dear evan hansen musical

The Rules

~Jared Kleinman x Reader~

     You and Jared Kleinman were best friends. You had been best friends since you were children, and you had a very large set of rules to accompany your friendship. One rule stood out over all the others though. The rule at the very top, rule number 1.

Rule #1: No falling for each other.

     You had both agreed it was too goddamn cheesy. You also didn’t want to give your mothers the satisfaction. Not to mention that at the time you had originally made these rules, you were only young, so you both thought the opposite gender was gross. As you two grew, so did your list of rules, and so did your knowledge of actual relationships. 

     "Ew! I don’t want to marry you! That’s disgusting. You’re my friend-“ a young (Y/N) scoffed in disgust. Jared nodded his head in agreement "yeah! And you’re not even all that cute-” you shoved him in anger “hey, take it back! I’m adorable!” he let out a teasing laugh “yeah! Like a monkey!” he responded again, causing you to growl in annoyance. “I wouldn’t marry you if you were the last boy on earth!” you shouted at him. He cocked an eyebrow in curiosity "that sounds like a challenge.“ 

     Ever since then you two have had the exact same bet going on. Whoever says I love you in a non-platonic way first loses. At the time, both of you had hoped it would never come to that, but as you got older Jared started to notice that he wasn’t totally opposed to the idea. He also obviously noticed that girls don’t actually have cooties, and he just happened to be best friends with one of the kindest girls in school. 

      People often wondered how you and Jared remained friends. He was so obnoxious, you were so kind. You often kept to yourself, while Jared wasn’t afraid to make stupid comments to people. Little did they all know just how much you two had in common. Your love for video games, your dirty remarks, and even similar senses of humor. You two had gotten along perfectly since you were kids, and Jared was finally starting to notice that now that you two were older. 

     Jared would never admit it to you, but maybe he was getting feelings for his best friend? It was just the stupid little things like how you would smirk in his face after you won at Mario Kart or the way you’d steal his hoodies and dance around so proudly. It was the way you didn’t see his appearance, you only cared about his personality. You sat through his stupid inappropriate jokes and still managed to love Jared as a person. He managed to make you smile. He managed to make you laugh.

God, that managed to give him butterflies.

     "Suck it, Kleinmeme!” you laughed in his face, throwing the controller down onto the bed in victory. He let out a small chuckle, tossing his controller as well and stretching back into his seat. The grin that spread across his face showed that he had let you win, but you would never call him out for that. You grinned over at him, cracking your knuckles. “What are we gonna do next?” he shrugged, “we could watch a movie?”

     "Sure! I’ll make some popcorn,“ you replied sweetly, grinning over at him. You left Jared to pick the movie and jogged downstairs. His house was really big, but that was just because Jared’s family was fairly wealthy. The house felt pretty lonely to Jared when you weren’t around, but he’d never tell you that to your face.

     Your phone dinged just as you hit the kitchen. You peeked down at it to see a photo from Jared on Snapchat. You pressed his nickname "Kleinmeme” hesitantly, waiting for the image to pop up on screen. Suddenly, a photo of Jared holding up a copy of Shrek appeared on your screen. You let out a small laugh, watching as it disappeared. Then, you found yourself pressing it again, and just staring fondly at the photo.

     Something about it made you.. happy. Something about it made you want to see more photos of Jared. It was something about that stupid goofy smile he wore so proudly on his face that made you want to see more, but you shrugged it off and headed towards the popcorn cabinet. You pulled out the popcorn and practically tossed it into the microwave, your mind immediately going back to Jared. 

What could he be doing up there?

     You shrugged it off and waited for the popcorn to finish. You grabbed it out, opening it up, and salting it a bit before heading back upstairs. You knocked once on the door, opening it reluctantly to see Jared dozing off on his bed. Something about seeing him in a state like that. Something about seeing him so quiet and calm.. you liked it. 

      So, maybe you had feelings for your best friend, but you would never tell him that. You weren’t going to be the one to lose this bet, especially over stupid one-sided feelings. You weren’t going to be the one to make your friendship a stupid cheesy wattpad story. You were going to shut your mouth and push Jared off the bed to wake him up.

And that’s exactly what you did.

      Jared let out a loud groan, glaring up at you in anger. Then, his eyes went soft, and he stared at you in admiration. “Ready to watch Shrek?” you asked, jokingly. Little did you know that Jared was almost one hundred percent serious about his movie choice, and only a few minutes later you were sat down watching Shrek. 

      You subconsciously laid your head on Jared’s shoulder, cuddling into his side. Neither of you even seemed to notice. Neither of you noticed that Jared had wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer, and neither of you noticed that you were practically laying on top of Jared. Neither of you seemed to care either.

