demi point

love, he says, is not real.
he’s said it again: with his nails digging in my collarbone,
those flighty night-howls always drowning
his voice. 

but it’s still shaky: i think he’s like a faulty
clockwork that won’t admit it’s
malformed / breath trembling when he
says it yet his greedy fingers want more to
grasp upon. define pressure point for me,
& I’ll tell you what’s his.


love is not real, he says when all lights are
out, hips moving carelessly.
( when i say I love you, he never laughs,
but 
his lips tremble & he whispers, don’t do
this to me )

—  Demi Ev./ pressure point
Old Memories

Pairing: Leo Fitz x reader

Summary: Your past in the Red Room is brought up, and with it comes old memories, some good and some bad

A/N: This just sort of came to me and spiralled out of control. Please tell me what you think of this as I’ve never written Fitz before and want to make sure he’s not too out of character. Let’s just say this is set in season 1, since I haven’t got past that season yet :)

Originally posted by agentverbivore

(Not my gif)

“Morning,” you mumbled, sitting down on a stool next to Fitzsimmons’ workbench.
“Good morning,” they said in unison, turning to face you. “Sleep well?” added Simmons, smiling kindly. You nodded.
“Yeah, not bad. Could do with a coffee though, either of you want one?” you asked, getting up and stretching while you waited for their answers.
“Just tea for us, thanks (Y/N).”

As you returned with three hot mugs balanced haphazardly on a tray, Fitz came out to help you.
“Thanks,” you said gratefully, taking your own mug from the tray and taking a sip.
“We were just talking about life before S.H.I.E.L.D,” said Simmons, looking at you over the edge of her mug. “What did you do?”
You cleared your throat awkwardly; this would be an interesting conversation.
“I was, um, kind of an assassin,” you mumbled. Fitz’s mouth dropped open slightly.
“Did she say assassin?”
“She said assassin,” Simmons confirmed, staring at you in surprise. You bit your lip nervously.
“I was trained in the Red Room, in Russia,” you explained. “I was theirs from when I was little, S.H.I.E.L.D got me out when I was nineteen.”
The two scientists looked at you with a mixture of pity, sorrow and shock. You shifted uncomfortably, looking anywhere but at them. You liked the two of them, they were your best friends on Coulson’s team, and you really didn’t want them to end up afraid of you because of this. That had happened with more people than you liked to admit.
“The Red Room? Isn’t that where Black Widow was trained?” asked Simmons interestedly, trying to break the slightly awkward silence that had fallen. You smiled at her gratefully.
“Uh yeah. It’s a safe bet that I can’t fight as well as her though,” you said, laughing quietly. You glanced up at Fitz, who was looking at you with a curious expression.
“I’ve seen you fight, you’re good,” he said. You smiled shyly, looking back down into your half full mug of coffee.
“Thank you,” you said quietly.

*later that night*

You sighed in exasperation, staring up at your ceiling in the dark and willing sleep to take you. Ever since your past had been brought up that morning, you’d been on edge and paranoid. Every time someone looked at you, you felt as if they were thinking about what you used to be.
It would be a lie to say that you hadn’t been good at what you’d done. You’d never failed a mission, and the list of those you’d killed was miles long by now. Your hands were stained with blood, and you knew they’d always stay that way. No matter how many S.H.I.E.L.D missions you completed, no matter how many lives you saved, they would never make up for the lives you’d taken.
Giving up on trying to sleep, you swung your legs off the side of your bed. You reached for a loose hoodie and pulled it over your pyjama shirt, making your way silently through the plane and down the spiral staircase to where you knew a punch-bag still hung from when you’d been using it earlier.
Wrapping your hands in bandages quickly, you turned to face the bag. As you stared it down, you couldn’t stop yourself picturing the people who’d trained you. The people that made you their heartless killer.
You drove your fist into the middle of the bag, releasing a breath you didn’t realise you’d been holding as you continued to take out all your pent up emotions on the punch-bag. You ignored the fact that your arms and back were aching, not stopping throwing punches until you’d nearly burst the bag.
Stepping away from the bag, you reached for your water bottle and took a quick drink, splashing some of the cool water on your burning face. You closed your eyes, willing the faces from your past to stop haunting your mind.
Sighing, you ran a shaking hand through your sweat soaked hair. As you thought back on your childhood in the Red Room, memories of other lessons they taught you were brought to the surface. Other girls you’d trained alongside in there had hated the ballet lessons you’d all been forced to take part in, but you had secretly enjoyed them. There was something about knowing that you could still do something graceful and delicate even as they trained you to be a cold hearted killer that made it a little bit easier to survive.
Tossing the empty water bottle to the side, you took a quick glance around to make sure no one else was awake. Certain that you were alone, you stretched your feet carefully, bending your toes until the knuckles cracked satisfyingly.
Taking a steadying breath, you rose up on demi-pointe, holding your arms out to the side to balance yourself. You soon found you didn’t need to hold your arms out, the momentum of your movements keeping you upright. You spun in a slightly wobbly pirouette, surprised by how you remembered the technique. You leaned against the wall to regain your balance, before rising up on your toes again and dancing across the floor.
You found yourself smiling slightly as you moved gracefully, your arms and legs knowing what to do without you telling them. Dancing worked to relax you now just as it had when you’d been a teenager, the familiar burn in your limbs that meant you were working hard still providing some comfort.
Losing your concentration briefly, you slipped, and your ankle bent beneath you. A cry nearly escaped your lips as you crashed to the floor, your right ankle already throbbing carefully. The pain distracted you from the sound of someone coming down the stairs behind you.
“Shit,” you murmured, examining your ankle gingerly.
“Are you alright?” came a gentle voice from the shadows. You looked up in fright, immediately on the defensive.
“Fitz? Why are you up?” you asked innocently, as if you weren’t sitting on the floor in your pyjamas with a clearly injured ankle.
“I heard you trying to kill a punching bag, thought I should come check up on you,” he smiled, crouching beside you. “I didn’t know you were a dancer.”
“Red Room,” you told him, wincing and trying to hide your pain as he checked your ankle. “They used to teach us ballet, it was kind of like a cover-up for the fact that they were teaching girls to be killers.”
“Well you’re good at it,” he said sincerely. “The dancing, I mean. I know you fell, but you were doing well before that.”
You chuckled. “Thanks.”
“It’s only sprained,” he confirmed, gesturing to your ankle. “Maybe take a break from missions for a couple of weeks, just in case.”
You smiled slightly. “I think I’ll pass on the break from missions, but can you maybe help me up?”
“Oh, of course. Sorry.” He slung one of your arms around his shoulders, his other arm wrapping around your waist as you struggled to your feet.
“Sorry for waking you,” you said quietly as the two of you moved slowly over to the staircase. Fitz shook his head, smiling softly.
“It’s good that you did. You might have been stuck down there all night otherwise,” he joked. You laughed softly.
“Well thank you anyway.”
The two of you stopped laughing as you reached the bottom of the spiral stairs, quickly realising it would be impossible to get back up them with Fitz helping you walk.
“I could wake Ward, we could get him to carry you up?” he suggested. You shook your head hastily.
“There is no way in hell that Ward is carrying me. I’d like to maintain a sliver of dignity.”
He chuckled. “Okay, I can see where you’re coming from with that. Hang on, I’ll get blankets. I’ll stay down here with you tonight.”
“You don’t have to stay with me, Fitz,” you told him, catching his hand as he set you down on the floor carefully and turned to go up the stairs. He stared at where your hand held his for a few moments, and it seemed as if he was blushing. He cleared his throat slightly, looking up and meeting your eyes with a soft smile.
“Sure I do.”

