decided to do some mock the week for shits and giggles

Tessellate

Tom Holland x Reader x Harrison Osterfield

Summary: You, Tom and Harrison are in quite the predicament when you unexpectedly meet your best friends other best friend. Sometimes, interests can overlap. Part one of three.

Word Count: 4,821

Warnings: cursing

A/N: well guys, remember like six months ago when i asked if anyone wanted a Tom and Harrison love triangle? this is it. 


Harrison’s apartment number stands right in front of you, a glistening silver number on an otherwise smooth white door. You wonder how exactly he’s able to stay in a cushy place like this for only a couple of weeks while he does something-or-other in Manhattan.

You thought about asking him, but his door opens, the rush of air making you shiver. Harrison stares at you with wide eyes for a moment, taking in your soaking wet figure. It’s uncomfortable, being under his gaze like that, even though you’ve been friends for years.

“Are you just going to stare at me, or can I come in?” you blurted, walking by him without waiting for an answer. He seems to regain his senses about thirty seconds later, closing the door and sliding over to you.

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anonymous asked:

hello i just wanted to yell abt this to someone but i feel jake's ig mostly has pics with amy in it. like it's not a conscious thing ?? but one day he's looking through it and he's like omg this is p much all amy with a bunch of !!!!!!!!! dork as captions il

hi!! Come and yell to me whenever I love this!! ️<3 I got so carried away w this and was making notes about it on my phone for ages

SO: okay yes ABSOLUTELY this is the truth and even if he knows he’s doing it he 100% tries to be slick about it/act like it’s nothing at first??? I’m gonna throw in some headcanons that nobody asked for to explain myself bc I’m sad and love this idea so much:

  • Jake’s had an Instagram account since 2011, largely because Gina forced him to open one and be her first follower (which obvs turned out to b the first of thousands)
  • 95% of his posts, to start, are just him doing Stupid-Fun-Jake-Shit! e.g. Splash Mountain / meeting Regis Philbin / eating a mountain of sausages w his dad / him and the squad in a booth at Shaw’s, pulling faces
  • Amy obviously begins appearing on his account LONG BEFORE they actually begin a romantic relationship; and it’s all teasing/mocking e.g.        - A picture of their two desks with the caption “guess who’s the most fun?”  
    - A picture of Amy working hard at her desk, fixated on her computer- looking completely beautiful, though that’s NOT why he took it, duh- with Gina in the background pulling a face at her                                                 - His crowning glory, and favourite Instagram post of all time, AKA the final post of their non-romantic relationship, taken only a couple of weeks before they kiss for the first time; a dim picture he took of Amy giggling like a lunatic in the passenger seat of his car on a stakeout, her face scrunched up as she clings onto her stomach with laughter. He posts it without a caption, unable to justify it- until Charles makes a comment at work about how “the best things in life need no explanation” and he promptly updates the caption to something under the lines of “memorialise this evidence of Santiago finding me funny" 

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The Ultimate Ending {Park Jimin} ~Ceasefire~

Prompt: You riding Jimin’s thigh idk I wanna see a smut like that

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Warning: None

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The Carnival (Negan x Female)

Summary: The Saviors find a fairgrounds fully intact and Negan asks her to be his date.

Characters: Negan x Female

Word Count: 1,920

Warnings: NSFW, Smut, and Swearing 

Author’s Note: This fic was requested by @prettyepiic who wanted “smut at the Carnival”. I hope I delivered! Fair warning, it’s pretty dirty. ;D

Thank you to @ashzombie13 for being my beta reader!

Please let me know what you think! You can message me anytime! I LOVE feedback!

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anonymous asked:

How would the chocobros be with a really short S/O? Like 5ft or shorter?

