1. Please don’t take pictures in places you’re not supposed to take them.
2. Please don’t talk on the phone in places you’re not supposed to talk on the phone.
3. Please don’t yell and shout.
4. Please don’t jump the queue.
5. Please don’t block the way and make space for people to walk past you.
6. Please make sure you’re not hitting people with your bags and umbrellas.
A/N: This was something that literally came to me in a dream. So I decided to write it. This is very self indulgent as this is close to my heart, and these thoughts often go through my head. Once again I have made you my dear reader a rockabilly/quirky style, I wear the style all the time, my favourite shop of all time is Dangerfield (check it out)
I have also made you my dear reader a tourist of sorts, if you are British I apologise. I’m Aussie so it made for sense for me to write it like this.
Summary: You have been staying with the Holland family as an au pair of sorts you also help as an assistant to Dom. You have been with them for a few months or so, with your quirky and unique style and beauty Nikki asks you to be a model for her.
Warnings: Swearing (I’m a pirate), Insecurities, body insecurities, my poor excuse that is my writing (But suffer) Very long.
Ever since you wanted to travel, but lacked the funds for such a long trip your friend suggested you should be an au pair for a family. You agreed.
Never in your wildest dreams did you think Dom Holland was looking for such a person to help him and his family. You both had been talking online, and just meshed with your quirky and bad jokes, plus you were a girl and that was a dead winner for Nikki as she was outnumbered by her husband and sons.
So here you are in England living with the Holland family.
You had been now staying with the Holland family for a few months now, and they saw as a part of the family almost. All the boys loved you, you didn’t see Tom much and when you did the conversations were short and a little awkward on your part. But Dom loved you and so did Nikki, she loved having a girl in the house to basically do girl stuff with. And with your sweet, rockabilly/vintage look that suited you to a T. She just thought you were the sweetest thing with great style, and thought it was outrageous that you were still single.
You got up putting on a fifties style dress, it was a little more simple than other styles of dresses that you wear. It was summer so the light cotton material felt like heaven as it was so light, and breathable. The cotton strap sitting on your shoulders exposing your tattoos, that you were so proud to have on your skin. Your hair falling in silky tousles around your shoulders and back, to anyone you looked so innocent. A flower so beautiful and pure in a world that was full of so much darkness, and that was one of the reasons why Nikki wanted you to model for her, you were precisely what she had been looking for, natural beauty. But she didn’t know how to broach the subject to you.
You walk out making yourself a cup of coffee and deciding to sit outside and soak up the sun before it got too hot, even though you were used to the hotter weather.
“Morning sunshine.’’ You here Dom say, you still laugh at the nickname the family have given you. To you it didn’t make any sense, you weren’t that special in your opinion. In fact in your opinion you didn’t deserve their kindness or hospitality.
“Morning Mr. Holland.’’ You reply with a smile,
“And we’re back to that are we?” Dom asks in a joking tone, from the moment you met the man Dom had asked you not to call him Mr. Holland as it made him feel old. You being the shit stirrer that you are would call him that to mess with him.
“It’s just a bit of fun.’’ You answer with your signature sweet smile, that could make knees quake but you were left oblivious of your power. Especially the power you had over the three boys. The moment you stepped foot into the house, the twins and Paddy had been enthralled with you. Even though you were a year older than the twins but a year younger than Tom, that didn’t stop the boys from falling your little spell of kindness, compassion and affectionate nature.
As the day wore on, you found out that Tom was coming home along with Harrison. They were both going to stay for dinner, you and Nikki decided on a roast for the occasion. It became a regular thing that you and Nikki to share the cooking, but you always did the dessert. After all it was your specialty, to make sweet things that people enjoy, more importantly your surrogate family.
Dinner time came with ease, though you mostly stayed in the kitchen putting your culinary skills to good use. Though Harrison took the time to come in and see you. You and Harrison got on rather well you both have become rather good friends.
Sitting at the table you mostly listen to the conversation flowing, as well as the jokes and the banter. Although you did get lost in your own little world at points, looking up into space.
“Sorry, what?” You answer crashing back to reality,
“Off with the fairies again, Y/N?” Sam teases, you roll your eyes.
“Something like that.’’ You reply, “what did you want to ask Nikki?”
