delivery-driver

5

Get the door it’s Dominos.
Any Delivery Charge is not a tip paid to your driver. Please reward your driver for awesomeness. Our drivers carry less than $20.
What’s the coldest place you’ve ever been to?

ideal transition into post-capitalism

1.) Government subsidized dominoes pizza
2.) due to the high demand for dominos pizza, everyone can get a job as a dominos delivery driver

thats all ive got

Tear open our driveway to pour concrete? Fine, you'll probably enjoy having to dig the concrete out of the ground. Twice.

Not about me, but about a guy I used to work with. He was a mountain of a guy, a huge Turk, but the kindest guy I ever met. He’d do anything for people he liked. Nobody ever saw anybody get on this bad side until that fateful day.

As it happens, he was also our delivery driver, and he spent most days on the road in his semi, leaving before dawn and returning quite late, if at all that day. Our warehouse had a driveway large enough for him to pull the semi into, and load/unload.

The supermarket next door decided to do some renovations, and expand. When they started construction, they started tearing out their brick parking lot, and getting close to tearing out our driveway. Boss runs out, tells them where our property line is, and is assured they won’t cross onto our property. Everybody goes back inside, nobody worries, until there’s suddenly a raging bear-Turk standing in the break room, shouting about how the driveway has been torn up and he can’t get his lorry in. We go out, and indeed, the driveway is half missing, and there’s a concrete building foundation poured in. Construction workers are nowhere in sight, boss sends the supermarket manager an e-mail message, and everybody goes home.

Next day we arrive to the sight of very angry construction workers. Apparently, the delivery driver went back in the middle of the night with some bolt-cutters, ‘liberated’ about 30 of their shopping carts, and stuck them into the drying concrete in various comical positions. Overnight, the concrete hardened, and the carts became quite difficult to remove. Construction crew brings in the jackhammers, and four days later, most of the concrete is gone, and they start preparing for another pour, this time leaving our driveway intact. Foundation comes out fine, everything is looking good. At that time, my boss shows up with the announcement that he had a survey done, and while they didn’t tear open our driveway the second time, they were still closer to our property line than allowed, and he’d already filed a complaint to get the concrete removed. Took them another week of jack-hammering to get it out.

I would feel more compelled to order uber eats if the delivery driver could come into my room, puree my burger, and put it in my IV bag

Sacrifices

Prompt: Hello, please do an imagine where batsis is always sacrificing something for her family even if it costs her and the one time she needs them to do the same they do the same (ex. Their is someone she sees as a child and begs her family to help them but they don’t and that person dies). This ends up causing her to turn on them.

Requested by: ANON


    You tear open the bag of cookies with a viciousness that would surprise most people. You kick off your shoes, and purposefully leave them in the kitchen, before trotting into the entertainment room. You find the worst and bloodiest movie you can, pop it in, and hit play. You munch on your cookies, take sadistic glee in the demise of the stupid teenagers in the horror film and order Thai food.  

    The sound of shoes and talking hits your ears as you exchange one horror movie for another. You’re too mad to say hello, instead you plop back down open a soda and hit play. When you hear the talking over your movie you turn the sound up, and after giving it some thought you lock the door.

    You listen as they try opening it. And you ignore them when they start calling your name. Once again you turn the sound up. You only pause when you get a text from the delivery driver. Reluctantly you get up unlock the door, and pass by the men in your life without saying a word.

    You ignore all the questions, smile as you open the door and pay for your food, before tipping the driver generously. You pass by them again to the kitchen. You lay your food out, put together a plate, and you slap Damian’s hand when he reaches for one of your spring rolls.

    “My food not yours. Touch any of it and die.”

    You can feel shocked gazes on you, and you turn your glare on Alfred when he clears his throat. You can see the surprise on his face. You never look at him like that, but right now he’s one of them. “I was going to prepare dinner Ms. Wayne.”

