The Types as Character Tropes

Based on stereotypes, duh.

INTP: Absent-Minded Professor, Erudite Stoner, Gadgeteer Genius, Reluctant Mad Scientist, This Is Your Brain On Evil

INFP: The Anti-Nihilist, Byronic Hero, Because You Were Nice to Me, The Dark Side Will Make You Forget, Not-So-Harmless Villain

ISTJ: The Reliable One, Unfazed Everyman, Cloudcuckoolander’s Minder, Loyal to the Position, Obstructive Bureaucrat

ISFJ: Yamato Nadeshiko, Humble Hero, Tranquil Fury, Churchgoing Villain, Love Makes You Evil

ENFJ: The Paragon, The Chooser of the One, Warrior Therapist, Soap Box Sadie, Psycho Psychologist

ENTJ: The Leader, Cultured Badass, Seme, The Corrupter, Visionary Villain

ESTP: Determinator, Ace Pilot, Da Editor, Blood Knight, Corrupt Bureaucrat

ESFP: Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot, Plucky Office Girl, Obfuscating Stupidity, Hidden Depths, The Ophelia

INTJ: The Spock, Tin Man, Aloof Big Brother, The Chessmaster, Evilutionary Biologist

INFJ: Hurting Hero, Hermit Guru, Zen Survivor, Living Emotional Crutch, Knight Templar

ISTP: Warrior Poet, Street Samurai, The Hunter, Because I’m Good At It, Then Let Me Be Evil

ISFP: All-Loving Hero, Hero’s Muse, Determined Defeatist, Granola Girl, Mad Artist

ESTJ: The Captain, The Ace, Nerves of Steel, Corrupt Corporate Executive, Egomaniac Hunter

ESFJ: Crusading Lawyer, The Social Expert, A Father to his Men, Nerd Nanny, Evil Matriarch

ENTP: Bunny-Ears Lawyer, Trickster Mentor, Knowledge Broker, Cool Loser, It Amused Me

ENFP: The Pollyanna, Manic Pixie Dream Girl, Allergic to Routine, The Wonka, Revenge Before Reason

Mars; Agitation, Aggression, Anger
  • Mars in Aries: Agitation/Aggression/Anger triggered by control, restriction, judgement, injustice, lack of following own will, lack of sex, inadequate mental and physical stimulation
  • Mars in Taurus: Agitation/Aggression/Anger triggered by lack of adequate rest/sleep, financial and employment pressures, over strenuous obligations, lack of creative expression
  • Mars in Gemini: Agitation/Aggression/Anger triggered by lack of mental stimulation, boredom, lack of change, restriction, controlling relationships, frustration due to inadequate sleep or rest
  • Mars in Cancer: Agitation/Aggression/Anger triggered by unstable family dynamics, moods of severity that have a long recovery period, lack of stability when looking into the future, internal anxieties
  • Mars in Leo: Agitation/Aggression/Anger triggered by self contempt, lack of rewarding relationships, invalidating relationships, inadequate creative expression, lack of sex, heartbreak
  • Mars in Virgo: Agitation/Aggression/Anger triggered by self consciousness and ricocheting defeatist thoughts, mental overload, disharmonious surroundings, lack of focus, lack of routine or employment/stability, lack of sex
  • Mars in Libra: Agitation/Aggression/Anger triggered by inability to assert one's own needs so there is the development of irritation at others because others are seen to be selfish, injustice, unexpressed emotion
  • Mars in Scorpio: Agitation/Aggression/Anger triggered by unconscious events, traumas and memories, feeling misunderstood or judged by people they trust, lack of alone time, restraining relationships, lack of meaningful sex, betrayal
  • Mars in Sagittarius: Agitation/Aggression/Anger triggered by occlusion to freedom, being surveilled or scrutinised, dishonesty, lack of physical movement and fresh air, inadequate mental stimulation and boredom, control
  • Mars in Capricorn: Agitation/Aggression/Anger triggered by unexpressed emotions and needs, feelings of inadequacy or that they have nothing to show for their work, lack of appreciation, the feeling of being stuck in a rut
  • Mars in Aquarius: Agitation/Aggression/Anger triggered by imposed restrictions and lack of freedom, inadequate mental stimulation, generous feelings that are difficult to process suitably, controlling relationships
  • Mars in Pisces: Agitation/Aggression/Anger triggered by feelings of being taken advantage of, passive and unexpressed feelings of frustration toward others, lack of sleep, over socialisation, constantly repairing others who won't help themselves
  • -C.
The Red Sponge: Spongebob’s Role in Enforcing an Oppressive, Capitalistic Society

Every millennial who grew up watching “Spongebob Squarepants” has come to the same horrifying conclusion: you have turned into Squidward. No matter how buoyant, how cheerful, how optimistic you were as a child, there comes a point where you begin to identify with Squidward more than any other character in the show.

