deans face in the background

i can’t decide between quoting lucky i’m in love with my best friend and lucky we’re in love in every way from this song that resonates with this picture, and my feelings, perfectly

seamus and dean you guys

season 1 dean winchester is so fun to draw

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-

Normally Gabriel entered the Winchester motel rooms with flare, gusto, or at least some finesse. But one morning, Sam didn’t realize Gabriel had appeared until he was tapped on the shoulder as he was researching their current case. He looked up, maybe expecting to see Castiel, because appearing silently was his thing.

“Gabriel?” Sam blinked, seeing his heavy eyelids and a flushed, or even green shade, to his face. “You don’t look so good.” Gabriel gave a half hearted smile.

“I don’t feel so good. Must have been something I ate,” Gabriel said, arms folded over his vessel’s stomach, which gave a disturbing whine in protest. “Hush you.” Sam raised his brows.

“Did you actually eat too much candy or something?” Sam had joked about Gabriel eating too much chocolate before, but Gabriel always said the perk of being an archangel was that he got all of the good taste and none of the belly aches.

Gabriel shrugged and plopped down on Dean’s bed on his back. “Or something. I think I was poisoned.” Sam waited for the punchline but Gabriel just let out a painful groan.

“Y-you’re serious?” Sam stood up from his research, ready to call Poison Control or take Gabriel to get his stomach pumped. Though he paused, wondering if poison effected archangels. “You’re susceptible to poison?”

“Certain kinds.” Gabriel muttered, his eyes closed and his hand waving about sluggishly. “Magical or cursed poisons. I do have a long list of enemies. I mean, it probably wasn’t Kali because she’s more likely to leave a burn mark. She likes to destroy people in person. Maybe it was Odin. He’s a spiteful asshat.”

“Do you need something?” Sam asked, because poison was not something to take lightly.

“A place to rest,” Gabriel said. “Can’t really do anything except wait for my being to heal from it. It’s like the worst case of indigestion in the world. Only an angel sword can really kill me, you know.” Gabriel then sat up, sounding thoughtful. “I bet it was Baldr, or even Frigg. She never did forgive me for nearly killing her precious, perfect little princess. Seriously. Do you know how tired I was? Hearing how perfect he was? Perfect little momma’s boy more like it…” Sam sighed, figuring Gabriel was being dramatic. If he was energetic enough to rant about Baldr, he was well enough to heal on his own. Well, that’s what he thought until he saw Gabriel cover his mouth, and then a second later he disappeared, only for Sam to hear him in the bathroom retching.

It was lovely timing when Dean came in with breakfast and heard an archangel puking in the bathroom. Sam sighed, having to explain that Gabriel had to stay for a while. Dean is not happy with this fact but he at least grimaced when he heard Gabriel the second time, with a bit more of a choking sound.

Then Gabriel said, “Oh, well mystery solved. It was Frigg. She’s the only one that would send me mistletoe.”

-

Sam loaned his bed to Gabriel and left a bucket for him beside the bed. Not that Gabriel couldn’t make it to the toilet, but it was the thought that counted in Sam’s opinion.

“TV…” Gabriel bemoaned in a zombie like fashion. Sam rolled his eyes when the motel room’s brick television became a plasma widescreen… -what ever it was- on the wall and turned to the nearest cartoon channel. “Hey, hey, don’t mock the healing power of Television.”

“You’re a grown angel, I would think you’d chose something better than Loony Tunes.” Sam adjusted his tie because he and Dean were going undercover again.

“Old ones or the new ones?” Dean asked, finally finished in the bathroom and ready to hit the road.

“Classics, of course,” Gabriel said. Dean made a face that said that was an acceptable answer before he jiggled the keys at Sam.

“Okay, okay.” Sam looked at Gabriel. “You have our numbers, and we let Cas know that you’re here and not feeling good. Are you sure I can’t get you anything? There’s not some spell that will help?” Gabriel have him a smile.