I too am vertically challenged, so I assume they’d treated them very similar to how i’m treated by my tall friends.

~~~~~

Noctis

“Need some help with that?” Noctis would asked playfully, only to get a sassy little pout in return.

“I’m already up here!” You would replied, already standing on the countertops to get whatever you needed, knowing that the Prince put it up there so he could make fun of you. Despite you only being 5 foot, your Prince Charming stood at a beautiful 5 foot 9.

Making him perfect model height, and the Prince of high reach places. Snagging your chips, you turned back towards your boyfriend already knowing where he was standing, directly underneath you, as you dropped them on his face before starting your journey of climbing down the countertops.

“Aww, I love my tiny sweetie.” Noctis would mockingly coo, as he held your chips above his head, out of your reach, resulting in you bouncing and clinging to him to get them back.

“Noctis give them!”

“Gotta pay the Noct tax.”

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Luminescence: Chapter 1

Masterlist

Summary:  Dan never expected Phil to seriously notice him. Sure, maybe he’d glance at his sign and laugh, but not even in his wildest dreams did he imagine actually getting called up onstage to do the one thing he’d dreamed of for years. But what happens when a simple kiss unexpectedly turns into something more?

Formerly titled “One for the Books”

Word Count (for this chapter): 3.1k

Genre: Fluffy smut

Extra tags: Musician AU, concerts, first kiss, getting together, first time

Warnings (for this chapter): Smut (but nothing explicit), swearing

Read on ao3

A/N: Based on a prompt from phanfic:

basically, dan is a total fangirl of phil, who’s a musician. phil does this thing, like halsey does, where he’ll be people’s first kiss at concerts. dan goes to his concert and phil notices dan, they kiss but it turns out to be a total make out session. you decide what happens next…

Yeah. Can you imagine how much I wanted to write this? Well, after nearly 3 long weeks, it’s finally here! I hope you enjoy!!

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Text Me, Babe

A/N: This is my first Hawaii Five-0 story. It’s an AU, unedited so all mistakes belong to me. I’m not sure I like it all that much, but whatever. I love McDanno. That’s enough.

When Steve reaches shore, he pulls out his phone to text his father before freezing. He stares down at the open text and for the first time in nearly half a year, he’s forced to face the knowledge that his father is gone.

It’s been a year since his murder, a year since the son of a bitch who did it got away. A year since he was made an orphan. At that, Steve snorts. He’s in his thirties and somehow still feels like an orphan.

He thinks about texting Mary next, but the thought is quickly dismissed. He tried calling her last month to let her know he was coming home and finishing the last of his contract on base, only to discover her number had been discounted and she’d been in the wind.

Steve doesn’t have anyone else to contact. He still has some friends on the island, but none that he’s really kept in contact with. He doesn’t want to reach out to them because he doesn’t want them to feel pressured into seeing him. Or even end up pressuring himself into seeing them. He’s just not ready for that.

So he thinks about putting the phone away, but can’t. In the end, he types out, “I’m home,"and sends it to his father’s old number. He stares at it a moment, a pain welling up in his chest. That pain turns to horror that crosses over his entire body when the word ‘Read’ appears under his message.

Of course his father’s phone number belongs to someone else now. It’s been six months since he disconnected it, having decided there was no more use out of it for the investigation. He thought that it would help him move on in the end. He was wrong. And now he was regretting it more than ever.

He thinks about sending a 'sorry, wrong number’ or something else but the person doesn’t seem to be responding so he just slips his phone back in his pocket and drives to his parent’s home, pretending the pain in his chest isn’t making it difficult to breathe.

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Bright as the Night Sky (Part 1):

So here is part one of my fan fic! Hope everyone enjoys it as much as I have writing it! I can’t wait to get to the interesting part because it is literally my imagination come to life!

Summary:

Feyre is busy trying to think of a creative gift for her 100th anniversary with Rhysand, and for once the inner circle is out of ideas. It’s only until Rhysand and her are invited to witness a rare performance by the people of Velaris that she finds her muse. But what will remain to celebrate once she discovers a dark secret.

The setting takes place WAY after ACOWAR and gives insight into the life of the inner circle and Feyre’s sisters, as well as the High Lord and Lady of the Night Court. It does stem from my first fan fiction Safe at Last but is not necessary to read to understand.

WARNING: This has been written BEFORE I have read ACOWAR (So there is Elucien and Moriel) and Lucien is still viable for the Autumn Court and it’s staying that way (because I don’t want to dethrone Helion) aannnddd I love these ships too much to destroy them so its STAYING THAT WAY. 

Sections:

[AO3]:

Part 2:

Part 3:

Part 4:

Part 5:

Part 6:

Part 7:

Part 8:

Part 9:

Part 10:

Part 11:

Part 12:

Part 13:

Part 14:

Part 15:

Part 16:

Part 17:

Part 18:

Part 19:

Part 20:

