definitely fake but who

2

THE TAGS OMFG (there r two pics bc it wouldnt load unless i tapped it). “Uhm???? ive had TONS of girlfriends, im obviously the hottest human being alive with my definitely-not-fake four million girlfriends”

WHO SAYS THAT

WHO SAYS THEY HAVE ‘TONS OF GIRLFRIENDS’ 

THAT IS ANOTHER WAY OF SAYING ‘I HAVE 0 GIRLFRIENDS AND NO FRIENDS IN GENERAL FOR THAT MATTER HAHA MAN IM LONELY’

ooohhh my goooood you guys.

-Darastrix

anonymous asked:

what would kakashi, kiba, and itachi be like as best friends with a female shinobi? thanks :)

No problemo, hope these are okay! Thanks for Requesting!

HC’s on Kakashi, Kiba, and Itachi Being Friends with a Female Shinobi 

Kakashi:

Originally posted by hichamkiy

  • Kakashi is the greatest Best Friend ever tbh.
  • He and his bestie are going to always request to be on the same team for missions. This is because they work well together and would feel better in each others company versus being with some random stick in the mud jounin. God help anyone else who’s on their mission because they will have to endure hours of non-stop conversations. Kakashi turns into a Chatty Cathy when he’s with his best friend, it doesn’t even matter if they talk on a frequent basis, he cannot shut-up.
  • I feel as though that one of the requirements to be Kakashi’s bestie (regardless of gender) is to be a book worm. He enjoys breaking any and all books down with people and really likes to hear their opinions. And his bestie is also required to have read the Make-Out Paradise series, even if it’s for the soul purpose of laughing at the cheesiness, she needs to have read it. I can kind of imagine the two getting into an argument because his gal pal is going to find it “sexist” and that “women are not always thinking of sex.” But Kakashi would come back with, “Regardless, it is still good writing.”
    • This will lead to very casual talks about their sex lives, they know porn preferences, kinks, who they’ve done it with, where they have done it, they know it all about each other. 
  • His Ninken LOVE her, they like her over Kakashi. She smells better, her skin is softer, and she carries treats with her. It almost makes Kakashi sad, but if his ninken are going to like anyone over him, he’s glad it is her. And she would be the only one he lends his ninken to. 
  • His friend will always be there for him while he competes with Guy. She has the job of timing things, calling out who won, and sometimes picking the challenge.
  • Kakashi is going to be the big brother to his girl best friend. Did some scum bag just catcall her? Not on his watch, he does not care if she can hold her own and could easily kill the person, he is going to step in. Is she going on a date? He will interrogate the person and make sure they are good enough for her and he will definitely send Pakkun to follow her. 
  • When she comes back wounded from a mission he is the first one to visit her in the hospital. He brings her flowers, her favorite candy, and some reading material. He then scolds her for how stupid she was being on the mission and tells her to be more careful next time. 
  • She is the first one to see him without his mask and borrows his mask from time to time for giggles.

Kiba:

