decided to put it up on here

Emergency Commissions!

So for the past year now we’ve been behind on our rent by several thousands of dollars, but recently we’ve been catching up with it all- we’re now only behind by $2200. But thanks to some strange reason our landlord decided to threaten us with eviction because of a 4 day quiet period. Now we need to come up with $1000 by this Friday so we can avoid this. I’ve already put in a loan request with my bank to pay off the dept, but that will take a few days- and I already plan to pay $400 from my paycheck- but that wont quite be enough. 

I’m posting this in hopes to get some help! Following this link here will lead you to my commission page! Any kind of help would be great- even if it’s just passing this post around to others! Thank you in advance.

this format is dead but here are some more playlists:

at 11:17pm on july 25th, 2017, lorde tweeted “you’re the only motherfucker in this city who can handle me” from the st. vincent song ‘new york’. here’s a playlist about that 

every time I hear a song and think “wow it’s almost as if they wrote this to be in brokeback mountain”, I put it in this playlist. it’s sad sexual ambiguity with a lot of guitar

this playlist is about how hard it is to grow up. (people who genuinely enjoy their birthdays don’t interact)

here are a bunch of songs that will make your friends ask you if you’re gay when you put them on the aux

you’re driving through somewhere nondescript in the midwest and the only radio station that comes in is playing melancholy oldies

you’re sad but you’re only trying to make it worse enough that you’re really mopey, not full blown suicidal

if being in love doesn’t feel like these songs then I don’t want it

should any of y’all decide to backpack cross country with your lesbian lover, i’ve made y’all a playlist 

Dick Grayson is a Goddamn Dork™ ACTUAL CANONS

1. The discowing suit. I mean, really?

2. Canonically was responsible for naming the batarangs, the Batmobile, and probably every other bat- thing in the cave.

3. Continued to defend those choices, even as Batman. “That’s a stupid name.” “You mean *awesome*.”

4. Little kid tries to punch him (as a cop!) and he responded by saying, “you’re throwing a punch wrong. Here, hit me again, like this”

5. Built an entire secret room in his apartment for vigilante purposes, still leaves his Nightwing suit in a heap on the ground next to his bed where Goddamn anyone can see it

6. Puts his fingers up by his head so that thugs who see his shadow will think he’s Batman

7. When deciding what to call his new a batarang equipment, unironically decided to call them “wing-dings”

8. Is honestly flattered when supervillains compliment his butt

9. “That would make them nunjas.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME GRAYSON THEY’RE POINTING GUNS AT YOU IS NOW *REALLY* THE BEST TIME TO PUN

10. Does not bother to park the Batwing or even bring it low, flings himself out of it from 1,000 feet up because *aesthetic*

2

“What do you think that cloud looks like? It kind of looks like a tomato to me.”

“I think it looks like a shoe.”

“….Okay, what about that one?”

“…Another shoe.”

“Are you looking at the same cloud?”

“No, they all just kind of look like shoes to me.”

feelbending  asked:

Thomas I hope you're okay with all the current drama, I personally believe that you did nothing wrong at all. You're always making sure you're inclusive and doing the right thing, sorry your fandom's exploded :(

Hey!! Yeah, I’m doing fine!! Please don’t worry, these sorts of things happen sometimes and it gets very hard to address and handle all at once! I have made mistakes though, so please don’t feel like you have to defend all that I do, that’s not your responsibility, and I’ve been doing what I can to make sure things were addressed!

There was a piece of art of myself that was posted a while back that I put under a Read More and tagged nsfw because it was, and it was revealed later, after the artists’ bio was updated, that they were not of appropriate age, and that was a complete mistake on my part to make sure! I’ve always made a point to clarify, if people asked me, that if they were to do any nsfw art of me and submit it, that they should be of appropriate age to be doing so. My tumblr started as a personal blog and I thought tagging things appropriately would be enough, but this occurrence absolutely made me rethink how my blog was laid out and how much more consideration I needed to be putting into my blog and who was viewing it, so I made a public apology for it yesterday (in the #TSask) and decided to restructure my blog in order to make sure this never happens again. Posts I deemed too questionable, I have removed and if they ever go up again, they would be going up on a sideblog of some kind. I absolutely appreciate those who brought this up to me. I should have been the one to catch it, and I need to be far more vigilant about what I post from here on out!

There was also the post I responded to about why I felt it right to include asexuals and aromantics of any combination in the community. I’ve been having many really awesome and respectful conversations with people on both sides of this argument and its been really good, for me and I think for a lot of them, to gain understanding on where we’re both coming from. I am so grateful to those who came to me and got to discuss with me incredibly important things to remember and respect: the early struggles of the trans and gay community, the Stonewall Riots, the travesties and systemic oppression that still happen around the world today that need to be fought. We also got to discuss issues like arranged marriages that affect people on all areas of the spectrum. We talked about different demographics of the community and where they would like to stand or not stand. And the importance of limited resources made available to people of the community were discussed with me as well. I’ve been so absolutely grateful to those of you who came to me and are still coming to me to talk through these things, because I don’t claim to know everything, and many of the discussions were ended wonderfully respectfully. In the end, obviously, I have no, or maybe just really little, say in what defines the community. In what I say, I am absolutely making no attempt to prioritize people over another, because there are some extreme things that need to be fought. I can only be in control of myself and who I deem to be valid and who I would like to offer my support. I truly am trying to put myself in everyone’s shoes and see where they’re coming from. And I am so grateful so many of you came to me so respectfully to talk! That’s amazing! That, I think, is the most optimal form of discussion for people on both sides. I don’t like seeing anyone on either side attacking each other, and it’s so devastating to see so much of it. 

I truly hope this helps bring clarity for those of you who were confused or looking for an update! The internet can be a confusing place and the truth can be mangled, but I am doing everything I can to make sure I amend for any bad decisions and hear you all out as best as I can. I’m only human, and I truly do care about you and where you’re all coming from, so I hope you can all bear with me! 

anonymous asked:

Do you have like a checklist or something of things that need to be done before you can move out? I have over a year to get ready, but I'm not certain what "ready" means exactly. What needs to happen before a person can live on their own (in the USA)? Thanks for answering, love your blog!

I’m realizing now that I have lots of posts that detail different parts of this moving into a new apartment process, but none that discuss everything. So this post is essentially a conglomerate of four different posts: Adulting 108Moving (On Your Own), Living On Your Own, and Apartment Hunting 101.

But here they are, in step by step order! Enjoy!

Finding an Apartment (Apartment Hunting 101)

Overview: There’s no getting around it, apartment hunting is a stressful process. The waiting and wondering gets the best of everyone, so give yourself a break and remember not to be too hard on yourself. The more prepared and decisive you are, the better off you’ll be!

1. Step One: The most important step in this entire process is coming up with your list of “Need and Won’t”. This list can always be adjusted in the spur of the moment, but will act as a baseline to help you easily disregard impractical apartments. Before you even start your search, sit down with any roommates (SO or otherwise) and come up with a list. Here is my list:

  • Need: Dishwasher, pet friendly, heat included.
  • Won’t: First floor apartment, all or mostly carpeted apartment, no closet space.