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7 Days of Heaven (Prologue)

Teaser 1 Teaser 2  Day 1-Jaebum  Day 2-MarkDay 3-Jinyoung Day 4-Jackson  Day 5-Youngjae  Day 6-Bambam   Day 7-Yugyeom

Before everything and anything goes downhill, here’s to give you an insight on how the story will start.

This is short, plain, and very simple.  No warnings involved or anything like that!

Enjoooooooy!


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Happier Part 2 | Seth Rollins

Title: Happier Part 2

Pairing: Seth Rollins/OFC

Summary: I’m selfish, I know. But I don’t ever want to see you with him.

Words: 3,278

Warnings: A bit of angst

A/N: Here’s Part One ! Hope you guys enjoy this! <3

Tagging: @ortonaholic

Originally posted by the-architect-rollins

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Are You Flirting With Me?

Paring: Roman Reigns X reader
Rating: Teen? (There’s kissing, and implied pants-off stuff)
Length: 2.2k, long
Type: Request from @m-a-t-91 from forever ago (I’ll get better at request, I promise)
Warnings: Major fluffiness, comments about weight/fat, body image issues, poor self-esteem

Summary: Roman flirts with a new person, (y/n) backstage.

A/N: I tried very hard to make the reader gender neutral. It won’t always be possible, but I’ll make sure to have a gender neutral fic here and there. As always, thank you for reading! I genuinely appreciate your comments and feed back!

Working backstage during a WWE live show was an absolute circus. You were in one place when three different people would request your presence in five other places and that was just when you arrived.

Looking through different check lists, making phone call after phone call, and trying to tune your headset to the right frequency were manageable when you didn’t have to do them all at once. But this was your job now, and you kind of just had to /do it/.

After the show started, things settled down. Not so much at one time, but still hectic. Get Charlotte here. Seth needs something there. Don’t forget the props for New Day’s entrance. That kind of stuff was your purview as a talent liaison. You were a go-fer for the superstars.

As you caught your breath in a corner near the end of the night, you realized you were standing right next to Roman Reigns. He was a friendly guy. You two chatted it up in the halls quite a bit, but he intimidated you. He was talented, handsome as hell, and huge. Well, huge compared to you.

“Hey, baby, slow down. I see they got you runnin’ again tonight.” He smiled at you. Your heart jumped a bit.

“Yeah, I’m worried they think I’m getting fat or something, making me sprint like this… kinda seems like it,” you joked, hoping you didn’t sound lame.

“I think you look just right,” he shrugged, looking you over. ‘Oh, shit. Can he not do that?’ You thought, having to hold your knees a little tighter so you didn’t just melt.

“Thanks,” you smiled, trying to think of an excuse to leave, but the show was wrapping up and after that there wasn’t much to do.

“Have you eaten?” He asked. You frowned in thought. You hadn’t had anything since lunch.

“No, but-”

“There’s a great twenty-four hour joint right on the edge of town. Dean-o and I used to hit it up after shows here. Seeing as he’s on the blue brand now, I don’t have anyone to go with. Wanna come with me?”

“I’ve got stuff-”

“Hey, if you don’t want to go, I guess I can go alone.” He said, making his best puppy dog face at you, and damn if it wasn’t working.

“I, um,” you said, trying to think straight.

“Come on, y/n,” he pleaded. You were utterly shocked he knew your name, but a small part of you was doing your happy dance. “I won a hard fought match tonight and I just want to eat some good food across from a beautiful person.”

“I can try and find Tyler Breeze for you, but I think he already left.” You joked, defecting the compliment. Roman laughed out loud, and it made your soul sing.

“Not Tyler, you baby. What do you say?”
***
“Okay, that was some of the best diner food I’ve ever had,” you admitted as you and Roman walked back to his rental. You never rode with Talent, with a capital T. This was the first time, and it was just as fun as riding with the other liaisons. Actually more so. There wasn’t really any “shop talk” between you two. Other than making fun of Vince’s head set tirades. Roman confessed that sometimes when he was on commentary and Vince was going off he had to cover his smile with a hand.

“I told you it was a good place,” he said, sliding in the driver’s seat with predatory grace. “You staying at the same hotel as us?” He asked, starting the car.

“No, no,” you said, checking your email for your room confirmation. There wasn’t one. You scrolled through your emails again, and then checked all the deleted ones. “Turns out I might not have a room.”

“You didn’t book one?” He asked, turning back onto the road that led to the highway.

“I don’t know. Do you mind if I make a call? I know it’s rude in a car, but-” you were starting to freak out. It was a holiday weekend in a coastal city. If you hadn’t booked in advance you were screwed.

“I don’t mind.” He said, glancing your way with concern.
***
“Okay, nope, shit, fuck,” you said after hanging up with the last hotel in your destination city. “I don’t have a room. I guess I’m staying on someone’s floor.”

“Not after the day you had,” he scoffed. “Stay with me.”

You felt your whole body get hot. You could barely be in a car with this man, you couldn’t share a room with him. You would explode into hot pink flames just thinking about it too much.