Originally posted by prism17

  • Kiba and his female best friend are going to be the most competitive people you will ever meet. Morning, noon, and night, they will compete doing whatever one of them suggests. They are like the teenage versions of Kakashi and Guy. Watching the two of them compete is almost unbearable but once someone points out that they are like a married couple all is well. Here is an actual conversation:
    • “I don’t care if you are a girl, I’ll still kick your ass!”
    • “i DoN’t CaRe If YoU aRe A gIrL, i’Ll StILl KiCk YoUr AsS!”
  • The two of them like going on missions together, they can tolerate each other and always have the best of times. However, they will carry over some bickering, so other members on the mission better buckle up because they are in for a bumpy ride. The two often critique each other on missions, often saying “this jutsu would have been better” or “you executed that poorly.” But they do this because they care for each other and not only want the other to be safe but to succeed as a ninja too. 
  • He does have a habit of flirting with her, and she flirts right back. You would think they were in a relationship and don’t be surprised if he ends up dating his girl best friend.
  • The two of them bond over joking, but the one joke that makes Kiba laugh but his gal pal let out a deep sigh is the “that’s what she said” joke. Every time he says that, she punches him on the head.
  • Kiba’s mother sees his gal pal as a second daughter and will frequently comment about how she prefers her over Kiba. This drives Kiba up a wall and will usually trigger more bickering. Kiba’s sister adores his best friend and typically has pleasant conversations with her. And you can bet that they are shit-talking Kiba during exchanges. I can picture Kiba’s best friend going over to his house quite often, either to hang out, have dinner, or to simply crash there. 
  • Akamaru LOVES Kiba’s bestie and will always be there to either comfort her or protect her. She is also one of the few people Akamaru will let hold him (pre-shippuden) and ride him (post-shippuden).
  • Kiba’s best friend acts like she has superior fashion knowledge over him and always drags him for wearing a hoodie. It’s one of their many, many inside jokes.
  • The two of them often go to each other for dating advice. Kiba asks what girls like, his bestie asks what guys like. And in the event that the other person gets an s/o, older sibling instincts kick in. Kiba will keep an eye on his friends new s/o, and if he even catches a whiff of something fishy he’ll beat the crap out of them - no question. Same thing with his friend, if she does not like Kiba’s new s/o, she will shut that shit down.
  • In the event that his friend gets hurt he will be the first one to arrive to the hospital, but not with flowers, he’ll leave that job to Hinata. He will greet his friend with a smartass remark like, “Nice going dumbass.” But will then press them for details because he really is concerned. 

Itachi:

Originally posted by objto

  • Congratulations to the person who was able to become his best friend after Shisui
  • Itachi sees his best friend as the little sister he never had, the two have THAT kind of relationship. He will spend his days teaching her all of his techniques (or what he can without the use of a sharingan) and hope that that is enough for them. He does not care if she’s a fellow akatsuki member, he’s going to teach her all that he has. He is definitely the most protective out of the three men listed.
  • Itachi is very talkative to his best friend, but only when they are in private. He spills all his darkest secrets to her because he knows that she will understand him and honestly that is so refreshing to him. So yes, she does know about why he slaughtered his clan and knows about Sasuke. Which by the way, is another thing he likes to talk to her about. 
  • He likes Kisame for missions but would not necessarily mind if she tagged along. It’s nothing against her, it’s just work and when there is work friendships are pushed aside. Although he does enjoy hearing Kisame and his best friend argue, it makes for high quality entertainment. 
  • Whenever Itachi comes back from a long meeting, his friend will take him out for tea and discuss what happened on the mission over that.
  • I could definitely see Itachi being the type of guy who fakes being his best friends boyfriend in awkward situations. If they’re at a bar and some asshole tries flirting with her he will throw and arm around her shoulder and glare the man down. 
  • These two are the king and queen of two a.m. talks. They will stay up for hours talking about life’s greatest questions, political opinions, etc. They also know each others ideal types for BOTH genders, what job they would want, how many kids, what kind of house, they know EVERYTHING about each other. 
  • The two of them automatically become the rivaling parents against Pein and Konan. 
  • If his best friend gets wounded on a mission he will personally help treat their wounds while scolding them about “being responsible.” But on the other side of the spectrum she scolds him about over using his eyes.
    • I can also see her teasing him by holding up a number on her hand and asking him what it is. 
      • “Well?”
      • “Four. It’s fucking four. I am not THAT blind.”
You Make Me Better

BASED ON THIS POST by @bleebug and subsequent comments from @thesschesthair and @seethelovelyintheworld Thanks ladies for this inspirational prompt, I had a great time writing this.  Thanks to @laschatzi and @xhookswenchx for read through and beta services!

Also on ao3 and ffnet

CS Neighbors AU where Emma is a nurse and Killian is her definitely-faking-it hypochondriac neighbor who uses illnesses and injuries as an excuse to talk to her.

*~♥~*

Emma had just put her dinner together and sat down on her couch with a nice glass of red wine, and Netflix ready to go. The upside to working in a small private practice was for the first time since attending college, Emma Swan had a somewhat normal schedule. It allowed her peaceful evenings to herself to do what she pleased. Tonight she’d been home from another long day for a mere half an hour and was beyond ready to relax.

“Swan!”

“I should have turned off the goddamn lights,” she muttered.

