dear god that was some long two hours

anonymous asked:

*squeal* Okay I want a beautiful fic in which Molly is a youtuber who makes videos with two of her best friends (John and Meena). All the subscribers think that Molly and Sherlock (Johns flatmate) hate each other...but then there is a live stream.

My sister DEMANDED this AU of me, sent me the prompt, and yelled at me all day to write it. Guys. I wrote a whole first chapter. Here is a sneak peak, for the purposes of prompt completion, but dear GOD this went long. I WROTE SIX THOUSAND WORDS IN A DAY, PEOPLE - ALL BECAUSE SHE KEPT DEMANDING ME TO WRITE IT. 

Hi! Uploaded two hours ago by Miss Mouse. 6:31.

The camera wobbled as the girl adjusted it a little.

She was wearing a slightly dowdy white blouse – her hair was pulled back in a pony tail, and she had a small frame. She smiled at the camera nervously. The background was of a pretty yellow room, a multicoloured bed and fairylights that were strong across a softboard that had diagrams upon diagrams of anatomy. Some of them weren’t human.

“Hi!” she said. Her voice was a little high-pitched and breathy, particularly since she looked like she’d just come back from somewhere. “My name is Molly Hooper – I’m a student in eleventh grade, and I am sixteen years old. Sorry – this is sounding like a list. I’m not sure why I’m doing this – Meena said that it might be a good idea, particularly since according to her, I just think too much. I guess it’s nice to have someone to talk to.”

She paused.

“Oh dear – that makes me sound so lonely,” she said. “Um – I’m not entirely sure what else I should talk about.”

She looked behind the camera confusedly.

“Meena is signaling me furiously, I’m not sure what’s going on.”

“Talk about school!” came the voice behind the camera.

“What about school?” asked Molly exasperatedly.

“What about that bloke? Sherlock? Your classes? Anything, Molly! You talk to me twenty four seven and everyone compliments me on having found a friend who’s so quiet.”

Molly blushed. The camera went a little out of focus for a second –

“Hang on,” said Meena. “Yes. Go.”

Molly was looking at her fingers when the camera came back. She fiddled with a string on her blouse, and she looked at the camera.

“Do you believe in love at first sight?” she asked, finally. Her face was pink, but she looked strangely determined. “There’s this boy and I love him. At least, I think I do. I can’t stop thinking about him. He’s so intelligent it’s like he’s burning. And he’s so cool but not really. And he’s fit. Oh, he is really fit.”

Molly looked up. “Meena is signaling me with a thumbs up. I guess that means I’m good. I can’t stop thinking about him. I’m a sensible girl, I always have been – really, the first time I had a drink with Meena, I finished one peg, ate two chocolate biscuits, and had another. And I worked really hard to get into AP Chemistry, but he just rides all over everything. It’s like I’m Molly Hooper, in control. ‘Little Miss Perfect’ as my mates call me. Until he walks into the room and then suddenly I’m this little mouse. He turns me into a mouse.”

She looked at her shoes.

“I don’t think you’re ‘Little Miss In Control’, Molly,” said Meena from behind.

“Really? John says I am.”

“John doesn’t recognize Mary for the madwoman she is,” said Meena sarcastically. “You have to be really oblivious to be John. You’re a mess, for sure, you’re just a mess who’s got every stupid thing in her life sorted except yourself.”

“Thanks for that vote of confidence,” said Molly.

“No problem, babe.”

“I think Sherlock hates me, though,” said Molly sadly.

“What?” asked Meena.

“He’s always glaring at me in class,” said Molly. “And he’s always mean. I mean – on some level, I hate him as well! He’s always so rude, and there’s no need to be rude.”

There was a silence from behind the camera.

“You know, Molly, sometimes, you can be equally oblivious.”


Jon Hotson: Go Molly! You finally joined us.

Miss Mouse replied: What can I say? Meena convinced me.

Bitchin Through The Day replied: God, John, it took such effort, I can’t tell you.


theworldburned2714: who is this bloke?? sounds like a dick, i hope molly hates him

cauldronbubble replied: i think she does subconsciously lol


Biology It Is uploaded one hour ago by Miss Mouse. 5:40

“Hi!” she said. “Meena is with me again, today, as I try to get a hang of how I do this. There were some comments, which was really nice. I’m sorry I didn’t reply, I felt really awkward.” She blinked at the camera. “Not that it’s very new for me to be awkward. He came in today, you know – and I just don’t understand him. He’s so frustrating. I think user cauldronbubble was right.”

“Molly, you need to explain a little bit more. Everyone isn’t watching all your videos.”

