delena twin flames

I didn’t fall in love with you. I walked into love with you, with my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way. I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do the things that we’d choose anyway. And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you.
—  Kiersten White, The Chaos of Stars
Damon And Elena: It's Just The Beginning

Bonnie (to Elena): “When I touched you, I saw a crow. There was fog. A man…” 1x01

So to survive the overwhelming disappointment and heartbreak from the How I Met Your Mother series finale and to restore my faith in the endgame gods I am giving myself a challenge: to write about the progression of Damon and Elena’s journey and relationship episode by episode. Their parallels. Their turning points. Their conversations. Their every relevant moment, no matter how small. 

Starting with the pilot.

Which, upon viewing with the knowledge and hindsight provided by the ensuing 105 episodes is literally riddled with allusions to Damon and Elena’s journey. 

In fact, within the first five minutes, the writers had already begun dropping hints about them.

Bonnie: “I’m psychic.”

Elena: “Okay, then predict something. About me.”

Bonnie: “I see—“

And then a crow comes flying into the windshield of Bonnie’s blue Prius. 

A crow.

The symbol of TVD’s resident anti-hero Damon Salvatore. 

Elena asks Bonnie to predict something about her future and a crow literally collides with the car she’s sitting in and sends them into a mild tailspin. Because obviously that’s a coincidence.

I mean, it’s not like it’s foreshadowing how Damon came barreling into Elena’s life and sent her entire world into a tailspin.

Or that it’s alluding to the night of the accident that killed Elena’s parents. 

You know. The night she met Damon. 

Clearly there’s no parallels to be drawn from any of this. 

And let me remind you, this is five minutes into the pilot.

Five. Minutes. 

That is how quickly their romance and journey was put in play. 

Before Elena even met Stefan, before (so we thought at the time) Elena even met Damon, before the forces of the universe were able to bring the two doppelgängers together outside the men’s bathroom at school, the foundation of Damon and Elena’s future romance was already being laid. 

And the utter genius of it lies in its subtlety. This isn’t anything we could’ve ever known when watching the pilot for the first time. It is only with everything we’ve seen between them in the last five seasons, with all that we know about their road and how they fell in love, that we are able to pick up on seemingly insignificant details like this.

The writers actually set the groundwork for Damon and Elena before diving head first into the ‘epic romance’ that this series is supposedly about. Stefan and Elena’s budding fated love was secondary to the little details scattered throughout this episode that sow the seeds of the real true love story. 

Damon and Elena don’t even have any scenes together in the pilot. They don’t meet, they don’t have any conversation, they have no relationship whatsoever. In any other love story their journey would not begin in this episode. 

But this is no ordinary romance.

Elena: “Any siblings?”

Stefan: “None that I talk too.”

Believe it or not, even this is a seed. A sign of what is to come. 

At this moment in the Grille, Stefan doesn’t know that Damon is in town. So he’s naively assuming that Damon won’t be a factor in this life he is building for himself in Mystic Falls. A life centered around Elena.

Which makes this exchange incredibly relevant. 

Because Elena’s innocent curiosity about Stefan’s family is actually the writers way of setting up the triangle, the main focus of this entire series. 

This is their way of elusively reminding us that this isn’t just going to be about Stefan and Elena. That there is a much larger game in the works. 

They synthesize it for us quite simply: Elena and Stefan already have a connection and are flirting and trying to get to know each other. Stefan has an estranged brother who is actually lurking about Mystic Falls as they speak. And said brother Damon already knows all about Elena, is enthralled by her, as he is quick to inform Stefan later in the episode. 

The writers let us know right off the bat that Damon will be in the middle of Stefan and Elena. That he will be the lure that thwarts the whims of destiny.

And thus, the triangle was born. 

Elena: “Anyway Matt and I together, it wasn’t…”

Stefan: “Passionate.”

Elena: “No. No it wasn’t passionate.”

3x22 has turned this scene between Stefan and Elena by the falls into an homage to Damon and Elena’s first encounter four months previous. A meeting Elena doesn’t remember. 

The road behind the falls is where Damon and Elena met for the first time.

The first conversation they had was about why Elena was dissatisfied by her relationship with Matt.

And Damon’s truly ingenious insight about why she wasn’t happy with her boyfriend was because it didn’t hold the passion and adventure that she wanted deep down.

Of course this must be another coincidence. There couldn’t possibly be any significant reason for the writers to draw a parallel like this in a location so close to the road that saw Damon and Elena speaking for the first time.

Developing the roots of their bond as twin flames.

Stefan: “Why are you here?”

Damon: “I could ask you the same question. But I’m fairly certain your answer can be summed up all into one little word: Elena.” 

The first time you see the pilot you briefly find yourself wondering how Damon knows about Elena at all. It immediately arouses suspicion.

But five seasons later we know that he had already met her months before. Which completely explains that little smirk of appreciation. And the way he said her name. Like she’s the most relevant person in the whole town. Like she’s the reason he stayed too. 

Bonnie: “I have this feeling… That it’s just the beginning.”

And two seconds after she pronounces the last syllable of the word ‘beginning’ we hear Damon’s voice cut in from the next scene talking about Elena.

“She took my breathe away. Elena.”

Yet another allusion to their first meeting. Where it was written all over his face that she did, in fact, take his breathe away. 

And not because she looked liked Katherine.

Because she was the first and only person in Damon’s life to ask him what he wanted, what he was looking for. And they’d only known each other for a few minutes.

So even though he is currently operating sans humanity he is able to be shocked into silence by this girl. 

By his true love. 

Need I remind you: this is the PILOT. The first forty minutes of TVD ever. 

And there is already precedence and potential for Damon and Elena. Even with zero interaction between them.

But Stelena is endgame. 

I can’t even type that with a straight face. 

It’s too ludicrous.

Clearly the writers are not as invested in Stelena and never were. Because the tiniest of moments and conversations in this show have been about Delena from the start.

And 1x01 was just the beginning…

My OTP in one sentence

The sexy moody asshole, who fucks up all the time, but falls in love with the ray-of-sunshine type of girl, who seems to hate him at first and can downright kick his ass, when he’s a dick, but at the same time is totally attracted to him and somehow makes him want to be a better person, proven by the fact that he is there for her all the time, especially when she needs him, but then she herself does something morally questionable, and he loves her all the same, if not even more, and those two are precious life ruiners, who make your life even more complicated, because they are so perfect for each other but are always being separated by the outer forces, carrying the name ‘writers’, who like to tease you till you lay down on the floor, hopelessly screaming:

Damon And Elena: In A Hundred Lifetimes, In A Hundred Worlds, In Any Version Of Reality, I’d Find You. I’d Find You And I’d Choose You.

Elena: “If the past is a place without you and me together, then stop living in it.” 6x13

Salvation. That’s all this season is. Just endless salvation.

I still haven’t remotely processed half the revelations we’ve received about Delena thus far (I mean 6x02 and 6x07 alone).

Then ‘The Day I Tried To Live’ happened.

And somehow even my substantial vocabulary is not enough to adequately articulate what was accomplished here.

I did not anticipate that the writers would go this far with Elena’s compulsion. When I said they were using it to tear down every long held misconception about Delena, I didn’t even factor this into the equation.

They just changed the game. Again.

This season is literally one divine revelation after another. It’s like 3x22, 4x23 and 5x16-5x22 on steroids.

It’s fucking brilliant.

Because they aren’t even being subtle about it. They’re not tiptoeing around these issues or playing both sides anymore.

With the triangle well and truly dead, they are dropping nuclear bombs on every argument anyone has ever used against Damon and Elena’s love.