“Swaaaan!” the interloper persisted, pounding on her door again.

The downside meant a certain pesky neighbor soliciting free medical advice on the regular. Rolling her eyes, she put the television remote and her glass of wine on the coffee table, knowing he wasn’t going to let up.

It wasn’t that she couldn’t be neighborly, but Killian Jones was a menace. The man was a hypochondriac of the worst kind - a fake hypochondriac - some new illness ailing him weekly. She flung her door open just as he was poised to knock again. The breeze it caused carried in his scent, and Emma was olfactorily assaulted by just one of the real reasons Killian Jones drove her crazy.  The next havoc he wreaked on her was the sight waiting before her. Killian Jones, shirtless… again, gingerly propped up against the frame of her door. Last time he’d shown up shirtless he’d insisted that a tiny mosquito bite on his back was a case of the shingles. She wondered if his shirtless visits were nothing more than a chance for him to flaunt his altogether delicious chest: just the right amount of definition and muscle covered by taut skin that pulled as he gesticulated his every word, all overlaid with beautiful black chest hair that descended into a thin trail disappearing under the waistband of his pajama pants.

“Swan, thank the gods you’re here, lass. I need medical assistance.”

Keep reading

So I’ve put together some of my favorite stories! I hope you all will enjoy them as much as I do!

Guys, thank you for your work and thank you for your words!

(note: be careful, some fanfics contain spoilers for s7)

Oneshots

Wait Out the Storm by @killians-dimples - Killian and Emma are enjoying a day on the water when a storm happens upon them. They decide to wait it out down below, where Killian has some interesting ideas as to what can occupy their time. Mindless fluff and smut. 

Something Just Like This by @killians-dimples​ - Killian and Emma enjoy a quiet morning in their home.

February Thirteenth & February Fourteenth  by @cutieodonoghue - After a trip around the world, emma returns home to storybrooke, unprepared to be suddenly entwined in killian jones’ life thanks to ruby’s constant meddling, and her dad’s insistence that killian is off limits.

Let’s Just Be Us by @cutieodonoghue​ - rockstar!killian and movie star!emma secretly dating, but those pesky fans figure it out… 

Keep reading

Soulmate AU: You Can’t Lie to Your Soulmate (Mobster!Ben Organa-Solo x Reader)

A/N: Holy shit, it’s been half a year and I’m only just now posting a Kylo Ren fic.

Ben Organa-Solo and Kylo Ren were not the same person. Sure, they were both very tall, dark-haired young men who expressed an air of intelligence and aloofness, and they were never seen in the same place at the same time, but that was to be expected: Ben Organa-Solo was the well to-do son of an adored senator, a self-proclaimed arts dealer by trade on top of that. Kylo Ren was a mask-wearing gang leader who terrorized an entire city doing God acknowledges what under the shade of night. 

No, they certainly weren’t the same … Because Ben Organa-Solo had the sense and decency to hide that side of himself from everyone else.

Nobody needed to know that his friends (?) Armitage Hux or Phasma Silverman were more like his righthand man and woman in crime. Nobody needed to know that an abundance of his money was actually linked to his involvement in black-and-grey market sales or back alley dealings with the indebted. And nobody really needed to know that he had been out on this particular evening, inflicting a hit on some deplorable who couldn’t keep his mouth shut about a deal gone awry. 

That’s what made Ben’s sudden visit to the hospital for a cut running down his left temple to the bottom of his cheek both unexpected but easier to get away with: nobody knew who he moonlighted as, so he could just lie about it.

Keep reading

Mockingjay Manor - Ch 1

Revived from the dead after a wee bit of technical difficulty… Welcome to round two of everlark-your-own-adventure!

We kick this round off in style, courtesy of the hilarious and talented @burkygirl (with an assist from @xerxia31). You have 48 hours to vote on the direction of the next chapter of the story (until noon EDT on Thursday, August 31st). Remember: vote in the comments, not in the tags! And don’t forget to spread the word by reblogging. The more fans playing this game, the more fun it will be!