2. Step Two: Decide your price range. The paycheck to paycheck life is not a great one to live, so try to find an apartment that still allows you to put anywhere from $100-$500 into savings every month. Figure out how much you make monthly, with taxes taken out. If you’re paid every other week, this is two paychecks. If you’re paid every week, this is four paychecks. Start with your total monthly income, and subtract the following expenses. Let’s say you make $1,000 with taxes taken out:

  • Rent - Let’s say you’re living with a roommate, and your rent is only $500 per month.
  • Electric - My electric expense is $60 a month for a one bedroom. Once again, you’re living with a roommate so let’s say that you pay half of that. $30.
  • Internet - $30 a month internet only. Please don’t waste your money on cable. Just use your mom’s Netflix account.
  • Travel expenses - I spend about $85 a month on gas. Let’s say you use public transportation and spend around $100.
  • Food - Figure you’ll be spending $100 per person each month. So that’s another $100.
  • Misc expense: Let’s just add an additional $50 worth of expenses on. Because you never know what’ll happen.

That leaves you $130 a month extra to put in savings or to use in the event of an emergency! That’s awesome. Substitute your own numbers in, and figure out how much you can afford for rent. Immediately disregard any apartments that do not fit in this budget.

3. Step Three: The best way to find dependable apartments is to consult with your fellow apartment renters. Consult with coworkers, friends, family- anyone who is currently renting in the area that you would like to rent in. Get the inside scoop on potential apartments, both their advantages and their pitfalls. If you don’t know anyone who is renting where you’d like to rent, here are some other apartment hunting options:

  • Craigslist: Obviously
  • Drive-bys: Literally drive around until you find a cool looking apartment complex. Find their rental office and go right in, this is how I found my first apartment.
  • Your college: The Dean’s Office will have a list of apartment offerings to give kids who don’t qualify for on-campus housing.
  • This Site: A list of the top ranked apartment hunting sites.

4. Set up an appointment: After finding a potential apartment, consult with the landlord or apartment representative to set up a date and time to see the apartment. Respond promptly to any email or phone call they leave for you. On the flip side, if they aren’t prompt in their response to you RUN.

The first apartment I ever looked at, my boyfriend and I showed up on time and the landlord wasn’t there. We called her and she said that she was running late, and told us that the apartment was open and we could show ourselves inside. Serious red flag, but we gave it the benefit of the doubt and went in. Long story short, she never showed up. She gave us a tour of the apartment over the phone and kept saying that she was five minutes away, but never came. We later found out that her rental office was two minutes from the apartment we looked at. Talk about flakey! We told her we weren’t interested, if she can’t even show up to show us the apartment, how the hell can we depend on her to fix any problems we might have? Because you’re young and inexperienced, some landlords will try to give you the run around. Your age is no concern of their’s, and has no bearing on how you will act as a tenant. Here are some red flags for flaky landlords:

  • Not contacting you within one day of leaving them a message. Disregarding the weekends.
  • Not showing up when they say they will.
  • Repeatedly telling you that you’re “young” or “inexperienced”.
  • Telling you that the apartment “is good for college kids” or “a good first apartment” (that just means it’s a shit hole).
  • If they tell you that the apartment has a large turnover (people are leaving for a reason).
  • If you speak with one person on the phone, and meet a different person who shows you the apartment.
  • If they can’t or refuse to give you the exact rent amount.
  • If they tell you that have to “run some numbers” based on your history. An apartment’s rent should be the same for everybody.
  • If they can’t answer basic questions about service providers for the apartment.
  • If you get a weird vibe from them. Listen to your intuition! This is the person who is going to be responsible for fixing all your apartment related problems, you will be dealing with them every month at least. If they seem unreliable, don’t sign the lease!

5. Step Five: Find your appointment buddy! Never, ever, EVER go to look at a potential apartment by yourself. I don’t care how friendly Wendy seems online, she may be a serial killer. There’s no way to tell. Here’s a list of people who can accompany you:

  • Your older brother
  • Your boyfriend/girlfriend
  • Your Aunt Meredith
  • Your second cousin
  • Your friend who can scream really loudly
  • Your Mother
  • Your Step Mother
  • Your old nosey neighbor who smells like cats
  • Literally anyone you can trust

Bribe them with chocolate, I don’t care. Take someone with you! If you absolutely cannot find anyone to go with you, then you need to take additional precautions. Here are some options:

  • Kitestring
  • “Share My Location” on your Iphone
  • Pepper Spray
  • Posting to Facebook the address you are going to and when you are expected to arrive and leave.
  • Rescheduling your appointment to a date and time when you can be accompanied

Apartment Checklist

A mental checklist is good in theory, but will you remember it when you’re actually at the prospective apartment with your Aunt Meredith? I think not! Make a physical list of some of the following points, and feel free to add your own. my list is super extensive, but that’s just who I am. I am detail oriented.

Tuck this list in your back pocket and consult it when the person showing you the apartment is not looking.

Expense related

  • How much is the rent?
  • Is the rent just the rent, or are there any amenities included? Some apartments include heat, hot water, or electric expenses.
  • Is hot water included (if the apartment has a washer/dryer in it, then the water is probably a separate expense)?
  • What Internet service providers are available?
  • What electric service providers are available?
  • Do I have to pay for garbage removal?
  • What is the average electric expense that other renters deal with?
  • Ask when rent is due. Find out what the rent check procedure is.

Basic

  • What type of heating/cooling is provided?
  • What appliances are in the kitchen? *If there is no oven or fridge and you are required to buy your own then run*
  • What is the apartment complex turnover rate?
  • Do you have a choice of carpet vs. hard wood floors?
  • Will window blinds be provided? *If the apartment complex won’t pay for something as simple as window blinds then the landlord is a cheapskate and can’t be trusted*
  • Is there a “curfew”? Most apartments have a time of night when all the tenants are supposed to be quiet. This is generally not enforced.
  • What will your address be?

Additional

  • Is any furniture included?
  • Is there a Laundromat in the complex? If not where is the closest one?
  • Similarly, is the Laundromat in the complex card operated or quarter operated? Do you have to pay a fee for the card? Is there a quarter dispensing machine?
  • Will you be given a free parking permit? *If parking is not free then run*
  • Ask about local shopping and gas stations.
  • Ask where your mailbox will be.
  • Ask what their pet policy is. (some apartment complexes charge an fee)
  • Ask what their policy on repainting/decorating is.
  • Ask what their maintenance request policy is.
  • Ask where the nearest dumpster is.
  • How often does the complex loose power?
  • Is there a nearby police station or fire department?

