dennis herring

The author read the prompt four times. “Are you fucking kidding me?” The author groaned, then sighed. The author stared at you then began typing, while looking you in the eyes. The author doesn’t need to look in order to type.

“I love you, Dee.” Dennis said. There was no scheme, Dennis wasn’t dying either. You brought this on yourself.

Dee smiled at Dennis. “I love you too, Dennis.” She held his hand. Who knows what’s up with her.

Dennis grows four feet taller. “Let’s run away together. “ He suggests. “Take your back brace because your spine is fucked up.” His voice is extremely high pitched now. It’s like one of those fucking chipmunks.

Dee curves to the left an extreme amount. She looks like a fucking noodle. “I don’t know what you mean.” She says.

Dennis furrowed his brows and grimaced. Dee was curving more. Her spine was growing and curving. Dennis screamed as his SISTER turned into a human silly straw.

You don’t get deedennis. You get a giant chipmunk Dennis and Dee turning into a silly straw. Have fun blowing your load to that, asshole. The author slams your head against the table and you die instantly.

i’m sketching out the finer points of a fic where dennis comes out and he and mac start dating but dennis is concerned that they’re not doing the whole “gay” thing properly and that they don’t have enough “status” in the “community” so he signs himself and mac up to volunteer with some lgbt youth, and i guess the community centre is just understaffed enough that they allow mac and dennis to run the tuesday night lgbt youth group all by themselves, and it goes about as well as you can imagine. one girl asks if mac and dennis can give her a ride to goodwill on the weekend to get some feminine clothes and dennis explains that goodwill is full of bedbugs and diseases and they take her on a shoplifting tour of forever 21 and claire’s instead. a boy comes in upset about his father refusing to let him see his boyfriend, and the very next morning that dad walks out to the curb to find his tires slashed and his windows shattered and a single log of poop sitting in the middle of the driver’s seat. one girl is sad because she doesn’t know where to find a girlfriend and mac and dennis take her to a sold-out tegan and sara concert (i.e., sneak her in through the stage door in an elaborate disguise) and proceed to wingman her all night by pretending to be her overenthusiastic gay dads.

*insert here a picture of norrie standing with her hands on the back slightly shacking her head in disbelieve as she looks at all the other ringmasters that came out of nowhere*

“I don’t know how to feel about these people but I do enjoy the growing count of other females in this job….Sadly they are all people I do not want to have around me.”

We have an alien, a Necromancer, a big wooden doll, an animal as ringmaster, etc.

Norrie feels old and more normal than ever

i’m calling it now and mandy from north dakota is gonna be the one to gently guide dennis to the realization that he’s attracted to men and that he’s in love with mac… like sis was perfectly content being a single mom for two years and she was perfectly content to let mac and dennis share custody of her son she’s not just gonna marry dennis for the hell of it. she knows what she wants. she saw the spark between mac and dennis. mandy from north dakota is the key.