My skirt is crawling up again. I twitch it back into place and shift uncomfortably in my chair in the lawyer’s office. I’m not sure why I’m here, really. Haymitch Abernathy was my uncle, but mostly he was just an annoying pain in my ass who spent family diners criticizing my decisions from the other side of his highball glass.

So when his lawyer called after his funeral and said my presence was needed at the reading of his will, I was floored. At best, Haymitch only tolerated me. Why in God’s name he’d leave anything to me while that crazy wife of his had her claws firmly clenched on the wallet where he kept his dotcom millions was a complete mystery. I’d immediately decided not to go. The lawyer could call me later.

The reason for my change of mind is sitting right beside me, holding my hand and projecting an aura of confidence while Effie, Haymitch’s wife, covertly sneaks glances in our direction and thinly veils her irritation at our presence.

Peeta convinced me that it was disrespectful to not attend the reading if I’d been asked to be there, but honestly, I think he just wanted a front seat to the drama. The corner of his mouth twitches every time he catches Aunt Effie staring at us. If she was only looking at him, I’d understand. My boyfriend, with his brawny physique and golden hair, looks hot in a t-shirt and a pair of jeans, but he’s devastating in his navy sports jacket, white shirt and orange tie. He shifts in his chair and winks at me. The shit. He’s loving every second of Eff-zilla’s reaction to our attendance.

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Coincidences Part I (Bucky x Reader)

Okay, so this is me attempting at one of those “I texted you by accident and we ended up talking and I actually think you’re a pretty decent human being” tropes. I don’t know how it’s going to work out because this is the first time I’m doing something like this, but I dunno.  Maybe it’ll be cool. 

Anyways. 

Without further ado: Happy Reading!

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (Modern AU if that’s what its called)

Words: 4259

Warnings: I mean, swearing a little. But none other than that. 

Excerpt:  Blowing a sigh through your nose, you realize you probably should just leave it alone and not answer at all. Then again, you are slightly curious to at least find out who texted you. They obviously thought they were talking to someone else, so it couldn’t hurt to maybe steer them in a different direction. Maybe.

*After writing this first part, I have determined that this is going to have to be a multi-part fic. Yeah. This got away from me, but I’m gonna try to post the parts in succession. 

Tagging: @langinator @beccaanne814-blog @fairchild21 

Series Tags: @melanie451 @sebstanwassup @colagirl5 @winenighthoe @hillrich @gotnotfeature

Originally posted by seabasschino

Originally posted by mylastlove-mylastsong

Your name: submit What is this?

New Message from: Unknown

3:32 p.m hey u still wanna get that drink sometime? 

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Tom Hiddleston Falling in Love With You

Originally posted by blog-vibe

An: A huge thank you to @fangirl-who-dreams for giving me the idea to write this– I love you girl, you’re awesome <3


  • You’re a famous actress who’s been in  too many movies to count. 
  • Pretty much everybody knows your name and who you are– so Tom’s obviously heard of you and seen some of your movies.
  • Ok, he’s seen all of them and already has kind of a crush on you (which is a secret)

Keep reading

CaptainSwan FF One-shots Recs p.5

Hello Beautiful Fandom, look I made another rec list! Thanks to CS AU Week we have some lovely new one shots featuring our favorite couple, but this list also includes some old one-shots that I believe you should check out, If you haven’t already. Hope you enjoy.

You can find here my other lists as well. 

Side note, I try to tag the authors by their tumblr name, but I couldn’t find some, if you know it, let me know. 

But Consider This…Aliens, @welllpthisishappening

Killian Jones is going to lose his mind. He’s never going to sleep again. Because there is an alien living in the apartment above his. And maybe he’s ok with it. Yeah, definitely losing his mind.

Prompt, @its-imperator-furiosa

Emma and Killian has been dating for a while but they haven’t tell their friends yet, because they don’t know how Emma’s brother David will react, since he ones told Killian to not go near his sister, but he walks on them kissing or something and he yells Finally.

Past the Clouds, We’ll Find the Stars, @blowmiakisscolin

CS + Adoption and more: A dash of angst, a sprinkling of humor & a whole lotta fluff.

Prompt, @initiala

You buy your man a mug without looking inside… 

it’s a party in the usa, @jmosfreckles

A Fourth of July AU written for CS AU week day 1: Holiday AU. America vs. Great Britain antics ensue.