All while maintaining this magnificent married couple dynamic that is steadily pushing Delena closer to an engagement with every episode.

Beginning with, as I’ve dubbed it, food porn: the sequel.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“Ooo. You think we can sneak one before the party?”

“I think Caroline might fry us in the sun.”

“It’s worth the risk.”

“Come here.”

“You know we never talked about… The fact that you kissed me.”

“And you kissed me back? I know. That’s the whole point of kissing, so you don’t have to talk about it.”

“Right, well I just wanted you to know that I’m good with that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah we’re… We’re good. Really good.”

“Is this the talk?”

“Pretty much.”

“Perfect.”

Sweet Mary, mother of God. As if the sandwich thing was not enough. Or even the pancake thing.

Now we have a cupcake thing.

This food theme is killing me.

It’s so damn domestic it’s messing with my head. They almost seem like human newlyweds. I’d think they were if I didn’t already know they were vampires.

And of course only Damon and Elena could make eating cupcakes fucking sexual as hell.

I cannot believe they did this. That he fed it to her and she was looking him in the eyes while she bit into it. That she moaned aloud at how good it was, her eyes practically rolling back in her head. That he reached over totally nonchalant, all slow and with this delicious sensual purpose, and wiped the frosting off her lip with his thumb.

And then sucked that frosting off his thumb while looking her in the eyes like he wanted to bend her over the kitchen counter.

Damn lusty bastards. Thank god they ended this episode with DEX. The tension here was out of control. I couldn’t have waited any longer.

Clearly they couldn’t either.

“You know we never talked about… The fact that you kissed me.”

“And you kissed me back? I know. That’s the whole point of kissing, so you don’t have to talk about it.”

“Right, well I just wanted you to know that I’m good with that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah we’re… We’re good. Really good.”

“Is this the talk?”

“Pretty much.”

“Perfect.”

This was ADORABLE. Like when she asked him out to dinner in 6x11 adorable.

It’s something else we never, ever got to see with them the first time around.

This simple, early stages of dating behavior. Like navigating the after effects of the first kiss. Deciding what it means and where you go from there.

Everything happened so disjointedly and chaotically with them before. They followed no logical or expected progression with their firsts. It was part of their charm.

But now that they’ve been given this second chance, they’re approaching this all a little more normally. Without any back and forth or questions of intent. Without sire bonds and doppelgänger bonds and the complication of loving other people.

They are finally being given some breathing room to be a couple without everyone clamoring to destroy them and their happiness.

And damn if it’s not well deserved.

Kai: “A sad attempt at iron welding.”

Elena: “I tried to fix it.”

Kai: “I can’t bring Bonnie back with this.”

Elena: “I thought you were the all powerful leader of the Gemini coven now?”

Kai: “I destroyed this so that it couldn’t be used again.”

Damon: “Well can we use that hunk of junk to send a message at least? It is her birthday.”

Kai: “It is?”

Damon: “Yeah, it’s really sad I mean, little Bon Bon she’s gonna be getting all dressed up for a party no one’s even gonna show up too. I mean I wonder if she even knows that it is her birthday. Or do all the days just blend into one vast sea of misery. I wonder.”

Kai: “One of the crown wheels survived, that’s a positive. Plus I am mega powerful.”

Damon: “Yeah.”

Kai: “What do you wanna say?”

Damon: “Well I mean if Bonnie needs magic to get out we just need to tell her where to find some.”

This scene will wind up underrated in Delena’s history. It will go unnoticed in light of how the episode ended.

And that’s a damn shame. Because this is what I really love about compelled Elena.

Watching her fall in love with Damon. In these quiet, unassuming moments, surrounded by all the crazy that is their lives. And yet in the midst of it all, she’s learning more about him every minute. Learning things that are making her love him. Respect him. Admire him.

Again.

It’s also a perfect illustration of how little the compulsion affected of her personality. Despite her missing memories of Damon, she has not changed. She is still the same Elena, with the same yearnings and flaws and expectations.

She still sees the more unorthodox and off-putting aspects of Damon’s personality for what they are.

Part of what makes him so great.

Like his penchant for manipulation. His ability to read a situation or a person and use what he discerns to his advantage. He’s very clever and observant. He sees everything.

He’s also very persuasive. In a way that is entirely unique to him.

And Elena appreciates that about him. She holds those traits of his in a certain esteem, because she recognizes that he uses them in the best interests of his loved ones.

It wasn’t always like that. When she first met him, his manipulative tendencies were used to mess with Stefan, to get his way and to open the tomb Katherine was supposedly in.

But now that he’s evolved so spectacularly into this hero no one ever expected him to be, he uses his once dark impulses and skills to the advantage of others. To help his friends and protect his town and save his girl or his brother.

Which is something else he and Elena have in common. Their ability to emotionally manipulate a person or a situation for the benefit of another person.

It’s an aspect of Elena that her friends often ignored about her when she was human. Because most of the time she only ever utilized it in a positive way.

Still, there were times when she exploited something or someone for less noble reasons. Times that only Damon ever acknowledged.

He’s always known she was capable of the same type of exploitation and mind games that he is. As usual, he recognized that in her long before she ever did in herself. He even called her out on it when she used it against him.

They’ve always been far more alike than anyone ever wanted to admit.

And in this moment, as she watches Damon play Kai just the right way in an effort to get a message to Bonnie, she carries such obvious pride in him. She’s genuinely impressed by his tactics.

Almost as if her soul is recognizing his for what it is.

Twin to her own.

Jeremy: “People don’t just change like that.”

Damon: “People usually don’t merge with their siblings either.”

Kai: “Uh, for the record, I would’ve been fine with any of Luke’s qualities. You know the hair, the whole gay thing. You know maybe not the height actually.”

Jeremy: “You seriously buy this?”

Elena: “Look I’m not saying we have to like him. But if there’s a way for us to tell Bonnie how she can get out-“

Jeremy: “We should trust the guy that changed personalities overnight?”

Kai: “Think of it like Elena in reverse. You know she was human. Pure. Dating the good Salvatore. Then she became an undead blood vacuum, stopped caring about right and wrong, started dating the bad one.”

Elena: “That’s not how it happened.”

Kai: “Hmm, I’m sure I missed a detail or two. But I’m just paraphrasing what Damon told me in the prison world.”

These writers have no chill. Not an ounce.

They’re literally calling out all of Delena’s haters and blatantly telling them that they’re wrong. That they’ve been wrong this entire time.

It’s savage.

And only made even more so by the fact that the confirmed sociopath is the one presenting this argument.

Another reminder from the writers that only crazy people believe it’s as black and white as Kai just made it seem.

“Think of it like Elena in reverse. You know she was human. Pure. Dating the good Salvatore. Then she became an undead blood vacuum, stopped caring about right and wrong, started dating the bad one.”

It’s such an obvious kick in the teeth to the people who’ve tried to bash Delena with this argument that all I want to do is cheer.

As if it was ever this simple. This definable. This black and white.

It wasn’t. Not ever.

Much like the truly nonsensical claim that there is a good Salvatore and a bad one, the idea that vampirism somehow erased Elena’s morals and that it’s the only reason she was able to overlook Damon’s darkness is equally as moronic.

This is not a fucking fairytale. There’s no line in the sand that distinguishes the villains and the heroes.

Everyone on this show is a villain and a hero. They are all good and bad. They’ve all made the right choice, and just as many times they’ve made the wrong one.

They are all killers. And not even for supposedly heroic reasons, like protecting the ones they love.