(Hi, me again! Please, please tell me what you thought of this in my ask, and feel free to make a request! Thanks for reading!)

Okay Demi. Stop and back the fuck up. I love you girl, but srsly this is too cringe to me. It’s like you ex-teacher drooling over you once you’ve graduated. Your REALLY hot teacher, but that’s not the point. 😂😁🙈 Bad Demi.

Plus Lauren’s showing support for Halsey earlier 👀 I dreamt they collab then got high together so it now needs to happen, but back of the booty it belongs to cameeeela.

forbidden love chapter six {demi lovato fanfiction}

“what did you get?” jace ask as we both make our way back to the table where demi sits poking at her ice cream. i take the seat next to hers. “strawberry.” i inform him watching as he tries to get comfortable on the metal chair. they both make a face disapproving my choice in dessert favor. “whats wrong with strawberry?!” i say a little too defensive. “the strawberries are always way too frozen.” demi smiles watching me nearly bend my spoon in the frozen fruit. jace joins in saying,” you could chip a tooth.”  demi just stares at him realizing they agree on something for the first time in weeks. jace looks at demi to agree but she ignores him. “i still love it despite its critics.” i reply taking a spoonful into my mouth looking at both of them, trying to bite into the very frozen piece.

“what time did they say to be home?” i ask while checking the time on my phone. “7.” she sighs. i glance down to “5:45″ shining back at me. both pair of parents are preparing dinner for tonight, they all thought it would be a amazing idea to have the three of us go out for “bonding time” with each other. i imagine the four of them sitting in the living room with wine glasses talking about the most boring of topics laughing at the fact this “bonding time” is just an excuse for the adults to have adult time. jace had the idea of ice cream since demi suggested digging our graves rather then spending time with him. “what now?” demi says swirling her plastic spoon into the melted colored ice cream. “arcade?” jace suggests. “ill go get the shovel now.” demi shoots back. jace laughs but we both know shes slightly serious. “the arcade sounds fine.” i reply picking up my cup along with demis. “if were twelve.” demi mutters. i push my hips against her reaching for jaces cup. i feel demis hand on my ass as i reach forward. i can only imagine what shes thinking.