You could explain this phenomenon with the disillusionment and cynicism of growing up, or the burdens of being a teenager in a post-John Hughes society. There is, however, an even simpler answer. Spongebob is an allegory for Karl Marx’s The Communist Manifesto. The show revolves around Spongebob, the hardworking proletariat, accepting a low-level fry cook job and enduring Mr. Krabs’ exploitation with a grin on his face.

The face of compliance

It’s not hard to draw the parallels between Mr. Krabs and the bourgeoisie. He’s a cheapskate who underpays and overworks his employees for his own personal gain. Mr. Krabs famously ripped off his own arms (claws?) to retrieve a dime that fell down the drain. He took his workers on a boating trip to retrieve his millionth dollar from the jaws of a giant clam. He has zero regard for his employees’ safety and almost routinely puts them in danger for his own benefit.  Mr. Krabs’ daughter, Pearl is an extension of the bourgeoisie archetype. She’s vain, self-centered, and largely unaware of others’ misfortune. She lives in a bubble, obsessed with clothes, makeup, and celebrities — because she has the leisure for such frivolities.

Remember when Pearl gentrified The Krusty Krab

Speaking of living in a bubble, Sandy is not exempt from analysis. Sandy is quite literally shielded away from the rest of the world. She represents the intellectual elite, using her privilege and higher education to jeopardize working class jobs and further the industrial revolution. Her endeavors into space mirror the Cold War-era “Space Race,” capitalism versus communism. Her voyage ends on the moon, just like the U.S.’s did. On top of her scientific record, Sandy is independent and self-sufficient, exemplifying capitalistic ideals of individualism.

If Sandy is the intellectual elite, then Patrick Star is just the opposite. Patrick represents the bourgeois caricature of the working class that capitalists want you to buy into. He is ignorant, undereducated, and lazy. He lives under a rock, likely because he can’t afford anything else — although he doesn’t seem to mind. Patrick appears to deserve his poverty because he does nothing but sleep, yet he also seems at peace with his lot. This idea of the happy, unproductive bum simultaneously vilifies and justifies the proletariat. “See, they’re poor because they just don’t work hard enough! In fact, they like being poor!” Patrick Star is arguably one of the most offensive cartoon depictions of this generation.

Blatant vilification of blue-collar workers

Spongebob, on the other hand, represents the ideal proletariat. Spongebob is hardworking, humble, and endlessly optimistic. He’s a lot like us before we realized the inherent evils of a capitalistic society. Day in and day out, Spongebob gleefully works a minimum-wage job flipping burgers with no hope of promotion. He’s a cog in Mr. Krabs’ greasy machine, but he doesn’t even realize it. He just continues to skip to work every day, chanting “I’m ready!”. Ready for what, Spongebob? Ready for the bourgeoisie Kool-aid he’s been absorbing through his poriferous sponge body.

Spongebob is the ideal worker, and as children, we aspired to be just like him. The very first episode of Spongebob showed him getting his first job as fry cook. According to the show, the very best achievement you could receive is being gainfully employed. Not only employed, but tirelessly productive and efficient to maximize your manager’s profits. Spongebob famously served busloads of anchovies at a never-before-seen pace. It wasn’t enough that Spongebob could perform his job well; he had to go above and beyond his duty in order to seem valuable. These are the principles we instilled in the youth of today. What went wrong?

Back, finally, to Squidward. Squidward isn’t like Spongebob or Patrick. He isn’t satisfied in his low-level employment. What Squidward seeks is artistic satisfaction and world renown. He covets the success of his employer without achieving the work ethic necessary for someone of his class to ascend. Squidward has realized that the cards have been stacked against him at every turn, and resigns himself bitterly to the clutches of capitalism. If Squidward were less jaded, he could be the catalyst to prompt full-scale class warfare, perhaps ending in a communist utopia. Unfortunately, Squidward’s defeatist personality and egoism prevents him from implementing social change.

Mfw I realized I will never dismantle oppressive power structures that infiltrate our economic landscape

That is why we are all Squidward. We’ve uncovered the limits of capitalism and realized that hard work may not always pay off. We’ve begun to notice the oppressive economic and social structure that infiltrates our everyday life. We yearn for something higher, but feel that change is out of our reach. We become bitter, combative, self-deprecative, and cynical. There’s a reason Squidward is the unhappiest character on “Spongebob.” Not only for faults of his own, but for his own rotten luck. The show subliminally punishes Squidward for his views, hoping to prod viewers back towards Spongebob’s blithe, unfounded optimism.