They’ve killed people in cold blood. Snapped necks, ripped out hearts, sucked innocents dry. Ripped heads off.

They’re monsters. Or they could be viewed that way.

But monsters don’t love. Don’t try to do the good and heroic thing. Don’t bother to acknowledge their humanity. Don’t feel remorse and regret for their mistakes.

So they’re heroes with tainted histories. They’re flawed, not infallible like everyone likes to pretend.

And vampirism is not even the determining factor in that. Because even the humans have blood on their hands.

Even human Elena was put in a position where she had to kill, or plot to kill, to affect a greater outcome. Even she was able to overlook the fact that Stefan tore up the coast with Klaus, wracking up a body count much higher than Damon’s. Even she let go of the fact that Stefan tried to kill her. Twice.

It didn’t erase her feelings for him. It didn’t cause her to turn on him. It didn’t prevent her from forgiving him. Because she’s a compassionate soul. Because her whole personality revolves around looking for the best in even the most damaged people.

Which is why she fell in love with Damon while she was human. Because she saw the good in him, the humanity, when the rest of the world only saw a monster. While everyone consistently labeled him the bad brother, she learned that there was no bad brother. There was just Stefan and Damon, two siblings with violent histories and twisted impulses.

She erased the line in the sand between them long before she ever transitioned.

So this irrational claim that being a vampire somehow tainted her, that it caused her to forget her morals and compassion, that it was the only reason she was able to love Damon means nothing. It was an exercise in stupidity from the start.

The whole damn purpose of Elena Gilbert’s character, of her entire life and story and existence, is her love for other people. Her ability to forgive even the worst, most disturbed people their sins.

She forgave Katherine on her deathbed for gods sake. After Katherine KILLED her little brother. And then tried to kill her the night of her graduation.

Elena’s most admirable trait as a person is her talent for looking at the whole picture. At all of someone instead of just the parts they show publicly.

She knows that evil is not born. That people begin good and human, that it’s the world that warps them into something dark. And that is what allows her to forgive, even those who have wronged her in the most horrific of ways.

She did not CHANGE when she died. If anything she is more compassionate and forgiving than she was before. She is more loving, more understanding.

She’s just learned to temper it. To balance her overwhelming compassion and selflessness with a little more selfishness and self-preservation. She’s no longer a martyr. She no longer makes decisions based on what other people tell her.

She thinks for herself. Which is the change her friends perceived in her after the transition.

She stopped letting them decide for her. She chose who she wanted to be with because it was what she wanted, not because it was expected of her.

She loved who she wanted to love, everyone else be damned.

“You know she was human. Pure. Dating the good Salvatore.”

There is nothing in the world I loathe more than this argument.

What the fuck does this even mean?

Who said humans are any purer than vampires just because they’re human? What kind of logic is that?

Who said that ripping people’s heads off in the heat of bloodlust is a sign of being ‘good’ just because the perpetrator feels terrible about it afterwards and expresses that remorse openly? What makes Stefan’s sins any better or worse than Damon’s? What makes Stefan any more or less of a hero than Damon?

NOTHING. There is no logic to this good brother, bad brother nonsense and never has been.

Just like there’s no logic to this humans are pure and vampires are void of all morals nonsense.

The entire basis of the argument against vampire Elena is that her transition - and her choice to be with Damon - was some kind of proof that she stopped caring about right and wrong. That it was a sign she wasn’t innocent anymore. That she would obviously never love Damon if she was still human because human Elena was ‘pure.’

What a load of absolute bullshit.

Human Elena was not pure. She was not some little dove that was incapable of error and unable to love a monster. The very fact that she EVER loved Stefan after finding out what he was should be proof enough that her purity died a long time ago.

It died when she went off that bridge the first time. And really it was even before that.

Because she was never totally pure. Or she didn’t want to be. She craved the darker pleasures in life from the time she was sixteen.

If Elena was so pure while she was human she would not have had such an issue being with Matt. Her supposed purity implies she should’ve wanted the vanilla, white picket fence life Matt was planning for the two of them at that time.

She didn’t want it. Not any of it. The very idea of it was suffocating her, terrifying her. She had no intention of spending her life as a housewife trapped in Mystic Falls until she died. That life never became her.

Even as a ‘pure’ human sixteen year old girl.

It was that same ‘pure’ girl who fell in love with a vampire not six months after her parents’ accident. Even knowing what he was, what he was capable of, she loved Stefan anyway. Even after discovering the terrible things he’d done over his long life, she still loved him and fought for him.

That is not a sign of purity.

It’s simply a sign of love. Because love - real love - isn’t pure. Especially the no holds barred, out of control way that Elena Gilbert loves.

And that is exactly why she did fall in love with Damon as a human. It wasn’t about being pure or being human or being anything other than herself. A girl who loves with no reservations, a girl who sought a more adventurous life, a girl capable of the same darkness that Damon and Stefan are.

Being a vampire had nothing to do with it. As we’ve all known for years, even if Elena had never transitioned, she still would’ve ended up with Damon eventually, no matter how long it took.

Humanity and purity played no part in it. Just like Damon being the ‘bad’ brother played no part in it.

Falling in love is not about morals. It’s not about right and wrong. It’s an emotion. A connection. You don’t DECIDE that you feel that way, you just do. Even if the person you love has a sordid past.

Elena herself said that when she fell in love with Damon on her birthday it terrified her. Because she didn’t want to feel that way about him. She wasn’t supposed too. But with every new thing she learned about him, with every increasingly more selfless way he exhibited his love and humanity, she couldn’t stop herself from falling for him.

Because it was about HIM. Not about his mistakes or his status as the black sheep or her loyalty to Stefan. It was all about Damon. About the kind of person he was - the person she saw from the beginning underneath all his dark bravado - that made her love him.

As a human. She was human and eighteen and she loved Damon.

And there is nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t make her any less compassionate and moral and loving as a person. It doesn’t mean she changed.

It means she was always going to feel that way. Human or vampire, sired or not sired, compelled or not compelled, Elena Gilbert will ALWAYS love Damon Salvatore.

“That’s not how it happened.”

Even with her absent memories she still knows Kai’s logic is flawed. That she didn’t just wake up one day in love with Damon because she was a vampire.

Because that’s fucking irrational, the idea that changing into a different species would degrade your morality and make you love someone that apparently can’t be loved without said degradation.

As if being morally bankrupt was the only way she could ever love Damon.

As if being a vampire somehow killed all her morality to begin with.

Even though her entire existence as a vampire has been predicated on her morals. Even though she tried to COMMIT SUICIDE because she killed Connor, a vampire hunter who was trying to kill her and her brother. Even though she’s only compelled in the first place because she knew she couldn’t risk attacking innocent people by continuing to take the witch drugs.

But Elena doesn’t care about right and wrong anymore obviously. She’s clearly lost all compassion and reason. Of course she could never love Damon otherwise.

Even though Damon only died because he drove into a goddamn explosion to bring his little brother back from the dead. Real monstrous right? The epitome of selfishness.

Idiots. Just absolute idiots anyone who tries to claim all of this.

Which is exactly why Elena shuts it down, because even compelled she knows it’s all ludicrous.

She knows she assumed the same ridiculous things about Damon and their relationship months before. She couldn’t wrap her mind around loving someone she thought was a monster.

But she’s learned very quickly how misguided that position was. She knows she was wrong. She’s accepted it, admitted it.

She’s seen the real Damon. The hero. The good brother. The loyal friend.

The dedicated boyfriend.

And she knows it would be insane NOT to love him. That only someone void of all morals and compassion could look at him as he is now and believe he was a monster or claim he’s the bad Salvatore.