    “I’m good. As you can see.” Without another word you return to the entertainment room. You can’t stop them from following you. You wish you could but you can’t. After several minutes Dick asks, “Is something wrong?”

    You consider playing it off, instead you pause the movie, set your food to the side and reach for the ridiculous hat you’d worn most of the day. You throw it right at his face. You feel your anger spike when he catches it. You see the realization in his and your brothers’ eyes at the sight of it.

    You hear Jason curse, as they all scramble to apologize you, you glare at them before yelling, “GET OUT!”

    You see them hesitate, before they decide to stand their ground. With a growl you take your plate and leave the room, before heading towards the stairs, “Ms. Wayne no food upstairs please.”

    You don’t even bother looking back, “Oh bite me Alfred.”

    “YN!” You wince as your father yells your name before turning to face him. “Apologize.”

    “No.”

    You watch his brow furrow, “What the hell has gotten into you?”

    You watch Dick pass him the cap, you watch his eyes widen, and then Alfred’s, “Oh baby.”

    “No.” You stop him before he can start, “No oh baby. I have sacrificed everything for this family. Birthdays, holidays, vacations, nights out with friends, a social life and all I ask for is one thing, for you ALL to be at my graduation. I became a doctor today, a profession I chose because of you all, and none of you were there. Not a one. I looked out into that crowd and none of you were there. So screw you, but I’m hurt. Because this is not my fault, and I am allowed to feel mad.”

    And without another word you make your way upstairs to your room.

Family Games’ Night

Originally posted by niklausxcaroline

Steve Harrington x Reader, Nancy Wheeler x Jonathan Byers

Length: 1428 words

Warnings: not really, just cute bbys playing DnD

When you’d first begun dating Steve Harrington, you didn’t think you would ever consider hanging out with a bunch of middle-schoolers ‘fun’. But, here you were, at the Wheeler’s house, ‘babysitting’ on a Friday night.

It started off with Dustin Henderson, AKA; the sweetest boy you’d ever met. The kid had a lisp (which stemmed from his cleidocranial dystosis), a passion for nerdy games and movies, and sometimes he tried to seem cooler than he was (although, you had a suspicion that was just to get girls’ attention). Dustin had almost literally adopted Steve as his older-male-authority-figure, and you were struck dumb by how seriously Steve actually took it. But, considering neither of them had siblings (and Steve parents were mostly absent, or dictating at him), unlike the rest of their friends, it hadn’t surprised you too much that they were so close.

Dustin had begun to appear in the backseat of Steve’s car, whenever Steve picked you up to go on a date or hang out. It mostly meant the two of you were dropping him off somewhere (which was usually the Wheeler’s, the Arcade, or the Byers’), but occasionally the three of you would go out for ice-cream, or for KFC. Secretly, your heart warmed at Steve’s interactions with the kid. Even more secretly, you wondered if he would be like that with other kids’ (maybe even yours, one day?).

Keep reading

I’m going to be home alone for most of the first month I’m in Chicago and knowing me I have a feeling I’m going to get very well acquainted with every pizza delivery driver in northern chicago

idk if this is intrusive thoughts or what but I’m the person who’s like what is the reason I happen to see this person like is our encounter going to be significant in some way?

Don't Mess With My Tip

LTL:FTP Mobile yadda yadda.

I work as a delivery driver for one of the bigger names in Pizza. Just pick one, you’ve got a 1 in 3 chance of being right.

Tonight I was delivering to one of the many hotels in our delivery range. It was pretty far, and the order was about $30, so I was feeling pretty confidant in a good tip.

I get to the door, and already I can smell it. You know what I’m talking about. I knock, and as I’m waiting I eye the ‘no smoking’ icon on the door, and the man who opens the door looks stoned out of his mind. Awesome, high people tend to tip even better!

Then he signs the paper, leaving the rest of it blank, takes the food, and closes the door.

… Seriously?

So I trudge back to the lobby, vindictiveness swirling in my mind. I approach the front desk, the best concerned/curious expression I can muster plastered across my face.