“Right,” said Molly, sounding flustered. “He was in again today and I still don’t understand him. One minute he’s noticing the tiniest thing about me and the next it’s like I’m not here. He said I was wearing too much lipstick and then said I wasn’t wearing enough. I just don’t know. Connie Prince will know. She’s fab.”

“Molly! Learn to give some details – but also be careful in case you give away too much.”

“Um, right,” said Molly. She fumbled a little with her jumper. “So – well, we were in AP Chemistry, you know? And, well – I wasn’t doing anything – minding my own business and all that. And I got well – I don’t know, he just showed up. And it was so irritating, Meena – he just said ‘Are you wearing lip gloss?’ and yes, obviously I am –”

“Which lip gloss?” asked Meena interestedly.

Molly glared at the person behind the camera. “Why does it matter?”

“I don’t know, it just looked like that new Baby Lips.”

“How did you know?” asked Molly. “Nevermind – I said, ‘yes’ and he turned away. And then – at the end of the lesson, when I took it off he goes, ‘your lips look too small now.’”

“I wonder what he wears outside of school,” said Meena conversationally from behind the camera.

“John’s Youtube channel has them going on adventures and stuff a lot – he wears a coat. Full one.

“He’s seventeen!” said Meena.

“Exactly,” said Molly in a satisfied voice.

“Too bad you have the hots for him,” said Meena. “He is very fit, though.”

“I know,” said Molly, sounding frustrated.

“Maybe we should talk about AP Chemistry instead,” said Meena.

“Stop directing my videos!” said Molly.

“Do it yourself, then,” said Meena.

“I don’t know what to say about AP Chemistry – everything that we have been taught since we were children is a lie, the universe is a mess, no one knows what gravity even is, let alone any rules or equations which work with it, and God isn’t real.”

There was a silence from behind the camera. “Pleasant. You could have taken AP English with me. I’m in Shakespearean heaven.”

“Biology is nice, though. I’m a bit tired of cutting frogs.”

“You’re the only one who is able to do it,” said Meena.

“I want a pigeon,” said Molly.

“So, biology it is, eh?”

“Biology it is.” Molly frowned. “You should start coming in front of the camera, you know.”

A forehead popped at the edge of the camera, slowly. “Hello Molly’s viewers! Subscribe to my channel, Bitchin Through The Day for actual quality content. I have actual three thousand subscribers!”

“You talk about English all the time, why do you have so many subscribers?”

“People like hearing Wordsworth bitched about. Cause he’s a little bitch.”

The forehead retreated.

Molly rolled her eyes. “Right. Thanks, for watching! If you liked this video, please like it, and subscribe to my channel Miss Mouse to see more!”


Seven new comments from Jon Hotson, Bitchin Through The Day, cauldronbubble, theworldburned2714, itwas42, hellodarknessmyoldfriend, and suckIT25


The Blind Banker uploaded five hours ago by Jon Hotson. 20:21

15:23 – 16:17

The sandy haired boy sat in front of the camera – he was wearing a striped jumper, and in the background, his friend with curly hair was lounging. The friend looked distinctly disgruntled. His room was painted white, while his bed was in the background, with a purple sheet. There were some posters of bands behind the headboard.

“In any case – Dimmock wasn’t convinced that Sherlock was telling the truth about the drug smuggling teenagers operating in the school – and he decided to charm Molly Hooper into helping him analyse their little ‘popular token which is just circulating among teenagers.’”

“My God, your audience must be tired of you. How can you reduce cold fact and logic into this sensationalist, exclamation point inducing, emoticon mess?”

“I have five thousand subscribers, Sherlock!”

“I can’t fathom why.”

“I can’t fathom why you’re always doing that to Molly.”

“Doing what to Molly?” asked the boy with black hair, flicking his hair. He jumped from the sandy haired boy’s bed, pacing the room until he was seated in front of the camera.

“You know – that thing. Where you charm her. You told her that her hair looked nice today.”

“It did. Very aesthetically pleasing,” said Sherlock dismissively. “Is it any different from the way you managed to get into that girl Sarah’s good books?”

“I – Sherlock – that’s different! I’m interested in Sarah.”

“Poor girl,” commented Sherlock. “Look, John – Molly Hooper is a garden variety insecure teenager. It’s easy to take advantage of her and make her happy at the same time. I could not care less about her hair, except she did make an effort today so it was an easy target.”

The camera went briefly out of focus.

“Christ, Sherlock, anyone would think you hate her.”

The black haired boy’s eyes flickered briefly to the camera as it started to come back to its senses.

“Can we get back to your ridiculous narrative?”



Most Popular Comment:

cauldronbubble: god, fuck you, Sherlock Holmes.

You can find the full first chapter on AO3 here and on FF Net here.