing ever happened and explain away my absence as “life got busy” - but a bigger part of me feels that that’s just not right. This blog has been such a big chapter of my life, I cannot leave it open ended. I won’t.

There are certainly many great people online, from my followers to my friends, who I am so grateful to have gotten to chat with and know. But, in recent months this environment as a whole has become very toxic to me. I’ve seen so many people who are unwilling to listen to any opinion but that of the majority, and moreso, they persecute those who think differently. I’ve seen friends of mine be cut down by people they thought they were close with, all because they weren’t falling in line with the main reasoning people had to explain things like babygate. I’ve seen people I considered to be my friends throw away that friendship on a dime. 

I urge everyone to remember that listening to an opinion you do not agree with is not a bad thing. Being friends with someone who doesn’t believe the same things as you is not a bad thing. If you put aside your difference of belief you can learn and grow from each other. If you surround yourself with only people who parrot what you say, or vice versa, then it is incredibly difficult to expand on your beliefs or arguments. I say this to larries and antis alike, plus anyone who falls in between. The fandom divisions have got to stop. It does no one any good.

Beyond that, I think everyone should carefully consider the implications of babygate debunking. Do I think there’s a baby? Fuck if I know. Some days I lean to yes, other days I lean to no. I have heard that Freddie was added to the California census, and that shit isn’t easily faked. I saw the posts comparing pics of him to a doll, which seems somewhat compelling, and at the same time not near compelling enough considering baby faces are generally rather similar to me. My point remains though, that none of us can say with absolute certainty that there isn’t a child’s life here. As such, I think it’s straight up wrong to continue to make posts about Freddie being fake. We just don’t know. If you believe absolutely that he is not real then there is no harm in refraining from making anymore posts on the topic until the denial. This is the most effective way of minimizing the pain we may cause if it turns out there IS a real baby.

Please do not take this post to be accusatory, or to be self-righteous. I in no way hold myself apart from this community. I do not claim to have been removed from the two issues I’ve taken with fandom that are outlined above. I just would like my final post on here to be honest. This is how I feel. Leaving here I feel bittersweet about everything. I love y’all to death, but I can’t pretend to be full of nothing but good partings in the wake of some of the stuff I’ve witnessed.

Other parting notes: Yes I think Briana and the family are horrible. Yes I still think Louis and Harry are together. No I don’t think Louis and Harry ever broke up or cheated on each other. Yes I think Harry is going to have a solo album. Yes I think 1D will come back from their hiatus. No I don’t think Zayn and 1D hate each other. Yes I love Zayn. Yes I love OT4. Yes I love OT5. Yes I am happy to have gotten to interact with all you guys. Yes I will miss you. Yes I love you guys. Yes, all of you guys, even the ones I ended on bad terms with. No I’m not tearing up right now. Okay, yes I am tearing up right now.

And to quote 1D: “We had some good times didn’t we? We wore our hearts out on our sleeves. Goodbyes are bittersweet, but it’s not the end.”

Always in my heart, Larry and Larries. Yours sincerely, Jay.