the arcade has way too many people if anyone else enters the walls might burst. “oh look!!.” demi shouts over the loud music. i give her a confused look. “a twelve year old!” she sarcastically says. “oh look another one and another!!” demi says pointing to random people not paying attention to age at this point. “we get it!” i shout loudly pushing her hand down. jace stops at a shooting game jamming four coins into the slit not giving attention to either of us. demi spots something near the back, she guides me towards it. “look.” she says softly. “if you say another twelve yea-” “no.” she smiles interrupting me. our hands lock together as we enter the small photo booth. “this isnt going to work.” i say looking at the small seat meant for a child. “sit on mamas lap.” demi jokes pulling me on top of her. my ass is directly on her crotch. “mama likes.” she whispers pulling my dress up my legs. “demi.” i whisper pulling the hideous red curtain across giving us some privacy. “i only have enough for one strip.” demi tells me pulling out the right amount leaning forward pushing the coins in the slot. “lets make it count.” she smiles. the countdown begins the first photo is us looking at each other our eyes full of lust our faces only inches apart. she leans forward pushing her warm lips on mine, i cup her face wanting more. with the second snap of the camera i quickly pull one leg over her lap straddling her, my arms wrap around her neck her hands travel to my waist dragging me forward. third snap goes off. my arms lift to the roof of the small booth. demi pulls down my dress exposing my breasts. she licks my nipples, wrapping her lips around my breasts. i let go of a loud moan feeling her teeth bite down. the fourth and final snap goes off. the machine sings robotic noises printing our filthy pictures. “we both know which pair i want.” demi laughs pulling up my dress. when we make our way out i grab the strip tearing right down the middle. i purposely give her the first two. “nice try.” she smiles snatching the other half from my hand. 

by 7 we are back at jaces house gathering around the dinner table as nina rushes to get the forks. “so sorry for the mess.” nina apologizes passing her husband reaching to the drawer. the only “messy” thing i see is the pile of dish towels near the sink.  “nonsense.” my mom smiles taking a seat next to eric. “please take those dear.” nina tells jace pointing towards the napkins. he places them in the middle of the table then takes the seat in front of me. 

“are you excited for school?” nina asks me while scooping a large portion of peas from the light blue bowl. just before i answer demis hand slithers into my lap. i grab her wrist holding it in place as i try my best to focus on nina. “umm yes.” i say feeling her fingertips tracing my skin. “iam sure jace will be a gentleman by showing you around willow high.” nina smiles looking to her son, jace forces a small smile while poking at his pot roast. “oh and of course you as well demi.” she goes on realizing she left her out.“ “ill be just fine but thanks.” demi shoots back in her sarcastic tone we all know well. minutes go by while eric and charlie absorb into conversation about some kind of new model airplane being released. charlie although a soft spoken man who never really speaks much was very chatty when it came to the things he was passionate about. erics tone filled with joy as they go on and on about the details in the new model that is said to be out during the winter months. “y/n jace never told me how the date went.” nina brings up suddenly creating an awkward friction between me and demi. her hand slides away from my lap slowly. i look over towards her but she doesnt return a glance. “its was really nice.” i reply clearing my throat. “where did he take you?” nina asks ignoring jace as he makes a remark telling his mother to stop. “the diner.” i say softly watching her joyful mood change. she looks towards jace, giving him a soft smile. i catch demi roll her eyes. i lay my hand on hers but she soon retracts. “you must be very special.” nina softly whispers leaning towards me. jace tries his hardest not to make eye contact with me. “please tell me there is going to be a second date.” nina laughs. “thats up to jace.” i smile making my heart hurt watching demi. “oh he will be happy to a second date…. wont you jace?” she pushes the question on him. “yeah of course.” he agrees probably wishing his mom would stop.

demi sighs loudly getting ninas attention immediately.  “is something wrong with the meal?” nina asks which makes my insides twist together nervous of what demi might say next. she shakes her head slowly. “its just the conversations.” demi sighs swirling her fork in her mash potatoes. “oh honey i know model planes can be very boring in my opinion.” nina smiles crinkling her nose at eric and charlie at the other end of the table. eric and charlie give no attention to nina as they fanboy on. “thats not the conversation i was talking about.” demi replies not looking at anyone. nina gives a quick look between me and jace before saying,” oh sweetheart. its okay to feel envious. not everyone can have the y/n looks honey some arent as blessed as others.”  “nina!” my mom shouts which makes the men stop their chattering. the looks on their faces tell me they heard ninas comment. “what?” she says innocently. “everyone understands her jealously at this. but the fact is y/n has the looks in this duo and jace likes her very much.” nina nods looking to everyone as if everyone here has the same opinion as hers. jace looks horrified at his mothers words.  “jealous.” demi nearly laughs. “i would never be jealous of this.” demi snaps standing pointing between us. “its just an act… at least i hope.” she whispers in the most softest tone ive ever heard from her. demi disappears through the kitchen and i follow her without hesitation. as i reach the door i hear my mom begin to protest defending demi. 