General check

  • Check all cabinets (for bug infestations or mouse droppings or that they open properly).
  • Open all the windows and check to see that there are screens installed. Especially important for us cat owners! If there are no screens- are they going to install screens before you move in?
  • Check that all the light switches work.
  • Check that the water turns on.
  • Flush the toilet.
  • Check all the closet space (for size, mold, and water damage).
  • Check how all the doors are set (some apartments will put doors in incorrectly and they’ll never close properly).
  • Check the outlets (bring a phone chord and plug it in).
  • Check any balcony access.
  • Take a look at the paint- is it chipped? Is it stained? Will they be repainting?
  • Knock on the walls to see how hollow they are (hollow walls require studs if you want to hang anything up).
  • Open up the oven and make sure it’s clean. If it’s not clean make it clear that it should be cleaned if you want to move into the apartment. It’s not your job to clean up after the previous tenant.
  • Check that none of the floorboards are sticking up/creaking.
  • Check for nails and screws in between hardwood floor, tile and carpet (I’m not even kidding).
  • Check your phone to see how much cell service you have.
  • Can you hear any neighbors? Could you hear them in the hallway?

Final Decision

If the apartment you visited fits all your criteria, feel free to tell the landlord that you’re interested in pursuing this apartment. This way they can advise you of the next steps. Before you sign ANYTHING, visit the apartment complex twice more to make sure that everything is kosher. Do NOT tell the landlord that you will be coming by.

  • During the day: Do a drive-by of your prospective apartment to see what it looks like during the day. Is it safe? Are there lots of people standing around outside? Is it loud?
  • During the night: Come back another night to check the safety of your apartment. Ask yourself- would I feel comfortable taking the trash out late at night? Having friends over? If the answer is “no” then run…

Applying to Rent the Apartment

Overview: After choosing an apartment that you like, there are lots of steps that need to be taken before you can actually move in. 

1. Rental application. You will need to fill out some sort of rental application when applying for an apartment. You’ll be asked for previous addresses (if you’ve lived in previous apartment complexes landlords will actually call and ask about how good of a tenant you were), if you’ve been convicted of a crime, pay stubs, references and/or credit information. If you don’t have a credit score, some complexes will require you to co-sign the lease with someone who does, like a parent. If a landlord does NOT ask you to fill out any kind of application, I’d advise you to run for the hills and not rent from them.

2. Approval. Apartment complexes will mail you a packet of information after you’ve been approved. This will list your new address, what power company services are available, apartment amenities, school districts, local attractions, as well as your next steps. My current apartment complex also mailed me what Internet providers are available, which was a nice extra bonus.

3. Initial expenses. Your next step will be to put down a “security deposit”. This will either be exactly the same or very close to the amount you pay for rent monthly. This deposit ensures that you don’t destroy the apartment, if you do they won’t refund you. You will also be asked to pay your first month’s rent in advance. Most rental companies will only accept money orders for these initial expenses, you have to go to your bank to get these. They’re essentially checks that take the money out of your account right away.

4. Apartment check. After you’re approved for an apartment, ask to see the actual unit that you’ll be moving into. Make sure that you see said apartment before signing any lease. Notice how loud your neighbors are, how good of a cell signal you have, the condition of the apartment, etc. This is a pretty extensive list.

Before You Move

1. List it up. Make a list of everything that you will need to accomplish before you are ready to move. This includes items that need to be packed, people that need to be contacted, pet accommodations, etc. I love lists, but you may not, so use any organizational technique that works for you.

2. Divide and conquer. After you’ve made your list, organize items based off of how much time they’ll take you. Packing will be fairly time-consuming, so this is something you’ll want to invite friends over for and break up over several days. I like to have “moving” parties whenever I’m getting ready to move, essentially I buy some chips and dip, play some Trap, and invite my friends over to act as my minions. Something like canceling your subscription to Cosmo will take you very little time and energy to do, so it’s something you can do when you’re ready for a stress-free activity.

3. Contact companies. Speaking of canceling your Cosmo subscription, you will need to update your address with all of the companies you use. If you’re no longer going to be using that company, you’ll need to call them and tell them when to end your service. If you’re going to continue to using that company, you’ll have to call them and tell that you’ll need an address change. Give them the exact date you’ll be moving so that they can backdate your information. Some examples of companies:

  • DMV in the county you’re moving to (if you’re going to drive)
  • Your doctor’s office
  • Your college (even if you graduated, they send out alumni letters all the time)
  • Your credit/debit card company
  • Your bank
  • Your phone company
  • Any government programs you’re a part of
  • Any companies that you have loans with
  • Your health insurance company
  • Your auto insurance company
  • Amazon

4. Pre-move in List. Make a shopping list of all the non-perishable items you will need before moving in. I’m talking trash cans, first aid kits, toilet paper, laundry detergent, etc. I like to work on this list over the span of several days, and do a large shop before moving in. Your moving day will be stressful enough as it is, don’t add the stress of missing something you need. Here’s a pretty good list.

5. Electric set-up. Use the information packed your landlord sent you to find out who your electricity provider is. Call them, you’ll probably get a pre-recorded message. Choose the option that says something along the lines of “set up electricity”. You will be connected to an actual human being, who will ask you to read your new address. Tell them to turn on power to your apartment a couple days before you move in. They will set up a billing plan with you (ask to be put on a budget, it’ll save you lots of money) and give you your account information.

6. Internet set-up. Setting up your internet is similar to setting up your electric, but a bit more hand’s on. Most cable/internet companies always have some sort of deal going on, a year or two years of discounted service. Be aware of when this discount will end, and contact the company to see if they can offer you a new deal. If Verizon is offered in your area, I strongly advise you to use them for Internet service. i was on a two year plan with them that saved us $40 a month on internet service, and after it ended they put us on a new plan that is now saving us $42 a month. Fuck yeah! Also make sure to set your internet installation date for the day after you move in, so that you’re not stuck sitting in your internet-less apartment, unable to read my blog. Know that most internet companies charge installation and routers fees, and if you complain enough they’ll drop one or both of these. Just be like “I’m a poor college student” or threaten to go to another internet company.  

7. Send ahead. If possible, send/drop off some of your items ahead of time. If you have a family member or a friend that lives nearby where you’ll be staying, ask if they can hold a few boxes for you. You can also mail yourself packages and ask your local post office to hold them for you, but you’ll need to arrange that ahead of time.

8. Forwarding address. You will inevitably forget something, so make sure to leave your forwarding address and contact information with your ex-landlord, college, ex-roommate, etc.

9. Signing the Lease. The last thing you will do before moving into your new apartment is signing a lease. You will be given a copy of the lease to keep, as well as the key to your apartment and/or laundry key. Keep your copy of the lease in a safe place, and make sure to get duplicates of your apartment keys.

During Moving

1. Take your time. Don’t try to unpack everything in one day! Take some time to explore your new space, and decide where to put everything in a leisurely way. There is no set schedule for moving.

2. Assistance. If you have friends/family helping you make the move, assign them specific tasks so that nobody spends their time pestering you and asking “what do you need help with?”. You can even decide these tasks ahead of time, during your plane or car ride over.