“Well I’ve been wanting to ask for a while. I really want you to model for me.’’ Nikki says your heart stops, now most girls would dream of been asked to be a model. But for you it was the definition of a nightmare, you weren’t tall, slender, with wonderful skin. You were petite, with curves and imperfections in your skin. So you react in the only way how. You laugh.
“You’re kidding me right.’’
“No, Y/N. I really want you to.’’ Nikki answers,
“Thanks, but no thanks.’’ You say before finding your now empty plate rather interesting,
“Why not Y/N?” Harry asks,
“Because I just want to.’’ You answer your wall staring to go up.
“But you’d be great.’’ Paddy says,
“Look I’m not doing it and that’s final. End of story.’’ You snap beginning to clear the empty plates from the table. A heavy silence went over the family as you left to do the dishes, hopefully in peace.
Once dinner had ended and everyone had, had dessert you were clearing up the last of the dishes. You felt a little guilty about snapping at the family after all they didn’t know about your insecurities, nor did you want them to so you were hoping that your little explosion would put the whole idea to rest.
You were reading on the couch in the lounge room, when Nikki came through to go to the kitchen. You thought this would be a goo d time to at least apologise.
“I’m sorry for snapping earlier.’’ You say sincerity etched in your voice, the older woman smiled softly at you.
“It’s ok Y/N no one should of pushed you.’’ She says, you give a soft smile in return and give her a light hug, before going back off into the lounge to finish reading.
About a week had passed since Nikki asked you to model for her, Tom was going to be staying for a month before tripping off again for Spiderman Homecoming. The family had decided to take a day trip and show you some of the sights, you were more than happy and it was such a lovely sunny day but not too hot.
You all ended up at a little park with a lake, and decided to have lunch there sitting on the soft grass looking at the sparkling lake, when a few butterflies landed on your hand and shoulder. You didn’t dare move as they were so beautiful and seemed quite comfortable on you as well, the Holland family said nothing as they didn’t want to scare the butterflies away either. Though unbeknownst to you Nikki had taken her camera with her and took a quick snap, as the lighting was just so perfect. In fact the whole scene before her was perfect, and she thought that if you saw the photo it would get you to change your mind on the matter.
Eventually the butterflies flew away, you watched them go with a small content smile on your face, you felt so at peace that you almost forgot your insecurities.
“Wow, those butterflies were so pretty.’’ Paddy exclaims with a beaming smile at you,
“They were.’’ Dom adds looking at his eldest who is sporting a look of pure bewilderment, like he’s noticing you for the first time. You don’t notice you’re too busy talking to Sam.
As the day progressed Nikki had sneakily took another two snaps of you, when you weren’t paying attention. One of you looking out to the silver lake, the other was of you sitting under a large tree making a daisy chain, that you ended up giving to Tom.
Nikki had just developed the photos of you, and the boys were all excited to see them as they had noticed their mother taking pictures of you. Tom was especially excited to see them, even if he hasn’t had as much time with you and you two hadn’t spoken much. Seeing you with the butterflies sparked something that he hadn’t felt before. You were currently out helping Dom with the groceries.
“They look great mum.’’ Sam says looking at the picture of you under the tree, you looked like a little fairy, so otherworldly it was crazy.
“If these don’t change her mind I don’t know what will.’’ Harry says, now all they had to do was wait for you to see them.
It felt like forever until you and Dom got back with the shopping, you had taken a little longer because you weren’t sure, whether to get beef or pork. But nonetheless you both got back, and you wanted nothing more than to get changed and read the new book that you had bought. But that didn’t happen instead Nikki took you aside excitedly.
“Now don’t get upset with me. But the other day I took some photos of you.’’ Nikki says showing the three beautifully captured moments, you stare the pictures with wide eyes they were beautiful but you felt a little betrayed.
“But I told you I didn’t want to be a model.’’ You say fighting the growing lump in your throat,
“I know but everything just looked so perfect.’’ Nikki says,
“Doesn’t give you the right to disrespect my wishes.’’ You reply your emotions getting the better of you, because you didn’t see what what everyone else saw, you only saw your flaws.