she is pacing the room when i enter. “who the hell does she think she is?!” demi shouts. i close the door softly locking it. “demi.” i say softly. “she actually thinks iam jealous!” she laughs stopping in front of me then going back to her pacing. “demi!” i say loudly grabbing her wrist. “i am not jealous of jace!” she goes on trying to make her point. “i didnt say you were.”  “well someone thinks i am.” demi sighs walking towards the medium size window. i stand behind her running my hands up to her chest. “you know what might make you feel better?” i ask leaning my head against her back. “naughty girl.” she whispers pulling me around her roughly pushing me against the wall. her lips crash against mine while she reaches for her desk drawer yanking it open. her hands grab my favorite toy getting rid of any clothes she begins tightening it around her waist. “take them off.” she mutters tugging on my shorts. lifting my shirt i slip my shorts off kicking them behind her. “jump.” she smiles i do as told as she slams into me.  “baby please wait!!” i scream holding onto demi so i wont slip off her. she has me pinned against the wall with my legs wrapped tightly around her waist as the massive strap on is rammed into me. “who. does. she. think. she. is!!” demi mutters each word equals one hard thrust deep inside me. i let out a loud moan throwing my head back. “and you!” she barely screams grabbing my ass. “demi baby i told you nothing is …. fuckkkk please keep going!!” i beg as she hits my favorite spot. “why should i your being a slut.” demi says pulling out an inch. “pleasee!” i beg craving my high. “no.” she spits letting her grip go. “demi!” i nag she pushes me down on my knees. “suck slut.” she demands pushing my face towards the dildo standing tall from her waist. my lips wrap around the toy i instantly taste my juices. i suck hard not like she can feel it or anything but she enjoys the view so might as well give her one. “look at you slut tasting yourself you like that dont you?” demi smiles thrusting into my mouth causing an involuntary gag. “stand up.” i do as told wiping my lower lip. she pins me against the wall again, our naked bodies smash together i feel the toy against my pussy lips never entering me. demis lips are on mine our tongues slide into each others mouth. she begins to rock her hips making the cock toy slide slowly into me then pulling out. i whimper trying to push down onto it. “no no no.” she whispers into my ear. “you have to work for it.” demi smiles sucking on my neck. she moves over to the bed motioning me to lay down. i follow her orders laying with my legs hanging off the bed a little. she pulls me down to where it is only my upper body on the lavender throw blanket. she says nothing while she lifts my legs in the air thrusting into me with an intense amount of force. i scream out grabbing onto her. she smiles watching my reaction as i take the whole toy inside me nice and slow. “mmmmm fuck demi yesss baby.” i whimper once again wrapping my legs around her wanting her closer than ever. she lays on top of me thrusting deep inside me hitting the spot she knows all too well. before i moan out her lips are on mine and we both make moaning noise together. she must feel it too with the toy inside her. both of our hands intertwine with each others as we feel our favorite feeling about to take over. “oh my god! “ demi mumbles into my mouth. thats when i feel my high hit i scream into our kiss while the juices mix together as demi still thrusts into me. i pull away heavily breathing not letting her go just yet. “demi…. iam yours.” i whisper moving her hair that has fallen in between us. “i know babe i know…. i want you all to myself i dont like sharing.” she mutters pecking my lips. i say nothing as we hear the front door open along with our parents voices. “this second date is never happening.” demi smiles. “agreed.” i laugh pulling her in for another kiss. 

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ 

hope you all like it!! tell me what you think!!  😊 thanks for reading ! && let me know if you want a chapter seven!!  😀 😀  ❤xxx

J’ai regardé l’élection de Miss France 2017...

Bon, je sais les gens, là j'ai abusé. Là, ça fait beaucoup trop longtemps que je n’ai rien écrit. J'ai honte. Pour ma défense, j'ai eu tout un tas de trucs à gérer, le manque de temps et le boulot étant probablement le seul facteur dont j'ai envie de vous parler.

Mais j'ai décidé de reprendre. Et quoi de mieux pour le faire, que l'émission télé de l'année, celle qui incarne à elle toute seule, l'uniformisation de l'image de la femme dans la société, les clichés sur sa soi-disant bienséance morale, le fait de se servir du corps de la femme pour générer du blé tout en faisant passer celle-ci pour une ravissante idiote, je veux bien entendu parler de l'élection de Miss France 2017 que j'ai eu l'infini plaisir teinté d'exaspération de regarder pour vous.

Vous sentez déjà le malaise. Honnêtement je ne sais pas à quel moment j'ai eu le plus de peine pour elles. Quand je les ai vues dans ces déguisement grotesques multicolores qui déclencheraient une colique néphrétique à Cristina Cordula ou encore quand je les ai vues se trémousser sur Papa Pingouin dans des costumes fort heureusement un tantinet moins moches.


Autant vous l'avouer tout de suite, des élections de Miss France j'en avais vu beaucoup à une époque. Car moi aussi comme beaucoup de candidates l'ont dit je regardais Miss France étant petite fille en rêvant d'y participer un jour. Puis, le féminisme est passé par là. Autant vous dire, que c'est la première élection que je regarde depuis un certain temps et je suis très fière de vous dire que maintenant au lieu de noter les miss sur 20 (oui j'ai vraiment fait ça à une époque et oui j'ai expié mes fautes depuis donc chut) j'ai passé l'élection entière à me dire « non mais sérieusement….».

Rien a vraiment changé, ceci dit. L'émission commence avec le portrait des 30 candidates, où chacune d'entre elles se présente, dit ce qu'elle fait dans la vie, nous raconte le moment so fabulous qu'a été son élection à la couronne régionale, nous impressionne avec l'immense responsabilité d'être Miss France (je vous assure qu'on a déjà vu un chirurgien faire un pontage coronarien et se la ramener moins que ça) et nous dit qu'elle aimerait se battre contre le cancer, la sclérose en plaques, pour les enfants malades et tout un cas d'autres causes dont TF1 n'a rien à cirer mais bon il faut bien faire genre que cette vaste blague ne sert pas qu'à montrer des femmes légèrement vêtues à une heure de grande écoute. Le tout en faisant des poses « naturelles » dans les décors de leur région et de la Réunion où les miss sont parties en voyage.