3. Be neighborly. You’ll likely meet some neighbors during this process, and make sure to stop and greet them, even if you’re in the middle of something. First impressions do matter, even when they shouldn’t, and spending thirty seconds to greet someone in a parking lot may save you a lot of hardship in the long run. Ask your neighbors to recommend local attractions, places to eat, what laundromats to use, etc.

4. Check everything. During your first few days moved into you new apartment, look around and make note of anything wrong. Outlets that don’t work, scratches on the wall, peeling paint, etc. Report these ASAP to your landlord to be fixed. This will give you a good idea of how put together their maintenance unit is. Make sure to offer maintenance workers water and be polite to them when they’re fixing anything in your apartment.

After You’re Settled (Specifically for Living Alone)

1. PKW. Phone, keys, wallet. Every time you go anywhere. Check twice. The worst part of living on your own is having to rely on yourself to never forget to lock yourself out or leave your wallet at a sandwich shop in a mall. Make absolutely sure you have duplicates of your keys (I would get a couple made) and give one to a friend who lives nearby who you can count on. I also like to keep an extra set inside the apartment itself in a secure place, just in case. Your landlord can let you in during office hours, but giving a key to a trustworthy friend helps you 24/7.

2. Cleaning routine. You don’t have to sit down at a writing desk and draft this out, but spend a few minutes coming up with a basic cleaning regime for you to follow. It’s definitely easier to do a little each day, but if that doesn’t work for your schedule set aside at least an hour and a half during your time off to get your apartment spotless. I don’t know about you, but whenever I deep clean my apartment I feel like I’m living in a hotel for a day, and I absolutely love it.

3. Make a “moving” shopping list. This is everything you will need (minus food) for your first week at your new place. Do a big shop, and get all the essentials out of the way: first aid kit, cleaning supplies, tape, cat food, etc. Your first week moving into your new place will be stressful enough, you don’t want to be halfway through setting up your living room and realize that you forgot to buy trash bags.

4. Secure yourself. I’m not the most agile or fast person in the world, and I do live in a mid-sized city that has a good deal of crime. The apartment complex I live in is very safe, but I still like to double lock my front door at night. It might be smart to keep some pepper spray or a baseball bat somewhere in your apartment, just in case.

5. Stay social. Even the most anti-social person gets lonely. Make sure to hang out with your friends, not just your co-workers, your actual friends. Get out off your apartment every few days and go see a movie, get a cup of coffee, go people watching at the park, etc. It’s easy to get depressed if you’re living alone and doing the same things the same way every day- allow yourself to mix it up.

6. Meal prep. It can be stressful and seem useless to cook complicated or “fancy” meals when you’re living on your own. Plan your meals for the week and make a list before going shopping. Get yourself enough food to make a variety of dinners that will only take you fifteen minutes. If you do want to go crazy and make steak and mashed potatoes for yourself, make enough for two meals. Also, nobody is going to think poorly of you for stocking your fridge with a couple frozen dinners.

7. Customer service. Living alone means that you are going to be doing a lot of talking to customer service representatives. Get comfortable talking to people over the phone. Tell the rep what you need as quickly as you can, and try to be polite because customer service at a phone center is a garbage job that doesn’t pay well. On the flip side, don’t be afraid to ask for a manager if you’re upset or unhappy with your service. Take their survey at the end of your phone call, tell them how unhappy you are. It’s someone’s shitty job to look at all those surveys, no complaint goes unheard. Companies with great phone service: Verizon, Apple, Amazon. Companies with awful phone service: USPS (literally the worst), electric companies, health insurance companies.

8. Guest space. This is not required, but it’s a good idea to have some sort of space for a friend to stay the night. A friend of mine had a bad breakup, showed up at my apartment with ten minute’s notice, and then fell asleep on my couch after an hour of crying. It as 7:30! Whatever, she needed it. Keep an extra blanket and pillow in your closet, I like to keep travel sized shampoos and conditioners in my bathroom cabinet on the off chance a guest wants to use my shower. I got these at a hotel for free, but they’re available at CVS and other pharmacies.

9. Toilet paper. Don’t let yourself run out of toilet paper! I like to buy more when I notice I only have one roll left. The same deal goes for paper towels.

10. Enjoy. Living on your own is simoltaneously exciting and exhausting, but an all around must-have experience. Enjoy the freedom to forget to make the bed, to decorate your bathroom however you want, to have ice cream for dinner, to watch reruns of Friends and cry when Rachel decides to move to France. Make sure to give yourself lots of space to move at your own pace, but please remember to eat three meals a day and to go to the doctor’s for a checkup at least once a year!

you wanna talk about stress? you wanna talk about stress? i’ve just stumbled onto a major company conspiracy, mac. how’s that for stress? this company is being bled like a stuck pig, mac, and i got a paper trail to prove it. check this out. take a look at this. that right there is the mail, now, let’s talk about the mail. can we talk about the mail? please, mac? i’ve been dying to talk about the mail with you all day, okay? pepe silvia. this name keeps coming up over and over again. every day, pepe’s mail is getting sent back to me. i look in the mail. this whole box is pepe silvia. so i say to myself, i gotta find this guy. i gotta go up to his office. i gotta put the guy’s mail in the guy’s god damn hands, otherwise he’s never gonna get it. it’s gonna keep coming back down here. so i go up to pepe’s office, and what. do. i. find. out? what do i find out? there is no pepe silvia. the man does not exist. so i decide, ohhh shit, buddy, i gotta dig a little deeper. there’s no pepe silvia? you gotta be kidding me? i got boxes full of pepe! all right, so i start marching my way down to carol in HR, and knock on her door and i say Caaaaaaaarol, Caaaaaaaarol, i gotta talk to you about pepe! and when i open the door, what do i find? there’s not a single goddamn desk in that office there is. no. carol. in. h. r. mac, half the employees in this building have been made up. this office is a goddamn ghost town.