“That’s very nice, Roman, but-” you tried, but he cut you off.

“No buts.” He said firmly. His voice making you shiver.

“Why?” You asked, feeling a little braver around him than usual. He invited you to dinner. Offered his room to you. You figured you were allowed to be curious at this point. You waited on baited breath for his answer.

“Because I’ve decided to be a very good friend of yours,” he said all smiley. You smiled back, feeling more comfortable and therefore impish.

“As long as it’s a one way street, Reigns, I’m fine with that.” You said, making him laugh again. You loved making people laugh, but making Roman laugh was kind of the best.

“Oh, but it’s not,” he said in mock seriousness.

“What?! I have to be a very good friend of yours back!? Ew!” You strained your voice to make it sound like a terrible request. A horrific burden. He chuckled knowingly. A smile jumped to the corners of your mouth at hearing his mirth and seeing the corners of his eyes crinkle.

“Yes. A very good friend of mine. Emphasis on very,” he turned to you just a bit so you could see him wink.

“Roman!” You cried, laughing and swatting his arm. Every inch of you felt warm with embarrassment.

“Hey! I’m driving here!” He laughed, pushing your hand away.

“And I’m just trying to live!” You giggled back, resisting his push a little. The two of you almost holding hands.

Suddenly, you realized those touches were the first time you’d touched each other. Then you realized just how flirtatious those touches had been. Was it your imagination, or had all of this been flirting? Certainly it was flirting on your part. He was so goddam handsome. But was it possible he was flirting with you? For weeks you brushed it off as wishful thinking, but now…

“So…? Music?” He asked, reaching for the media cord.

“Hit me with the jams, Reigns,” you said, thanking God that he was turning on music. That would give you time to think.
***
“I can’t believe you knew every word. Like, every fucking word!” Roman said, as he went to the trunk of the rental to grab your bags. You followed, smiling ear to ear. “If I hadn’t been driving, some of that would be on SnapChat right now.”

The two of you had just listened to the music for a while before it became carpool karaoke. And super fun, no judgment, no holds barred carpool karaoke, at that. Forgotten lyrics, cracked voices and all. He was so much more chill than you had originally guessed. You could just be you around him and he could just be him.

Right in that half hour space between the first sing along and arrival at the hotel, all pretense and unease left the two of you. It was nice. Easy. Relaxing. Wonderful.
***
“Which side of the bed do you usually sleep on?” He asked as you laid your stuff by the couch.

“The middle side, Reigns. I’m single,” you laughed.

“I’m serious,” he smiled. “I don’t have a preferred side. You can pick which one you want.”

“Wait,” you said as your mind came to a full stop. “Are we sharing the bed?”

“Do you see another bed?” He asked, quirking his eyebrow.

“There’s a couch right here,” you gestured to said couch. 'Couch.’ 'I will have couch.’ 'I will sleep couch.’ 'Couch.’ Your Brain was being really goddam helpful in this terrifying, yet thrilling, moment of confusion and realization.

“There’s a bed right here,” Roman gestured to said bed. You felt your knees go weak again. This man had some sort of power of you, and you knew what it was before, but now it was different.

Before it was muscles, and hair, and voice, and smile, and eyes. Now it was Roman. All of him, all at once.

“You want to sleep next to me? In the bed?” You asked, as he stepped over to you.

His hands gently found purchase on your shoulders, and you sighed at the touch. His broad palms and strong fingers felt right on you.

“I want to do more than that,” he spoke quietly. “In the bed.” You felt heat radiate from your whole body, but your analytical mind needed more than your body did.

“Are you flirting with me?” You asked, looking up at him.

“You can stop with the jokes now, y/n,” he chuckled. You simply shook your head. His soulful brown eyes changed in an instant. “It’s not a joke?”

“I- No? It’s not a joke. I’m not used to- People like you and people like me- We don’t…” you tried to explain yourself.

“People like me?” He said, looking a bit lost. Kind of sad actually. You had to make this better, and quick. So you just started blurting things.

“You’re very attractive. You’re like super-duper handsome, and I’m just me. I know you like me. Like who I am inside, and stuff.” Way to be articulate, you scolded yourself sarcastically. “But I’m not top notch, super-duper, crazy attractive like you. So, I guess, I just thought I was attracted to you and it wasn’t mutual. What I mean is- When I said 'people like you’ I didn’t mean vain or shallow or superficial, I mean very very very VERY pretty people. And people like that aren’t usually attracted to people like me. That’s all I meant.” You stood in silence for a moment aghast that all of that had just spilled out of you.

“Holy shit,” Roman said, putting his hands on your upper arms in mock support. “Breathe.”

“You got it,” you nodded quickly.

“To answer your question from before, yes. I have been flirting with you tonight. Basically since you started working for the company, I’ve been flirting with you,” he explained. “At first it was because of how you look, but then it was because of who you are. I like you. A lot.”

“Score,” you said blankly, making him laugh again.