Cette année, ils ont quand même fait très fort en ouvrant chaque portrait avec un plan où la miss virevolte avec un air candide toute de blanc vêtue sur une balancoire de synthèse à fleurs. Le summum de la niaiserie.


Elles ont globalement rien dit de très intéressant, à noter quand même quelques perles :

Miss Franche-Comté à réussi à dire que Miss France devait être le reflet  d'une génération de femmes accomplies et qu'elle espérait réduire les inégalités hommes/femmes.

Très clairement c'est raté. Il n'y a rien d'accompli dans l'image de 30 nanas ne représentant qu'un seul type de physique qui se baladent en troupeau habillées pareil, et à qui on a retiré tout ce qui les rend uniques.

Miss Auvergne nous a expliqué quant à elle qu'au lieu de fondre en larmes, elle a été prise d'un fou rire le soir de son élection.

J'imagine que c'est ce qu'on appelle un éclair de lucidité, n'est-ce-pas ? Il faudrait quand même rappeler que l'individu homo sapiens de sexe féminin n'a pas que l'option « fondre en larmes » dans son catalogue quand on lui apprend quelque chose qui lui fait plaisir. Ça me semble important.

Miss Poitou-Charentes pense que l'influence de Miss France est énorme, elle a la possibilité de faire changer plein de choses.

C'est le moment de la soirée où le conseil d'administration de TF1, à grande majorité masculin rigole doucement pour des raisons que j'ai déjà évoquées ci-dessus.

Miss Rhône-Alpes voudrait que son élection puisse amorcer un changement dans les clichés sur l'image de la femme que la société continue à perpétuer.

C'est tellement ironique que je sais même plus quoi dire . Je pense quant à moi m'engager dans la manif pour tous parce que les droits de la communauté LGBT comptent beaucoup pour moi.

Mais celle qui a probablement le plus pété un câble, c'est la présidente du jury Arielle Dombasle. Le côté positif, c'est qu'elle avait l'air ravie d'être là. Le côté un peu moins bien, c'est qu'on se demande ce qu'elle a pris avant de venir. Et quand Jean-Pierre Foucault lui pose la question qui demeure un mystère pour moi à savoir « que faut-il attendre d'une Miss France ? » sa réponse reflète parfaitement l'absurdité de toute cette élection.

« Il faut tout attendre d'une Miss France [rien que ça], c'est à dire que la beauté c'est tout un réseau complexe de choses et c'est la beauté de l'âme, la beauté du corps, la gaiété, l'élégance, la voix et c'est représenter quelque chose qui reste finalement un mystère. La beauté c'est un mystère.Et là on est en face de toute une..une..enfin on a le vertige tellement les unes sont plus belles que les autres et il va falloir choisir. »

Voilà et on a même voulu attendre de Miss France à un moment donné qu'elle arrête de faire caca, parce que le caca rentre pas franchement dans le réseau complexe de la beauté, mais fort heureusement ils ont arrêté la fumette à temps.

L'élection s'est poursuivie avec le traditionnel défilé en costumes régionaux puis le traditionnel défilé en maillot de bain, qui bien sûr ne peut se concevoir sans l'annonce préalable de Jean-Pierre Foucault.

« Elles tombent les capes, et se dévoilent en maillot de bain pour notre plus grand plaisir » avec le petit sourire de gros lourd qui va bien.



Voilà, ça c'est fait. Le moment est à présent venu de connaître les 12 candidates retenues pour la suite du concours. Vous savez le moment, où JPF, Sylvie Tellier et la Miss France de l'année précédente appellent les 12 nanas qui se ramènent devant la scène avec un sourire figé parce qu'apparemment elles ont à peine le droit de montrer qu'elles sont contentes.



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Agnès Varda b.  30 May, 1928

Varda was born Arlette Varda to Greek and French parents. She is the first cousin once removed of the painter Jean Varda who was the subject of her 1967 documentary Uncle Yanco

In 1954, eschewing the more conventional career path of camera assistant working their way up to director, Varda shot her first film La Pointe Courte. The film was screened at the 1955 Cannes Film Festival and is considered a precursor to the French New Wave film movement causing Varda to be dubbed “the grandmother of New Wave” despite the fact that many of the New Wave directors were her contemporaries. 

Her 1962 film Cléo de 5 à 7 competed for the Palme d’or at the Cannes Film Festival. For her 1965 film Le Bonheur Varda won the Prix du jury at the Berlin Film Festival. 

Varda worked steadily throughout her career but her films did not often break through to mainstream success. She was only nominated once for a César Best Director award (for her 1985 film Vagabond, which she did not win). 

In 2000 she filmed the documentary The Gleaners & I, about scavengers living on the outskirts of society. Prior to this period she was known more for being the wife of fellow filmmaker Jacques Demy however the critical success caused Varda’s work to be critically reappraised and interest in her to renew. Following this period she began to receive many honorary awards including an honorary César in 2001 and an honorary Palme d’or from the Cannes Film Festival in 2015.

fouette/a la seconde pirouettes

probably the most recognized pirouettes, and the most fun and badass when executed correctly. here’s my advice for tackling them and improving :)

first and foremost: there is not secret hack to getting excellent pirouettes. you have your technique, you do the exercises a million times, and you see improvement.