Me: Excuse me, this is a no smoking hotel, right?

FDA: Yes, it is.

Me: Oh… well then, you’ll want to charge (room I just delivered to) the cleaning fee.

FDA: Is that where that smell is coming from?! Thank you, we could smell it, but couldn’t pinpoint where it was coming from.

Me: No problem. Have a great night!

Hotel cleaning fees tend to be around $150. If he had just given at least some sort of tip, I would have kept my nose out of it.

TL:DR: Tip your drivers, folks! We’re a petty bunch!

Proximity (00)-Prologue

Prompt: Sebastian meets his newest neighbor and immediately finds her to be an interesting and genuine person. Before he knows it, he’s developing feelings for his much younger friend that he tries not to act on because of their age difference, only the proximity of their lives has other things in store for the couple.

Warnings: some language

A/N: Here is the prologue to the new Sebastian series I’m starting. Please let me know what you think. I hope this is something you’re all interested in.


Proximity (01)-My Place at Six, Proximity (02)-Just My Neighbor, Proximity (03)-Forty Percent, Proximity (04)-Writing My Goodbyes, Proximity (05)-If You Want, Proximity (06)-OblivionProximity (07)-IDFCProximity (08)-Last Night, Proximity (09)-Boo at the Zoo pt.1, Proximity (10)-Boo at the Zoo Pt.2, Proximity (11)-Girlfriend 


New York City was a much bigger place than (Y/N) had imagined it would be. She had been living in the city since she started her undergraduate degree but had been staying in a dorm throughout most of those years. It wasn’t until she contemplated continuing her education in graduate school that she actually decided it was time to find an apartment. She didn’t want to be one of those people in her early to mid twenties living in a dorm filled with eighteen and nineteen year-olds away from home for the first time in their lives. After searching endlessly for a descent place in a nice neighborhood and then a nice place in a descent neighborhood, she was given the opportunity to teach undergraduate survey level English courses at her university while she completed the department’s graduate program. With the extra source of income on top of her part-time job at the bookstore, she was able to afford rent on a nice place in a nice neighborhood; there was just one small problem.

For a steady month an a half, at the same time every night, without fail, the person who lived above her watches Netflix on a volume so loud it should blow the person’s eardrums out. At first she tried to ignore the inconsiderate individual above her, then came anger and she started poking at the ceiling with a broomstick or standing on a table and pounding her fist against her ceiling. After anger comes a long stint of passive aggressiveness where she would turn her TV on equally loudly or blast her music until she can’t hear the person above her anymore, but this only lead to people coming to her door and complaining about the volume of her electronics, which lead her to the most rational way to handle her problems.

Aggravated, (Y/N) stood in a pair of loose jogger sweatpants and a cropped shirt that didn’t expose any of her midsection. She was comfortably tasteful and would soon regret her choice of schlump clothes. Her fist pounded against the door, begging to be heard over what appeared to be prerecorded audience laughter. She quickly folded her arms over her chest and started tapping her foot, her impatience growing by the second. Just as she was about to bring her knuckles to the door again, she heard heavy footsteps making their way toward her.

The door crept open to reveal a tall man with thick brown hair and eyes so bright they outshines stars. “Can I help you?” a low, articulate voice flowed from the apartment and toward her ears.

“Um, hi,” she stated in a rather unsteady manner. Oh, fuck! That’s Sebastian Stan, her mind shouted as her eyes gapped at the man in front of her. “I’m (Y/N), I just moved in below you–” the man immediately nodded his head and offered her a small smile.

“You’re here about the volume aren’t you?” he grumbled with a laugh.

“Guilty,” she muttered in response, trying not to draw too much attention to the fact that her heart was pounding in her chest.

“I wish I could tell you there was something I could do about it, but I lost the remote and it’s one of those stupid new televisions that don’t have any buttons,” he sighed.