He’s the best of them all. And she knows it.

She’d defend him to the death if she had too.

“Our suicide bourbon. Bonnie and I made a pact we’d drink this together. That’s what I’m gonna do.”

“To you Bonnie. So is Kai right about me? By turning into a vampire I completely changed?”

“The guy’s a psychopath. Don’t let him get in your head.”

“I’m not. But do you ever think about it, like if I would still be with you if I was human?”

“Okay we’re doing this.”

“It’s just a question Damon.”

“No.”

“No what?”

“No I don’t think we’d be together if you were still human. You had a choice, you chose Stefan. Human you was on your way home to him. Car went off the bridge. You turned and suddenly I was back in the picture.”

They are leaving no stone unturned. They’re drowning every obstacle in Delena’s path, making absolutely certain the road to their endgame is free and clear, unburdened by all doubt.

I’m just ecstatic.

For those who simply refuse to see it, who even after 6x02 still don’t comprehend how long Elena has been in love with Damon, the writers are setting the record straight.

They are righting every wrong caused by 3x22. Shattering the delusion that human Elena would never have found it in her heart to love Damon, or admit to it.

They’ve spent years trying to maintain the illusion that human Elena’s life and love revolved only around Stefan. That she simply didn’t have it in her to be with Damon then. That she had to be a vampire to make that transition.

And now they’re taking it all back, knowing that we never believed it anyway.

We knew better. After all the sire bond was proof enough that she absolutely did have feelings for him while she was human. That she and Damon had all the potential in the world from the beginning.

Vampirism had nothing to do with it. It did not manufacture her feelings. It simply enhanced what was already there.

What had been there since she was sixteen, silently festering in the deepest caverns of her heart.

The night her parents died, the night she met Damon, set them both on a course they were never going to deviate from. No matter how long it took or how hard the journey was, they were always going to end up together.

It’s the real reason the writers showed us that Damon HAD met her first after that phone call. It’s what they were trying to tell us all along.

That the real love story has always been between her and Damon. A love story that started before her parents ever died, before she ever encountered Stefan.

Before the show even began.

“So is Kai right about me? By turning into a vampire I completely changed?”

This is ingenious. Truly ingenious.

During all of season four Elena was lambasted by everyone she loved (apart from Damon) for becoming a different person after she transitioned. Her oldest friends, her supposed soulmate, her own brother all thought something was wrong with her. That she needed to be fixed.

That she was broken by vampirism. That it erased the things that had made her compassionate and sweet and lovable as a human.

They were wrong. Just so fucking wrong. About all of it.

Which was the whole purpose of Elena’s journey in that season. Recognizing that the changes she experienced after her transition were not the result of the sire bond, of Damon’s influence on her or even of her death on that bridge.

She didn’t change. She matured. She grew up. She stopped living her life based on what other people expected of her. She made more selfish choices to ensure her own happiness. She loved who her heart told her to love, not her head.

She embraced herself. Her own darkness. Her own flaws and weaknesses. Her unorthodox strengths.

She stopped looking at the world in black and white, stopped making decisions predicated on her obligations to others, stopped sacrificing her happiness because of moral or social expectations.

Mired as they were in angst and tragedy, they were all positive changes. But they didn’t make her a different person.

Vampirism only amplified what already existed in her. What she’d only exhibited in secret as a human. What had only been dragged out of her in Damon’s presence.

It didn’t just heighten her emotions. It heightened her personality. Especially the parts of her she’d hidden from her friends, from her brother. From Stefan.

But never from Damon. Even as strangers she never hid from Damon. All her denial about the supposed darker parts of her personality melted away around him from the start. Which, oddly enough, is why they fought so much to begin with.

He was inciting behavior and emotions and thoughts in her that no one else ever had. And it scared her. It thrilled her. It put her off balance.

Until she got more accustomed to it. Until she got so close to him that those behaviors and emotions and thoughts became natural. Instinctual.

So by the time she transitioned, she was already halfway there. She was already coming to familiarize herself with those closeted aspects of her personality.

The transition simply put it into overdrive. And while it may have overwhelmed her some at first, she really wasn’t as surprised as she should’ve been. As she would’ve been if she’d never experienced that kind of darkness before (bloodlust excluded).

Her friends were the ones that were shocked. The ones that just didn’t understand, and refused to accept, the real Elena. The Elena who has always craved passion and adventure and danger. The Elena who loves with her whole heart, no reservations in sight.

The Elena that is asking this very question, because compulsion or not, she hasn’t changed at all.

Erasing Damon did not make her any less of who she became when she died. Everything she embraced about herself with his help did not disappear with the compulsion. She is still passionate, adventurous, and dangerous. She’s still brazen and crazy, with a tendency toward selfishness or manipulation if the situation warrants it.

She is still Elena. Damon’s Elena. The REAL Elena.

And that is the whole damn point of having her hash this out with Damon.

Because she doesn’t remember her own transition properly. She doesn’t remember the last three years of her life properly. Which means she doesn’t remember how Damon was the only one who supported her when she grew into herself after she turned.

She’s basically an objective third party, questioning her own personal history. Looking back at her flawed memory of her past and wondering if the things she’s hearing from Kai are true.

Did she really become a different person? Did she change THAT much? Is she the absolute anti-thesis of her human self? Is she right now, at this very moment, a distorted version of herself just  because she’s a vampire? Is being a vampire the only reason she’s able to be with Damon?

All questions that her and Damon’s naysayers have brought up, both on the show and otherwise. Everyone has wondered these things since 3x22. Even Damon and Elena.

And they’ve all disregarded them for the most part. Because uncompelled Elena stuck to her guns. Even though her changes alienated her friends, killed her romantic relationship with Stefan once and for all, she did not back down. She did not hide from the ways that vampirism changed her. She did not hide from the things Damon made her feel.

She stopped hiding from herself and what she wanted. And she never looked back.

So her friends stopped ignoring what was right in front of them. They stopped looking at her as damaged or different and accepted the new, grown up Elena who loved and chose Damon and not Stefan.

It took time, but it happened. Everyone stopped asking these ridiculous questions.

At least out loud. Internally, they’ve clearly all still wondered. In the darkest corners of his mind, this has obviously plagued Damon for years.

Which is exactly why the writers brought it up now. When uncompelled Elena, the one with all the answers, could not set the record straight. When compelled Elena had to make the determination for herself based on her own unbiased perception of the situation.

And she is unbiased. She has no idea what Damon did for her when she transitioned. Or even before, while she was human. She still isn’t quite in love with him. Her opinion is not tainted by emotion or the influence of her memories or her friends.

The perfect way to tell the morons who continue to hold this viewpoint about Elena and her vampirism just how fucking wrong they’ve been since season four.

“No I don’t think we’d be together if you were still human. You had a choice, you chose Stefan. Human you was on your way home to him. Car went off the bridge. You turned and suddenly I was back in the picture.”

I never thought they’d address this. Certainly not so brazenly.

But they’re nothing if not thorough when it comes to Damon and Elena. They cover everything, even the things we’ve ignored or forgotten over the seasons.

Because they don’t just want Damon and Elena to be happy. They wanted them to earn it. And now that they have they want us to KNOW that they’ve earned it.

By derailing every single allegation that has ever been held against them.

Like the notion that vampirism made Delena happen. That it was the key to their romance, rather than just a tool by which it came about when it did.

Elena’s transition was not the cause of her relationship with Damon. It did nothing but break down the last of her denial about him. It burst the dam of her love for him wide open.

