1. The only persons who were totally not surprised that Steve Rogers and Thor would become Best Bros were Natasha and Sam.
2. “It’s like watching a pair of ginormous Golden Retrievers play together,” Sam said.
“Huskies,” Natasha corrected.
“No way - they’re all big ol’ happy Golden Retriever puppies.”
“Sam, you look me in the eye and tell me they’re not also total little shits.”
“Like I said. Huskies.”
3. Thor is not a moron. Nor is he unaware that the “gloriousness that is Pop Tarts” is actually junk food. But he’s no stranger to depression and melancholy either. And certainly, he is not a stranger to pain and loss. So inevitably:
“Friend Steven! Come and partake of this deliciousness and I will come sit with you while they tell us about the legendary Wars of the Stars and get everything wrong.”
“… wait, Star Wars is real?”
“Somehow, the legends have made to Midgard, though the prequels are an inaccurate retelling of the tales of the Skywalkers.”
“Thor, you’re not trolling me, are you?”
“I swear on sweet Mjolnir.”
4. Steve and Thor agreed that they would totally keep their gamer identities secret from Tony right up until Tony declared a Gamers’ Tournament for DoTA. And then, the fun really started.
“Aw, Thor, no.”
“Cap, that’s my line.”
“What is this - you are gamers too - my brain is broken - what the fuck - how the hell did this happen — what — JAAARVVVVIIISSSSS!!!!“
5. It was one fine and sunny day when Steve Rogers decided to teach Thor about baseball. Thor took to it like a duck to water. Except Mjolnir.
“Aw, shield, no.” Yes, Steve was picking up a lot of speech patterns from Clint. It was already beginning to worry Natasha.
“Fear not, friend Steven! I shall return thy shield to you! Methinks I swung a bit too hard.”
“Yeah, that’s a foul ball buddy. Well, foul shield anyway. We’ll try again.”
6. When Steve found the baby girls instead of Bucky in the HYDRA base he had raided, he had been totally flabbergasted to find out that the little ones were actually created out of his and Bucky’s DNA. Naturally, the very idea of putting the girls into foster care or letting them out of his sight was out of the question. For better or for worse, he was going to be a father.
It was Thor who first stepped in and volunteered himself as a babysitter because seriously, taking care of twins was really meant to be the work of about the entire Avengers’ team. The girls fell asleep to the sound of Thor singing them Asgardian lullabies his mother had taught him.
7. Mjolnir had a crush on Steve. Darcy totally called it.
8. The first time Steve Rogers lifted Mjolnir, he was temporarily bitty-fied due to a botched spell from a wizard apparently affiliated with HYDRA.
He did it to save Bucky from falling under HYDRA control again when they tried to use a trigger word: Sputnik.
9. Thor had been totally bewildered when Steve apparently could not admit that Bucky was his “shieldmate.” Therefore, he was recruited into Team Save the Sad Grandpas by Natasha and Sam. Darcy was also included on this team. Steve and Bucky were totally doomed.
10. “So our cubs are going to have a literal godfather?”
“Luckily, the parish priest over at St. James’ has a sense of humor. Thor insists on doing a few blessings of his own too.”
“Baby, I think our babies will need all the blessings they can get.”
“You ain’t gonna hear me arguing about that.”