“How dare technology make TV buttons obsolete!” she scoffed, earning a small laugh from the she had admired from afar for so long. “If you have a smart phone I can show you how to program your phone to act as a TV remote.”

“Even if I have a Samsung TV and an iPhone?” he asked.

“Yes,” she chuckled, “even then.” Smiling, he stood aside and allowed the door to creep open even more.

“Please, come in,” he said with a warm voice. “I’ve gotten complaints from everyone around me already. I figured that the person below me would be next.”

“I tried to just ignore it, then I started to try annoying you by doing the same thing, but that just got me yelled at by my neighbors,” she admitted as he unlocked his phone and handed it over to her. She quickly downloaded an app to fix all of their problems and synced it with his television. When she handed it back to him and pressed the volume buttons to test her skills, he couldn’t help but laugh at himself.

“I would never have thought to do that,” he sighed. “Thank you so much, (Y/N).”

“It’s no big deal…” she paused, not sure if he had mentioned his name in passing or not and definitely not wanting to seem like a creepy stalker.

“Sebastian,” he hurried to fill in the blanks.

“It was not a problem, Sebastian,” she finished, not being able to control the blush rising into her cheeks.

“How can I repay you?” he quickly asked as she shifted on her feet.

“The silence is a gift in itself,” she couldn’t help but joke as another adorable smile slid across the man’s lips.

“Have you eaten yet?”

“Um, no?” her voice inflected upward as he stared down at her with a breathtaking smile.

“I just ordered a mountain of shrimp fried rice and some take-out—would you like to join me? It’s the least I could do.” She hesitated, not wanting to shoot down his offer entirely, but still wary about the dark realities of the world.

“I could be a serial killer,” (Y/N) stated with a playfully dry tone in her voice.

“I’m pretty sure that female serial killers make up less than one percent of the population so I’ll take my chances with that,” he laughed.

“So do women who score INTJ on the Meyers Briggs and yet you’re talking to one.” She couldn’t help getting cocky. In a normal situation, she would be retreating back to her apartment by now, curling up in bed and eating Chinese food alone but since when is accidentally realizing Sebastian lived above her normal? Conversing with him seemed almost second nature to her, as if she had done this before and they were old friends catching up.

“I can’t force you to eat Chinese food and watch Parks and Rec with me, but I can say that it would be fun,” he said with a smirk on his face. (Y/N)’s heart started racing; is…is he flirting with me right now?

“You’re watching Parks and Rec tonight? Hell yeah, I’ll stay,” she smirked at him as he grinned and shook his head at her while laughing.

“Tonight? What do you mean tonight?” he huffed through his fake insulted expression.

“I’ve been here for almost two months and you’ve yet to actually binge watch a single show,” she accused.

“That’s because I lost my remote, remember,” he said with a laugh as he waved his phone. She couldn’t help but smirk as his large blue eyes widened from their banter. “Are you in or not?” he asked, changing the subject.

“I don’t want to impose on you and your home,” she stated more honestly and her timid nature returning.

“I promise you, (Y/N), it would be a pleasure.” Something about his voice and his smile made it impossible to turn down such a generous offer and she agreed. 


Five episodes into Parks and Rec along with their mutual hunger and agitation toward slow delivery led (Y/N) and Sebastian to enter a state of friendliness neither of them really reached upon knowing someone for roughly two hours. Maybe their more outgoing natures were the result of drinking a few beers on empty stomachs, or maybe it was a connection between the two that neither of them wanted to address that made things like awkward conversational pauses and the occasional difficulty they each faced in starting a conversation disappear.

“Gosh damn it, Sebastian!” (Y/N) huffed as Sebastian flopped onto the couch beside her dropping his heavy legs onto her as she sat cross-legged on the couch. He couldn’t help the loud chuckle that escaped his lips. “What’s so funny?” she grumbled and narrowed her eyes playfully at him.