“It’s stuff like that. These little things you do that just fucking tickle me. You’re a goofball. You’re light hearted. You like to make people laugh. You’re genuine and humble and smart.” The compliments didn’t stop and you did your best to just take all of it in. You knew it would be rude to interrupt him. “There are lots of very, very pretty people in this world. You included.” You blushed and look away at that, biting your lip to keep protests at bay. He continued.

“But do you know how many times I’ve met a pretty person who was bright and funny and sweet?” He asked you, and you looked at him again. He was very serious right now. Your instinct was to make a joke, but you knew what he wanted you to say, so you said it.

“No.”

“Just once,” he said, brushing your hair off your forehead. “Just you.”

You didn’t know what to say. What did someone say after hearing something like that? You supposed… thank you.

You inched closer to him.

'Thank you for seeing me.’ You thought.

He leaned down to you.

'Thank you for getting to know me.’ Your heart sang.

You closed your eyes.

“Thank you for telling me,” you whispered just as your lips met. The kiss was soft, but strong. Emotions flooded your whole body as his arms wrapped around it. As your lips parted, you opened your eyes and saw he was staring at you.

“You’re welcome.” He smiled, resting his forehead on yours as you embraced.

“But, Roman,” you said as your brain became capable of thought again. “You know two people like that. There’s another person you know that’s gorgeous and smart and silly and kind,” you said, wrapping your fingers around a lock of his hair. “It’s you.” You kissed his cheek. “It’s you too, babe.”

He leaned back and smiled at you, shaking his head. “It’s just like you to say something like that.”

“Just say thank you and take the compliment,” you smiled, taking his lips again in a quick, sweet kiss. “Can’t be humble all the time, Reigns.”

“You’re right,” he smiled at you deviously. “Now let me brag about what I can do to you, so I can back it up later.”

You laughed, but quieted quickly so you could listen. Reigns was flirting with you and you didn’t want to miss a second.

A/N: Thanks again.

secrets of the ostentatious | final

pairing: junmyeon x reader, chanyeol x reader
genre: sugar daddy!au, angst, fluff
summary: money, diamonds, gowns, were they really worth it when they served as a facade to the strict system corrupted by secrets and lies?

p.1 / pt.2 / pt.3 / pt.4

A/N: its kinda really jumpy, i hope you all @ me for this :))))) no one is being put out of their misery even if it is the end NOT PROOFREAD idk why i even say that everyone knows it at this point

Originally posted by daenso

Forcing the door open, Junmyeon jumped out and ran the short distance to your stumbling figure. His arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you away from the chaos ensuing inside the building. Screams of fear erupted which he assumed was people finally realising the once safe building was littered by men who didn’t fear anyone.

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you. Let’s get you out of here,” His voice was soft, shaking with sheer panic. Your breathing was uneven, shallow. Everything seemed to be a blur, a lie. The weight of your body seemed too much frail knees but with each wavering step, Junmyeon caught you. Keeping you safe.

Whispering words of comfort, he opened the car door. Placing his hand over your head, he slowly guided you in before moving around your body to pull at your seatbelt. His cologne surrounded you, your frequent breaths forcing it into your airway. Memories of the last time you had been this close slowly pushed their way to your mind. What if he didn’t end things. Would Chanyeol still be alive? 

You felt too numb to even cry. Too numb to feel the burning pain surrounding your heavy heart.

Junmyeon closed your door. Walking around to the other side he muttered words of frustration to himself. His tie suddenly felt constricting and once he sat in his seat and closed the door, he pulled at it roughly in anger.

He wouldn’t have forgiven himself if something had happened to you.


You silently followed Junmyeon through the doorway and into his large apartment. Blindly you stayed close to his back

Who knew a person so empty could feel so heavy. You didn’t know what to think or to feel. You felt as if your mind was burning from a vast array of thoughts and questions. There was too much to ask about, too much to feel, too much to understand but in this moment all you needed was comfort. Your only desire was to be wrapped in warm arms and taken away from this draining nightmare. 

Hurried footsteps added to the sound of yours and Junmyeon’s before they shifted to a stop. Junmyeon kept walking with his head hung low.

“Thank God, she’s safe.” A relieved voice spoke.

Your stinging, red eyes immediately found the source of the voice.

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Enchanted

“Tell me, Jimin, do you believe in magic?”

↠smutish? suggestive content↞

word count: 2.8k

↠ series: 2 | 3 |  ↞


It was a Wednesday night and honestly, Jimin wanted to know whose idea it was to throw a party on a fucking Wednesday night. He didn’t mind going to parties once in awhile, but going on a school night was pushing it a bit. He could have been sitting on his sofa watching reruns of Bizarre Foods or maybe even in bed just about ready to knock out, but here he was.

 Jimin wasn’t sure how, but Namjoon had convinced him to come out that night; he was pretty sure he lost Namjoon in the sea of people as soon as he walked through the first floor.

