All my kids are dumb
Context: Our DM decided to mod an adult white dragon for us to fight. Our party is level 4. We had an NPC wizard with us who was pretty useless (Nicknamed ‘dumb child #2’ because I had to lead him around by his hand and because our fighter is ‘dumb child #1’ and you’ll see why)After entering it’s lair and meeting it we were sure we’d die so, being a bard and having a crazy high charisma, I sweet talked the dragon and we all left. But just before we did…
Fighter: I want to stealth around the dragon and see if there’s anything good.
Me, the bard with common sense: *Hissing* NO YOU DON’T!
DM: The door is now shut and your fighter is locked in the room with the dragon.
Fighter: Can I roll to stealth out of the room?
DM: I mean…the dragon is looking at the door so…
Me: If that’s the case, knowing how dumb he is and knowing he’s still in there potentially being BBQed, I’m going to open it slightly and inspire him with a song to help him escape.
DM: Okay, what song did you want to sing?
Me: F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you fucked up, N is for no one will recognize your cooooorpse when the dragon burns your ass up!
Table: *Loses it*
Fighter: *Rolls* Okay, did I make it?
DM: Despite the rousing song, the dragon is still staring at the door. So no.
Long story short, we killed the dragon with me providing support and healing and our paladin basically demolishing the dragon with the help of our fighter, ranger and Druid. It. Was. Epic.
At the next game, I’m going to stipulate that the fighter must hold my hand whenever we go into dangerous situations from now on.