“Just your tender love and affection,” Gabriel said, which was good for getting a gag reaction from Dean before he left the motel room. “At least give me a kiss before you go.” Sam gave a glance at the closed motel door before he leaned down to kiss Gabriel’s brow, completely missing his puckered lips. He was not kissing that mouth when he’d seen the black sludge that had come out of it.

“You focus on healing up,” Sam said, walking towards the door and ignoring Gabriel’s childish pout. “And no pranks.”

“Oh sure, take the fun out of everything,” Gabriel muttered. Before Sam closed the door he asked, “Still love me?”

Sam sighed but nodded. “Yes, still love you.” Then he shut the door and tried to focus on their case.

-

After some useful information had been gathered, Sam and Dean stopped by a corner store for some supplies. Sam found himself looking at the pharmaceuticals for more than a couple minutes, trying to figure out how much activated charcoal an archangel would need to purge the poison in his system. He would probably need a whole county’s worth; but it wasn’t magical, so he wasn’t sure if it would work on cursed mistletoe.

Sam grabbed the only 3 bottles that were left on the shelf and as he passed by the drink section he picked up a box of cheap chamomile tea because it was supposed to help with everything; magic induced stomach aches included.

Dean gave him a raised brow at the checkout line before he asked, “You going to make him homemade chicken soup too?”

“Shut up,” Sam said, he wasn’t just going to sit by and do absolutely nothing while his lover was suffering.

“I think he’s faking it,” Dean said. “Seriously, mistletoe? People use that for kissing.”

“It’s also a very deadly poison,” Sam informed him as they were getting their order rung up. “In Norse Legend, it was the only thing that the goddess Frigg had not asked to never harm her son Baldr. Loki used another god to shoot mistletoe to kill Baldr.”

“Then who was the guy walking around that hotel?” Dean asked, remembering Baldr and Kali had had a thing.

“I think that’s why Gabriel said ‘nearly killed’ Baldr.” Sam paid for the groceries and his things for Gabriel. He was eager to get home and check on the archangel to see how he was doing. “Gods can be spiteful.”

Making it back to the motel room, it was eerie to Gabriel still in the same spot he’d left him in that morning. Gabriel looked half dazed as Sam walked over to the bed and sat next to him. Gabriel’s face was flushed and there was a shine of sweat on his skin.

“Wow, you look like crap,” Dean said from the doorway.

Gabriel scoffed. “Well thanks, Dino. Remind me to return the favor when your insides are molten lava.”

“Stop it you two.” Sam opened the bag and showed Gabriel the bottle, but didn’t get any recognition to it. “I figured it couldn’t hurt to get something for poison. It’s charcoal.”

“Bleck,” was Gabriel’s only response.

“Don’t be a baby about it,” Sam told him.

Gabriel’s head rolled back as he rolled his eyes and slowly pushed himself up. “How much did you get?”

“They only had three left,” Sam said.

“Three cases? Three pounds? Three tons?”

“Bottles. Three bottles.” Sam shrugged.

Gabriel sighed and pinched the bridge his nose for a moment. “Better than nothing I guess.” Gabriel popped off the bottle cap and Sam got up to turn on the cheapest coffee maker on the motel room table to make hot water with. Dean was doing his best to ignore them and was changing from his crisp suit to more comfortable hunting clothes. Sam went back over to join Gabriel when he had a paper cup of hot water with two teabags starting to steep. Gabriel had already emptied the whole bottle down his throat and Sam blinked.

“I wasn’t expecting it to go that fast,” Sam said.

“Well if it’s going to have any effect, might as well down them all.” Gabriel closed his eyes, still sitting up. Sam pressed his hand lightly to Gabriel’s fevered brow but immediately pulled back, as though touching the red coils of a stove.

“Ow…” Sam’s hand went to his mouth and Gabriel blinked tiredly. “You’re… literally burning up.”

“Oh great.” Gabriel groaned, his face sinking into his hands. “I hate this part.” It was obviously not the first time Gabriel had been poisoned like this, but it didn’t ease Sam’s mind.