“You’re upset.’’ Nikki states,
“No, just hurt and I feel betrayed.’’ You say before grabbing your keys and phone as you leave the house, storming past Tom and nearly knocking him over in the process. You don’t say anything, you don’t even stop going out the door getting into your Beatle and driving off.
Tom sees his mother running her hands over her face, looking rather distraught.
“What happened?” he asks,
“I didn’t think that she would be so upset.’’ Nikki says, Tom only nods guessing what happened.
“I’ll go get her.’’ Tom says giving his mother a quick hug before grabbing his own keys and leaving in his car to go after you.
Tom knew you didn’t know the area all that well driving by yourself, but he did know that your favourite place was the closest park. His brothers kept on saying that you loved it so much that it became your little haven when you needed some time to yourself. He parked his car next to yours, after all your car was really distinctive. Now all he had to do was find you in person, that was going to be a little harder.
It felt like he had been walking this park for a solid half an hour when he finally found you, curled up on a park bench, your hair covering your face. He approached you slowly, the he would a scared animal he didn’t want to scare you or upset you any more. He tentatively places a hand on your shaking shoulder that causes you to freeze. He could feel how tense you were under his touch.
“Y/N, are you ok?” He knew it was a stupid question, but asked it anyway,
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just feeling a little homesick.’’ You lie, you feel sit next to you on the bench,
“Mum told me what happened.’’ He says quietly causing you to freeze up again,
“I’m not angry.’’ you mumble slowly lifting your head up, looking into the distance instead of Tom, you didn’t want to look at him and see you like this.
“Can I ask why you’re so upset?” Tom asks softly, you sniffle,
“You wouldn’t understand.’’ You reply wiping your eyes, “to you they’re just photos but to me it’s different.’’
“How so?” Tom was genuinely curious as to why you would be so emotional, you never seemed like this before. You were always so happy and bubbly eager to share it with the world no matter how cold others would be towards your kind and outgoing nature.
“I feel…inadequate.’’ You say trying to find the right words,
“Inadequate?” Tom looks at you incredulously, you huff.
“I told you, you wouldn’t understand.’’ You mutter,
“How do you feel inadequate?” Tom asks feeling guilty for making shut your feelings away from him.
“I mean look at me. I’m short, loud, obnoxious, on the curvier side. I’m not model material.’’ You blurt in one brave breath, “and I refuse to become a joke.’’
“You could never be a joke Y/N.’’ Tom says, with that you finally look him in the eyes, even when you cried you were beautiful your tears made your eyes sparkle in the fading light of the sun that was beginning to set.
“Just leave me alone Tom.’’
“I’m not leaving you by yourself.’’ Tom retorts,
“And I mean it. You’re not a joke, you could never be a joke.’’ Tom adds “you’re beautiful.’’
“You need to check the meaning of beautiful.’’ You murmur under your breath but Tom still heard it,
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re a fucking superhero for crying out loud. What do you think it means.’’ You blurt out tired of been filled with such toxic thoughts and feelings.
“You’re a god among men, and I’m just me. Nothing special. I’m not pretty, or anything like that. I’m just the plucky little side kick that helps out from to time. I read, paint and listen to music. I don’t get the big life changing opportunity, in this.’’ You rant running your fingers through your silky locks.
“You honestly believe that?” Tom snaps finding himself beginning to get angry at your words, did you honestly not see the way people look at you? Or the way you made people smile just by saying hello?
“It’s the truth.’’
“You are so beautiful, good and kind. I’ve never heard my brothers talk about anyone, the way they talk about you. I swear my dad wants to replace me with you. And you can’t see your own worth.’’ Tom begins his own rant that renders you speechless, mouth agape never has someone said that to you before, especially a guy.
“You really think that?” You ask,
“Yes and seeing you yesterday like that you were like a princess. And I’m sorry for not noticing it sooner.’’
“You don’t have to be sorry for anything.’’ You whisper breaking eye contact looking at the scenery before you.
“You’re right. I’m not sorry for this.’’ Tom said cupping your cheeks and kissing you on the lips, his fingers burying them in your hair. You were shocked but managed to kiss tim back tentatively.
“I know you’re not like other girls but you have more kindness, in your little finger than anyone I’ve ever met.’’ Tom says one hand still in your hair the other on your cheek wiping stray tears.
