Guess what? I stumbled upon this new musical. It’s really good and I think you’d like it!
The Responsible Side of Me:
Oh, NO. Stop it. STOP IT. I know what you’re thinking. DON’T. You’ve got too many obsessions with musicals. Your relationship with Broadway is not healthy. NOT HEALTHY! Wait, what are you— You can’t— NO—
So recently, I re-listened to the entirety of TAZ in prep for the ending and took notes; as we head into the finale next week, I wanted to share them! This is a comprehensive look at every plot thread, bit of foreshadowing, and yet-unresolved ideas as we head into endgame. This involves heavy spoilers through the most recent episode (66) and assumes you have already listened or read the content before.
OKAY KIDS LEMME SIT YOU TF DOWN AND TELL YOU ABOUT DAMIEN FRICKIN BLOODMARCH
(SPOILERS!!!!!!!! IF YOU HAVE NOT PLAYED HIS ROUTE AND DON’T WANNA BE SPOILED DO NOT READ)
OKAY, FIRST OF ALL
DAT HAIR, DAT MAKEUP, DAT SWEET OUTFIT
MY ACNE IS CURED, MY GRADES HAVE GONE UP, LIFE IS A DAMN DREAM AND IT’S ALL BECAUSE OF THIS GOTH PRINCE
HE’S V. PASSIONATE ABOUT EVERYTHING, LIKE ONE OF THE MOST ATTRACTIVE THINGS IN THE WORLD IS WHEN SOMEONE IS PASSIONATE ABOUT WHAT THEY LOVE AND HIS HEART IS FULL OF LOVE AND WONDER LET ME TELL YOU
This dude renovated his whole house by himself.
HIS HOUSE IS SO BEAUTIFUL I ACTUALLY HAD THE AUDACITY TO FEEL SLIGHTLY JEALOUS OF THIS FALLEN ANGEL
I WANTED TO STEAL HIS HOUSE FROM HIM
DID I MENTION THAT HE HAS NARUTO FANFIC IN HIS VICTORIAN LIBRARY?
NARUTO X SASUKE SMUT NO LESS
TRULY A MAN OF TASTE
And this dude has A+++++++ parenting AND gardening skills.
He is an expert on everything Victorian, including the language of flowers and arranging bouquets and writing beautiful letters.
INSTEAD OF SENDING YOU A MESSAGE ON DADBOOK LIKE SOME PEASANT, HE WRITES YOU GORGEOUS HEARTFELT LETTERS IN FINE CALLIGRAPHY SEALED WITH HIS OWN SIGIL
HE OFFERS TO GIVE YOU A PERSONALIZED BOUQUET WITH YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER ON YOUR FIRST HANGOUT
GIVES YOU HIS HANDKERCHIEF LIKE SOME VAMPIRIC KNIGHT OF OLD
THIS DUDE IS EXTRA AF WITH EVERYTHING HE DOES AND I AM 10000% FOR IT, YES THAT’S SOME GOOOOOOOOOOOOD SHIT, SIGN ME UP
But he also has a sweet and joking side. Despite his Gothic persona, he is actually really scared by horror movies. He takes you out for a date in a graveyard and somehow makes it comforting, enchanting even. He’s always making jokes about things the Victorians COULD have done.
Damien manages to handle his rebellious teen JUST FINE without making his son feel like he’s being patronized or controlled. He is diplomatic, calm, and loving. He’s a cool dad.
AND WHEN YOU FINALLY GO ON YOUR THIRD DATE, OH YES YOU ARE IN FOR A SURPRISE.
DAMIEN BLOODMARCH, MR. BEAUTIFUL PRINCE OF DARKNESS, IS ACTUALLY AN IT GUY WHO VOLUNTEERS AT AN ANIMAL SHELTER IN HIS OFF TIME.
AND. HE. LOVES. DOGS.
BLESSED IMAGE, REBLOG FOR GOOD FORTUNE
IF YOU WEREN’T SOLD ON HIM ALREADY, OOOOOOOOOO BABY, OOOOOOOOOO YES THIS IS THE KICKER RIGHT HERE
GOD WHAT AN ADORABLE DORK
IT TURNS OUT HE WAS ACTUALLY SCARED THAT YOU WOULDN’T LIKE THE FACT THAT HE’S NOT JUST A GOTH 24/7. THAT HE’S ACTUALLY A THREE DIMENSIONAL PERSON
AND THE REASON WHY HE DOESN’T FEAR DEATH IS BECAUSE HE BELIEVES THAT IT GIVES LIFE MEANING, THAT YOU SHOULDN’T LET GRIEF CONTROL YOU FOREVER
HERE IS A WONDERFUL, GORGEOUS PARENT WITH UNIQUE INTERESTS AND HE IS JUST FULL OF SO MANY SWEET THOUGHTS AND IDEAS AAGHHGHGHGH
Damien has lost people dear to him. Yet he keeps moving. He keeps finding ways to make his life interesting and beautiful. He is good with animals and kids, everyone really (except the cashier at Hot Topic). He has not let life make him bitter. I love that about his character. I think his connection with the Player Dad is really special because people judge him so quickly and the Player Dad helps show him that he’s more than just an archetype and he can be his own person. The pressure to be only a small part of himself 100% of the time was making it hard for him to enjoy his hobbies, or to feel free. And I relate to that, I really do. We all have something people expect us to be.
And don’t even get me started on the GRADUATION PARTY
DAMIEN’S SON THANKS YOU FOR MAKING HIS DAD HAPPY
AND DAMIEN SHOWS UP IN HIS IT GUY CLOTHES
HE HAS FINALLY ACCEPTED HIMSELF AND GAINED CONFIDENCE AND IT FEELS AMAZING
And then there is this
I have nothing to say.
I think I almost cried when i SAW THIS GIFT FROM THE GODS
MMMMMMMMMM YESSSSSSSSSS THIS IS THE PUREST CINNAMON ROLL, 70% SUGAR, 20% GOTH, 10% BAD JOKES
I FEEL LIKE I HAVE BEEN CLEANSED AFTER PLAYING HIS ROUTE
AND THIS IS MY INADEQUATE ESTIMATION OF DAMIEN MOTHERTRUCKING BLOODMARCH, MAY HE REIGN AS THE BEAUTIFUL DORK KING OF DARKNESS FOREVER