“Um, I guess hot tea wouldn’t help at the moment then,” Sam muttered. Gabriel seemed to realize Sam was holding the cup in his hands.

“You made me tea?” Gabriel asked and a smile creased on his face as he rested his chin in his hand. “You’re sweet.” Sam shrugged and tried not to be aware of Dean making faces in the background.

“I… dunno if it’ll really help, but yeah,” Sam said. Gabriel look the cup and Sam grimaced as Gabriel started to drink it. “It’s still… hot.” The temperature didn’t seem to bother Gabriel though, which Sam was relieved to see. Archangel, he reminded himself. Sam watched a puff of steam leave Gabriel’s mouth as he let out a partly relieved sigh.

“Trust me, it’s still a few hundred degrees cooler than what’s going on in here,” Gabriel told him with a tired smile. Sam returned the smile and Gabriel laid back down, seemingly to rest, but since angels didn’t sleep, Sam could only guess that Gabriel was resting his eyes and focusing on healing.

“Come on, Sam, we got us a chupacabra to catch tonight,” Dean said, packing the essentials for a good old fashioned monster hunt. Sam changed out of his suit, but he looked at Gabriel and felt conflicted. Gabriel was still sick, perhaps even vulnerable to attack in his current state.

“Maybe you should ask Cas to go on this hunt with you,” Sam said as the sun was going down; a good time to head out and start a hunt. Dean blinked, confused.

“Why? You and me can handle it,” Dean said.

“Because… I think I should stay with Gabriel until he’s feeling better,” Sam said. Dean looked betrayed. “It’s one night, Dean, I think you and Cas can handle one chupacabra.”

“That’s our thing though,” Dean muttered. Sam rolled his eyes to the ceiling.

“Come on, Dean. Gabriel’s sick. Gabriel, the archangel that saved us from Lucifer…”

“Jesus, fine.” Dean looked up, getting out his phone. Several seconds after Dean asked, “Wanna go on a hunt?” Castiel had appeared in the motel room and said in person that yes, he would like to go on a hunt. Sam found it amusing and resisted to wish them a fun first date as they both left.

Gabriel started stirring an hour later while Sam had pulled out a book to read. An actual, fictional book. Not another tome on monsters.

“Hey,” Sam said, sitting up on the other bed. Gabriel made a groan in response. “I keep trying to figure out if you’re sleeping or not.”

“Nah, there are just periods that I feel way too dizzy to do anything,” Gabriel muttered, blinking his eyes open. He let out a mild belch that didn’t sound too pleasant and Gabriel made a face that confirmed it, his hands over his stomach. “Sam, if you ever get a pie from an anonymous admirer. Do not, I repeat, do not eat it.”

“Noted.” Sam shut his book and moved over to Gabriel’s bed. He carefully touched his cheek and found it wasn’t actually scalding hot anymore. “At least you won’t be burning down the motel tonight.”

“Yay,” Gabriel said with the scariest lack of enthusiasm. Sam made him more tea and had Gabriel swallowed another bottle of charcoal. This time he actually let the tea cool and steep properly. Gabriel gave him a tired smile as he laid down again. “You’re too good to me.” Sam shrugged, face flushing ever so lightly.

“You’re sick. I don’t even feel like I’m doing much.” Sam took Gabriel’s hand and it squeezed back lightly. Maybe he was just worried. He’d never seen Gabriel like this. Never imagined an archangel to be immobilized by something like poison or anything less than a nuclear bomb.

“You’re doing a human thing,” Gabriel said, his eyes closed, looking peaceful for the first time in hours. “Caring about me.” It sounded so alien when Gabriel said that. It made it sound like angels didn’t take care of one another. Or maybe Gabriel was still somewhat delirious and he was talking about the gods he’d been with for so long.

“Is there anything else I can do?” Sam asked softly. He felt a bit useless and anything he’d looked up for normal mistletoe just told him to call Poison Control. The least he could do was to keep Gabriel as comfortable as possible.