This is a public service announcement made by one Arthur James Abrams BA.
Disabled parking bays are there for reason, Some of us ACTUALLY NEED those bays for the purpose they are intended and not just because we are too lazy to walk the extra hundred yards from the normal bays.
Thank you for listening
Yours sincerely a very pissed off wheelchair user.
No possible tourist service will ever cater to your needs. If you come here looking for fado and Alfama and whatever “real Lisbon experience” some bullshit Time Out article sold you, you need to understand something:
1. Fado is not “the song of the poor people” anymore. It’s not a thing of the dirty little corners of Lisbon where the poor gracious beauties sing as they wash their clothes on a public fountain, nor the thing of prostitues and thieves having a little fun, and it hasn’t since the 19th century because this is the 21st century. You want to get the “real fado experience” either see a concert or go to a fado house where a professional singer will perform while you eat inside a well established business that serves actual food. And yes, you will find tourists among you and not old ladies and hookers because oh my god what do you think Lisbon even looks like? And also because it’s been classified as World Intangible Heritage. You want the “real” old fado experience I guess go to the Fado museum and sit in front of Malhoa’s painting for two hours while listening to Alfredo Marceneiro. At least there you get a hooker and a thief.
2. Stop being dicks about your walks in Alfama and your damn tuk tuk rides because actual people live there. And also in Mouraria. And also in Graça. And also literally the entire fucking area around the castle. So no, a fucking double-decker open-top sightseeing bus won’t drive there despite you really wanting to because they won’t fucking fit the streets.
3. Tram 28 is a public tram. It was not designed as a tourist attraction and I’m sorry some bullshit published tour guide sold you that idea. Tram 28, as well as literally every other tram, were designed so people could go to work and move around more easily. Actual people use that for their daily routines, aka work-home rides. So honestly I don’t give a rat’s ass if you have to wait in line for one hour to ride tram 28. There is a touristic service specially made for you that does the same route but if you refuse to ride it because “it’s not the real deal” than it’s not my problem.
dear tourists that come to Japan during sakura season: please dont touch the sakura on the trees. we don’t care if you’re trying to take aesthetic photos with sakura in your face, we don’t care if you want to take clusters straight from the trees home. it damages the trees and this has been a problem every season. it’s basic hanami manners you should take the time to learn before coming to our country.
“What do you mean you’re leaving?” Sadie said looking up at Lars. His head was fuzzy and hadn’t been shaved in a long time. There were bags under his eyes and stress was clear on his face. She also saw a large bandage on his arm, but she didn’t ask.
“My mom and I are moving away,” he said quietly not looking at her. He had so much to say to her, but he couldn’t find the words. “We’ll come back, but we don’t know when. I…” He begun to say. I’ll miss you? Was he really going to say that to her after he had been such an ass to her for nearly his entire Beach City life? He sighed not sure what to say.
Sadie felt hurt, but she shrugged it off. “Come here,” she stood up on her chair as he came close to her. Leaning on the counter Lars’s cheeks heated up as their faces got closer. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt her lips press against his cheek. “I expect you to return that,” she was flushed too, but she didn’t say any more.
“A-alright,” he said going to the door. “I’ll write you.”
“You got a letter dearie,” a olive toned woman said walking through the house. Coming to her son’s room she opened the door and nearly laughed when she saw her son flexing in the mirror. “I see you’ve got my bum.”
“Mom!” he screamed embarrassed as he scrambled to cover his boxers. When he had a shirt over his head he got the letter from her. Turning it over he saw it was from Sadie. “Thank you.”
“You are welcome. Dinner will be ready in a couple minutes,” she said walking back out of the room.
Once she was gone Lars tore open the letter. He didn’t notice the picture that had fallen on the ground.
The tourists have hit Beach City hard this year and it has kept me busy, but it’s good for the economy. Plus I have gotten a new bikini, Kiki had talked me into wearing one to the beach. Granted I’ll probably wear a covering the entire time. I also sent you a picture of me in it. I wish I could make this longer, but with all the tourists I’ve been kept busy.
Lars looked down to his bed and found the picture of Sadie. Looking at it his cheeks turned rosey. In the picture stood a rosy cheeked Sadie with a simple looking bikini. The bikini covered what it needed to and would be considered modest by anyone else, but Lars wasn’t used to seeing all that skin.