Old Habits Die Hard, Ok?, @jmosfreckles

I kissed you goodbye on accident - old habits die hard, ok?!

worth the risk, worth the guarantee, @piratesails

The rule is simple enough: don’t fall for your best friend. No matter how loudly her laugh echoes in your head in the middle of the night, or how beautifully endearing the freckles that climb up her arms look under the afternoon sun. Every single movie and book and story he’s come across has warned him of this in one way or another.

And yet, Killian finds it hard to run out of reasons why Emma Swan is the most perfect person he has and will ever meet.

Unhand the Carnations, @blowmiakisscolin

CS Flower Thief AU: I saw a prompt on Tumblr (see notes) and I did a thing. Emma catches Killian stealing flowers from her garden and assumes he’s being a cheap date. She insists on coming with him to find out whether the girl is pretty enough to warrant flower theft…and he doesn’t know how to break it to her that he’s taking the flowers to the graveyard.

Never Drinking Again, @its-like-a-story-of-love

Emma Swan wakes up on her 21st birthday with no recollection of what happened the night before. All she has to piece everything together are her Snapchat story and a handsome stranger. (Drunken Snapchat story AU) 

You Make Me Better, @ilovemesomekillianjones

CS Neighbors AU where Emma is a nurse and Killian is her definitely-faking-it hypochondriac neighbor who uses illnesses and injuries as an excuse to talk to her.

You Look Happier, @cutieodonoghue

Radio DJ David Nolan’s sister Emma moves to town to be close to him as he prepares for his upcoming wedding to Mary Margaret. Maybe he’s just a little bit crazy from wedding stress, but he kinda wants to set her up with his co-host and best friend Killian. 

i’m missing you like crazy, @cutieodonoghue

“Established long distance relationship, one of them surprises the other by showing up right before midnight [on New Years Eve].” with a side helping of vloggers au! (a mixture of angst and fluff beyond this point)  

already in love,   @icapturedkindness

For CS AU week beloved tropes - friends to lovers.

a dare and a truth…, @startswithhope

Bed sharing prompt: “Would you please get comfortable and go the fuck to sleep already?”

Body Say, @seriouslyhooked

AU where Emma and Killian are neighbors in Boston. Emma gets home from a girls night only to stumble upon Killian who she has been crushing on since he moved in. Sparks fly and it is basically just a mini smut fest if I’m honest, but we then get a flash forward to see what happens with Emma and Killian in the future. I’m sure I have done a oneshot or two like this before, but hey, we can always use more fluff right?

Frigging in the Rigging, @passing-fanciful

Friends do things for other friends’ birthdays. No big deal, right?

Camped Out,  @always-a-slut-for-pirates

A reluctant Emma goes camping with David, Mary Margaret and Killian.

the love boat, @captainnagata

“How good is your mother with dealing with the unexpected?”

“Why?”

“Because ship captains have the power to officiate weddings and the idea of her own daughter entering a marriage in a matter of days, on a cruise, could sober her up enough to leave you alone for good.”

a (sort of) cinderella story, @jennifer-morrison

sure she sits with him for a while after he’s put henry to bed following a late stakeout and sure she invites him over to make dinner more often than she doesn’t but that’s their usual. it isn’t because she likes him, likes him.
(no one tell henry he agreed to this silly masquerade because he likes, likes her, okay?)

something so magic about you, @mycaptainswanjones

Emma Swan just found the perfect gift for Mary Margaret’s birthday. The only problem? A blue-eyed stranger with a ridiculously attractive face and accent just stole it from right under her nose. Modern AU. Captain Swan.

The Kinship Harvest, @thesschesthair

We’re going to pretend the portal at the end of S3 never opened and Zelena was defeated without any interruptions. We’re also going to pretend Emma couldn’t go through with leaving for New York much to everyone’s relief. We’re also going to pretend that I can make up a believable holiday for the Enchanted forest lol.