      That was until the end of the movie. You finally realized what you were doing, and you rushed to scramble off of Jared. The two of you just sat there, staring at each other, confusion written all over your faces. “S-Sorry, I’ve been feeling.. o-off,” you stuttered out in retaliation. Jared let out an awkward laugh “y-yeah, you should take a walk through my head-" 

      "Look, I have something to tell you-” Jared said. Both of your faces went pink as you stared confused at each other. So, you two were a little more similar than you thought. You took a deep breath, preparing to put out what you were going to say. You finally managed to work up the courage, and then you blurted it out.

“I love you, okay?”

      You both quickly snapped your mouths shut, your eyes locking onto each other. Jared’s eyes went soft as he saw yours welling with tears. He came forward, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest. You leaned your head against him, sobbing quietly. “I broke the rules, I lost the bet, I ruined everything-” you whined against him. Jared let out a quiet sigh “(Y/N), you didn’t ruin anything. I ruined it.. a long time ago.." 

      You peeked up at him, wiping your eyes reluctantly. "Huh?” he nodded “y-yeah, I’ve.. loved you.. for a while. I didn’t want to say it because I didn’t want to ruin things-” he reassured quietly. Before you knew it, you two were leaning closer, and just before your lips connected-

      “This is going to make us some stupid cheesy romance story, you know that right?” you asked curiously. Jared rolled his eyes, glaring down at you. “I really don’t care-” he replied sarcastically before pressing his lips to yours. The kiss was far from perfect, but it was perfect because it was with Jared.

      When you pulled away, his glasses were messed up from being pressed against your face. You let out a small giggle, staring at him lovingly. Jared reached up and fixed his glasses, laying back on his bed so that the two of you were cuddling and laying. “How cheesy, huh? I fell in love with my best friend. The one person I told myself I wouldn’t fall in love with. The one person I always said was icky and off limits-”

      “Don’t push it!” you growled in anger. Jared cheekily smiled down at you, pecking the top of your head. “It’s not a bad thing, though. You’re the sweetest girl in school, and the prettiest, and the kindest-” he watched your angry scowl slowly turn into a smile. God, that smile. A bright red blush immediately rose to his face. “Does this mean we have to get married now?” you asked, abruptly. 

“Maybe one day." 


okay hear me out

I’ve been listening to these songs 1  2  that were cut from the musical (probably because they made it too long or because they talked about things that were later resumed in other songs) AND I’VE COLLECTED SOME THINGS

We can consider this canon, those are facts that don’t affect the plot and were made by the authors so I’m stuck with it.

1. In this song Cynthia says this: ‘ The missing pills from the medicine cabinet.
The missing kid found passed out in the park.’ so THANKS TO THAT WE NOW KNOW HOW AND WHEN HE DIED. Probably after that first day of school, because he was absent three days after someone found him, he grabbed those ‘missing pills’ and died due to pill overdose.

2. Also in that first song she says he ‘used to love jokes! when he was a little boy? ‘why did the chicken cross the road?’ he had a million answers to that one!’ so, like any cheerful little kid he liked jokes that probably turned to bitter sarcasm with the years. 

3. There’s this other song in which Cynthia says ‘ Saw the counselors and the clinics
And the cures a mother tries
Cause maybe they could take away that anger in your eyes’ which means they were trying. He probably was on meds and probably was tired of psychiatrists. 

4. Both songs talk about how Cynthia and Connor fought after dinner every dinner and how Connor pulled himself away with every fight:  ‘ We went to battle every evening after dinner
I thought I knew some way that I’d get through to you,
In the bedroom down the hall
We fought a war where no one walked away a winner
Cause every day you pulled a little more away,
Remember?’ and ‘ All that I’ve thought about is how hard he would slam that bedroom door,
Every night after dinner.
Wild-eyed and weary, from all those nights of fighting a war
Where no one was the winner.’

5. Okay this is not about Connor but we now know Connor and Evan had one thing in common. Heidi about Evan: ‘In the bedroom down the hall
I surprised you with that comic book collection
Next Halloween,
I dressed you up like Wolverine,
Remember?’  and Cynthia about Connor  ‘The years of trick or treating, my spiderman, he stood at 4 foot 2, such a happy child.’

THEY BOTH LIKE COMICS!!! so they could have been friends they actually had things in common and thanks to these songs now we know Connor was a human and not a monster. Sure, he was mean and that’s not nice nor forgivable but at least we know (thanks to a little bit of light) that he was  really trying.