BASIC TECHNIQUE

  • your core is your best friend, strengthen it!! engage it!! without it, you cannot maintain the balance and alignment required for these turns
  • spotting is a basic, make sure you are not being lazy, especially if you are trying to hit doubles or triples
  • PULL UP. the amount of times i have seen dancers struggle and make mistakes that can easily be fixed with turnout and pulling up is frustrating
  • work on your balance! if you are starting fouettes/als or are simply not a natural turner, work on your balance in demi and full pointe (if you’re en pointe.) i don’t care if you balance in the kitchen, in your bedroom, out on the street, use a shopping cart as a makeshift barre, work on your balance, find that perfect spot where your alignment is correct (please educate yourselves on the anatomical midline.) and please let go of the barre before the second coming of Jesus, you will never improve your balance if you wait for the perfect moment because IT DOES NOT EXIST

BARRE

  • relevé like there is no tomorrow. the thing that makes fouettes or als turns difficult is that you lower your heel in between each pirouette as your leg is whipping around. if you can’t releve without falling or hopping around in center, you won’t be able to pull it off turning, so please work on this
    • relevé with two hands on the barre, then two fingers, then no hands.
  • my personal favorite exercise for mimicking the motion of the fouette without the turn goes as follows: 
    • first position, demi plie supporting leg, fondu, extend, open to second, relevé into passé, balance AND LET GO OF THE DAMN BARRE.
    • a variation of this: supporting leg in demi plie, working leg extended to the front, open to second, relevé to passé, balance. when you feel ready, change the balance to a pirouette. remember, fouette means to whip, but you don’t want to whack your leg out to the side and compromise your alignment. whip to your second, who gives a shit about 180 degrees honestly.

CENTER

  • when you are comfortable with fouettes at the barre and they are pretty solid, it’s time to try them in center. please don’t be scared, if you fall it’s okay, we have all fallen, it just means you are trying and are probably using a lot of force which is good for multiple pirouettes (insert thumbs up emoji here)
  • ideally, you want to have multiple pirouettes under your belt, a double will suffice, but i have seen people bang out fouettes and als from a single so do what works for you.
  • think about your supporting leg, your energy should be shooting down from the top of your head down into the floor, whatever you do, don’t overthink the whipping leg
  • work from your second. if you are doing als turns (pumps i think comp dancers call them) you will find out very quickly you cannot drop or lift your leg without messing up your alignment. remember: the goal here is not a high extension. however, a low leg does not look as impressive as a solid 90 degree one. your degree of turnout still applies here. if you are not 180 degrees, don’t force your leg. you are literally fucking up your momentum.
  • hit your natural passe! don’t lift the knee and disconnect! this will for sure throw off your balance and it will look ugly
  • dont lower your passe either because you are scared, technique is important and fouettes are not in coupe okay
  • remember turnout, balance, core, chest, and spotting. make it your goal to hit a good solid 5. it takes time, patience, and hard work. you are a dancer, you know this. please don’t be discouraged if you struggle at first.
  • you can ask a classmate or your teacher to watch you and give you notes. don’t forget the notes they give you, apply them and be aware of your body because it gets annoying fast when you receive the same critique over and over. 

TROUBLESHOOTING

  • if you are falling to the side, forward, or backwards, your alignment is off. watch yourself in the mirror
  • if you are not getting around, you are not using your momentum from the whipping leg. you can’t be flimsy here, pull up and whip it.
  • if you are hopping/travelling, work on you ankle strength
  • if you are falling out, you are not spotting, go back to the barre
  • if you feel like you are using a lot of energy and it’s not happening, check your core. are you engaging your abs? is your rib cage in? sacrum down? pelvis forward? chest open and facing up?

lastly, everyone’s body is different, i cannot give personalized advice without having watched you. this is very general very basic advice, so if you want more specific help and you can verbalize it, don’t hesitate to ask! i will do my best to help you out, but don’t forget your teacher can do a lot more than i can via the internet. SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, GO FORTH AND DANCE! MESS UP! don’t give up, you WILL get there, and one day you’ll be hitting those 32!

My Everyday Conditioning Exercises

Today has been one of those really productive days. I got up early and started the day with conditioning exercises, which I’m trying to do every morning now that my schedule is a little more manageable. I thought I would share my daily exercise routine with you, because they’re the sort of exercises and stretches that when done regularly make a dramatic difference to your technique. I got many of these exercises from Clarissa May’s YouTube videos, which I highly recommend! I just modified them to suit me, combined them with some of my own, and compiled it all into a routine I can do every day.

This routine is designed for someone who is already relatively strong and flexible- if you find any of these too hard right now, just modify them to make them easier or swap that exercise/ stretch for a less intense version. If you’re super strong and flexible, you can find variations on these exercises to make them more difficult. I find that this takes me between 90 minutes and 2 hours to complete- I allow 2 hours so that I don’t have to rush. I have the luxury of being able to do these in the morning, because I live opposite my ballet school and don’t have to be in until 10am, but any time of the day is fine- the key is doing them every day, or as many times a week as possible! I do my exercises after getting ready for class, but before breakfast.

ABS: I start by following an abs workout on an app on my phone- you can also find 5- 10 minute ab workouts on YouTube.

