You may be aware that, in the Victorian era, there was a whole secret language of flower-arranging. You could send a specific message - sentiments like “I will forever be true” or “I feel betrayed” - to your loved one by ordering the right kind of bouquet. (There are a variety of lists online of coded flower meanings, but the most comprehensive one I’ve seen is here.)
As a communications protocol, it’s somewhat impractical - depending on which source you consult, some flowers can have different meanings, and there are several plants listed that are not flowers, or that would be very unlikely to be stocked by your local florist. Still, though, the concept is intriguing enough, and it occurred to me that we may be able to do something similar with another customizable, deliverable gift… pizza.
So this is my proposal for the secret language of pizza toppings. Wherever possible, I tried to bring over the same meanings of edible plants in the flower language. Obviously, this whole concept is just for fun - by all means, when ordering or making pizza for someone, their taste preferences and dietary needs should take priority!
alfredo/white sauce - purity, innocence
almond - hope
anchovies - confidence, self-assuredness
apple - temptation
artichoke - complexity
arugula - timidity, fear
asparagus - grief, sadness, mourning
avocado - ego, narcissism
bacon (Canadian) - don’t worry, eh.
bacon (crumble) - let’s be naughty
bacon (strips) - let’s indulge
bacon (turkey) - let’s indulge, in a sensible way
basil leaves - good wishes
BBQ sauce - toughness, badassery
beetroot - indelible mark, your touch has changed me
brie - Your well-being is important to me
broccoli - I will be there for you
cabbage - money, financial stability
calamari - entanglements
capers - schadenfreude, gossip, let us take pleasure in another’s misfortune
capicollo - security
cauliflower - I will be responsible
caviar - my life is full, I have many things.
celery - obligation
cheddar/cheese sauce - Your pleasure is important to me
chicken - uncertainty, life is uncertain
chorizo - you are strong and will see it through
cilantro - I can appreciate what others do not.
clams - erotic love
corn - let’s share!
crust (deep dish) - my feelings are sincere and meaningful
crust (flatbread, thin) - let’s not take anything too seriously
crust (gluten-free) - I will take care of you
crust (regular white) - enjoy yourself
crust (whole wheat) - be nourished
dairy-free cheese substitute - I care about your needs
donair meat - artifice, insincerity
duck - imminent danger!
egg - fertility, pregnancy, babies
eggplant - optimism for the future
feta/goat cheese - I respect your beliefs/traditions
fig - argument, debate
garlic - wit, humour
gold leaf - I will give you money.
ground beef - stability, a stable foundation
ham - do not worry
kielbasa - all is well
kale - physical health
leeks - I have been hurt.
lobster - luxury, extravagance
mayonnaise - ingenuity, rejection of conformity, let’s try something new
meatballs - mobility, keep moving
mozzarella - you are important to me
mushrooms (enoki) - I see what others do not.
mushrooms (portobello or similar) - big secrets, hidden knowledge
mushrooms (truffle) - I have the key.
mushrooms (white) - I want to speak to you, I have something to say.
olives (black) - peace, we do not need to fight.
olives (green) - peace, tranquility, untroubled by the world
olives (kalamata) - peace, invincibility, we have defeated all challenges
onions (green) - growth, improvement
onions (red) - things will get better
onions (white) - healing, restoration
parmesan - completeness, let’s get this done
parsely - feast, festivity
peaches - perfect beauty, you are flawless
pears - affection, tenderness
peas - kinship, we are alike
peppercorns/black pepper - permanence, eternal love
peppers (banana) - I want to spend more time with you
peppers (green) - let’s have fun
peppers (jalapeño) - let’s get together
peppers (red, roasted) - pleasure
peppers (yellow/orange) - joy
pepperoni (NY style) - you will succeed
pepperoni (traditional) - I wish you well
pesto - rarity, scarcity
pine nuts - pity
pineapple - perfection, you’re perfect just the way you are
potato - benevolence
prosciutto - safety
provolone - you are an important person in my life
ricotta - your opinion is important to me
roast beef - dignity, pride
salami - you did it!
sausage - strength, endurance
scallions - I want more.
seaweed/nori - exotic, foreign, I am in a new world
shrimp - small pleasures
smoked salmon - I have experience.