He decided to keep it hidden so he tucked it in the crack in his desk.
“Ugh, why is it raining?” Sadie groaned looking out through the shop windows at the dreary Beach City. The weather seemed to mimic her mood exactly. Tourist season was over and Beach City was returning to normal. However that wasn’t what was getting her down, Lars hadn’t written back in nearly two weeks.
“Might as well lock up for the night,” she sighed locking the front doors and headed for the breakroom. Pulling on her rain coat and hood she prepared to walk out of the room when she felt long skinny arms wrap around her. She screamed and spun around preparing to defend herself. Her arm halted in midair when she saw who it was. “Lars!”
Lars chuckled as Sadie knocked him back against the table in the breakroom. “Good to see you too.”
“Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be back home?” Sadie said looking him up and down. He had gained a little weight since being gone and his hair had grown out. She liked it like that.
“My mom had some things to settle in Beach City,” Lars said wrapping his arms around her. “If everything goes right we should be back in Beach City in no time.”
“Great,” she said hugging him. “I…I missed you.”
“I did too,” he said looking at her. She was just about the only person he trusted with his true emotions. He bent down and kissed her.
“Sadie!” Lars’s panicked voice came through the bookstore door. She looked up from her book and saw his panicked expression.
“Lars what happened?” Sadie jumped up and ran to him. She saw the bruises and cuts on his arms and face.
“It’s…it’s my mom,” his eyes started to well up with tears as he thought about his mother. “My…my dad nearly killed her.”
Sadie ran out of the shop staying close behind Lars as they made their way towards where he had lived. She saw the red and blue lights of where his house is. Getting close to the house she saw a man with light blonde hair and sharp teeth sitting in the back of the cruiser.
“Where’s my mom?” Lars shouted coming up to an officer.
“The buggy took her to the hospital when you ran off,” the officer said seeing Sadie standing beside him. “I can give you a lift to the hospital if you want to see your mother.”
Sadie looked up at Lars and his emotionless face. “That would be nice.”
Lars sat there in his mother’s hospital room beside her bed. He had refused Sadie’s offer to spend the night at his house. All he wanted to do was be with his mother while she recovered. The doctors had said she only had a few broken ribs and a broken leg. The rest of her injuries were superficial and only needed minor medication to treat. Doctors had also treated his own injuries, but only after Sadie had convinced him to let him.
“Did you get any sleep?” Sadie said coming into the room carrying a large flowering plant.
“He didn’t,” a soft voice came from the hospital bed.
“Lars you need your sleep,” Sadie said coming to sit beside him.
“I just want to be with my mom,” he said looking at her.
“Lars,” his mother’s firm voice made him turn to look at her. “I’ll be fine, go with Sadie tonight and sleep with her. Not sleep with her in that sense, but get some sleep. I give my permission for you and Sadie to share a bed.”
“Is…is it okay for me to come in?” Lars asked nervously. He was dressed head to toe in a outfit he hadn’t worn to bed since before high school. He usually slept in his boxers, but since he was sharing a bed with Sadie, that wasn’t possible.
“Yes come in,” he heard Sadie’s nervous voice say as he walked through the door and into her room. He stood there looking around, it wasn’t the room he expected her to have. The room was modern and a little girlish.
“What?” Sadie said. Lars turned to look at her and he nearly squeaked at the sight of her. She was wearing a T-shirt that looked like she could vanish in if she wasn’t careful. “This was my dad’s…I like to wear it. He was a pretty big guy. Almost as tall as Steven’s mom was.”
“It looks fine on you,” he yawned.
“Come on lets get to bed,” she said climbing into her bed. Lars followed her but stood uncertain on the edge of the bed. “What? I won’t bite.”
An imagine of her crossed his mind and his cheeks heated up. He slowly got into the bed with her and slid under the covers. For a couple minutes they laid far apart, but as drowsiness set in their eye lids got heavy.
