I love the phrase “You will be found.” I just adore it. It isn’t, “Someone will find you.” It doesn’t focus on the other, it focuses on you. Because the someone could be anyone. They could be a parent, a friend, a teacher, a colleague, a concept (like art, writing, music), or even your own self. No matter who or what that someone or something is, you are still the focus. People will help you along the way, but ultimately, you will get better, you will live another day, you will grow and flourish and blossom. You will be found.
TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT TONY WINNER BEN PLATT
me looking at the person i like: i am enamored even with the way your fingers move, with the way the light plays on your skin, with your freckles and your smile and your laughter, with your voice, with how you get around the things you love, with your humor,
I love that in Dear Evan Hansen, you can quote a verse from a song and it sounds so poetic and emotional and then you can go to another song and find gems such as “smoking drugs” and “I’m sending pictures of the most amazing trees”
“"oh dear evan hansen’s lighting and set design is so simple omg!1!!!”“ like?? bitch where ?? the lighting and set design of dear evan hansen is one of the most complicated, intricate, and innovative that has ever been on broadway.
TW: EVEN SMUTTIER THAN THE LAST ONE, swearing, a whole lot of innuendos
Words: 1,700 ish
Disclaimer: I may edit this a tiny bit more in the future. But enjoy, kiddos!
“Oh here they come,” Alanna groaned to the rest
of your friends, spotting you and Connor walking towards the lunch table.
“Wow, and a whole new gallery of hickeys to go along with it!” Jared nodded
towards the faint purple bruises on Connor’s neck.
“Ugh, seriously, can we stop talking about this? He’s my brother. The last
thing I want to think about is him… doing it,” Zoe basically cringed at her
last words. She folded up her half eaten sandwich, clearly having a loss of
You and Connor sat down, smiling. Your
boyfriend slung his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side.
“What were you guys talking about?” You asked curiously.
“Oh, just how you and Connor can’t keep it in your goddamn pants,” Jared
“I mean, I’ve never heard Y/N complain-“
Zoe groaned. “Okay, that’s all I can take.
Come on, Evan, let’s go eat outside,” she stood up and the blue boy followed.
His ears were pink just from listening to the conversation.
“See? Even tree-nut over there can’t be around
you two,” Jared remarked.
“What the hell do you mean, Kleinman?” Connor
rolled his eyes.
“I MEAN that we all know how much you guys fuck. My god, look at you; your neck
could be a Picasso sunrise!” Jared laughed in between his words. Connor’s hand
shot up to his neck immediately, in attempt to hide them.
“Every time we get together, you guys always leave
early to have sex,” Alanna pointed out, taking a bite of a baby carrot.
“Do not! When was the last time we did that?”
You looked at Alanna with disbelief.
“Literally last week we watched Schindler’s List at my house, and you
sucked Connor off in the bathroom,” Alanna stated.
Your face turned bright red. Connor’s ears
changed colour like a chameleon to match.
“Who the fuck gets turned on by dead Jews? You
guys are messed up,” Jared joked.
You rolled your head back and groaned. “Ugh,
you guys are exaggerating! We don’t do it that often.”
Alanna and Jared bounced back and forth.
“Last week. Schindler’s List.”
“Week before that, we went to the arcade. You guys left and had sex at Y/N’s
“Week before that, we
all went out to eat and you guys dashed before dessert came.”
“Ok, ok! I get it. We
have a lot of sex. But what’s wrong with that?” Connor let out an annoyed sigh.
“There’s nothing wrong
with it, scientifically speaking, but it’s just… annoying,” Alanna concluded.
“Yeah, I bet you two
couldn’t go a week without having sex.” Jared took a sip of his juice box,
giving you both a judgemental glare above the rim of his glasses.
“You’re on,” you shook
his hand. Connor choked on his own spit, eyes growing wide.
“Wait, babe, are you
Murphy?” Jared spoke as he reached out his hands to shake yours.
Connor gulped, looking
between the two of you. “Ok. Fine,” he finally sighed.
Alanna checked her
watch, “ok, so this time in exactly a week, you guys cannot have ANY sexual
intercourse. That includes anything in sexual nature.”
You nodded with a
confident smirk on your face.
Two days have already passed, and it’s been a lot harder than
you thought. You have been so used to having little quickies and long nights
with Connor, that you felt… frustrated. It was almost as if your nerves were
just asking to be trampled on. Even worse, Connor was getting antsy.
You were at his house, in an attempt to study. But he
couldn’t sit still. He was full of energy and in a pissed off mood.
“Connor, just come sit down,” you pinched the bridge of your
nose with your fingers.
“I can’t fucking sit down. I can’t just sit, I-I need
something,” he ran his hand through his long hair, pulling at the roots.
Connor had quit smoking after you two started having sex.