Spam - freedom
spinach - happiness
steak - pride in accomplishments
sweet potato - charity, generosity
swiss chard - reticence, I am unsure
tofu - I don’t know how to interact with you
tuna - I know what I’m doing.
turkey - foolishness, stupidity
tomatoes (fresh) - the beauty of youth
tomatoes (sundried) - beauty in maturity
tomato/marinara sauce - I see you, I recognize you
If you love pizza, if you are one of those people who can eat pizza all-day every-day, and if you believe that pizza is the best food ever invented, then this is for you!
I make pizza every week for my family, but today I wanted to take my pizza to the next level. Pizza is so easy to experiment with. The list of toppings is endless, an array of cheeses and sauces. Then there is the thickness of the crust…
When I pulled this pizza out of the oven even I was amazed!
4 ½ cups organic non-bleached all-purpose flour
2 cups warm water
4 ½ teaspoons yeast
1 teaspoon sea salt
2 cups Daiya mozzerala cheese
1 ½ cups for the crust and ½ cup for the topping
½ cup chili sauce (Organicville)
In the bowl of your stand mixer, add yeast and warm water; let sit 5 minutes.
Add 2 cups flour and salt and mix on medium speed for 1 minutes. Add remaining 2 ½ cups flour. Continue mixing for 3 minutes. The dough should come clean from the bowl while mixing; you can add more flour if needed 2 tablespoon at a time.
Cover the bowl with a clean kitchen towel and let rise 1 hour.
Lighlty butter a cast iron skillet. Remove the dough from the bowl and place in skillet.
Using your hands spread out the dough while also pushing the dough up the sides.
Place the cheese around the edges. Fold over the edges while at the same time pulling the dough back up the sides.
Spread out the sauce; add cheese and your toppings.
Airheads taffy Blow Pops Brach’s Cinnamon Hard Candy Brach’s Root Beer Barrels Brach’s Star Brites Chocolove Dark Chocolate bar Chocolove Cherries and Almonds Dark Chocolate Bar Chocolove Crystallized Ginger Dark Chocolate Bar Chocolove Orange Peel Dark Chocolate Bar Chocolove Raspberry Dark Chocolate bar Chick-o-Sticks Cry Babies Dots Dum-Dums Fruit By the Foot Hubba Bubba bubblegum Jolly Ranchers (lollipops and hard candy) Jujubees Jujyfruits Laffy Taffy Lemonheads Mambas Mary Janes (regular and peanut butter kisses) Panda Licorice Smarties (U.S. Brand) Sour Patch Kids Super Bubble Swedish Fish Sweet Tarts Zotz
Bremner Wafers Cracker Jacks Famous Amos Sandwich Cookies (Peanut Butter) Ferrara Wafer Swirls With Chocolate Fritos Grandma’s Peanut Butter Sandwich Cremes Hain Apple Cinnamon Rice Cakes Herr’s Salsa and Lime Tortilla Chips Keebler Animal Crackers Keebler Club Crackers Keebler Vienna Fingers Kettle White Popcorn Kool-Aid Gels Krispy Kreme Fruit Pies Lance Capitain’s Wafers Lance Choc-O Cookies Lance Peanut Bar Lance Sugar Wafers (Strawberry Creme) Lance Sugar Wafers (Vanilla Creme) Lay’s Blue Corn Chips Lay’s Potato Chips (Natural Country Barbecue) Lay’s Potato Chips (Thick Cut Sea Salt) Lay’s Stax Lay’s WOW! Potato Chips Lay’s Yellow Corn Chips Lundberg Brown Rice Cakes Manischewitz Whole Wheat