Untitled, @distant-rose

Emma Swan is a crusty twice divorced bailsbond person who is a lone wolf by nature, excluding the company of her seven-year old son, of course. Her occasional companion of choice is a Seattle detective who is also a divorcee and an ex-military guy who got his hand blown off on some super secret Black Op mission in Afghanistan. Killian Jones is nearly as crusty as Emma and a closet sci-fi nerd who never fails to help Emma with a difficult skip or babysit her son last minute. There’s always been an unspoken attraction between them that’s held back by their memory of their failed marriages.

The Worst/Best Christmas Ever,  @captainhookcaptainfreedom

When their flight home is cancelled, Emma is convinced that she and Henry are going to have the worst Christmas ever. However, their next store neighbor, Killian Jones, has different ideas. 

stranger to the ground, @evil–isnt–born

Test pilot Killian Jones and engineer Emma Swan spend their days making history as part of the Avro Arrow program. When the program is suddenly cancelled and the jets ordered destroyed, the choice becomes whether to let it become a thing of the past or save a piece of their shared history.

STRAIGHT AS AN ARROW (TO YOU),  @nightships 

The Avro Arrow program was a shining beacon for Canada - when it was cancelled, questions went unanswered, and reporter Emma Swan has no intentions of leaving them that way. Major Killian Jones couldn’t agree less, especially given his own history with the program, but Emma wouldn’t be Emma if she let that stop her.

Too Hot (Hot Damn), @this-too-too-sullied-flesh

Emma just doesn’t know what’s hotter–the weather and the fact that the air conditioning is out in her building, or her neighbor.

stop talking in codescocoa-and-rum

Killian Jones has been in love with Emma Swan for as long as he can remember. He often told himself it wouldn’t be wise to fall for his best friend, but his heart has a queer way of never listening to his brain, especially when a breathtakingly alluring woman with pretty green eyes and lovely blonde waves is involved.

1-2 Crush on You, @allrightfine

“We’ll skip all this, go right to a place where you’re more comfortable. We’ll want to aim for that sweet spot between knowing all those little idiosyncrasies and them becoming annoying, I’d imagine.” (vaguely Halloween-flavored AU smutty fluff!).

A Lifetime of Kissing, @justanotherwannabeclassic

There were many things that were becoming of a princess. The ability to carry on polite conversation, fluency in many languages, and an appreciation of both the arts and sciences were such things. What wasn’t becoming of a princess was drunkenly marrying a Naval lieutenant while on a diplomatic visit to a nearby kingdom. (Lieutenant Duckling).

The Pianist - Request

This is a Sequel for The Love Story Duet.

Requested by @blissfullyshipping: I was hoping that you could do a sequel to Sherlock’s Love Story. Something like Sherlock is trying to find the reader, and is lowkey stalking her, wondering when to talk to her again. But he’s left it late because of high profile cases and reader thinks he’s forgotten her?

Pairing: Sherlock x reader

Word Count: 2.511

Warnings: None.

A/N: So this was strange to write. The original post will be forever a piece of it’s own, but I couldn’t let go off the chance of writing a second part. Hopefully, this will do it justice.

Happy Sequel Friday! Enjoy!

Originally posted by roza-roza-my-roza

“What are you doing?” Watson inquired as he looked up from the dead body in front of him. The detective, however, did not answer. “Sherlock, what are you doing?”

Without looking up from his phone, Sherlock nodded. “Yes, I agree.”

“Sherlock Holmes, put that phone down!” Watson insisted, getting up from the floor he had been kneeled in. “We are in the middle of a case, for Christ’s sake!”

Sherlock locked his phone and hid it on his pocket, finally looking at John. “Are you still checking the body?”

“Yes, I am, because I do my job!” John argued, and Sherlock simply gave him a confused glance. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I was just… Checking my Sims,” Sherlock replied, clicking his tongue.

“Your sims?” John inquired, not wanting to believe that Sherlock had actually fallen into that lack of interest.

“Yes, his name is Skippy,” Sherlock snapped quickly, and they could hear one of the forensic detectives leaving the room to have a laugh outside. “He does Tech Support…”

“Skippy?” John huffed, “Skippy from Tech Support… Instead of focusing on solving this case you’re…”

Keep reading

CS Neighbors au where Emma is a nurse and Killian is her definitely-faking-it hypochondriac neighbor who uses illnesses and injuries as an excuse to talk to her.

