deleting grindr

i just realised… i used to be hooking up with many guys including sexy dads like years ago.. and when i got over it, i deleted grindr… and i just noticed that the time i deleted grindr, and then a month after, Lana released “Love” and then when she revealed the album cover of Lust for Life, she was smiling.. and then she doesnt even sing about an older lover in this album or it wasnt as obvious as Born to Die and Ultraviolence. so i came to the realisation i stopped my daddy escapades the same time Lana probably did so yes, life imitates art

Originally posted by yesiamarebelliousflower

The Boy Who Couldn’t Hold His Breath Underwater Chapter Five

The Boy Who Couldn’t Hold His Breath Underwater | Phan Skam AU. Internalized homophobia is probably one of the hardest obstacles to overcome, but it’s only made harder when the people around you don’t quite understand why you’re so afraid. When Dan Howell meets Phil Lester, he finally realizes he has to overcome that hurdle. | Phan | Mature | Internalized homophobia, Drugs, Alcohol, Underage drinking, Parties, Discussions of Religion, Sexual Comments, Smut, Bi-polar disorder | Ongoing Chaptered

Disclaimer: In no way do I claim that this is real or cast aspersions on Dan or Phil, or any other youtube personalities.

This chapter: 3,367 words

(Previous) (Ao3)

Due to my own lack of forethought on how I was going to meld the UK a level systems with the Norwegian high school system, I have messed around a bit with the Russ Bus and Revue system as I had studied it to write this AU. Don’t worry, it’s all pretty self explanatory while reading, but anyone who understands the intricacies because they are Norwegian or because they studied Skam as well, just know that the change was intentional, and you don’t need to correct me. I’m just playing around with the concepts because of all the intermingling traditions and cultures that I’ve melded in this fic.

Chapter Five

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anonymous asked:

Do you use grindr?

Finally deleted that toxic app this morning and rid myself of all of the self-hate I had from it

anonymous asked:

so ive been avidly following your evak drabbles (they are marvellous) and ive had a terrible prompt floating around my head for a few days now. ok ok hear me out, we know isak is absolutely shite at being discreet with his porn tabs, but get this he has totally forgotten to delete grindr off his phone (that he downloaded in episode 2 to stalk even on). even perhaps stumbles upon it one day when he is looking at cute photos of them, copious amounts of teasing ensues ...you decide the rest <3

oh holy god. this prompt. I was literally half way through another one when I had to stop because I kept thinking about this one. So you’ve got me, anon. You’ve got my attention, so sit back and ride this out with me.

————-

There is something to be said for an empty apartment on a Friday night.

Even grins and lays back on Isak’s bed, door wide open, every so often listening to the off key sound of his boyfriend singing in the shower.

Life is good. Right now, this minute, it’s the best it’s ever been. And that’s thanks to the boy singing Adele as he washes off remnants of their afternoon. It’s thanks to the uneventful, drama free weeks of their relationship following Christmas.

Through the haze of Isak’s singing, Even reaches for his boyfriend’s phone, thumbing the lock (Even’s birthday, the sap) and glances at the home screen.

“Isak, which photo am I looking for?”

Even hears Isak’s singing cut off in the midst of a moving rendition of Hello. “What?”

“The photo!” Even calls out, snorting at the image of Even passed out with his mouth open and drooling that acts as the home screen image. “The one my mom took the morning after Christmas that she wants you to send to her.”

“Oh- yeah.” The shower cuts off, “It’s the one of us on the floor in front of the Christmas tree. Give me five minutes and I’ll find it!”

Even rolls his eyes. Five minutes his ass. If Isak takes less than fifteen minutes in the bathroom after a shower, he counts it a miracle.

“Uh huh,” he says, mostly for himself. Then loud enough for Isak to hear him, “No worries, I’ll find it! Where is your gallery icon?”

Even flips through the pages on the phone, trying to locate the fucking button.

Facebook, no. Instagram, no. Fucking Snapchat, no. Grindr-

Even pauses, sliding his thumb away from the screen.

Grindr?

Sure enough, at the bottom right hand corner on Isak’s third page, a little orange button sits with a creepy fucking black mask icon.

What the fuck.

Even glances up at the empty doorway, unsure whether he should be impressed or really fucking concerned. But Isak wouldn’t. There is no fucking way he would. Isak could hardly look Even in the eyes the first time Even had gone down on his, let alone use Grindr to hook up with guys.

Nevertheless, Even hits the app and waits for it to load.

Last Activity October 2016.

Even lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and laughs, the situation sinking in. He pulls up some of Isak’s last conversations, noting that his boy didn’t respond to a single one and that each message was more vulgar than the last.

B-Toy: Do you squirt?

