i'm sorry you're getting a bunch of gatekeepers coming after you. i'm agender, and butch. not a woman (or a man), not a lesbian... but butch. so thank you for standing firm, i really appreciate you and i hope you don't let them get you down.
I will defend to the death the right of members of the LGBTQ community to own our experiences. I’m not… old per se, but I’m definitely old enough to remember when there weren’t commonly accepted words for what I am. And I grew up in the middle of the first LGBTQ synagogue in the US– I had role models, I had people who accepted me and shared information with me and were willing to help me figure myself out. I was exposed to the community’s vocabulary early and often, and it was still complicated as fuck to figure out.
Butch/Femme dynamics were a clearly demarcated space for me to figure out what the actual fuck was going on with my sexuality and with my body. It’s an identity I can’t put away, because my experience of my masculine gender is inextricably tangled with my understanding of it as a non-male and lbpq experience.
Nonbinary, agender, bigender– the words didn’t exist for me as a kid and young teen. Butch DID.
If someone sees my comments and knows that there are LGBTQ people who aren’t going to try shoving them into the cold, heterosexual world for identifying the wrong way, then I’m doing my job.