I wonder what would have been of them both if they had talked things out, Evan and Connor I mean. I know mental illnesses can not be magically cured by a lover but having someone by your side (as a friend too) really helps, and they were in the same position so maybe they would have been of help for each other.

anyway that’s all

ok BUT

the most important lyrics for me in “Disappear” are “if you never get around to doing some remarkable thing, that doesn’t mean you’re not worth remembering” because like the angsty millenial teen that I am I have this big urge to change the world and make things better and I feel like I’m always pressured by my parents and stuff to get amazing grades then get an amazing degree at college and become a freaking doctor and discover the remedy to cure cancer or some shit, or I look around and see these amazing kids my age changing the world and doing incredible stuff and I can’t help but think: should I be doing something? Am I useless? Shouldn’t I be helping the world? And like freaking Alexander Hamilton I have this feeling that I need a great legacy and I need to be remembered, I need to be WORTH to be remembered.

and no one ever tells you that, you know? No one ever tells you ‘hey, it’s alright if you don’t change the world, you’re worth anyway’. Instead there’s all these people telling you how you need to work incredibly hard to make your dreams come true and do something good for which everyone is going to remember you and if you don’t it means you’re a loser and you haven’t succeeded in life.

so thank you, Benj Pasek, for this. because it’s something no one ever talks about; other way ‘round, actually. and it makes me feel better, like I don’t need to rush for doing some, ya know, remarkable things.

i made a thing

i never said it was a good thing

You Will Be Found (Reprise)
You Will Be Found (Reprise)

In the spirit of sharing songs that didn’t make it onto the cast recording, here is my favorite song from Dear Evan Hansen: You Will Be Found (Reprise). This song takes place right around the climax of the show, so I can understand why it wasn’t included. But regardless, it is still one of my favorites, so I figured I would share! 

DEH teens as things I've heard at high school
  • Jared: I'd never intentionally hurt a baby, but if I'm asked to hold one I'm dropping that shit.
  • Connor: I'm gonna kill myself! And guess what? it's your fault! Just kidding I have depression.
  • Alana: I just bombed that test! Ugh! I got a fucking 97%! Wtf!
  • Evan: This morning my cactus betrayed me.
  • Zoe: *on the phone* if you're not here on time I will break both of your legs… okay, I love you too bye.
guide to singing along to musicals alone

Be More Chill: sing along to ALL the instrumentals.

The Book of Mormon: passionately yell the lines. Then glance out the window awkwardly to make sure no one’s listening. Then resume passionately yelling. Awkwardly go quiet when you hear people passing your door. Repeat.

Dear Evan Hansen: two modes: either humming the songs peacefully to yourself or jumping to your feet, perfectly executing the “Sincerely, Me” dance and also doing all of Ben Platt’s physical tics and waiting for your Tony.

Falsettos: *singing along happily for hundredth time* *abruptly stops* What does that line even mean

Hamilton: there is literally only one way to do it: singing along to all the parts at once and incorporating all the furniture in the room for maximum effect.

The Last Five Years: have a hundred tabs open with the lyrics. It would be one of the easiest musicals to sing along to alone if there weren’t so many goddamn words.

Les Misérables: reconcile yourself to the fact that it’s physically impossible to sing along to all the parts. You gotta just pick a character to sing with. Which is actually fine, because most Les Mis fans have this one character that’s “their” character. And there’s probably only one character who’s in your range, anyway. I mean, you can try to sing along to all the parts, but prepare to get absolutely slaughtered in “One Day More.”

Newsies: whatever you do, just don’t try to dance along. Please.

Next to Normal: *singing along happily for hundredth time* *abruptly stops* Whoa. That line is really clever/weird/sad/beautiful.

The Phantom of the Opera: AHHHHH aaahhhh ahhhh ahhhHHHH SING MY ANGEL OF MUSIC AHHHH ahhhh ahhh hahhhHHHHH sing mY ANGEL ahhh hahhhhhhh ahhhhHHHHH SING FOR MEEEE AHHHHH HHHHHHHH HAHHHHH HHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SING MY ANGEL HHHHHHHH Ś̹̗̝̠̫I͓̻̰̲N̢̠͕G̦̬͟ ̲F̳̫̦̜̭̰O͙̹̪͕̞͉͟R̩̭̦ ̛̠͚̰M̫͍̬͇͈̖EE̖̙̬̳̞̞̹È̖E͈EE͏E̗̞̲͍̰̕E̗̙̬̻̭Ḛ̫͉̗̜ aaʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰ

Rent: ALL the air guitar.

Spring Awakening: *forgets lyric* 🎶 lonely grass purple horses hay bale 🎶

Waitress: wait until “I Didn’t Plan It” and “She Used to Be Mine,” and then let out YEARS of pain and sadness

Wicked: *searches on YouTube* how to belt