But in order to burst open the dam, there would’ve already had to be something there. She would’ve already had to love him.

And she did. As we learned in 6x02, she”s loved him for even longer than we ever guessed.

Something Damon doesn’t know yet. That she loved him months before she transitioned. That choosing Stefan on that bridge was never an indication that she didn’t love him. If anything it was a sign that she did and was just too scared to embrace it.

Does it matter though, that he doesn’t think she’d love him if she was still human? Does it matter that he doesn’t know?

It does. Because not knowing is maintaining one last stronghold of doubt in his heart. It’s keeping him from accepting how real this has always been between him and Elena.

As he rightly deduced in 2x01 and tried to get her to admit, there has been something going on between them since they met. He knew it back then, before he ever admitted to loving her. He felt what was brewing in their not so platonic friendship. Felt, in fact, that it wasn’t just a friendship at all.

They were always something more.

But the mistake he made after trying to convince her - killing her brother - has kept him from believing what he claimed that night for years. He was never so certain about them as he was when he showed up in her room that night.

And if he’d never killed Jeremy and temporarily alienated Elena he might’ve remained that certain.

That mistake cost him his own personal faith in what he and Elena have. Even though all is forgiven, even though she’s proven time and again how much she loves him, that night has tainted his belief that human Elena would’ve ever chosen him in the same way 3x22 has.

Which is why this whole conversation, this whole episode, is so crucial.

Because it’s time he stops living under that illusion. It’s time Jeremy’s death at this hands and Elena’s choice on that bridge stop casting a dark cloud over what they could’ve had if she’d never transitioned.

He thinks that choice in 3x22 was indicative enough of human Elena’s feelings for him. He’s positive she didn’t love him before she died. He has no evidence from her time as a human - other than their kiss in Denver - that could convince him otherwise.

He clearly is just as in the dark about what happened on her eighteenth birthday as we were.

And Elena can’t tell him any different right now because she doesn’t remember.

But her lost memories are an advantage in this instance. Because important of a moment as her birthday might be, it’s not the only proof that Elena loved him while she was human.

There are thousands of moments that prove that, both before and after 3x01.

Just as there are thousands of moments following Elena’s transition, right up to this very episode that prove she loved him while she was human.

Because it was never about being human.

And Elena knows it.

She doesn’t need her memories to back it up. She feels it now just as she did then.

And after three years, she finally tells him what she should’ve told him a long time ago.

That while he may not have always been her choice on the surface, at the end of it all there really was no choice.

Because every time she didn’t choose him, she wound up circling back to him anyway.

“So Jer’s applying to art school? Might wanna compel him a decent portfolio cause he ain’t that great.”

“Don’t be mean. He needs to move on with his life. And so do I.”

“Not sure I’m a fan of that transition.”

“Look I’ve… I’ve made some huge mistakes in my life. Being with you wasn’t one of them. And yes I had Alaric compel away my love for you. And yes I did love Stefan once. The night I died, Matt was driving me back to him. And yet I found my way back to you. Damon, I somehow always find my way back to you. It doesn’t matter if I have memories or not, it doesn’t matter if I’m a vampire or not.”

“You’re just saying that because you can’t change what you are.”

“No Damon, I don’t care what human me would’ve done. Because she’s not here. I am. And if the past is a place without you and me together, then stop living in it.”

For the love of all things Delena, how did we get here.

How did we get to a place where Elena Gilbert tells Damon Salvatore that being with him wasn’t a mistake.

How did we reach a point where Elena Gilbert tells Damon Salvatore that she’d be with him no matter what she was or what tried to come between them.

How did we achieve this success. A success that surpasses the revelation of when Elena fell in love with Damon.

Because the when doesn’t actually matter. What really matters is that she knows, memories or no memories, that she doesn’t want to live in a time or a place where they weren’t together.

She just wants to be with him. For now and for always. As she wanted months before, when she told him all she saw was a future with him.

This was like a continuation of that beautiful moment in the forest, when she proposed for the second time, confirming that their breakup really had just been a way of securing their happiness down the road.

Now here she stands with no recollection of that moment or any other positive one they shared prior to his return, totally confident that being with him was, and is the right choice.

That it is, in fact, the only choice she ever really had.

“He needs to move on with his life. And so do I.”

“Not sure I’m a fan of that transition.”

I must start with this. For two reasons.

One, because Damon thought for a moment that her profession that she needed to move on with her life meant moving on from him and them. Which is exactly why this conversation was so necessary.

Because he shouldn’t think that. He shouldn’t have doubts and fears like that. Not anymore.

If he knew the truth about her eighteenth birthday he wouldn’t have those fears. But he doesn’t know.

And neither does she. So she had to assuage his remaining uncertainty about them another way.

By showing him that she has let go of everything that threatened to destroy them in the past. That she is ready to move forward with him and leave their baggage behind. For good.

Even though she doesn’t remember all their baggage correctly, she knows there’s boatloads of it. Not the least of which was her choice on that bridge.

A choice that has defined them for too long. That has stuck between them, the only true lingering obstacle in an otherwise (relatively) bump free relationship.

Damon’s death wiped out every roadblock they’d ever had.

Except 3x22. Overcoming that requires something else. Something that was only ever in Elena’s power to give.

Her understanding and subsequent proclamation that every time she tried to make a choice that wasn’t Damon, that choice somehow brought them back together anyway.

Even when he wasn’t her choice, he was still the conclusion. The destination at the end of her every journey. The only stop on the twisted freeway that is her life.

What she finally understands with her unbiased perception of their past, is that there was never a choice. Not between him and Stefan. Not between being human or being a vampire. Not between her compelled and not compelled states of existence.

Because every road she’s ever taken has led her back to Damon.

“Look I’ve… I’ve made some huge mistakes in my life. Being with you wasn’t one of them. And yes I had Alaric compel away my love for you. And yes I did love Stefan once. The night I died, Matt was driving me back to him. And yet I found my way back to you. Damon, I somehow always find my way back to you. It doesn’t matter if I have memories or not, it doesn’t matter if I’m a vampire or not.”

This rivals her speech to him in 4x23. Which has incidentally always been my favorite of her love declarations.

So I suppose it only makes sense that this is a parallel of that scene in front of their fireplace.

When Elena chose Damon after graduation, she made a point of telling him that she wasn’t sorry. For meeting him, for the changes he’d instilled in her, for him making her look at vampirism in a positive light.

For loving him. Even with all they’d been through, she wasn’t sorry that she loved him.

But she also made sure to drive home how real their relationship is. By reminding him, herself and everyone else that he’s not always been the best person. That he’s made terrible mistakes that could’ve cost him her love. That should have - would have - if she were anyone other than Elena.

And she equates the mistakes he’s made in regard to her with the choice she makes: being with him.

She claims it will prove to be her worst decision ever.

Which, of course, is exactly how we knew it wouldn’t be. And it wasn’t.

It was her best. The best choice she ever made.

And even without remembering a single second of their time as a couple, compelled Elena knows that. She gets it. She FEELS it.

He was the right choice, IS the right choice. He isn’t a mistake.

She’s been tiptoeing around him since his resurrection. She’s been tentative because he was a stranger to her.

But the more she’s gotten to know this Damon that she literally brought back from an emotional death - HER Damon - the more she’s come to realize what her uncompelled self did months ago.

She understands why she got in that car and drove into the explosion with him. Why she was so sure he was the only one for her, why she was so in love with him she couldn’t even fathom life without him.

Because what they had was right. Good. Real.

Difficult and complicated and out of control as it was and is, their love is the best thing that ever happened to her.

