decaying beds

i fucking hate the way you look at me now. it’s like you don’t even recognize me anymore and maybe you’re not wrong for that, because after you left i reinvented myself completely. the best part of me was always you and i ripped that straight out. i broke my own ribs at the attempt of tearing my heart out. i bruised my knuckles on the wall whenever i saw you kissing her and i lost myself for a while. i was still the me that was wrapped around your finger; the one you got off on. and then i walked away one day and with shaky hands, i sanded down my bones, creating a sturdy structure. no longer a broken one. i skinned myself alive and i bled myself dry. and then the next morning i woke up from my bed of decay and painted on a new smile. i became someone new. i became someone who’s bones you didn’t break, someone who’s heart you didn’t touch, someone’s who’s skin you no longer have fingerprints etched into, and someone who’s lips no longer remember what it feels like to be against yours and i’m okay with that. i’m a new me, and i hope the old you, the one i fell for, has it in him to be proud of me.

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“I once knew a girl who was nothing like me. She was passionate, optimistic, and always looked toward the future. But she was too much for my world, so I had to kill her. Yet I had never killed before, so I didn’t know how to do it right. I hurt her so bad that she didn’t know she’d been hurt. She spent a week going about her life as normal although she was rotting from the inside out. But about a week later, I realized that I was, in fact, talking to a dead person. Her passion had turned to apathy and her once-bright eyes remained closed to protect her from a world that no longer welcomed her. Her body, which had been destroyed by the touch of too many men, stayed in bed decaying as the day turned to night (but the night never seemed to end). I knew that killing her was a mistake from the moment I laid hands on her but I can’t take it back. She’s gone and I am here.”

Wanted to try and doodle on drawpile… (didn’t host one…just used it to draw)

So I decided to try my hand at DecaySans (aka @little-noko ) with lineless color!


Now I feel super tired from waking up early this morning after staying up so late last night…oops…

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Random photos for the day–

This abandoned house is over in Gudger, Tennessee. I won’t say where exactly in Gudger because it’s technically on someone’s property, but we were given permission to go inside by the landowner. The house was, by all means, extremely modest. It was almost literally a shack with a back porch attached to it. It had one living room, a small kitchen, a back porch, and one bedroom. It did not have a bathroom. We didn’t see an outhouse, but it was probably torn down a long time ago. The house had a well that stood next to the porch. The well was very deep and didn’t have a covering over it. The first half of it was reinforced with concrete while the rest was made of packed red clay. Indeed, this place was just as bare bones as you could get. We didn’t find any evidence of it having electricity at some point. The home was partially furnished, with the living room still having your basic things in it(coffee table, chairs, recliner). In the back part of the house was this creepy bedroom with an ungodly paint scheme.

The walls were this deep rust red. Some of the paint had peeled off, revealing old, dried newspapers. Back in the late 1800s to early 1900s, this was a common practice, to re-purpose old newspapers for use as wallpaper. Sometimes, the newspapers would be painted over, as it was here. I couldn’t tell what the dates were, as the contents had mostly faded. Up against the wall, right in front of the doorway, was this bed. Oh god, that bed. It was covered in stained, ripped sheets. There were rat droppings all over it. Something didn’t seem right about it. In some traditions, including Appalachian, if someone had died in a bed, that bed is usually left behind in the deceased’s house or it’s burned outright. It’s believed that the spirit of the deceased is attached to the bed. Bringing the bed into another house could potentially cause problems, as the spirit of the deceased may come along. I’m not sure if this was someone’s sick bed or not. There are a handful of reasons why furniture is left behind in an abandoned house–1.) The house was foreclosed on, 2.) the family was forced to evacuate due to a natural disaster and they could not take very much with them, 3.) the family was unable to take bigger items with them because they did not have the resources to help them move everything, and 4.) the home owner is deceased and the family has not yet decided on the fate of their former home. Sadly, these decisions often take years to make due to the legal mumbo jumbo involved By then, it’s usually too late.

Not long for this world
1200 Bedford Ave. Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn, NY, 11216

(I photographed the Grace Baptist Church  about a year ago and the building still seemed active. Today the whole block appears slated for demolition.)

No shit dragons probably don’t speak in a human/Earth accent but when there’s a post going around with speech patterns and the Asian-based breed is given a “formal European-type accent” because they’re regal looking…..

That is irritating.

Especially since Asian culture is always bastardized for the aesthetics but Asian accents and people in general are always mocked. “U wan da oran chiggen?” C'MON. There’s always an association that Asian accents when spoken in English are “ugly”, and fuck you.

EUROPE IS NOT THE DEFAULT FOR FORMAL AND REGAL/ROYALTY.