***

Killian knocks on her door wearing nothing but pajama pants.

“I’m dying.”

“Hello to you, too, Killian.”

“Yes, right, hello.”

“What’s it this time?”

“Breast cancer.”

“Uh huh. If you think you have cancer, you should go to a hospital.”

“I don’t like hospitals. Please would you just check for me? There’s a lump.”

“Ugh, fine.”

“Right here. Yeah. There! Do you feel it?”

“… That is your pectoralis minor. It’s a muscle.”

“Oh. You’re quite sure?”

“Literally everyone has them. I’m sure. You’ve got the same thing on the other side.”

“Bloody hell, wouldn’t you know it.”

“See? Your ‘breasts’ are fine. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“… Don’t suppose you’d have a bandaid for this paper cut on my finger, would you?”

***

(*coughs* All is good and well until he comes to her door claiming “lovesickness.”)

3

Two-Tails- They have a incurable weakness for tea and cake.

Moss Spirit- These tricksy cat-like creatures hunt in family groups by weaving illusions of luxurious feasts, and surrounding the area, sleeping still as stone. The moment a creature is lured in to taking a bite of the fake food, the spell is broke, and their eyes open as they leap onto their quarry without mercy.

New Moon Two-Tails- It is said that the very first Two-Tails were crafted from the primal magics within the Thornfens by the first Swarm Queen, the revered Cocoon Mother, as her personal companions.

~~~

So ary had the idea of the third one being a swip swap using drops from the other two. I likes it~! 

Also bonus (from talks with ary, who could not get over her worry on how they would walk on the ground):

((ps I adore my roommate))

Reminder that animal alters are definitely a thing. Alters can be things like dogs, horses, cats, etc etc. Some may be able to front and some may not. Some may be able to speak and act generally human when fronting, some may not. Some will act like actual animals. These are all ok. 

Animal alters can be metaphorical for abuse, for example if an abuser compared you to an animal or if it felt like you were being treated like one. 

They can be protectors, animals that feel safe and strong and will fight off abusers. 

They can be comfort, soft and warm alters who are caretakers. 

Animal alters are definitely not fake and are actually relatively common.

anonymous asked:

trevor did taekwondo and rugby in high school, so i like to think fahc trevor is good at both taking and landing hits, even if it's for entirely different reasons (less athletic, more necessary for survival). it surprises the hell out of anyone who sees; he might be tall but he weighs about 100 pounds, not exactly combat material. so when he knocks 3 people out after being shot in the shoulder and hit in the head, the fakes (who met him ~6 min ago) are definitely intrigued

I wrote the answer to this hours ago and forgot to post it W H O O P S

During a bank heist, a civilian managed to incapacitate the Lads, dislocate Ryan’s arm, and make off with all the cash.

Geoff was pissed that they lost money thanks to that heist, and he was impressed that a civilian managed to pull that off. Even more so, he was surprised and shocked to get a package in the mail from the civilian. It was half the cash from the heist, with a note that said “sorry about your guys.”

To quote Michael after the whole thing, “Who the fuck does that guy think he is?”

bleebug prompt/CS au masterlist [edit 4/30/17]

okie dokie shipmates, since I keep making these things and everyone is left wondering if someone is gonna write the thing, I decided to make a masterlist to help you sweet goobers out 😚   (for the writers: if you want me to @ you after the au prompt you’re writing so i can direct others to your page, please let me know!!)

✅  = someone has come to me and said they wanna write the thing
❓  = i’m not sure if someone is writing the thing
🚫  = i don’t think anyone is writing the thing
💩  = i will write the thing (eventually)
🍾  = someone has written the thing!!

CS aus

Celebrity Assistant!Killian/ Celebrity!Emma au where Killian does literally everything for Emma 🚫 

​College CS au where relationship-virgin Emma asks romantic-at-heart Killian for dating advice and he instead offers his services as her “dating trial-run”  🚫 

Coworkers CS au prompt where Emma vows to abstain from sex for a year right before she gets a new partner, Killian Jones  ✅  by @idristardis