Matzo, Unsalted Matzo, and Savory Garlic Matzo Melba Toast (Rye) Melba Toast (Sesame) Melba Toast (Wheat) Microwave popcorn (minus the real butter flavor) Mission Foods Pre-Cut Unfried Tortilla Chips and Strips Mission Foods Pre-Fried Tortilla Chips and Strips Munchos Murray Southern Kitchen Iced Oatmeal Cookies Nabisco Ginger Snaps Nabisco Original Graham Crackers Nabisco Spiced Cinnamon Cookies Nabisco Teddy Grahams (Chocolate and Cinnamon) New York Flatbreads (Everything and Garlic) Nutter Butter Bites Peanuts, sunflower seeds, almonds, cashews, and Pistachios Pretzels Quaker Apple Cinnamon Rice Cakes Ritz Regular Crackers Ritz Roasted Vegetable Crackers Salsa Snyder’s Pretzel Chips (Garden Veggie) Snyder’s Pretzel Sticks (Pumpernickel/Onion) Soy Crisps (Barbecue, Deep Sea Salt, Garlic Onion, Salt and Vinegar, and Apple Cinnamon Crunch flavor) Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos Stacy’s Pita Chips (Baked, Cinnamon Sugar, Pesto and Sundried Tomato, Taxarkana Hot, and Tuscan Herb) Sun Chips Original flavor SunSpire Organic Dark Chocolate Almonds Toasteds Crackers (Sesame and Wheat) Tostitos Bite Size Rounds Tortilla Chips Tostitos Blue Corn Restaurant Style Tortilla Chips Tostitos Crispy Rounds Tortilla Chips Tostitos Dipping Strips! Tortilla Chips Tostitos Restaurant Style Tortilla Chips Tostitos Scoops Tortilla Chips Baked Tostitos Scoops Tortilla Chips Tostitos Multigrain Tortilla Chips Tostitos Natural Blue Corn Restaurant Style Tortilla Chips Tostitos Natural Yellow Corn Restaurant Style Tortilla Chips Town House Original Crackers Trail mix Triscuits Wasa Crispbread (Multi-Grain) Wheat Thins (Original, Multi-Grain, Reduced Fat, and Sundried Tomato and Basil) Zesta Original Crackers
Arnold Premium Seasoned Stuffing Betty Crocker Bac-o’s Bacon Flavor Bits Brianna’s French Dressing Brianna’s Poppy Seed Dressing Brianna’s Santa Fe Blend Dressing Campbell’s Franco-American Mushroom Gravy Classico Pasta Sauces (Roasted Garlic) Classico Pasta Sauces (Spicy Red Pepper) Dona Maria Mole El Paso Enchilada Sauce Girard’s Champagne Dressing Girard’s Italian Dressing Girard’s Original French Dressing Girard’s Raspberry Dressing Hunt’s Manwich Sauce Kame Marinades (Red Chili) Kame Marinades (Sweet Teriyaki) Kame Marinades (Thai Coconut) Kame Marinades (Wasabi With Ginger) Kellogg’s Corn Flakes Crumbs Knorr Red Bell Pepper Pesto Sauce Mix Kraft Balsamic Dressing Kraft Catalina Dressing Kraft Classic Italian Vinaigrette Dressing Kraft Creamy Italian Dressing Kraft Fat-Free Italian Dressing Kraft French Dressing Kraft French Fries Seasoning Lipton Recipe Soup and Dip Mix (Onion) Lipton Recipe Soup and Dip Mix (Onion Mushroom) Lipton Recipe Soup and Dip Mix (Vegetable) McCormick Bac’n Pieces McCormick Spaghetti Sauce Mix Newman’s Light Balsamic Dressing Newman’s Light Italian Dressing Newman’s Light Raspberry and Walnut Dressing Newman’s Olive Oil and Vinegar Dressing Newman’s Red Wine Vinaigrette and Olive Oil Dressing Newman’s Regular Balsamic Dressing Old El Paso Taco Seasoning Mix Peanut Butter & Co. White Chocolate Wonderful Pepperidge Farms Cubed Herb Seasoned Stuffing Prego Mushroom Pasta Sauce Ragu Pizza Sauce