TURNOUT

Butterfly stretch; lean forward with a straight lower back. Hold 30 secs.
Frog stretch 30 secs. Keep legs in frog and arch back into seal stretch, hold 30 secs and lower. In frog, try to lift right knee 5 times, then left, then both.
Bum stretches
If there’s room, start sitting up with legs straight out in front. Open legs to middle splits, roll forwards and bring legs into frog behind. Reverse and repeat 3 times.
Use theraband to practice lifting and lowering leg to passé with resistance.
EXTENSIONS

Middle lunges to both sides, and middle splits, holding 40 seconds each
Go to barre (or chair etc.) and use hand to help lift leg as high as possible, keeping hip down and legs straight and turned-out, and ribs in. Let go of leg, then let go of barre. Repeat other side.
Side plank on each side, adding 5 seconds every day.
SPLITS (I have added extra time for my left leg as this is my less flexible leg and I am working towards evening them)

Lunge right leg front 30 secs. Lunge left leg 40 secs.
Sitting hamstring stretch 30 secs.
Seal stretch 30 secs, then child’s pose 30 secs.
Middle lunges again, 10 secs each side.
Hold middle splits for 1 minute. Stretch to the right side and hold for 30 secs, then the same on the left. Walk forwards and hold for 40 seconds. Straighten knees completely, lifting feet to stretch hyperextension (Do NOT do this if you do not have naturally hyperextended knees as you will cause damage)
Hold right leg front splits for 1 minute. Flex right foot, hold it (/pull upwards if knees are hyperextended) and put head on leg- hold for 30 secs. Stretch backwards as far as possible and hold 40 secs. Repeat left, but hold splits for 90 seconds instead of 1 minute to begin with.
Start stretching over splits on something small, and keep increasing in size.
ARABESQUE

Seal stretch as far as possible 30 secs
Arabesque lifts, facing barre/ chair lift leg as high as possible in arabesque maintaining turnout, straight knees, pointed foot and hold back up. Lift and lower with control- start with 10 and increase. Repeat other leg.
Slow back lifts lying on the floor- start with 10 and add.
Lift back as high as possible, put arms in 3rd position (or 5th) and hold for 20 seconds. Add 5 seconds every day, then when it’s easy, add holds in with the back lifts.
Back lifts in frog stretch positon: start with 10 then add.
Seal stretch, bend knees, grab ankles and try to put ankles on shoulders. I can’t actually do this yet but I try every day!
Stand facing barre and pull leg up behind you into full standing split. Let go and try to hold- repeat both sides.
For needle: right-leg front splits, lean back and grab left leg, pulling head towards that back leg. Be very very careful not to pinch your back doing this. Repeat other side.
Child’s pose 1 minute. Then stand up, slouch the shoulders a lot and lean to one side- you should get a great back stretch.
JUMPS

30 plie- releves
20 ankle rolls each way, on each foot
Downward dog: lift right leg to 180 degrees and pulse for 30 secs, then repeat left. Then grande battement in this position, lowering with control, 20 times on each leg.
FEET AND POINTE

Roll out bottom of feet with foot massager or tennis ball
Stretch calfs and achilles
Standing on a balance disk, stand on 1 foot with the other in parallel sur le coup de pied and rock slowly from ball to heel for 30 seconds, then repeat on the other leg. Add 5 seconds every day.
Sit on the floor with legs out in front. Wrap a medium or thick theraband around toes. Point and flex 10 times each foot. 10 point and flex, keeping toes down and just moving ankle. Point and flex 10 times keeping toes lifted in demi pointe. 20 circles each way. Winging 10 times each foot.
Scrunch up a towel or cloth using only one foot, then the other. 20 arch lifts each foot.
40 releves in 1st poition, then 20 on each foot with the other foot in a turned-out sur le coup de pied position.
Stand in 2nd position on demi-pointe and shift weight from side-to-side, pushing the toes off the ground, 30 times.
30 tendus to each side.
PUT POINTE SHOES ON

Walk through shoes in parallel, then bend knees, roll on to pointe, straighten knees and lower slowly, 10 times. Repeat in 1st position.
20 releves on each foot with the other foot in a turned-out sur le coup de pied position.
20 releves in first position.
20 tendus to each side, working through the shoe, then when foot is extended in tendu, spring from demi to full pointe. Do 4 sets of 8 on each side.
Push over the shoe, holding for 30 secs, then straighten knee but try to keep foot in position. Repeat to other side, and front and back both sides.
Cross one led over the other and plie in parallel to stretch foot, keeping weight over big toe, Repeat other foot.
Remove shoes and stretch calves.
Now you’re done! You can do part or all of these exercises, but do some every day and you’ll really notice a change. Don’t forget to drink loads of water during and after! In addition to these exercises I’ll do at least one 90 minute class a day, and on some days when I have the time I try to do another workout, such as a run, swimming, pilates or the gym.

I hope this was helpful, keep dancing!

Jessica x

The Little Things

Scenario

You had started playing a game called Demi Lovato : Path to Fame and had slowly became obsessed. Jay had of course hated it but then slowly became as obsessed as you were. (These are just snippets of events and it is just basically fluff because I can’t help but see Jay as the type of guy who would do anything to make his girlfriend happy)

You laid on your side with your left hand cuddled in between the pillow and your left temple, your right hand holding onto your phone; your finger tapping on the screen slowly. Jay’s right hand was wrapped around your waist his left holding up his head. You could feel his breath against your ear and as he nibbled on your ear from time to time, his thumb rubbing circles on your left hipbone. The two of you were snuggled against each other for quite some times, dropping comments and giggles here and there. It was the perfect position for the both of you.