Fucking hell, Namjoon. Jimin took a long sip out of his coke and whiskey concoction already debating on when to walk out the door.

 “Jimin?!”

The sweetest voice called out to him and he looked up to find you looking as shocked as ever. Jimin couldn’t control his face muscles as his jaw slightly hung open at the sight of you in the cutest little red dress.

He was so used to seeing you in large t-shirts or sweaters that were paired with shorts or ripped jeans, but this was a sight that he had to drink in. The dress wasn’t anything tight, it was seductive in the most casual way. The hem of the dress stopped just above mid-thigh, thin spaghetti straps hugged your slim shoulders and the neckline dipped low enough to where just the right amount of cleavage was exposed. The heels you wore just made your legs look even more amazing than when you wore your typical sandals or faded black converse shoes.

 Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to stay a little longer.

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1 A.M Slushies

The lid squeaked under the faucet as it shot mounds of blue slushie into the large plastic cup. Once it weighed down Richie’s hand enough, he dragged it to the neighboring flavor and pulled the handle to mix them. He didn’t let go until the red started to spill over the dome lid, reflecting the neon lights above him. He smiled and stabbed a straw through it and slurped it down. From Behind him, Beverly jabbed her straw through the wrapper and stuck it into her piña colada flavored slushie. He slowed down in the candy aisle and waited for her to catch up as she glanced at the newly stocked fridges. 

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2

Prompt: Please please please do a sequel where reader does give Chekov is exam and Chekov is being a little shit the whole time, being suggestive and stuff lol. I would love to read it!!

Warnings: Suggestive language. Kisses, Chekov is a little shit

Pairings: Chekov/Reader

A/N: Spiritual successor to Getting Caught making out with Chekov, But could be read alone. Also, SMUTTY PART THREE

Word Count: 1444

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How Far We've Come

Originally posted by kaliforhnia-dreaming

Warnings: swearing, implications of smut, kissing (but not a warning), fluff [you may need tissues. idk.]

A/N: I got inspired after watching the video of Chris D’Elia Roasts Dylan O’Brien. In addition to stand up comedy, watch anything by Brent Morin. I guarantee he will make you laugh.


You decided it was time for a night all about you. None of your girl-friends, not that you had any, and no half-drunk guys trying to get into your pants. A single lady is what you were. Plus, your boyfriend just broke up with you, so you needed to be cheered up.

Your tired fingers flew across the keyboard looking for some sort of comedy ‘club’ per se. The results on google didn’t interest you while you scrolled, until you reached The Laugh Factory. Something in your mind liked the name, so you looked up the address and when the show would be. It seemed like a casual thing, so you didn’t need to really dress up or anything.


You walked through the doors of the ‘comedy club’ and music boomed through the speakers while time was passing before the comedian came out. You found a nice seat in the back, where it was dark enough so the comedian hopefully wouldn’t pick on you. There was a group of guys, around the age of seventeen, sitting a couple of rows in front of you. They looked nice, but you knew that they were going to be roasted during the show.

The time flew by while you sat there on your phone, and the comedian soon came out. The audience clapped loudly for him as he stepped up to the mic. He was introduced as Chris D’Elia. “What’s up, guys? You guys look like you’re held captive or some shit.” The audience laughed at the man who was in his mid-30s. “He’s fucking, come on be funny, dude. Let’s do this!” was his impression of the audience’s energy.

Chris went on and practically made the audience die of laughter before changing the topic. “What the fuck am I-? I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about, but it’s fun, so fuck it.” The audience laughed, since he was talking about syndromes and dinosaurs. 

The boys in front of you were laughing so hard, he had to point it out. “Your fucking a giggle puss. That’s what that motherfucker is right there… Are you high? You’re high as shit, huh?” Of course, you were laughing extremely hard, but you kind of felt bad for the kid in front of you. He kept making fun of the kid and finally asked him, “What’s you’re name, bro?”

To you, his answer was barely audible, but the comedian could hear his response. “Dylan.”

Chris let out a chuckle. “Dylan, of course it is, man. Fuck, Dylan, dude.” The audience roared with laughter as Chris picked on the lanky eighteen year old, then he went off to make fun of Dylan some more. “What’s your last name? Uh, dudeicle. My name’s fucking Dylan Dudeicle, bro. Dylan Dudeicle, avenger of fucking weed.” Obviously it was all a joke, and everyone was laughing-even Dylan, but you were a little embarrassed for him. Chris went on to make fun of Dylan’s friends and everyone got a kick out of it.

After the show had ended, you decided that maybe it was time for a new relationship. You confidently walked up to Dylan and place your hand on his bicep. “You’re Dylan, right?”

He looked at you and gulped thickly. His head started to bob up and down, which you took as a yes. You stuck your hand out for him to shake. “Y/N.”