If BTS songs were named like ‘Friends’ episodes
  • No More Dream: The one that started it all/ Hoseok’s forehead makes a rare appearance before going to war
  • We Are Bulletproof pt.2: The one that will not be forgotten (looking at you, Beyond The Scene) ft. ot7′s abs make a rare appearance
  • N.O: The one where 7 fetuses don’t wanna do homework
  • Boy in Luv: The one where the boys went past their ‘cooties’ stage/ The one where Jungkook accepted he was your oppa.
  • Just One Day: The one where Hoseok was labelled a murderer for killing people with his voice ft. BTS comes clean with their chair fetish
  • Danger: The one where Seokjin realised dancing was seriously not his thing/ The one where Namjoon’s hair looked like cupcake frosting.
  • War of Hormone: The one where BTS decided they were horny and slapping Jimin’s ass was a good way to show it…
  • I Need U: The one where Jimin made the bathtub his second home.
  • Dope: The one where they celebrated Halloween a little too early ft. Seokjin realising dancing would only get worse from here
  • Run: The one where KIM NAMJOON WHY WOULD YOU DO A LOLLIPOP DIRTY LIKE THAT ft. BTS gives us a look into psychology
  • Epilogue: Young Forever: The one that made ARMYs realise they were doomed for liking 7 boys because everything was a fucking theory 
  • Fire: The one where Yoongi thought it was a good idea to burn someone and have a whole clan chase their fucking asses in the future/ The one where ‘btw Seokjin has some camera time and lines in this one’
  • Save Me: The one where BTS realised aesthetics and mother nature was important
  • Blood, Sweat and Tears: The one that is facing a lawsuit from ARMYs because too many panties have been torn due to visuals/ the one that took drugs and shit to a whole new level ft. Seokjin is attracted to statues and Taehyung cosplays as Lucifer
  • Spring Day: The one where everyone wanted that cake to hit Namjoon’s face ft. BTS doesn’t wanna do laundry
  • Not Today: The one where Yoongi messed up big time and got all their asses killed ft. where the fuck is Seokjin, I’m asking for a friend
  • Come Back Home: The one where- no seriously, I’m done with this shit, where the actual fuck is Kim Seokjin, I will fucking shoot somebody
  • Chi Ase Namida: The one  where SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY-AYE-AYE-AYE
  • I like it: The one where Hoseok shows the world that he raps, dances and sings, bitches when will your faves ever
  • Coffee: The one where BTS is hella relatable because I could really use some caffeine right about now
  • Satoori Rap: The one where everyone thinks their dialect is better and it is Captain South Korea: Civil War
  • Attack on Bangtan: The one where one is for all and all is for one
  • Tomorrow: The one where 7 little boys tell you to live life and not fucking waste it
  • Cypher pt.3: The one where haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate ft. Supreme Boi pays a visit
  • Spine Breaker: The one where they tell you to respect yo mama and papa but the mv says otherwise because Kim seokjin might be pregnant with the 8th member ft. memekook makes his official debut
  • Jump: The one where BTS decided to dedicate a song to kangaroos
  • Hip-Hop Lover: The one where Rap Line teaches haters to stay in their fucking lane and let them live their lives
  • Let me Know: The one where Taehyung takes his voice deeper than the Pacific ocean
  • Will you put down your cell phone: The one where Namjoon is fucking done with technology and wants to bring back hardcore sociology
  • Look Here: The one where Namjin thought it was a good idea to verbally harass us
  • Second Grade: The one where BTS is all grown up, moving from diapers to potty training
  • Boyz with Fun: The one where the boys wanted to be party animals but with apple juice instead of wine
  • Converse High: The one where ARMYs thought Namjoon might have a foot fetish and Yoongi begs to differ
  • Nevermind: The one where Yoongi thought it was a good idea to make us tear up for the thousandth time and Seokjin didn’t give a shit or a fuck
  • Butterfly: The one where Jungkook observed his hyungs and got receipts to copy them on variety shows
  • House of Cards: The one where Jimin’s high notes are still stuck in our heads
  • Begin: The one where Jungkook was all ‘I luv u bro, no homo tho’
  • Stigma: The one where Taehyung invented murder through raspy breath and followed Jimin in slaying high notes
  • Lie: The one where Jimin realised he wasn’t going to grow a single inch despite drinking all that milk
  • Reflection: The one where everyone but Namjoon loves himself
  • MAMA: The one where Hoseok set an example of being a good son/sun, same thing
  • First Love: The one where Yoongi told us not to fucking touch his piano
  • Awake: The one where Seokjin thinks he’s a penguin because he can’t fly but in reality, he’s a pegasus who flew through the skies and beyond
  • Lost: The one where vocal line drew the line and said ‘screw cypher, now watch this’
  • Cypher 4: The one where rap line decided to be the rich bitch and make the haters their bitch
  • Am I wrong: The one where the fetuses realised how fucked up the world is
  • 21st Century Girl: The one where they invented feminism
  • 2!3! Hoping for better days: The one where BTS got really emo
  • Intro: Boy Meets Evil: the one where Hoseok makes the album his bitch
  • Do you: the one where Namjoon spits fire but it sounds like he’s spitting sex
  • I believe: The one where 6 little kids ask their leader if they can have a go at his mixtape
  • Joke: The one where Namjoon makes bandages look sexy
  • Agust D: The one where the sugar is salty and rips throats with his tongue technology
  • Tony Montana: The one that made Yoonmin real
  • So far away: the one that showed us true pain and made yoonjinkook canon
  • 4 o’ clock: The one where Vmin is canon but Namjoon and Taehyung take the spotlight and make our ovaries burst
  • Change: The one where Namjoon goes international
  • Even If I die, It’s you: The one where Taehyung realised, ‘if bighit doesn’t love Jin-hyung, I will’ and they killed it tbh
  • Expensive Girl: The one where Namjoon proved to all of us he’s a kinky piece of shit and proud
  • Trouble: The one where Namjin hinted that they were having a go at it
  • Arirang: The one where BTS made a political debut
  • Always: The one where Namjoon showed us that singing is his shit
  • 1 Verse: The one where Hoseok thought it was a good idea to bless with this miracle but never show up solo again ft. we’re still waiting for that mixtape, sweety
  • We don’t talk anymore: The one where Jungkook and Jimin thought it was okay to drop the bomb of how good their English pronunciation was
Transference (M) – Chapter 07

cr. [X] 

Summary: You and Hoseok struggle separately to process what has transpired between you.

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 7,733

Warning: Tantric!Hoseok, therapist/client relationship, mentions of alcohol, profanity.

A/N:  This chapter contains both the Reader and Hoseok’s POV and will be labeled whenever it switches. It’s a sad one, but necessary for the rest of the series. Hope you enjoy!

Chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07

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The Librarian *Bucky Barnes x Reader* NSFW

Originally posted by sebastiansource

Summary: A University AU. You have been studying in the library all weekend, although the sexy librarian has been distracting you. Turns out you’ve been a bit of distraction for him also.
Warnings: Explicit (+18) smut, public sex, no condom & oral. Also swearing

Quick thank you to my close friend @full-of-sins-not-tragedies for reading this over for me. - Rosalie


University was hard and stressful but you loved every second of it. You had made friends with all the History majors, your dorm roommate was hilarious and the campus coffee pop-up stand was a lifesaver, literally. University was everything you expected to be and more, you did think it would be more partying at 4 am but you did go to the occasional one or two at the weekend.

Except for this weekend. This weekend is spent in the library on campus, researching medicine in the 18th century. You had been arriving as soon as the doors opened and staying to just before closing time.

Also, you couldn’t lie the man running the library this weekend was hot. When you walked in on Saturday morning, he was perched behind the oak desk with a book, glasses perched on his nose and long hair tied back into a bun. White button up shirt tucked into blue denim jeans. He was intimidatingly handsome, rugged with the unshaven face but adorable in the sense his mouth moved as he read; muttering the words to himself.

You had, admittedly, been slightly creepy with the staring when reading about history became boring. He was just so intriguing to you. You hadn’t seen him work here through the week, you hadn’t seen him around campus either, he was an enigma to you. You wanted to know more but yet, you didn’t want to go up and just talk to him. So, you kept to sneakily peeking over the mountain of books at him.