Their efforts were to no avail. Millions of millennials are finding themselves disillusioned, realizing all along that Squidward was the reasonable one. He had a right to protest Mr. Krabs’ vile working conditions, and his sarcasm was merely a coping mechanism for the injustices placed against him. Squidward is the dissatisfied proletariat, and we identify with him more than ever. The difference is, we have the energy and collective power to succeed where he could not. Together, we can rise up and defeat the bourgeoisie, establishing an egalitarian society that does not prey on the lower classes. In the words of Spongebob, “I’m ready.” Are you?

Sure, when Nephi calls himself a wretched man and groans at his shortcomings it’s “inspirational” and “a psalm”, but when I do it it’s “attention-seeking” and “defeatist”.

I’ve found that when I struggle to acheive any goal, it’s usually because my expectations and my reality do not match. I either under or overestimate how things will go and my own abilities which leads to needless frustration. So I created this spread to help with that!

1. Your dream: While most of us probably already have a goal in mind, this card can either help illuminate aspects of your goal you might be overlooking OR it might present you with a dream from deep within that your soul longs to realize :)

2. Your expectations: We can often subconsciously expect things about our dreams. This card can identify if you are self-sabotaging by being defeatist, or overconfident, etc. 

3. Your reality: Do you need to work harder to achieve this dream than you originally expected? Rely on others? Trust your abilities? Let this card help you bridge the gap between your expectations and the truth. 

4, 5, and 6. Action: Three cards laid on top of one another as a three step action plan to help acheive your dream. The first card is horizontal, the second at an angle and the third upright (symbolizing laying down to standing tall and achieving your goal) Let these cards guide you along your journey and help you foresee how to deal with any hiccups along the way!

Free to use <3 I hope this spread helps ya’ll as much as it’s helped me!


"There's nothing you can do"

It took them a week to notice Virgil was gone. Too long.
The symptoms were subtle at first: a few reckless decisions here, some regrettable behaviour there. Only after Thomas had crossed the street without looking and it had taken Logan hours to calm Patton down from the shock, was it that one of them pointed it out.
They figured Virgil had just gone on strike again and so didn’t worry much about it. They agreed they’d check up on him together and so they did, Roman reluctantly agreeing.

You know nothing of goodness and purity.
It’s your fault.

The first thing they noticed was the writing on the walls. It seemed to move in an unknown pattern, words appearing and disappearing.

Patton cast a worried glance at the others, who were clearly as shocked as he was.

The second thing they noticed was the emptiness of the room. Thomas was currently in his bedroom and thus Virgil’s room should have all the basic furniture as well but it was barren.

Then, they noticed the small, curled up figure on the floor in the corner. The letters on the wall seemed to become longer the closer they were to it, stretching and grasping at it, enveloping it in darkness.


Patton was the first to snap out of his trance. In a moment of sudden realisation he dashed forward, bringing movement into the other sides as well. Logan quickly followed while Roman stayed close behind, motioning Thomas to stay where he was.

I don’t like him.

Virgil looked pitiful. He was curled up on his side, tears streaming from his eyes. He was whimpering, choked sobs escaping his lips. His nails were scratching at the floor and his body shook with both sorrow and unimaginable agony. The shadows that were forming the words on the walls were holding him captive and the more he struggled, the tighter they got.

Is he necessary?
He’s the antagonist.

Patton sunk to his knees. “V-Virgil? Are you-why are-” The side was unable to form a coherent sentence. He was shaking, eyes wide, barely noticing Logan’s hand on his shoulder.
Roman, who had joined them by Virgil’s side, was white as a sheet. “What’s happening to him? Why is he-” He gestured at the writhing side.


Logan was ashen. “He…he’s fading. It happens if a side feels it is unwanted or thinks they do more wrong than good. It’s what happened to others like Prejudice or Hate. I…I didn’t think-”
His sentence was cut off by Virgil screaming.
It was a low scream, full of unending pain.
The words were moving more quickly now.
Patton, who was cradling Virgil in his arms, could feel him go entirely limp.
The darkness was now fully enveloping Virgil and Logan pulled Patton away from him.
Patton was sobbing and trying to escape Logan’s grasp but the logical side held onto him firmly. After a while Patton gave up and leaned onto Logan, burying his face in his chest.

Not one of us.

It took Logan a bit to notice Roman was still close to Virgil. Sighing, he helped Patton sit down and made his way over to the two sides. Roman was bent over Virgil, eyes wide, whispering “I’m sorry oh god I love you I’m so sorry” over and over. Gently, Logan placed a hand on Roman’s shoulder. “There’s nothing you can do, Roman. I’m sorry.”

Roman shook with quiet sobs.
Virgil began fading.
Roman and Logan watched in quiet horror as Virgil began disappearing, piece by piece.
Then, he was gone.