He gladly accepted as he opened his mouth. “Hey, I’m Dylan. Wait, you already knew that.” You and his friends chuckled at Dylan’s nervous state.

“Yeah, anyway, I just wanted to say that you’re a good sport for letting him mock you like that.”

He smiled. “Well, I would’ve looked stupid if I got up and left, so…” he trailed off. You wanted this guy alone and his friends stayed right behind you. 

“Does your posse always wait for you?”

He turned around to look at his friends, giving them the stare that says, “Go away. There’s a pretty girl that is talking to me. Leave me alone with her!” but they obviously did nothing about it. “Oh, yeah. They’re kind of my ride for the night.”

Because they didn’t leave, you leaned up to Dylan’s ear and seductively whispered, “Well, I can always take you back to my place…if you’re up for it.”

Dylan quickly turned to his friends with a flushed face. “Uh, you know what? You can go home without me. I’ll catch a cab or something.” His friends walked away, muttering ‘okays’ and ‘see you tomorrows’.

You took his hand and led him out of the club, to your car. When you reached your car, you quickly unlocked it and both jumped in, eager to see what was going to happen next.

The car ride was pretty much a game of twenty questions; favorite color, favorite food, favorite sport & team, etc., the usual. You were taking a guy back to your house, which was very unusual for you to do. You were usually a strings attached person.

You pulled up to the driveway and Dylan opened his door, quick enough where he could come around and open yours. You muttered a thank you as you took each other’s hand and you led him to the front door. Your hands fiddled with the keychain on your car keys, trying to find your house key. Luckily they did, and you opened the door, leading Dylan and yourself inside.

Dylan was a little confused why you weren’t worried about your parents waking up. You read his mind as you answered his unspoken question. “My parents are on a business trip for a couple months, so the house is all mine.” Dylan let out a low groan as you two walked up the steps to get to your bedroom.

You reached for the door knob and slowly turned it, just to bug Dylan a bit. He rushed you in and slammed the door, leaving a loud slam as a result. His lips immediately smashed into yours. They molded together like they were two souls that were just reunited. After his tongue had slowly slipped into your mouth, you pulled away to nip at his neck. Your plump and swollen lips left purple bruises all over the pale skin of Dylan’s neck. “I watched you walk into the club. You looked so beautiful, and when you came up to me at the end of the show, it turned me on that a girl had the confidence to talk to me.” You smiled affectionately against his neck as he continued to talk. “And then when you whispered in my ear that you wanted to take me home with you,…oh!” Dylan let out a loud moan as you found his sweet spot. “…it was like you had some type of control over me.” 

You suddenly pulled away, Dylan whining at the loss of pleasure as you pushed his on your bed. He let a smirk creep onto his face. “Baby girl, are you sure about this?”

You swooped down and caught his lips in a bruising kiss. “Absolutely. I could do this all night,” you smirked.

Dylan let out a groan and you started to remove your clothes for a very eventful night.


Seven years later, and you and Dylan were still together. You both had started dating after that night after the comedy show. 

You had found out a week later that your parents died while on their trip, and Dylan was there to hold you through it all.

Dylan had started Teen Wolf filming at the end of 2010 and so he loved taking you to set. You two were the couple that fought like a married couple, talked like best friends, flirted like lovers and protected like siblings. You two were what they called ‘meant to be’. Immediately, you became like family to the Teen Wolf cast and you loved that you stuck with Dylan through all of his roles.

Today was the day, though. The day you two were officially meant to be, soulmates, lovers, and best friends for life. The day was hassle-free so far. Holland, Shelley, and Arden were in your room as you got ready for the big day. “Dylan won’t be able to speak after he sees you,” Holland said.

“Well, he’s gonna have to if he wants to make this official,” you joked. The girls giggles with you as they did your hair and makeup and made sure nothing went wrong.

Posey stopped by the room to let you all know that they were ready for you. You let out a deep breath as you walked out of the room in your beautiful wedding gown and white converse. There was no way in hell you were walking in heels.

When you reached your destination, you were the last to arrive. You reached for Dylan’s dad who was going to walk you down the aisle. He looked at your before speaking. “You make Dylan so happy. I’m glad to finally, and officially, call you my daughter.”

You had to hold in all of your tears that were threatening to release themselves from the sweet comment. The music started playing and the doors opened, allowing the bridesmaids and groomsmen to elegantly spill from behind the doors.

After Holland [the man of honor] and Posey [the best man] walked out, the doors shut, waiting for the cue to re-open.