It’s more or less what she told hallucination Damon in 6x01. That being with him, loving him, had fulfilled her, had given her the life she always wanted.

It’s why she was so distraught that she couldn’t handle living with just the memories.

She needed HIM. Plain and simple.

“And yes I had Alaric compel away my love for you. And yes I did love Stefan once.”

One of their best qualities as individuals and as a couple is that they don’t beat around the bush.

Elena didn’t even try to pretend that they hadn’t had their fair share of challenges. She erased him from her mind. She used to love his brother.

She chose his brother over him on her last night as a human.

But that was another lifetime. Another Elena, who wasn’t ready to accept him and all that he is.

Not this Elena, who even without her memories doesn’t have one iota of romantic love for Stefan in her anymore. She’s so far removed that she puts what they had right where it belongs.

In the past.

She loved Stefan ONCE. A long time ago, before life become too brutal and overwhelming, before tragedy shaped her into the aggressive, sassy, passionate woman she’s grown into.

She loved Stefan before Damon for a reason.

Because loving Stefan ultimately led her to loving Damon. Choosing Stefan time and again led her to Damon.

As she has rightly deduced about their history, her every choice has been ABOUT Damon in some fashion. Whether she was choosing him or not, she oriented her life around Damon from the start. She was never running TO Stefan.

She was running AWAY from Damon.

And the only reason she ran is because deep down, she knew once she gave in there’d be no going back.

She was right.

“The night I died, Matt was driving me back to him. And yet I found my way back to you. Damon, I somehow always find my way back to you.”

I couldn’t have scripted it better. It’s a totally succinct summary of their whole relationship since the night they met.

She always finds her way back to him. Even buried under a mountain of denial as she was when she was human, even sired, even without emotion, even as she was drawn to Stefan by a traveller spell, even as Damon himself tried to create distance between them, they were never able to stay apart for long.

Every time they’ve ever tried to separate, they’ve only ever come crashing back together with the force of a dozen battering rams.

Separation was futile. Distance - emotional, physical, or mental - has done nothing but strengthen their bond over time.

And Elena took the best example ever to illustrate that for Damon.

She chose his brother right before she died. Her last act as a human.

But that choice only sent her directly into Damon’s waiting arms. It killed her relationship with Stefan completely.

Because choosing Stefan was never about Stefan. She chose out of fear. Out of obligation.

Out of pure denial.

It’s exactly what she tried to tell him on that phone call. In her tears and her words was the only explanation we needed for why she turned around and drove back to Stefan.

She wasn’t ready to love Damon, even though she did. She wasn’t ready to be with him, even though she wanted too.

Yet her not being ready only made sure that fate intervened. Her choice to go back to Stefan killed her. Literally.

And her death brought all of her feelings for Damon directly to the surface. Where they would stay, no matter what.

Even if she, say, compelled them out of her mind. Erasing her memories did not erase her love.

Choosing to let him go through the compulsion did not keep her and Damon apart.

Just like choosing Stefan on that bridge did not keep her and Damon apart.

Because nothing CAN keep them apart. They cheated death. Magical emotional bonds and flipped switches. The universe.

Mind control for gods sake. She fucking erased him and she STILL loves him. Still chooses him.

Still found her way back to him.

“Damon I somehow always find my way back to you.”

The story of the Vampire Diaries ladies and gentlemen. It’s a tale of Damon Salvatore and Elena Gilbert letting each other go over and over again, only to reunite in ever more magnificent ways.

Because their love cannot be undone by absence, distance or time.

In all trials and tribulations, in all tragedy and angst, amidst storms of horror and fear, their love has only increased as the years have gone on. With every mistake either of them have ever made, every choice no matter how right or wrong, they have proven one thing consistently, without fail.

The end of every road for Damon and Elena is each other.

“It doesn’t matter if I have memories or not, it doesn’t matter if I’m a vampire or not.”

Behold. The real purpose of her compulsion.

To show him, to show her, to show us that it doesn’t matter what she is or what her mind tells her.

Her heart just belongs to Damon. That’s it.

As a human, as a vampire, compelled, uncompelled, sired, not sired, with emotions or without them, her soul is entirely entwined with his. They cannot escape it.

They have been bonded, intimately and passionately and without limit, since the night they met on that road. All it took was one conversation, one look, a few flirtatious smiles.

And the deal was done. Just as the location of their first meeting symbolized, their respective journeys in life are each other. Every good or bad thing that has ever happened to them, that they’ve ever done only brought them together. First the night Elena’s parents died, and then again and again and again.

Until they stopped fighting the pull and gave in.

Until they understood that what they have trumps all of their mistakes and all of their attempts to do right by each other.

It was their souls’ way of telling them that not being together is NOT doing right by each other. Every time they’ve let tried to let go the world has only conspired to show them they were doing themselves a great injustice.

They were hiding from something that just wasn’t meant to be denied.

It’s too real, too powerful, too NECESSARY to their very existence.

They’ve always believed the universe was conspiring to sabotage them.

While that might be true, it turns out something has been in their corner all along.

Them.

Much like they are all each other needs, they are all their love needed to survive, to overcome.

They didn’t conquer death and fate and mind control with help from anything else. They didn’t need the help.

They just needed each other. And it worked itself out every time.

Because their love is a force superior to the whims of the heavens and the supposed finality of death.

They themselves are superior. They are in a league of their own.

They are, as they have always been, one love to rule them all.

“No Damon, I don’t care what human me would’ve done. Because she’s not here. I am. And if the past is a place without you and me together, then stop living in it.”

Pure, straight poetry. It’s like a love song written just for them and spoken by Elena. It should be set to music.

And it was. ‘Time’ wasn’t playing in the background for kicks.

It was there to strengthen Elena’s whole argument.

Time is not relevant for them. They are a romance built on the imminence of the present, on the promise and unpredictability of the future.

But they shape that present and future themselves. They define it. They rise above it.

Just as they rise above their past. And a bloody past it is. A dark one, filled with personal tragedy, constant pain, nearly unbearable mistakes.

A past where they weren’t always together.

A past Elena wants no part of. If that time in her life doesn’t include Damon, then it means nothing to her. Not anymore.

It’s the means by which they found their way to each other yet again.

But they don’t need to live in it. To let it become their next obstacle.

So she chose Stefan on that bridge. So she erased her love for him.

So Damon died, left her, even though he promised her never would.

So what. They’re still standing here, in their room, as dedicated to each other as ever.

They still found their way back to each other.

Because that’s all that is relevant about their past at this point. Their history has only shown that they were always going to end up here. Not broken and separated, as Damon had so long believed.

Together. They were always going to end up together, no matter how long it took or how bumpy the road was.

And while Damon may be the one who needed to hear these life affirming words, Elena needed to say them even more. To bring them full circle.

To set in motion that legendary shot of them naked in bed together, her touching his arm with something akin to wonder before picking it up and wrapping it around to cuddle closer as he lay sleeping.

With almost too much love brewing in the depths of her eyes.

She didn’t need to say I love you. Her actions said it all.

They said that she meant every word. That he wasn’t a mistake, that even in spite of their complex history she chose him anyway, did so again and will continue to do so. That they always find their way back to each other. That she’s done living in the past because it’s a time when they weren’t together.

The look on her face in that final shot says that in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, she’d find him. She’d find and she choose him.