When he smoked weed, he felt a release of stress. Then when he became intimate
with you, he didn’t need that other outlet. Of course, you were over-the-moon
when he told you that he had stopped smoking. And the sex wasn’t too bad
either. You stood up from his bed, walking over to him and placed your hand on
“Look, I get that this is all a shitty bet made by Kleinman,
but we have to prove to ourselves that this relationship is more than just
sex,” you gave him an endearing look, searching his eyes.
Connor dropped his hands to his sides, nodding. “Yeah. You’re
right,” he sighed softly.
The two of you were
laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling.
“Do you remember that time, we were on a date, and you
laughed so hard that soda came out of your nose?” Connor teases with a grin.
“Oh don’t remind me,”
“I think that’s when I fell in love with you. I mean, who
wouldn’t want a girl who has Dr.Pepper for snot?” He tickled your side softly.
“Ok, seriously, shut up. Remember the time you peed yourself
in second grade? Yeah, don’t start shit, Murphy.” You jokingly growled back
with a laugh.
The two of you continued to joke and share the odd memory or
two. You reminisced on embarrassing moments, your firsts, and plans for the
future. It had been so long since you two had just sat down spoke to each
other. It felt… nice.
Connor must have been thinking the same thing,
because when you looked to your right, he was looking right at you. There was
something in his eyes that you hadn’t seen in a very long time. It was the look
of genuine care and love. His pupils were enlarged and his eyebrows were
relaxed. His mind looked like it was put at ease with something other than physical
As much as you hated to admit it, Jared might have
actually done something useful.
Time wore on and your patience grew both thick and
thin. A week without sex was a week full of love and frustration. You and
Connor took the extra time you had to get to know each other. But your time
alone was the most frustrating. 3 days into the week, he had tried to sext you.
Sending you teasing messages and pictures of himself that were
not-safe-for-work. By the fourth day, he couldn’t keep his hands off of you.
When you sat near each other, his hand would run up your leg and be hiked
dangerously north. By the fifth day, Connor’s eyes were glued to your neck. He
stared at the skin that resembled a blank canvas. He wanted to litter it with
bruises created by his lips. He wanted to make sure that everyone knew you were
his. And by the sixth day, you couldn’t
take it anymore.
Connor growled as he shoved you into his room,
slamming the door closed. You attacked his lips, pressing so hard that he
almost lost balance. Connor yanked your jacket off of your arms, throwing it on
the floor. The zipper hit the floor, making a loud noise. But you didn’t care.
Every sensation that wasn’t caused by Connor – faded into white noise.
He quickly grabbed your thighs, throwing you onto
his double bed. He tucked his head in your neck, biting and finally creating a
piece of art that couldn’t be graded. His hands quickly moved under your shirt,
grabbing onto your breasts roughly.
“God, I fucking missed these,” he breathed out
“Connor, w-what about your parents? W-What about
Zoe?” you whispered in between hot breaths.
His hands grabbed your thighs and pulled them apart
roughly, slipping his torso between them. “At work. I don’t fucking care about
Zoe,” he grumbled against your skin.
You tipped your head backwards, letting your
boyfriend catch up on all the missed time. Every tick, emotion, or outlet he
needed was now all in for your pleasure. His anger built up from the week is
pushed onto his muscles: carrying out the pleasure that he dedicates to you.
Connor sat on his knees. Stripping off his shirt, he
presented the pale torso that you know all-too-well. You placed your hand on
the line of hair beneath his belly button. You wanted to admire his beauty, but
Connor had other plans. He attached his lips to yours and the two of you
continued to remove your clothes, throwing them to the side of his bedroom.
His kisses trailed down your bare body. His
movements resembled a waterfall, graceful and with a plan. He got dangerously
close to where you wanted him the most. Slipping under the covers, he threw
your legs onto his shoulders, burying his face in your thighs. He kissed up
them, his nose nuzzling into the soft skin.
“I’m so lucky. So goddamn lucky,” he murmured.
You sucked in your breath, leaning onto your elbows
as you watched his every move.
Connor kissed up your legs, and placed a soft kiss
to your core. You hissed in delight, mouth hanging agape. Connor licked a
single stride, smirking as you squirmed beneath his touch. He alternated
between his tongue and fingertips, making sure to give you his undivided
“You’re such a pretty girl, so so pretty,” he
murmured against your heat.
You grabbed onto his locks, throwing your head back
with your eyes closed. You could feel him humming the tune to your favourite
song. You felt so close to the brim and then he pulled away.
Whining, you looked at him. Usually, he would give
you 2-3 orgasms a night. But he was too eager to finish what he started.
Throwing open his bedside drawer, he reached for a condom and slipped it on.
“Ride me,” he spoke quickly. You nodded and
straddled him. You slipped him into you and rested your forehead against his.
Zoe walked through the front door of her house. Her
mom and dad were at work, but had texted her to ask Connor what he wanted for
dinner. Running upstairs, she was already dialing the number to her favourite
She swung his bedroom door open, “Hey Connor, what
do you want for- OH DEAR GOD.”