“You curse like Robin in the nineteen sixty-six Batman movies,” Sebastian continued to laugh as (Y/N) shoved his feet from her lap. “Golly Gee Willickers, Batman.”

“Oh, really,” she huffed and tossed a decorative pillow toward the man across from her on the couch. “Shut the fuck up! How’s that for cursing?” Sebastian continued to laugh at her as her eyebrows narrowed in on him and her lips pursed.

“I think you just don’t look frightening enough,” he said while turned his body to face hers. 

“And you’re so menacing,” she huffed with a smirk, glad to see his goofy grin still plastered on his face. Just as he was about to pull a blanket over his feet, there was a knock at the door. “Finally, our food!” They called out. (Y/N) jumped and followed him to the door, lingering in his kitchen as he opened the door to tip the delivery driver. A huge gasp caught her attention and she quickly turned toward the men in the doorframe.

“You-you’re Captain America’s best friend!” the man’s voice was slurred as he stammered his statements. “You’re Sebastian Stan.”

(Y/N)’s eyes widened and she turned her back to the door in hopes that she could pretend she hadn’t heard what just happened, only to hear the door click closed behind her and Sebastian’s deflated voice engulf the room.

“I’m so sorry about that,” he said as he passed by (Y/N) to place each of the containers of food on the coffee table.

“Does that happen a lot?” she asked quickly trying to play it off.

“More than I’m comfortable with,” he sighed. “Why, are you going to start acting weird around me now?” She could see the apprehension in his eyes as he waited for her answer. Of course at the beginning of the night she thought it was weird to just casually hang out with your favorite celebrity, but she knew that making it weird would cause the situation to not exist, which she didn’t want to happen.

“Why would I start acting weird around you?” she asked while quickly filling up her bowl with fried rice and vegetables.

“Because I’m Sebastian Stan and that’s apparently a big deal,” he sighed, conflicted that her knowing who he was would hinder whatever friendship was forming.

“Slow down there,” she said as she tried to swallow a mouthful of food. “Not everything’s about you now. Remember who you’re talking to: less than one percent of the population.” (Y/N) felt the corners of her lips curl into a smirk as Sebastian smiled across the couch at her.

“That you are,” he said in a low sultry tone he had hoped she didn’t hear. (Y/N) was truly a genuine person and he was thrilled to have met her. Her ability to make him feel like just another guy, someone without millions of Instagram followers, someone who’s life isn’t constantly under a microscope, someone normal is something he had been looking for in another person for a long time. For a while he thought he could find that solace in another person in his field of work. Surely they would be able to understand the crazy life he lived and want the same things in a partner: stability, generosity, a grounded sense of mind. Unfortunately seeking romance with another actor only furthered the media exposure of the relationship rather than allowing them to have their own lives with one another.

“Besides, I knew who you were the second you opened the door.”

“Well someone is a stalker,” he teased through bites of rice.

“You know who else is a stalker?” she asked in reply, causing his eyebrows to move individually—one up and one down.

“The delivery guy?” he questioned while staring across the couch at the girl who sat with her knees up on her chest, resting a bowl between her knees.

“Serial killers,” she said and then winked. “Maybe living beneath you was all apart of my plan.”

“I’d gladly have you beneath me,” he said, intending to sound menacing and creepy but instead coming across as horny and creepy. “Fuck! That’s not what I meant!”

“That was a Freudian slip if I ever heard one,” (Y/N) started to laugh as Sebastian nudged her with his foot beneath the blanket they shared. He knew that it was much too early to be thinking of romance with the girl that came up to his floor to yell at him for his broken TV, but the feeling in his heart as the pair tossed their banter from one person to the other was so light hearted, like the onset of puppy love turning into a crush. 

There was something about (Y/N) that was so open and kind that he knew he could trust her, despite her constant joking about being a lunatic, and he held onto that feeling the entire night until it was time for her to return to her floor and go to bed. “Wait,” Sebastian called as he hurried toward (Y/N) who was standing at his front door. He quickly shoved his phone into her hands and said probably the lamest line intended as flirtation in the history of love: “You know, incase I need someone to watch my house.” Thankfully she was understanding and kind enough to put her number in his phone and quickly text herself from his device before going back to her apartment and turning in for the night.