When you walked in on Sunday morning it was dead. Everyone had gone out partying Saturday night, leaving the library to be empty on Sunday as they all nursed their hangovers. He was there, sat silently behind the desk, till he glanced up at the door opening and smiled at you. Pride and Prejudice perched in his right hand.

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Stealth Fail

Context: This was my group’s first time playing any sort of tabletop game. We had an array of characters including a rogue human named Nari, Orc Barbarian Mord, and my NPC character who was an Anti-Paladin. NPC was captured by a village of Orcs so Mord and other players decided to distract them so our rouge could use her Spider Boots to scale the wall to retrieve the NPC.

Nari: I put on my boots so I can sneak over the wall.

Me, DM: Roll stealth

Nari: *Rolls a critical fail (nat. 1)* … I begin singing “Living in the Sunlight” loudly as I walk up the wall.

Me, DM: The entire orc village turns to watch this rogue appear at the top of their wall singing loudly. You spy Ratams (NPC) tied to a pole in the center of the village

Nari: RATAMS! UP HERE! I’M HERE TO SAVE YOU!

Me, DM: The orc leader proceeds to stab Ratams several times in the abdomen with the ritual knife he wields.

The group proceeded to make a mad scramble to grab the dying NPC and flee the the village, everyone nearly drowning in the swamp due to running of of the trail into the water. After several hours of chaos they make it to a clearing to rest.

Nari: Guys, I don’t want to say that went flawlessly but I think that went really well!

Ever since then this single rogue character has gotten about 10 critical fails during important stealth moments.

3

🌈🌈🌈 Happy Pride Month y’all! 🌈🌈🌈

I decided to do something a bit different today and did a bit of traditional work as opposed to the usual digital stuff I do for this blog as I’m waaay out of practice - I have put this little original up for sale but I also understand if people aren’t interested in buying my face lmao

Huge thank you to @doctorzieglerwrites (Tea Rose E93) and @gingerstellagiulia (Begonia Pink RV14) for sponsoring markers that were used to make this! If you’d like to take part in the Sponsor a Pen Project then check out the info here

🌟 here’s a list of all the places you can find me online - please say hello or even donate/buy my work to show support!🌟

Not A Joke - Soulmate AU! Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Soulmate tattoo - Your soulmates birthdays appears on your body. Imagine being a young adult in the year 2017 and having ‘March 10th, 1917’ written on your arm (REQUEST BY ANON)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warning: None, really ! Enjoy,,,,

Word count: 2K

[[ Check Out My Masterlist ]]

A/N: Requests are open and I absolutely am open to anything! I love speaking to you guys and receiving any type of feed back so please don’t hesitate to send an ask or message (:

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March 10th, 1917
She didn’t get it; nobody did. How could she, a woman that lived in the year 2017, have a soulmate that is 100 years old? She always thought it was a painful joke. Everyone around her had years written on their wrist, arms, legs, you name it. But from the year 1917? No. She was the only one. The one who had a joke for a soulmate.

Yeah, sure, maybe there was one old man still kickin’ it out there, but there was no chance in hell she’d marry him. There was no chance she’d put herself in that type of predicament, therefore, her tattoo was a joke.

It pissed her off, beyond what anyone could imagine. Everyday, she was reminded by the date, the date tattooed in the crease of her arm. It pissed her off because she wasn’t the type that normally attracted anyone. She wasn’t the one for love, or so that’s what she thought. Nobody was really interested in her, and the only chance of someone liking her was for a laugh.

She was deep in her thoughts when someone brought her back to reality.

“Hey, (Y/N)! Don’t want to be caught dozing off on the job, do you?” Her friend, Austin, threw a hacky sack at her arm.

Laughing, she picked it up and swung it back at him. “You need these for the customers! Don’t go throwing them at your friends!”

He swiftly grabbed the toy before setting it on the small counter. There were a handful of booths in the amusement park, and they just had to make him watch over the ones with miniature bing bags.

While Austin was taking over the booth called ‘Tin Can Toss’, she was in charge of the ‘I Can Guess Your Weight/Age!’ game. She hated it, really, but she had to make money some how, and for her it was guessing something she didn’t nearly care about.

It’s not that it was boring, but it was stupid. They had her take special classes, 45 minutes a day wasted on learning what was the best way to guess someone’s age or weight. Sure, she’d rather be working at a Starbucks or any old candy store, but for now she was stuck on a guessing game.

“Keep an eye out, I think that group over there is planning on playing your game” Austin spoke up, pointing in the direction behind her.

She looked over her shoulder and groaned. Three guys and girl were leaning up against a fence that surrounded the carousel nearby, their eyes stuck on the booth you sat in. A darker male was laughing loudly, nudging another man with long brown hair your way.

“Nah, they’re just laughing at how stupid the game is.”

“I don’t know, (Y/N). I think they’re coming!” He nodded his head in their direction, clearly pointing out that the group was making their way toward you.

She practically whined at her friend before turning towards the customers with a fake smile.

“Hello! Plan on playing?” She kept that fake smile plastered on her face, observing each and every one of them.

“Yeah, actually, my friend here wants you to guess his age.” The darker man from before clamped his hands on the back of the brunettes shoulders, pushing him even closer to her.

“Oh, yeah? Alright, let’s give it a go! It’ll just be 5 dollars.” She watched as the third man dug his wallet out of his pocket. After a few moments, he handed her the bill and she stuck it in the apron around her waist.

“Okay, so let’s see.” She walked toward the shy man, looking him up and down, studying his facial features and body shape. “You don’t mind if I just… awkward check you out, right? I promise, it’s part of the job.”

He smiled, chuckling silently. His eyes observed the woman before him, watching her study his body as if it were an art piece in a gallery.

“Well, before I guess, remember that if I’m 2 years off, it counts. Alright?” She crossed her arms, thinking one last time before receiving a nod from the male.

“Okay, give it your best.” His friends behind him laughed, covering their mouths. She knew something wasn’t right, but she didn’t know what. The whole group was acting weird. Why were they acting weird?

“28.” She shrugged her shoulders, wrinkling her eyes in uncertainty. She watched them as they held their laughter in, trying not to seem like they were laughing at her guess.

“Way off?” She dropped her arms, sighing. “I’m new to this job. I lost, go ahead and grab a prize.” She placed a hand on her hip, the other rubbing her face as she closed her eyes.

“Don’t even want to know my actual age?” He hesitantly stood there, looking back at his friend, then returning his gaze back at her.

“To see how much I failed? Nah, I’ll pass.” She smiled while doubting herself, watching the man rub his stubble.

“You technically are around that age physically, Bucky. Cut her some slack, she was right.” The blond friend set his hand on Buckys shoulder.

She furrowed her eyebrows, giving a confused smile. “Whatever that’s suppose to mean.”

He looked back at his friends, receiving an ‘approval’ nod. Not only did she notice, but she was even more confused as she was before.