Even snorts out loud. God he can almost imagine the look on Isak’s face reading these.

“Baby?” Even calls out, thumbing through more of the messages his eyes growing wider with each one and the corners of his mouth growing sore with the force of his grin.

“Yeah?”

Even props himself on the pillows, getting ready for the show.

“Uh- who is Daddy890?”

Silence, then a muted and confused “What the fuck?”

“What about Bottom4You? And it’s a number 4, so straight to the point.” Even snorts, “Apparently he’s been a bad boy who wants to be punished.”

Another bout of silence and then a loud thud, followed by a clear, “FUCK! OH MY FUCKING GOD.”

Even can’t help the burst of laughter that bubbles up, escaping his chest in almost honks of sound. He hears another thud and then the bathroom door slams open.

Isak rushes into the room, covered in only a towel that he holds up with his left hand. He zeros in immediately on Even with his phone and the specific app that’s pulled up. “Even.”

“I’m just- does he know what you’re like in the bedroom?” Even gasps out through pees of laughter, only strengthened by the force of the red flush starting at Isak’ s chest and flaming upward.

Isak squawks, lunging for the phone. Even rolls smoothly away, holding the phone up to his face, and crawling backwards to evade Isak’s desperate swipes. “StrongSven wants to know if you like to be called ’baby’. I can certainly tell him the answer to that.”

Isak crawls on top of the bedding, ignoring how his towel falls off in the process. “I fucking hate you so much!”

“I feel like we should talk about this a little.” Even gasps, finally surrendering the phone when Isak hooks his arms around Even’s waist and he’s left with a lap of warm, naked boy.

Which is something he could get very used to.

No,” Isak says forcefully, trying and failing to hide his beet red face in Even’s shoulders. “We are never talking about this. This was a mistake brought on from curiosity, Eskild, and a lonely night watching Romeo + Juliet! I can’t believe I forgot to delete it.”

“Curiosity?” Even pulls back, hooking a hand through Isak’s hair and pulling slightly- just enough pressure until Isak had no choice but to look Even in the eyes. He tried to tramp down another grin and keep his face serious, “Were you looking for me on there?”

Isak looks absolutely scandalized, “Of course not!”

Even raises his eyebrows, recognizing the over the top, high pitched tone of a lying Isak. “You were! You were looking for me on Grindr!”

Isak groans, “And this is how I die.”

“What did you think my name would be?” Even says in between his bouts of laughter, “BigDaddyE?”

Isak chokes.“Jesus Christ, please don’t ever let those words come out of your mouth ever again.”

“No? How about TopGun?” Even snorts, “Get it? A movie reference, plus I’m a top! It’s meant to be. Oh what about Even<3TheD? Only like with a heart emoji. Too cute?”

Isak takes a huge breath, “I will literally suck your dick right now and whenever you want for the rest of your life if you never speak of this ever again.”

Even’s mouth snaps shut as he considers. He can’t help but glance down, where Isak is naked and squirming on his lap.

Well that- that’s just an offer too tempting to give up.

(Later, when they’re both panting and laying side by side, Even sits up. “I’ve got it- EvenTakesYouToHeaven. That’s it.”

“You are the worst.”)

Seb had a lot on his plate since he really even been able to be home. Working as a surgeon and all, plus really dealing with his mental health and physical health he really could use some company and not be so pushed away at any person that wanted to give it to him. He deleted grindr, tinder, all that since he was just getting people that really weren’t at all worth his time. Sebastian has such high standards for a partner and right when he thought Lennon met them he just turned him off with the whole way he spoke. He wasn’t going to change him for his own pleasure, that wasn’t him, just Seb felt so alone in even his own head even if he can easily call Adam, his own brother or Kris. He has people in his life but yet he felt like he was walking around being the only man in his earth and it was getting to him. 

Coming back from his therapist for the night he hated doing this but Reid said this will help with his depression even if really it just made his mouth dry and wasted his time. Coming up the steps he noticed Lennon and he’s not seen him since that day a couple days ago. Hoodie up and just minding his own business he just then right when he was about to go inside his house he called out. “Come have a fucking drink with me and  ——- “ He stopped as he just then looked away. “Sorry, that sounded pathetic … Just — Could use the company and I thought you might too even with how dry I was that last time…”

I talked with this guy for a bit and we added each other on Facebook. Then I figured out he was a creep and was trying to cheat on his boyfriend with me and I cut all communication with him and blocked his number. Dude keeps making new grindr profiles and trying to talk to me and I keep blocking him. Today was the 7th (or so) time and he messaged me and said something along the lines of “hi (my full name here) it’s (his name)” so I told him to fuck off and that I wasn’t interested… He blocked me but now I’m paranoid and am deleting my grindr profile completely. Yikes.