When the cue was given, the piano version of A Thousand Years by Christina Perri played as you walked out. Dylan looked up at you, and you could tell that there were tears in his eyes, as well as yours. His dad walked you to the end of the aisle and kissed you on the cheek, before letting you go. Dylan looked at you and whispered, “You look beautiful.” You responded by saying thank you and saying how handsome he looked. The man that was going to marry the both of you cleared his throat before speaking. “Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses, to join Dylan O’Brien and Y/N Y/L/N in matrimony commended to be honorable among all; and therefore is not to be entered into lightly but reverently, passionately, lovingly and solemnly. Into this - these two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together - let them speak now or forever hold their peace.”

A wide smile was placed on the both of your lips. The silence was way too long for you to handle. “Okay, now repeat after me: I, Y/N Y/L/N, take you Dylan O’Brien, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.”

You took a deep breath. “ I, Y/N Y/L/N, take you Dylan O’Brien, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.”

He turned to Dylan. “Repeat after me:  I, Dylan O’Brien, take you Y/N Y/L/N, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.”

Dylan didn’t take anytime to pause as he was waiting for the painful part to be over. “I, Dylan O’Brien, take you Y/N Y/L/N, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.”

“Now, may we have the rings?” The rings were placed in your hands while you were told what to repeat. “I, Y/N Y/L/N, give you, Dylan O’Brien, this ring as an eternal symbol of my love and commitment to you.”

“I, Dylan O’Brien, give you, Y/N Y/L/N, this ring as an eternal symbol of my love and commitment to you.”

“By the power vested in me by the State of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”

Dylan leaned forward and captured your lips in his as both of your families applauded the both of you. “Hey, Mr. O’Brien.”

“Hey, Mrs. O’Brien. You happy?”

“More than ever, Dylan. I love you. I love you so much.”

“I love you to, baby.” He pulled you into a hug because you didn’t want to be making out in front of the both of your families. “Remember when we first met?” You nodded, while your neck was buried in the crook of his neck. “Think about it. Look how far we’ve come.”

Part 2?

Alternate Methods. [Smut]

A;N: So without further ado here is the first smut of 2017 from yours truly. I wouldn’t have had the idea if not for the help of the lovely @writing-obrien She helped me so much with this! Also shoutout to my hoes and @we-are-like-a-timebomb for being there to tell me it’s not shit. Love you guys. Enjoy! xoxo

Pairing: StilesStilinskixReader

Author: thelittlestkitsune

Warnings: Smut.

Word count: 7,071

Listen to me.

Originally posted by procrastinationoutlet

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Just Lounging

Hello, Love bugs!

Phil X Fem Reader

Warnings- smut, good god smut

I’m back bitches. prepare for a full week of fic’s.

A Phil smut where you guys are in the living room watching a movie with Dan but stuffs doing with you and Phil under a blanket. Then dan finally leaves but then comes back at the end when you cum making it awkward would be wonderful :) -anon


It was movie night in the flat which meant it was cuddle night for Phil and yourself. It was Phi’s turn to pick the movie this evening so he went with the new classic La La Land. Dan and yourself tried to talk him out of it as both of you really didn’t need to be singing the songs for the next two weeks but Phil was persistent. So here the three of you were watching Ryan and John start a little band together. Phil pulled you closer to his chest to not only steal more of the blanket but also for his other motives. Phil had snuck his hand already to your thigh letting it rest there lazily drawing little circles. At first, the gesture brought goose bumps to your skin but after a while, it became more of a comfort thing. Looking up at Phil you gave him a little smirk as he gave you a kiss on your nose.

“Want to know some fun facts about La La Land?” Phil said letting his fingers run further up your leg than usual.

“Not particularly. No offence Philly but your fun facts can be a bit, drab.” You gave Phil a little giggle as he scrunched his face in displeasure. “I’m just pulling on your chain. Tell me your fun facts.” Phil made another face at you as he made a motion if zipping his lips shut. “Oh, come on now. We both know if anyone can’t handle telling fun facts it’s you. Out with-it man!” Phil shook his head leaving you no choice but to crawl onto his lap to face him.

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Are you made of copper and tellurium...?

#SanversWeek Day Two: Nerd Girlfriends.

More SMUT FOR YOUR READING PLEASURE. And there will be more tomorrow hehe.

@404artnotfound is literally beta goals holy fuck.

[Read on AO3]


It starts fairly innocently. The gang is together at the bar, shooting pool and drinking together after a big win against Cadmus. Maggie had been looking at her through hooded eyes all night, and it’s starting to rile Alex up until…

“Are you made of Copper and Tellurium?” Maggie drawls in her ear when the rest of the group gets distracted by Lena declaring in slight tipsiness that she would build Kara a soft serve machine in her apartment.

Alex groans, dropping her head to the table heavily and waiting for her ridiculous girlfriend to continue.

“Because you are Cu-Te.”

“You’re gonna have to try harder than that, Sawyer.” Alex mutters, lifting her head to squint at Maggie. She looks far too proud of herself at the line, sliding closer to Alex in the booth and placing a dangerous hand just a little too high on her thigh.

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