deeply profound

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If you ever asked me what my favorite song was, I would have always said Oingo Boingo - We Close Our Eyes. The reason why is not the music, the melody, not the vocals, or drums… none of the stuff I usually glob onto… no…

this is the only song where the lyrics caught me in a deeply profound way and as I sit here tonight, holding mystic to my side, gently stroking his side, kissing his kepi, annoying the fuck out of him with constant hugs… the lyrics came rushing at me like a runaway train…

I looked Death in the face last night
I saw him in a mirror
And he simply smiled
He told me not to worry
He told me just to take my time

We close our eyes and the world has turned around again
We close our eyes and dream and another year has come and gone

Mystic and I have run out of time… Death is here.. he’s waiting patiently, but he will not wait for long. It is beyond time to worry, there is no more time to take. 

For years and years, I never wasted a single moment to tell him I loved him, to hug him, to hold him. it never became routine, it never felt perfunctory, it never felt rote… it was always from the heart, it was always fresh, it always felt new. But night after night, we closed our eyes, him asleep on my chest, or curled up spooned in my arms… and another year came and went. 

And another… and another.. and before I knew it, he was turning 21 and I was old, bald, fat, and still so happy to get to hug and hold him. 

But there will not be another year, there will not be another hannukah, or birthday, or halloween where we dress up and he gets to chase little cat toy pumpkins around… those days are over… there are just hours now… 

Only hours. I closed my eyes… and the world turned again… and there was simply no way to stop it…

:(

ps I feel like a lot, a lot of fans have sehun’s personality very wrong and I am so confused by a lot of fanon posts about him lmao

like yeah, he’s a goofball and a bit silly with his friends but like

he’s such a quiet, polite kid. like. he’s v quiet, he’s courteous, he’s soft spoken and sometimes anxious and socially awkward

there’s a reason why he naturally wears that well-known resting b face. shy people have that expression. observant, but quiet people have that expression. people that spend a lot of time inside their own minds. you think about something, you daze out, you don’t pay close attention to how you appear to others, and before you know it, people are seeing your ‘cold’ expression and calling you rude

I think, contrary to playful jokes about his intelligence or whatever the fuck, he does give a lot of thought to things, he does consider things deeply, and these ‘surprisingly’ profound, meaningful things he says are not completely unexpected or startling to the people that actually know him

there’s a reason why his groupmates are always saying he’s the sweetest, he’s the most encouraging, he’s the most supportive guy on the team. because he’s a cinnamon roll that happens to be a little bit shy in front of the cameras, and it’s very rare that we see his entire personality

he gets restless, he gets anxious, he dodges cameras when he’s moody, he occasionally complains that he gets too much attention from people he doesn’t want it from, while at the same time  almost constantly seeking and appreciating attention from the people he treasures

these are characteristics of a shy person, these are characteristics of an introvert, these are characteristics of someone who’s incredibly affectionate but also a somewhat awkward kid that grew up to be beautiful and doesn’t really know how to present himself as the media icon he’s supposed to be

let him learn. let him live a little.

(and stop saying he’s stupid, immature, and whatever the fuck, damn. he doesn’t act as charming and suave as the others, but that doesn’t make him any less valuable or clever or talented or worthy of appreciation and respect.)

Capricorn Traits:
You are deeply profound and the things you say to people who aren’t very close to you only touch the very shallow parts of what you want to say. When you feel comfortable enough to say what you really wanna say, you can get really deep. Most people might find you a little too much if they see this side of you. You pick up on the authenticity of people.

SnK Ship Appreciation

Eren & Mikasa

Loving these two together has never come easier for me these days. Whether the relationship is appreciated platonically or romantically, the bond is there, and it is deeply profound. 

Their history together is one filled with tragedy, and finding the strength and the will to overcome harsh adversities. Often times it is within each other that these two are able to draw out their strengths. Eren helped to awaken Mikasa’s blood-given strength, and Mikasa helped to awaken Eren’s coordinate ability. 

The most notable trait of Eren and Mikasa’s relationship with each other is how they are always working to protect one another. While it is much more obvious with Mikasa’s resolve to make sure Eren stays out of harm’s way, it is clear that Eren feels the desire to keep Mikasa safe as well. They show such desires in different ways, but they have worked their hardest to protect each other time and time again. 

The growth in Eren and Mikasa’s relationship has also been very pleasant to see unfold. Eren used to get very upset with Mikasa for “babying” him and he used to be very jealous of her natural abilities. Now, he understands that they each have their own roles to play, and no longer envies Mikasa for her strength. Mikasa, over time, has let go of the overbearing behavior she exhibited over Eren. She has begun to trust him more to take care of himself, and she has begun to trust the people around her more to help protect him. A relationship that used to be filled with conflict and miscommunication has grown to one of understanding and patience. Both characters have matured, and their relationship with one another has as well. 

Eren and Mikasa share some of the most powerful and touching moments of the entire series. Eren wrapping his scarf around her when they are children, Mikasa finding the resolve to live on after believing Eren to be dead, and Eren declaring he will always be there for her after she thanks him for for everything he’s done (all before punching a titan bare-handed in a last-ditch effort to protect her)… Those continue to be a few of my absolute favorite scenes in the series, even still managing to draw a few tears from my eyes. 


SnK Ship Appreciation Post 1/???

4

This morning I woke up feeling heavy and cold, like the day after a break-up, and then I remembered why. 

Outside my window, birds were singing and I had a moment of utter disbelief. The world hasn’t ended, though in many ways the world as we know it has. I’m not American but this election affects the entire world in deeply profound ways that we will all feel. 

I feel stunned and angry and so depressed it took me a long time to work up the will to get out of bed. I feel isolated in a city that thinks these results are pretty funny and don’t realise that throughout the US, there are people afraid for their lives. They don’t realise that this man could bring about a nuclear war, and that no amount of distance will save any of us if he does. They don’t realise how much there is at stake. 

My favourite whatsapp chat group broke up about this today. One member openly admitted and defended having voted for Trump. Another didn’t come out and say so, but it was pretty clear. These are white, upper-middle class people who think they have nothing to fear. When are we going to grow up and come to understand that we are ALL IN THIS TOGETHER, that if one person or group of people suffers, it is a threat to the safety and freedom of every other person on the planet? When are we going to stop being so selfish and short-sighted? 

I despair for the world today. Western civilisation took a giant step backward. I am afraid. 

And yet, the birds are still singing. I’m crying as I type this. I’m afraid for so many of you. I’m afraid for all of us. This isn’t meant to be an essay on what we’re supposed to do or feel or think now. I have no pearls of wisdom to offer. Just my anger. Only love is greater than fear, but fear won yesterday. Fear of the other, fear of having to share an unfair level of advantage, fear of the loss of special status. Fear of women, particularly competent, experienced, powerful women. 

I love you all and I hope you’re okay. Which is to say that I hope you’re safe. I think we’re all a long way from being okay right now. 

@sarahclapp, @shana-movershaker, @yaycoffee, @dietrich76, @treetop821, @piplover, @distaffgospels, @kabsann, @one-thousand-leaves, @redpeacoat3, @starrla89, @totallysilvergirl