“Well, I don’t know how to say this but,” He trailed off, looking behind him at his blond friend again. She could tell he was looking for reassurance, but not what for. “I’m 100 years old. My body looks around 28 years old, but technically I’m 100.”

She put on a humorous smile, looking over at Austin who was eavesdropping from the booth. He hid his laugh, shrugging at her.

“100? Glad I know someone around the same age, I’m 97.” She held her hand out at Bucky, smiling mischievously while he gave her a serious look.

“Don’t believe me?” She dropped he hand, rolling her eyes at how serious he was taking the act.

“Why would I? There is no way in hell you’re 100 years old. You don’t even look old enough to have your own children.” She leaned against the back of the booth, crossing her arms and laughing dryly.

“He’s not lying.” The friend from earlier walked forward, setting his hand on Buckys shoulder. “Ever heard of Captain America?”

She continued to stare strangely at the men, wondering why they’re even telling her this. Even if they were telling the truth, why go as far as this to prove it to her?

“Steve Rogers, the face of America! A man who was frozen in ice, brought back, and now works for the Avengers or something. Are you telling me you’re Captain America?” She sarcastically explained, rubbing her eyes, and growing tired of the conversation. None of it made sense to her, and she didn’t care anyways.

“Well, I am. This here is my friend Bucky.” The blond claimed, staring at her as if not an ounce of what he said was a lie.

She leaned her head back, looking at the sky.
Great, (Y/N). Here you are, sitting at a worthless booth being told this man is 100 years old and is best friends with Captain America.

“Okay, but why are you telling me this?” She straightened her back, grabbing the nearby water bottle and taking a long drink.

“We walked past this booth earlier, and uh,” He trailed off, looking towards the darker man that had kept quiet this whole time. “My friend, Sam, noticed your arm.”

“My arm?” She looked down at her arm, seeing nothing out of the ordinary.

“Well, it says the 10th of March, 1917.” His finger pointed toward the part of your arm which had the birthdate of your soulmate.

“You’re not implying that-“

“Is your birthday (DD/MM/1989)? That’s all I want to know.” Bucky cut her off, staring at her arm and then into her eyes. “I just want to make for sure.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” She furrowed her eyebrows, staring at the floor. There was no way he was he soulmate, this made no sense.

She took a deep breath, accepting the situation and began to believe it. Why would they lie about this? It had to be true, right?

“All this time I thought I was going to be this old mans soulmate. There’s no way! This has to be a joke!” She ran her hands through her hair, looking over at her friend for support. He shrugged his shoulders before giving her a smile that basically said ‘it’s all on you’.

She inhaled deeply, staring at the blue-eyed man in front of her. “If you are my soulmate, then this whole time I actually had one, and it wasn’t some old man on life support. Holy shit! I can’t believe this! I never thought this day would come! I think I’m actually-“

“Calm down, Doll.” His voice spoke deeply to her, calming her down instantly. “Breathe. Just breathe.”

She slowly nodded, taking in a deep breath and calming her heart beat.

Someone scoffed loudly behind him, speaking up in a humorous voice. “Don’t tell her to calm down, you were practically the same way before we calmed you down and brought you over here.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, looking behind him and slapping the mans arm, receiving a troublesome grin. “Sam. You’ve stayed quiet, and then you decided to speak at the worse time?”

Bucky turned back to her, looking at her arm once again before pulling his left sleeve up. “I always thought that God put a date from many generations after me on my arm as a joke. As if I couldn’t love anyone from my own generation. I surrounded myself with different woman, hoping to just prove to myself that I could love someone. Then I lost my arm, and for the longest I couldn’t remember the date that was printed there.”

“Your arm-“ She instantly grabbed his left arm, holding it in her hands and admiring the metal blades. She would have felt sorry, but she somewhat found it amazing. “You can use this as your arm? How is that possible?”

She traced her fingers against the patterns on his arm, holding them strongly in her grip as if it was as fragile as a glass plate.

“Maybe you can explain it to her over dinner tonight.” The woman finally spoke up, giving you both a smirk.

Bucky looked over his shoulder, laughing at what she had said “Did you just hit on her for me?”

“Someone had to do it.”

“Agreed” Steve spoke up, earning a nod from Sam.

“Keep in mind that you were the back alley kid once.” Bucky shook his head before pulling his sleeve back down and shoving his hands into his pockets.

Steve walked up, giving him a pat on the back. “Hey, I’ll leave you two alone for now. Call me when you’re ready.

They shared a smile before exchanging a few words, and parting ways. The three traveled to a food stand across the walkway, slowly watching them both out of the corner of their eyes.

He began to speak, trying to start a small conversation and learn the basics but he kept noticing the obvious glances from across the park.

“Obvious, aren’t they?” He looked across the area, watching them as they quickly look the other way as if they weren’t staring moments before.

“Very.”

He smiled awkwardly before hesitantly holding out his human arm towards her. She gave him a confusing, but humorous look before slowly accepting it and shaking.

“Sorry, I just never got to introduce myself properly. Bucky Barnes, well, James Barnes. I’d like to go by Bucky though.”

“I kinda like James, I don’t know.” She teased, giving him a quick wink and setting her hands on her hips. “Nice to meet you, bucky.”

“C’mon now, Darlin’. I need a name in return.” He sheepishly smiled at her, receiving a blush and an awkward smile.

“(Y/N). (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

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Tags:
@ginger-wayward-assbutt @gallifreyansass @walkingtravesty97 @crazy4thewinbros @iamwarrenspeace
@itbeganlongago @nadtandy @feelmyroarrrr @xabeautifultragedyx @ssweet-empowerment

We’re playing Curse of Strahd right now and we have reached the Amber Temple. Our DM has decided to put a more interesting NPC in the temple than the book had, which is a slightly demented litch named Azalin Rex, which we just call Rex (old school players should know who this is).

Druid : How long have you been here?

Rex: *rolls up sleeve which reveals the tallies on his arm* around 200 years.

Paladin: Why don’t you just mark the dates down on stone? That seems a bit extreme.

Druid: Probably because you can’t carry that with you. You could have used paper though.

Rex: Paper would have dissolved in this time!

Druid: I guess you’re right… wait… Strahd’s emo journal was still around and he’s older than the curse on this place, so what the hell is that journal made out of?

Monk: Teenage tears.

DM: *spits out his drink*

You have half a moonrise to answer the following questions

1.     You encounter a wolf in the woods. Do you:

     a.     Turn around and exit the forest, not looking back

     b.     Give it the gift of your beating heart

     c.     Follow it deeper into the tree line

2.     Have you ever been in love?

     a.     Yes

     b.     I can still see their eyes gouged out with thorns

     c.     She walked on knives for me and could not scream

     d.     I had a little brother, once

3.     You are home. What do you do with the beast that follows your every move?

     a.     I make myself untouchable in a necklace of roses

     b.     I work my fingers to the bone tracing ash over the windows

     c.     I name it over and over until we both forget its true self

4.     True or false:

     a.     __ You do not regret your stepmother’s passing

     b.     __ You cannot leave the forest without leaving part of yourself behind

     c.     __ You dream every night of finding a new tower, away from everything

     d.     __ You want water in your lungs so badly your bones ache for it

5.     You leave the castle at 12:30 PM and the beast follows twenty minutes later. Assuming you can run at a pace of 6.7 miles per hour and the beast lopes behind at an easy 12 miles per hour, how long until it catches you?