Neighbors CS au where Emma is a nurse and Killian is her definitely-faking-it hypochondriac neighbor who uses illnesses and injuries as an excuse to talk to her.  🍾  >>>  You Make Me Better by @ilovemesomekillianjones

Enchanted Forest CS au where Princess Emma is a guest aboard Captain Silver’s ship when Killian and Liam are both still indentured servants  ✅  by @imhookedonaswan

Modern CS au where Emma works for the Innocence Project and Killian is her new client, imprisoned for allegedly killing his ex-girlfriend  ❓  (someone might be writing this but i don’t know who)

Celebrity CS au where Emma is an actress and Killian is a musician and they are secretly dating but fans keep finding every little thing that would hint at their relationship  🍾   >>>  let’s just be us part I / part II / part III by @cutieodonoghue   &  ✅  (another writer is also doing the thing)

Captain Charming/CS au where Charming and Emma go through the wardrobe together and he raises her for the first decade but then gets whisked away to Neverland without her  ✅ 

The Mummy CS au where Emma is the gun-toting American with foul manners and Killian is the smart but naïve librarian/Egyptologist who hires Emma to take him to Hamunaptra  💩   (coughs and directs you to my gift for lena)

Modern CS au where Emma works at a beauty salon, Killian comes in to get his chest waxed for the first time at the urging of some friends who want to set him up with another woman  🍾   >>> Can’t Strip it Away by @hollyethecurious

Prompt lists

Pet-related prompts and another one here (not sure if any have been done)

Random prompts  (some of these have been written: One – Two – Six , and i’m not sure about the rest of them)

I’ll edit this list and rebleeb when new stuff gets added or if writers tell me they’ve changed their minds. :))  I will tag the newest edit on a reblog with “#most recent masterlist” so hopefully it’ll be easy to tell. 

OK but like listen, wondering if you’re just faking it to get attention is basically a sure sign that you’re not faking it for attention because like!! Anyone who actually is faking for attention definitely doesn’t wonder if they are, they know that they are and have decided that that’s alright with them.

Yeah, sure, you could have self diagnosed wrong, but that doesn’t mean you were faking everything, it just means you made a mistake, and that’s OK.

YOOOOOO TWO NEW SEASONS!!!

So just a reminder:

  • Jane is an asexual lesbian who has never experienced an orgasm
  • Sutton is her bi/pan gf
  • Sutton has had a gf before (her name is Jenny)
  • Pinstripe Guy is definitely a fake woke asshole who can’t write and doesn’t deserve Jane
  • Richard is a clingy doofus with two brain cells
  • Alex is perfect and deserves all the happiness in the world
  • Jacqueline is poly and dating Lauren

the fake ah crew definitely have to take turns for who gets to decide how a post-heist celebration should be played out

like, gavin, michael, and lindsay always decide to do a bar crawl. and, okay, here’s the thing: you have not been on a true bar crawl until you have bar-crawled with the fake ah crew. cops are called. lots of making out happens. people lose their pants–this has nothing to do with the making out.

jack and geoff usually go for an casual party/feast at the penthouse (geoff’s tends to involve a great deal more booze, and jack always orchestrates a massive pizza delivery). sometimes they’ll go for a little bit of bar-hopping, but listen: they are tired. they just spent all day heisting, and they are tired. they say they’re not going to fall asleep by nine o’clock, but they do. 

jeremy and mica? block party. share the celebration, share the joy, bust open some fire hydrants and buy up all the beer and hot dog buns and fireworks in the tri-county area. (also, jeremy: “you guys have to carry me around on your shoulders in celebration.” 
“uh, for how long?” 
“when does the sun come up?”)

nobody lets ray pick anymore because the very first time he was like, “i want to sit on my couch and play resident evil alone.”
“you– the way you want to celebrate as a group is for us to go away.”
“yup. also, stop at that convenience store before you drop me off. i need snacks.”

and honestly no one can predict what the fuck ryan is going to say. either he’s totally fucking with them or he’s using the opportunity to unveil some unprecedented hobbies.
“we’re going minigolfing.”
“we’re baking tiramisu.”
“we’re adopting all the dogs at the animal shelter. every single one of them.”