No matter what tried to stand in their way.

youtube

This is by far the best Delena video I’ve seen in the longest time:

Soulmate by 2words12letters ♥

Damon And Elena: Forces That Transcend Worlds

Damon: “You are by far the greatest thing to ever happen to me in my 173 years on this earth. The fact that I get to die knowing that I was loved. Not just by anyone, by you. Elena Gilbert. Its the epitome of a fulfilled life.” 5x22

If you still doubt the endgame after this masterpiece of a finale I’m afraid there’s nothing more I can do for you. You’re either willfully ignorant or just fucking stupid. 

Taking Stefan and Caroline completely out of the equation, there’s no better proof that this whole series is Damon and Elena’s love story than this episode. 

Because I’m still crying. Its been eight fucking days since I finished watching ‘Home’ and there are still tears in my eyes. I’ve never been more emotionally impacted by anything in my entire life. 

It’s their love. Not just the story, the road to their well-deserved endgame, their legendary journey from hate to love to lust to truth. Their love in and of itself is by far the greatest thing I have ever witnessed in my twenty years on this earth. 

There’s nothing like it. There never has been before now. There never will be again. 

There’s a reason I say that they are one love to rule them all. Because what transpired between them in this episode could never in a million years be replicated or even accomplished by anyone else. They are simply in a league of their own. 

The love story to end all love stories. 

Beginning with the parallel that made their real first meeting on May 23, 2009 thousands of times more meaningful and relevant than it already was. 

“Listen, I wanted to spare you the gory details, but then I figured well I’ll be lying, and the whole point of saving the universe will be moot because you’d be pissed. So here it is. Project Kaboom needs someone to trigger the explosion so to speak.” 

“Okay… Wait you? No Damon no, absolutely not. No.”

“Go with your first instinct Damon, lesson learned.” 

“Look at me. Damon. Do you see a future with me? Because that’s all I see.”

“Elena, I’ve seen it since the second I laid eyes on you.”

“Then don’t go on a suicide mission.”

“Technically it’s only half a suicide mission because we’re gonna be bringing people back from the Other Side, and I am gonna be with them.”

“Well then what if something goes wrong?”

“Alright not to relive old fights, but this is my choice, and I need you to respect it.”

“That was a low blow.”

“Hey. I will make it back to you. I promise. I promise you.”

This is when I knew he was going to die. Even though I’ve known it for months, even though the signs have been littered throughout this entire season, this conversation was confirmation that Damon wasn’t going to make it back to her.

Because after five seasons of uncertainties, of miscommunications and near misses and vicious angst, both Damon and Elena have finally reached a place where they recognize that their future lies with each other regardless of the internal and external obstacles they face. 

Season five was all about them working through the kinks in their relationship and coming to terms with their own individual struggles and weaknesses that had the potential to ruin them if not dealt with. Now that they’ve been legitimately broken up for legitimate reasons they realize that all of their problems aren’t anything they can’t overcome. They are ready to put aside doubts and fears and expectations in the name of their love for each other.

They are ready to walk side by side into hell if they must. Anything, no matter the consequences, so long as they are together.

“Do you see a future with me? Because that’s all I see.”

Elena Gilbert has never been this certain of anything before. She’s never once been able to look into her future and see something concrete, something that she wants that will actually last. 

And now she does. Now amidst all of the other difficulty in her life she sees Damon in her future. She has plans and dreams for that future. She will fight for that future. 

Damon has always represented Elena’s future. From the very beginning he was the most solid potential she had for a life beyond tragedy and supernatural danger. 

After everything that has tried to come between them this season Elena now truly understands that Damon is the direction she’s been going in from the start.

And apparently Damon has felt the same way for some time. 

“Elena, I’ve seen it since the second I laid eyes on you.”

This callback to their first meeting on that abandoned road could not be more important.

We’ve known for two seasons now that Damon met Elena first, the night her parents died. But there has never been much discussion of it beyond Elena confronting him about it after she completed the transition and the allusion she made to it during her confession of true love to him after graduation. 

Despite the unbelievable relevance of their first meeting, it is never spoken of. It’s simply accepted as another crucial detail of their love story. Something that brought them together when they least expected it.

But this parallel to that night proves how significant it really is that he met her when and how he did. Because she unknowingly changed the course of his entire life. She gave him a small glimpse into the life and future he could have once he let go of Katherine. 

This is how you know it has always been them. That this series is their story above anything else. 

The future is only ever mentioned in abstract terms on this show because of the constant threats that hang over everyone’s heads. And any time that someone broaches the subject it gets glossed over in favor of the current dilemma.

Both Stefan and Matt tried to bring the concept of the future into their relationships with Elena. Matt actually had a whole plan of where he and Elena would go after high school. Stefan intended to keep Elena human and continue living as human an existence as possible with her. 

Elena never reciprocated either of these hopes for the future. She flat out admitted that she wasn’t all that interested in what Matt was offering her. And rather than shutting Stefan down, because what he offered her was what she believed she wanted at the time, she merely told him that she couldn’t think about the future when everything was so uncertain in her present.

She no longer possesses this reticence towards the future and the potential it could hold for her. Now she can comfortably look ahead and see someone that she wants to be with and build a life with. She feels secure in what she has with Damon and all the fascinating places it could lead. 

And that is the first reason this episode is the ultimate evidence for their endgame. Because Elena Gilbert, despite the endless clouds of danger and pain that hang over her head, could give a damn about what might be coming for them as long as she can look forward to that future. To a life with Damon. 

Endgames are about the future. They are about being so sure of your love and trust and happiness with someone that not being with them isn’t an option. All roads lead to that person no matter how many different ways you look at it.

Damon is the end of every road for Elena. He has been since they crossed paths on a road three years ago. And she sees that more clearly now than ever before.

Which makes the tragic end of this episode infinitely more painful. 

Starting with how Damon died.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“You said to respect your choice. And I did. Now you can respect mine.”

“Woah, no, no that’s not how this works Elena. The second we cross that border you’re gonna feel everything, you’re gonna drown all over again. It’s gonna take you back to the night you died a human.”

“I know what I signed up for Damon. And I’m all in. What are you staring at? Drive.” 

Two things: what the actual fuck.

And WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

She got into the car with him voluntarily and drove into a fiery explosion knowing she was going to die.

This girl, who has died twice and almost died twenty times that much, willingly chose to die a third time to be with the man she loves. 

She didn’t even hesitate. She got into his car and shut the door with absolute purpose. The kind you only have when you’re so sure of the decision you’re making and why you’re making it that no one can dissuade you. 

Elena loves Damon so much, wants to be with him so much that she chose to die with him, that way if something went wrong and they got stuck on the Other Side they would still be together. 

She didn’t want him to die alone. She didn’t want him to be stuck in a supernatural purgatory alone. 

She didn’t want him to find peace or get sucked into oblivion alone. 

Damon has spent most of his life alone. Granted much of that was self imposed solitude, but his intention was always to end up with someone he could share himself and his life with completely, without reserve. He assumed that person was Katherine and that’s why he waited over a century for her.

It turns out he waited 145 years for a different doppelgänger. One who really would love him and trust him and live with him and die with him without reserve. 

Damon loves with no limitations. Every ounce of his being, his heart, mind, body and soul is devoted to the one he loves. To Elena.

And she loves him the same. Otherwise she never would’ve gotten in that car with him. 

“Damon…”

“I know. I know.”

The next time someone tries to tell me that Stefan and Elena’s romance was epic I’m going to die of laughter. 

Because if you want to talk about epic romance you should be talking about Damon and Elena.

Their last moment together on the same side of the veil as they barrel towards a certain death has them silently telling each other ‘I love you.’

They didn’t even say the words. Such is the power and promise and passion of their love that they didn’t even need to voice it to know it was the undeniable truth. 