Arnold’s Carb-Counting Multi-Grain Bread Arnold’s Jewish Rye Bread Arnold’s Potato Sandwich Rolls Arnold’s Sesame Sandwich Rolls Arnold’s Stone Ground Whole Wheat Bread Arnold’s Wheat Sandwich Rolls Cobblestone Mill Hoagie Rolls Cobblestone Mill Jewish Rye Bread Cobblestone Mill Kaiser Rolls Cobblestone Mill Onion Rolls Cobblestone Mill Party Rolls Cobblestone Mill Pumpernickel Bread Cobblestone Mill White Sub Rolls Cobblestone Mill Whole Wheat Bread Dutch Country Soft Potato Dutch Country Whole Wheat Krispy Kreme Fruit Pies (Apple) Krispy Kreme Fruit Pies (Cherry) Krispy Kreme Fruit Pies (Peach) Kroger Bread Little Debbie Cake Donuts Pepperidge Farm Dark Pumpernickel Bread Pepperidge Farm Rye and Pumpernickel Swirl Bread Thomas New York Style Bagels (Blueberry) Thomas New York Style Bagels (Cinnamon Swirl) Thomas New York Style Bagels (Everything) Thomas New York Style Bagels (Plain) Thomas Toaster Bagels (Cinnamon Raisin) Thomas Toaster Bagels (Plain)
Refrigerated and Frozen Foods
Anne’s Flat Dumplings Athens Phyllo Dough Athens Phyllo Mini Shells Calaro Guacamole Edy’s No-Sugar Bars Edy’s Whole Fruit Bars Fleischmann’s Light Margarine Food Lion French Fries Food Lion Hash Browns Food Lion Restaurant Fries Food Lion Seasoned Curly Fries Food Lion Shoe String Fries Food Lion Steak Fries General Mills Italian-Style Vegetables General Mills Roasted Potatoes With Garlic and Herbs Luigi’s Italian Ice Minute Maid Frozen Lemonade Bars Mrs. Smith’s Deep Dish Pie Crust Pepperidge Farm Puff Pastry Sheets Pepperidge Farm Puff Pastry Shells Pillsbury Cornbread Twists Pillsbury Turnover (Apple) Pillsbury Turnover (Cherry) Piñata Flour Tortillas Safeway Whipped Cream (Canned) Simply Potatoes Diced Potato With Onion Simply Potatoes New Potato Wedges Simply Potatoes Shredded Hash Browns Smart Squeeze Fat-Free Margarine Smuckers Uncrustables Peanut Butter and Grape Jelly Smuckers Uncrustables Peanut Butter and Strawberry Jam SuperPretzel Baked Soft Pretzels
1 (9-inch) deep-dish pie crust in tin 12 slices bacon 1 cup shredded Swiss cheese 4 eggs, beaten 1 ½ cups half-and-half ½ teaspoon salt ¼ teaspoon white sugar 1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C). Place bacon in a large skillet, and fry over medium-high heat until crisp. Drain on paper towels, then chop coarsely. Sprinkle bacon and cheese into pastry shell. In a medium bowl, whisk together eggs, cream, salt, sugar and cayenne pepper. Pour mixture into pastry shell. Bake 15 minutes in the preheated oven. Reduce heat to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C), and bake an additional 30 minutes, or until a knife inserted 1 inch from edge comes out clean. Allow quiche to sit 10 minutes before cutting into wedges.
Bodies are kind of like pizza. There’s big slices. Small slices. Slices with toppings. Plain cheese.Thin crust. Deep dish. Stuffed crust. Slices with the perfect ratio of cheese to sauce. Slices that the cheese falls off and you gotta pick it up and put it back on. Those lil burnt cheese bubbles.
