deep narcissism

Faith in life, in oneself, in others must be built on the hard rock of realism; that is to say, on the capacity to see evil where it is, to see swindle, destructiveness, and selfishness not only when they are obvious but in their many disguises and rationalisations. Indeed, faith, love, and hope must go together with such a passion for seeing reality in all its nakedness that the outsider would be prone to call the attitude ‘cynicism.’ And cynical it is, when we mean by it the refusal to be taken in by the sweet and plausible lies that cover almost everything that is said and believed. But this kind of cynicism is not cynicism; it is uncompromisingly critical, a refusal to play the game in a system of deception.

part two: i am an artist, please don’t revere me

pairing: shawn x ofc

word count: 1,358

warnings: language, implied and mentions of violence

title and inspiration from bo burnham’s ‘art is dead’

It had been months since Shawn had returned home and the couple had been going through the motions of daily life. They took Ollie to daycare, Charlotte went to work and they played happy families for anybody that watched on. Their friends and family believed everything was fine, normal. Yet, inside their modest and well-kept home, things weren’t so rosy. 

The initial yelling and fighting had subsided into a resigned silence. The arguments had become repetitive and pointless, neither of them budging on their views. The longer they were stuck in the cycle of pointless arguing, the more aggressive and heated the fights got. All too often, broken glass fragments littered their floor and fist-sized holes decorated their white walls. They realised they were getting nowhere with each other and just gave up on the fights. Neither of them wanted to frighten Ollie or shift his world around anymore that it had already had been, but both of them knew they couldn’t step on eggshells forever. There was a long overdue conclusion to this situation that was on its way, and they both knew it. 

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anonymous asked:

P.S. She seems awful, in the sense that she seems to be very conceited and with little reason except that which is brought by unexamined privilege. She’s been very lucky to have gotten as far as she has with as little talent as she has, but if she has any self-awareness, what fame she’s gotten must ring hollow even to her.

I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt in the beginning – was super excited to see her work after reading those “Meet Benedict Cumberbatch’s fiancée!” articles. And then, after seeing her ‘work’, I was super disappointed.

I never saw hate btwn them, but a grudging acceptance is a great way to put it! To me, they still act like they’re costars in a movie instead of a married couple. And I do see conceit and shallowness from her, mostly from her interviews and the article she ‘wrote’ for the Guardian.

She may be too deep into her narcissism to see how empty her fame is – Opening Night of Hamlet and she walks in front of Ben, smiling at the cameras as if they are there for her. Then getting on the cover of the DM, for showing up at the Press Night for Ben’s show. And then that ridiculous puff piece from her 'One Night Only Shopping Event’ Charity attendance.

But none of it is for her work. She did two projects this year and no one is talking about them anymore, while peeps still talk about Hamlet. Hardly anyone talked about them while she was promoting them. She’s just Benedict Cumberbatch’s wife, hardly anyone sees her as special – except the DM, and that says even more.

But she was able to float through life with the help of her parents and friends funding her 'hobbies’, got a couple of artist residencies with the help of her ex, and now her name is a hashtag bcuz of who she married. Sad that none of it is for her work or artistry. She never had fans before the engagement.

Oh yeah, plus she’s white, from a well-connected and well-off family, and really had her foot in the door bcuz of that small, type casted role in Vanity Fair. She just held on to what that role opened for her – being one level above a socialite at posh parties.

She wasn’t discriminated against for being a woman, cuz the theater community is pretty open like that. So the jobs she got (which were few and far btwn) had to have happened thru connections and not by her reputation. I don’t think she’s worked outside the Entertainment Industry before her fame – like Ben, working as a waiter and a counter clerk at a perfume shop.

Added note: I asked an Acting teacher, who mostly does theater – directors never bow. Only talent. Directors don’t bow, not in fringe theater and not even in the UK.

I mention it as we are discussing why we think SH is conceited…she didn’t bow at the end of Phaedra, but she did for TotS, twice. And going from the pics, she barely did anything – but still thought she deserved to bow. Her smile when seeing all those ppl clap, more prouder than when she stands next to Ben. And I have a bad feeling she thought she was the one who deserved the applause and praise, when it was the Orchestra that ppl gushed about.

You know your tits deep in your own narcissism when you want to make your fiancé a new playmat for regionals only because people will see it and ask him who drew it.