And then Damon reached for her hand as the car sped directly towards the front windows of the Grille. 

They died holding hands. 

Do you understand what that means.

THEY DIED HOLDING HANDS. 

That is how you do epic romance. This nonsense declaration that Stelena had this epic love is complete bullshit. It fizzles and dies in the shadow of the real epic romance. It could never measure up to the unconquerable majesty that is Delena’s true love. 

And if it isn’t enough that they envision a future together, that Elena refused to let Damon sacrifice himself alone, that they held hands as they died in a fire (seriously the amount of symbolism for their bond as twin flames is practically its own plot line in this episode), then Damon’s death soliloquy should seal the deal. 

Because if hearing him say goodbye to Elena as she broke down and begged him to stay didn’t move you to tears than you are fucking heartless. 

“You lied to me.”

“Even if I wanted to apologize, you couldn’t hear me. So I won’t.”

“Please don’t leave me.”

“I don’t have a choice baby. You are by far the greatest thing to ever happen to me in my 173 years on this earth. The fact that I get to die knowing that I was loved. Not just by anyone, by you. Elena Gilbert. Its the epitome of a fulfilled life. It’s never gonna get any better than this. I peaked. I love you Elena.” 

“Please. Please come back to me.”

“Bye.”

“Come back to me.” 

This is why I’m still crying. 

This is why it’s been a week and I am still a wreck. 

Because what the fuck is this. No one, I repeat NO ONE, could ever achieve what Damon and Elena did here. No one could ever exhibit so much raw affection and devotion. 

No one could ever have a love that defies the existence of the veil between life and death. 

Elena is alive. Damon is dead. 

And this is the most beautiful, intimate, heartbreaking scene they’ve shared in five seasons. Which, considering the nature of their romance and the moments that have accompanied it, is really saying something.

Just to prove it, let’s dissect every second of this agonizing genius. 

“You lied to me.”

“Even if I wanted to apologize, you couldn’t hear me. So I won’t.”

In just over a hundred episodes Damon has never broken a promise to Elena. Somehow, someway he has always made sure to follow through for her even when the circumstances seemed impossible.

This is the first time that there just wasn’t any way around it. 

And unfortunately this broken promise, this lie, is taking him away from her. Permanently. 

Which merely serves to compound the already mind-numbing tragedy of this.

For gods sake she died with him to avoid this, to ensure that she wouldn’t lose him. She crossed over to the Other Side to be with him in life or death. It didn’t matter, so long as they were together.

And now that choice has been taken from her. Now he’s forever beyond her reach. 

“Please don’t leave me.”

Elena Gilbert has lost an almost incalculable number of people over the years. She’s experienced more grief in her life than anyone ever should.

And in all those losses, through all of that grief, she has never once begged for the person who was dead or dying not to leave her. She has never pleaded with them or even the universe itself for the ones she loves to stay with her.

But as Damon is standing right in front of her, invisible to her eye and silent to her ears, gently touching her hair and looking at her like she is the only girl in the whole world to him, she’s tearfully beseeching him not to leave her behind like everyone else she’s ever loved has.

He was the only one who had never left. The idea of losing him was unfathomable to her. That’s why she chose to die with him.

And it blew up in her face. Literally. She’s losing him anyway.

This is when the sobs began.

“I don’t have a choice baby.”

Let’s just not even talk about how fucking tragic it is that the first time a pet name is EVER uttered on this show in the context of a romantic relationship that half the ship can’t even hear it being said.

Although the fact that he used it so naturally and sweetly proves he’s called her that before. In private, in the deep stillness of the night when it was just the two of them and the rest of the world was nowhere to be seen or heard.

Baby.

He fucking called her baby. 

Damon Salvatore, king of the legendary love confessions, adores this girl so much that he uses a completely modern term of endearment with her. 

Because she’s his girl. He can call her that because she’s his. 

Finally, after over a century of waiting to have a real partner in life, someone who reciprocated his feelings, he found a girl who really is his to love, to cherish and protect and devote himself entirely too.

And now he has to leave her. 

“You are by far the greatest thing to ever happen to me in my 173 years on this earth. The fact that I get to die knowing that I was loved. Not just by anyone, by you. Elena Gilbert. Its the epitome of a fulfilled life.”

This far and away eclipses every incredible affectionate monologue he has ever given her. This is when I could no longer see through the haze of my tears.

As if we didn’t already know, this verifies for all time that she is everything to him. After nearly two centuries on earth he credits her with being the single greatest thing to ever happen to him. Something that made his life worth it. 

And to top it all off, as she completely breaks down in front of him, he remains entirely calm and peaceful, content with his predicament because he is dying as a man loved by an angel.

Because that’s exactly how he sees her. Thats exactly what he’s saying here.

It isn’t that he was loved, finally, as he deserved after all these years.

It was that he was loved BY HER. 

It was her love, her acceptance and trust and affection for him that made his entire life, and all its persistent darkness, worth it.

He doesn’t care that he had to wait over a hundred years, that he had to spend five years held captive in metaphorical hell, that he existed for essentially six decades with no emotions, that the woman he died for deceived and betrayed him. 

None of that matters because it brought him to her. And she was worth it all, every second of misery and self loathing and insecurity and torture.

All because she loves him. That’s what gave his life meaning. Fulfillment.

Are you crying yet. 

“It’s never gonna get any better than this. I peaked.”

How is it even possible for a man to love a woman this much. 

The man is essentially condemned to disappear into some supernatural oblivion, to never see this girl that he loves more than life itself ever again. And rather than choosing to lament his fate, he finds peace from the happiness and love that she brought to his life. 

She is the highlight of his existence. Being with her, loving her and being loved by her was the peak of his century and a half as a vampire. 

I can barely wrap my mind around it. 

Their love is divine. Almost religious in its righteous supremacy. 

“I love you Elena.”

And this is where my mental faculties shut down.

Not because he told her he loves her.

Because of how he told her.

In the epitome of the Sotto Voce Damon voice. 

Soft and serene and so damn sweet I’m crying just thinking about it. 

He whispered it like he was saying a prayer, thanking every god in every religion in every universe for this girl’s very existence, for bringing her to him and allowing her to love him, and him to love her.

He views her as a gift. A miracle. Everything in the world that he’s ever wanted.

And he couldn’t be more grateful that after all the horrible decisions he made he was granted the privilege of being with the woman of his dreams. The only girl for him.

His twin flame. The mirror to his soul. 

How can anyone actually expect to compete with this.

How can anyone even imagine that they could ever be equal to this love that is so all-consuming, out of this world, beyond the realms of sanity, that brings you the utmost joy and despair all at once, that laughs in the face of classic true loves like Romeo and Juliet. 

No one can hold a candle to this. Damon and Elena are their own, a love that can’t be totally explained or understood simply by virtue of its utter fire breathing magnificence. 

Because at the end of all this, it doesn’t matter that Damon is supposed to be gone. That Elena believes he is gone. That even Damon himself believes he will never see her again. 

Death cannot defeat them. 

No separation, no amount of time or distance can stop them, can keep them from each other, can conquer what they’ve built together.

Damon Salvatore and Elena Gilbert are a sovereign force of passionate pleasure and intimacy, unbreakable trust and loyalty, raw and brutal love.

Damon may be gone, but that won’t stop them. Nothing can.

Because their love is a force that transcends worlds. 

8

With soulmates, you get together and everything is perfect.

With a Twin Flame there is chaos: one can be attached, age difference, different locations, or the person has some serious issues and is afraid to open up to the energy because the bond is too intense.