I bet I’ve made more than three hundred pizzas over the
years. I’ve given that number some thought and just asked my husband for his
opinion – he thinks that sounds high. So okay, maybe two hundred pizzas. Thick crust, medium-thin
crust, cracker-thin crust, deep dish, Chicago-style deep dish, you name it. I’ve
used white sauce, pesto, and homemade pizza sauce. Toppings have included fresh
veggies from the garden, sausage, pepperoni, olives, artichokes, chicken, etc.,
and a whole variety of cheeses. You get the idea – we eat a lot of homemade pizza around
here, but surprisingly, I hadn’t ever made a calzone.
ago I picked up some fresh, whole wheat pizza dough from my grocery store’s
deli and couldn’t make up my mind what to do with it. The dough stayed in the
refrigerator for two days before I decided that the time had come to wrap that
dough around some fillings.
Supposedly, depending on what you read, a traditional
calzone does not include sauce.
Interesting. After more reading, I came up with a plan. I got the cold dough out of the refrigerator to let it come to room temperature and then headed back to the
store. I then divided it into two pieces and assembled my fillings. I
decided to add spinach to the whole milk ricotta, even though I didn’t find a
single recipe that included spinach.
The pictures tell the story. I baked these two, gorgeous
calzones in a 425 degree F oven for about 20 minutes. After they had cooled for
ten minutes, I cut them and we dipped the pieces in homemade marinara sauce. I
have more prosciutto, mozzarella, and ricotta cheese in the refrigerator –
plenty enough to make more calzone over the next few days. They were so good, no
one will object.
Don’t Assume I Hate My Plus Size Body, please and thank you.
Something happened last weekend that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about.
I’m thick and curvy with a big butt and a Rack. Capital R, Rack.
I went bridesmaid dress shopping last Saturday. My fellow wedding party peeps are thinner than me, between size 2-6. I had been secretly dreading the shopping date because I knew I would have to try on sample dress sizes that couldn’t move past my posterior. When you’re surrounded by people who seem to (or you assume would) move through life (or rather, shopping) with such ease and effortlessness, it’s disheartening.
So, in advance, I accepted this fact; that most likely nothing would fit me and kept repeating a mantra inside my head: ‘It’s just a sample size, you look great in jeans…’
Standing the closet size change room, I zip up the back and get stuck halfway. It’s not a keyhole cut out in the back, it’s my flabby rolls that prevent it from going any further.
We all choose dress styles, I’m pleased with my choice though I wonder if the exclaims of ‘you look good’ are more to make me feel included than they are truth.
Now it’s time to get our measurements taken so we can find the right size. I’m last in line. I’m wearing a loose, thick knit sweater so the woman with bad skin who is fitting me asks if I don’t mind stepping back inside the closet fitting room to take off my sweater for a better fitting. I don’t mind. She pulls the door, leaving it ajar.
I wonder what sales lady thinks of my ample bosom and round Winnie the Pooh belly.
She wraps the tape measure around my chest and calls out a number to the sales lady taking down the measurements with a clipboard.
She faces me and,’oh!’.
She has the expression of someone who just knocked over the salt at the dinner table. A faux pas that incites a knee jerk, ‘oops!’ reaction.
‘Sorry.’, she says.
Sorry. She said sorry. She said sorry because she yelled out my measurement at the same volume that she did when fitting a size two. She said sorry because I, being large, or rather extra large, would feel embarrassed by my friends knowing what size I am. She said sorry because fat = ashamed.
‘That’s okay.’ I say back truthfully, ‘I don’t care.’
She takes the next measurements, quietly passing on my hip size like a secret.
As we leave, I start stewing with resentment.
The confusing anger that this incident brought on sits with me over the next week or two, like the time I ate five slices of deep dish, thick crust pizza in a row.
Fuck you, fitting lady. Do not assume I feel bad about how I look. I don’t and I don’t think I should. Do not assume my friends would feel bad for me. Because they don’t.
I don’t feel bad about my size. And I don’t need to be made to feel bad. If I don’t feel bad about how I look, then why would my friends?
If you, fitting lady, feel bad about how I look, then feel free to think it but keep it to yourself.