As (Y/N) curled up in bed, she heard a steady thud! thud! from above her and then her phone lit up with a message.

Seb Stan: That was me!

Trying not to laugh too loudly, she grabbed a prop light saber she got from Disneyland years ago and stretched her arms toward the ceiling of her bedroom, hitting it with the base of the prop.

Cute Neighbor: I know ;)

I never told you guys my petty revenge story.

So it’s ten till close at the pizza place I worked at. A man and his daughter walk in to order. I tell them it’ll take a bit longer since the oven has to reheat. He says it’s no problem, but people lie.

While waiting I am forced to listen to this asshole whine about how long it’s taking and about how unprofessional we are and his daughter just laughs it up. Whatever. One well done pizza later I ring him up. His daughter asks about the delivery driver opening, sneaking in a lovely comment about how we looked like we needed the help, earning her a beaming grin from the father. I tell her if she’s over 18 (company policy) I could give her an application, to which the father responds

“Ah shes only sixteen. What a shame she’d be perfect for the job. Pretty girls get all the tips”

He then takes a long look at me and writes a big fat zero under the tip line. His daughter is in hysterics. Now I was very self conscious about my appearance, and this was the first time in months I had the confidence to go out without makeup on. This absolute foot of a person decided he has the right to tear me down like that? I am furious, humiliated, and just want to go home so I usher him out. I am interrupted by a

“Wait, this pizza isn’t well done enough. You need to send it through the oven again” followed by a snide remark to the daughter about incompetence. I accept the offering the karma gods sent me. I inform him that sending it through again might burn it, and it can’t be voided if it happens. But he insists. So I take my sweet time, listen to them bitch, hum a little song, I enjoy this.

I give him his disaster of a pizza. Its blackened, hard, and completely inedible. He’s practically smoking out of his ears when he sees it and demands a refund. I politely inform them that I told them earlier the policies, and was unable to authorize it. Bewildered that he didn’t get what he wants he goes scarlet and demands to speak to a manager, practically screaming.

I put on my sweetest smile and say with a voice that is borderline psychotic I say

“I am the manager”

I assume it’s pretty hard to talk shit when you have to eat a near black pizza because that was the last time I saw him.

“Prosperous and Efficient” Spell Sachet

Originally posted by slk-t

This spell is for an easy work day that gets you a lotta that dough. Generally good for tipped workers (waitresses, bartenders, baristas, delivery drivers, etc.) that get paid exponentially by how many customers you have and how well they tip. But sometimes things can get a little crazy while you’re making that money! This spell is to ask the Universe to create a steady flow of well-tipping customers while keeping things as calm as possible.

Last Monday, I used it for my fiance and I because we’re both restaurant workers at the same place and he’s in the kitchen. Our place offered a huge deal on our most popular dish every Monday and we’d been having chaotic Monday nights, two hour waits, etc.

This spell effectively kept everything under control and flowing smoothly! Usually I dismantle my spell sachets to re-use ingredients but I kept this guy around!

💰 Gather: a sachet, rose quartz (keep crazy customers sweet), black tourmaline (protection during busy days), clear quartz (magnification of your intent), pine needles (to get that money), pine cone (for a bountiful day or night at work), sage (protection), bay leaf (I associate bay leaves with wishes and money), and Himalayan pink salt (protection).

💰 Place each item in while silently thanking it for it’s protection and prosperity it brings.

💰 Keep it hidden in your car, purse, or somewhere secret at your place of business. The closer it is to where you work, the better.


anonymous asked:

when phil said "that motorcycle helmet really gets me going" about delivery drivers byeeeeee

phil being openly attracted to men <3 lemme see that sexualitussy