There is absolutely nothing traditional about canned sardines in portugal. I have never tasted a canned sardine. I have never met anyone who has ever tasted a canned sardine. I have never owned a canned sardine. We dont eat canned sardines. The only reason they are popular is because you idiots heard we ate sardines and immediately thought that could only mean canned sardines, and as a consequence, amidst the niche-market of “lets make shit looking like it’s from 1955”, which blew out of proportions in the past couple of years (thanks Catarina Portas), canned sardines became the hit. Canned sardines did exist back in the day, it still does. Except that’s not what we mean when we say that eating sardines is traditional. I hace no fucking clue who came up with that canned sardine bullshit.
The traditional sardines you are looking for are the ones grilled outside on a hot summer day and smacked onto a piece of bread, dripping of olive oil. Not a can of touristic franchise bullshit.
More and more tourists are coming to Iceland over the winter months which is a good thing since Iceland at winter is completely different from Iceland at summer. But at winter you can expect absolutely schizophrenic weather and unfortunately some of our foreign guests don´t seem to realize that. If there is a place where you shouldn´t underestimate the forces of nature it´s here
Snowstorms with zero visibility occur regularly over the winter months and the south coast which is a popular tourist destination is prone to heavy storms. As a matter of fact there was one just last weekend and the wind was so high that windows got blown out of cars and fist size rocks are blown around just like paper balls. Rescue teams had to go out and bring dozens of tourists to safety.
This photo is from Reynisfjara, the black sand beach. A beautiful place but you have to be extremely careful there when the sea is raging like it was this day. A big wave can come all of a sudden and grab you and if you loose your footing , as you most likely will the tide will suck you out and you will most likely drown and your body will never be found. Tourists have lost their lives there. This guy there was way too close to the ocean and you NEVER turn your back on it if you are this close.
So dear tourists, be careful. We want you to come again, not die here and all these warnings you see at places like Reynisfjara are there for a reason
Ok, so this is something which has been bothering me for a while, but now tourist season is in full swing here in Japan the issue has become ever more strained. I’m sorry this is kinda long and ranty.
Tourists; just because you see someone wearing a kimono, Lolita, decora, cosplay or anything that quips your interest DOES NOT mean it’s ok to take that person’s picture. Japan is a country which values privacy and politeness.
If you want a picture, ask. Pointing to your camera and asking ‘is it ok?’ counts as asking, people will understand and appreciate that you didn’t just stick a camera in their face and start snapping away. You can talk to people about what they are wearing, and generally make the experience a good one. You can say you stopped and spoke to that person, how nice they were and make a good holiday memory. The alternative makes us feel like we’re being treated like an animal in a zoo or a tourist attraction. (You will also probably get a really crappy snap.)
We’re just normal people trying to go about our business. We wear what we wear for a variety of reasons, but to end up in your holiday snaps is not one of them. Having our image should be a privilege for us to grant.
This is important because it’s something me, my foreign and Japanese friends who dress in alternative fashions experience most weekends. People are really obnoxious, they don’t ask and they act as if you’re being rude if you ask them to stop. You think you’re being sneaky and that we can’t see you taking our picture, but we definitely can.
Would you rather have a nice picture of us, or a picture of us looking really uncomfortable, trying to hide our face?
We often use body language to try and ask people trying to snap to stop, and then I often will verbally ask them to stop. Often they will ignore us or call you an asshole. The Japanese are often shy or worried about their English so they avoid vocalising their discomfort. We also don’t like it when you put your arm around our shoulder or touch us when taking a photo with us. Please don’t touch.
To you it’s just one picture, to us it’s an entire day where our routine is being interrupted by constantly being stopped, people walking in your way to get a picture of you and people trying to sneakily take pictures of you hoping you won’t notice. Recently we’ve been trying to find new places to hang out because it’s become really awful. It’s preventing us from doing our thing.
Please accept we won’t always say yes even if you do ask, we do appreciate that you asked though. If we’re eating in a cafe or restaurant we will say no. If it’s the end of a long day and we’re kinda fed up and tired and going home we will probably refuse.
Moreover this general kind of rude behaviour creates a negative impression of foreigners in general, it’s the foreign residents and future tourists to Japan that then have to put up with it. Just exercise common courtesy, just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Asking is common courtesy.
We acknowledge and accept that when we don our regalia that people will want our photo, but at the same time we expect to be treated like people with feelings.
Tl;dr: if you want a photo of someone don’t be an asshole, just ask.