6.     Define:

     a.     The days you see too much red and start to cry

     b.     The nights you can feel spindles pricking every part of you

     c.     The moments you remember what you have seen deep in the earth

     d.     The times you taste ash in the back of your throat

7.     When is a monster not a monster?

     a.     When you love it

     b.     When you kill it

     c.     When you are it

8.     Do you know what you’ve done?

      a.     I survived

9.     Are you sorry?

      a.     I survived

10.  Was it worth it?

      a.      

Tripartite

Originally posted by lawlliets

Genre: Drama/Soulmate!AU

Word Count: 6914


Most people are born with three names tattooed on their wrist: Their true love, their biggest enemy, and their greatest ally. You only have one name. (X)


You were walking slower than normal, the tall stack of paper and envelopes weighing you down and throwing off your balance. You could feel your purse slipping from your shoulders, and your arms were growing tired as you walked across the lobby of your office building. You took a few rushed steps towards the stairwell, the elevator had unfortunately stopped working. You leant the stack of papers against the wall, readjusting your grip before attempting to ascend the narrow stairwell. Sadly, your efforts were in vain.

Rushed footsteps were approaching fast from behind until suddenly, a body slammed into your shoulder. You gasped in horror as you watched the stack of paper in your hands topple to the ground. You looked up, expecting an apology, but all you saw was the figure of an unfamiliar man with blonde hair, dressed in a suit, hastily dashing up the stairway, skipping every second step.

“Rude,” you muttered to yourself, hearing his footsteps grow quieter as he ascended. You glanced down at the mess in front of you, stretching out your hands to soothe the ache that had developed from carrying the stack. You glanced down at your wrists as you massaged the joint, watching the words written on the skin crease with your movements.

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So, somebody asked if I did tutorials, so I thought I’d put a couple notes about my process down here in case they’re helpful to anyone.

I decided to paint this sucker on a whim (as is the case with most of my paintings), after one of @asktheboywholived‘s amazing rps of post-Azkaban Sirius showed up on my dash.

Here’s how I did it:

1. Start with a neutral background (I usually go for grey or white if I’m painting in greyscale, or some form of beige if I’m working with colour)

2. Create a new layer, and use a giant fluffy brush to map out the broader areas of light and shade, then use a progressively smaller brush to refine the features. 

Pro tip: try not to zoom in too much at this stage, because when that happens you might lose track of the painting as a whole and end up working on the left nostril for like an hour. Not that I’m speaking from experience or anything.

3. Start another layer underneath the head/hair, and paint the neck (and body if you’re not me and actually paint bodies) with the same brush techniques as the face.

4. Create a new layer every time you begin a new feature that you’re nervous about, so that you don’t fuck up the current layer. For this one, that was the hands, because I’ve actually never painted hands before.

5. Begin adding details that really sell whoever it is you’re painting; for Sirius, that was the tattoos and wand (and much later, the under-eye bags/eyeliner/gaunt cheeks)

6. Fuck with the background, go back and forth for like 5 hours, second-guess yourself at least 12 times, and eventually delete everything in favour of plain white.

Total time: 2hr40ish

A few things about working with a reference image: unless I’m painting someone from a movie or someone I know, I generally don’t worry too much about getting it to look exactly like the image. Instead, I focus on light and shade, pose, proportions, and features which I have trouble with (e.g. noses, hands, mouths). For this one, I tried to make it look less like the model and a bit more like TT’s Sirius by thickening the eyebrows, emphasizing the cheekbones, and giving him some bomb-ass clavicles. It was also helpful to imagine him doing a wiggle dance/grinning slowly at the camera.

Hope that was useful! Let me know if you want more detailed tutorials like this or if you just want me to throw up the process videos and shut up.

Music: Mooncatch

Soft Derek

this one’s for you charlie @halerogers love you lots xx here’s some soft derek because you deserve it 


“Der?” Stiles called out as he made his way into the pack house.

“Upstairs,” he heard Derek call out.

Stiles threw his jacket on the couch and made his way up to Derek’s room.

“Whoa,” Stiles exclaimed as he looked around the room. “Did you buy an entire clothing store or something dude?”

Derek’s room was covered in clothes, in what looked like semi-organized piles.

“Very funny. No, I finally got everything from my storage unit in New York shipped over here and I’m deciding what I want to keep and what gets donated,” Derek said without looking up, staying focused on matching a drawer full of odd socks.

“Can I help?” Stiles asked, weirdly intrigued with the contents of Derek’s closet.

“You can put all the donate piles into boxes and label them for me,” Derek said, gesturing to a pile of flat unmade boxes and a permanent marker.

Stiles hummed to himself as he got to work putting the boxes together.

“So, what goes in this first box?” he asked.

“All those dark jeans,” Derek said, pointing to what Stiles for sure thought was part of the ‘keep’ pile.

Derek must have sensed this because he spoke up.

“I’m keeping a few pairs but I really have no need for 10 pairs of identical pants.”

“Yeah but they make your ass look good,” Stiles said as he smirked. He loved being Derek’s boyfriend now because he could stay stuff like that without the fear that Derek might actually tear him apart.

“Just put them in the box,” Derek said with a fondness to his voice.

An hour later, majority of Derek’s closet was packed into boxes, labeled and ready to drop off at the charity store.

“So what’s with the wardrobe change?” Stiles asked.

“What do you mean?” Derek asked.

“I mean, you now own more sweatpants than sinfully tight jeans and I counted 12 sweaters and only 3 leather jackets. You’re turning into a softie.”

Derek mumbled something under his breath that Stiles didn’t quite catch.

“What?” he asked.

“It reminds me that I’m safe,” Derek said, as if that was a totally detailed explanation.

“Explain,” Stiles said, moving off the floor to join Derek on the bed.

“When I was in constant danger and on the run, I had to be ready to leave at a moment’s notice, and it was more practical to be wearing outdoor clothes. But now I’m at a point in my life where I feel safe and calm and my favorite part of the day is getting to lounge around in sweatpants whenever I’m not at work.”

Stiles took a minute to absorb all of that before linking his hand with Derek’s and squeezing tight.

“I love you Der. Plus, the cozy clothes make for more comfortable cuddling so I approve.”

Derek snorted, only pulling Stiles in closer to his side.

“Well anything to make you more comfortable,” Derek laughed.

Stiles would never get tired of hearing Derek laugh. And if you told him 5 years ago that his favorite outfit on Derek was loosely hung sweatpants and an oversized hoodie, and not his tight jeans and leather jacket, Stiles would have never believed it.

Derek deserved everything soft and safe and Stiles vowed in that moment to make sure he gave that to Derek every day for the rest of their lives.  

off to sleep