It had been somewhat of a routine whenever he stayed over at your place or you stayed over at his place. Given it had been rather hard to even get together these past few weeks, him with his busy schedules with his new album released and you with your preparations for your new album.

“This guy will probably be the third person.” Jay commented as you tapped on your screen again continuing with the game.

Keep reading

Okay if I was going to write another long au fic after switchblade it would obviously be the Foxes as ballet dancers enrolled in PSU’s infamous ‘half-way house’ of a performing arts program:

• Kevin was one of the best dancers ever produced by Edgar Allen’s prestigious performing arts program, second only to Riko Moriyama, until he broke his foot in a skiing accident and abruptly transferred to PSU.  Edgar Allen produces ballet dancers who all go into professional companies, ultra-strict and dedicated and obsessive – so not at all different to canon!Kevin. he didn’t think he would ever dance on demi-pointe again so he took a job as a teacher at PSU under Wymack (his father), but every night he goes to a studio and pushes himself until he can’t anymore so he can get back out on the stage where he has to be

• Dan knew she needed to be a good enough dancer to get into a college program on scholarship, so she threw herself into it with single-minded determination even if people told her that she wasn’t the ‘right type’ (black, short, not the ‘right’ body type because she isn’t willowy, from a poor upbringing). she spent her time a school wincing whenever someone called her a dancer, unsure if they knew that she was working nights at a strip club – not because she was ashamed, but because she knew it would affect her chances of getting where she needed to go to get out of her tiny dead-end hometown. she’s a ballet dancer, skilled and graceful, but her sisters taught her a few tips for the stage that she uses even now. not just dick-punching assholes with high heels, either

• Allison was sent to ballet lessons right from when she was a tiny tot in a tutu, but when her ambitions for doing it professionally started to grow her parents tried to steer her into a more conventional career; namely, the one they picked for her. Allison chose her own freedom at the price of her family and went to PSU instead. she still drives a pink convertible and kicks ass, a picture-perfect blonde ballerina with a talent for ballroom – she makes Matt partner her because they make such a pretty picture

• Matt got into dance through ballroom classes that his father suggested he take for ‘culture’ but his talent meant he was encouraged into ballet pretty early on. he’s going places, but it’s only after Kevin joins the Foxes that he really starts to flourish into the best dancer the Foxes have. he’s the favourite partner of all the girls because he’s not a solo-focussed douchebag like Kevin and Seth or a regular douchebag like the monsters

• Renee started dancing later in life, introduced to it by her foster mother Stephanie, so she learnt a lot of styles in rapid succession before focussing on ballet. she really likes historical dance and liturgical dance as well. she isn’t the ‘right type’ either, but she was too good for Wymack to turn down – she had good teachers. she probably does at least one routine with Andrew where they mimic each other perfectly

• Nicky took up dance even though his parents didn’t really approve of it – they thought it was too ‘flamboyant’ but after he’d renounced his sexuality they were so proud that they let him rejoin the school program. his dance teacher was the one who got him into the program in Germany where he met Eric. he’d given up on it for a few years living with the twins, but the offer of returning to it while getting all his college fees paid off and keeping his family together was too good to turn down. he can be elegant on stage, tall and athletic, and he learnt a whole bunch of Latin dances because everyone said he should. he’s the most likely to be goofy at practices, and he has a whole list of unusual dance styles that he’ll imitate to get a laugh

• Aaron only got into dance because it kept him out of the house and away from his mother, but he’s not too bad either. more importantly, it was fun and he liked it – more than school, more than the booze, more than drugs. he did classes in ballet and contemporary but obviously he prefers street dance despite being a five-foot blonde boy because he has a thinly-disguised attitude problem as bad as Josten’s and he likes music that sounds like a fight

• Andrew. did one of his very early foster-parents get him involved in dance? yes. did later foster-parents deride him for his interest until he pretended to hate it, and then until he actually did hate it? yes. did Cass encourage him to get back into it? yes. was it his lifeline through drake, through juvie, and through aaron and tilda? hell yes. would he ever admit that to anyone? hell nO.

• he’s pure grace and power on stage when he chooses to actually dance, but the drugs they put him on to control him mean he usually won’t. even when kevin threatens him (especially when kevin threatens him). he’s mind-blowingly talented but will only dance contemporary

• Neil is a mish-mash of different styles, picked up all over the show while he was on the run with his mother.  dance was easier to to than play exy, even if he had to lie about it to his mom. he loves it, he loves it, he loves it (and he’s obsessed). his true love is contemporary, but the video of him doing ballet routines in Arizona is what caught Kevin’s eye. Kevin knew they needed to recruit this man who poured out everything on the stage. and you can bet that Neil was still HORRIFIED to see Kevin Day when they corner him and offer him a place with the Foxes because the Butcher is still the Butcher, and Neil still needs to Kevin to stay the hell away from him so he doesn’t get murdered

• he stills signs tho – Neil still wants a home, and he wants to dance. he and Andrew probably still fight like crazy, and then do a tension-heavy contemporary duet and make-out in a practice room in front of the mirrors because why tf not

• do the Yakuza care about ballet? I do not know??
• there’s no plot to this because I am NOT writing it