“Mmm,” Gabriel’s one eye opened some, “belly rub?” It sounded like a joke. It should have been a joke. Sam wanted to ask of Gabriel was serious, but he really knew Gabriel better than that. The small smile told him he WAS joking, but the watching eye hinted that Gabriel really did want some more pampering. Sam sighed, glad Dean was gone.

“Only because you’re sick,” Sam told him. Gabriel looked pleased as Sam pulled down the sheets and pushed up Gabriel’s shirts. Gabriel’s skin was flushed even under his clothes but it was a tolerable heat. Sam’s palm started a circular, clockwise motion over Gabriel’s soft belly. Gabriel let out a relaxed sound, closing his eyes again. He smiled a little and laid over Gabriel’s lap to get comfortable, his freehand tucking under Gabriel’s side for someplace to rest. It was a comfortable quiet; intimate in a non-sexual way. After a time, Gabriel’s hand found Sam’s, their fingers knitting together at his side in a silent thank you. Sam at least felt like he was doing something to help, which made him smile.

-

Sam woke up, half curled on Gabriel’s lap and his legs had found space along side the bed. Gabriel was sitting up and his face had returned to it’s original color and his eyes had life to them again.

“Morning, Sleeping Beauty,” Gabriel said.

“Morning.” Sam returned, rubbing his eyes and ignoring the princess name. “You look better.”

“Much.” Gabriel leaned over and out of the bucket (that Gabriel didn’t actually use for vomiting) he pulled out a handful of green leaves and white berries. “It all started coming out this morning.” Sam blinked at the pile that was dropped back into the bucket. He could only imagine Gabriel spilling up foliage, but Sam was grateful that he hadn’t seen anymore mysterious black substance that had been purged the first time Gabriel had to use their toilet.

Sam stretched out and sighed, his back popping from the way he’d been laying. “How did you eat so much mistletoe without realizing it was in the pie?”

Gabriel shrugged. “Well it was really good pie. You try to not eat an entire Asgardian baked pie in one sitting.”

“I’ll tell Dean not to eat Asgard’s pie.” Sam said and looked behind him, seeing Dean sprawled out on his bed, fast asleep. “Hunt must have been successful.” Gabriel shrugged.

“Hunt, date, what ever you want to call it,” Gabriel said. Sam smiled and pushed himself up to kiss Gabriel’s lips.

“I’m glad you’re better,” Sam said.

Gabriel sighed in a dazed, happy way. “I feel like I should say something about mistletoe and kissing.” Sam rolled his eyes and kissed Gabriel, pushing him back down so he could, lay on top of him.

“No mistletoe jokes for the rest of your life.” Sam told him and Gabriel made a noise that was probably temporary agreement. They snuggled up together until Dean woke up and started complaining about them being all mushy while he was in the same room.

Come Thru (Marvin’s Room Pt. III)

Pairings: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 5700-ish

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of past smut, mentions of death, violence, demon!Dean, good ol’ fashioned dirty talk, make outs, angst, really cruel insulting so please don’t read if that’s a trigger.

Summary: This is part III of Marvin’s Room. Dean’s died, came back as a Dean, slept with the love of his old life while in demon form and now Sam and the reader are on a mission to cure him. It’s a lot of Dean being angry and mean and a lot of the reader wishing he wasn’t

A/N: My KitKat @unadulteratedstorycollector asked for pt. III so I have given into her. This part had the working title of Come Thru (An Interlude) because I’m pretentious, but also because I liked the concept of making this part into like, a  short place where we can hear both Dean’s and the Reader’s thoughts about the situation. But somehow it grew to nearly 6000 words. I’m sorry.

*Italics are meant to be read from the reader’s POV.

Tagging: @theerinpage @iwriteshortstuff @mrswhozeewhatsis @bovaria @abaddonwithyall @ilostmyshoe-79 @winchesterenthusiast @balthazars-muse @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog @deans-colette @but-deans-back-tho @aprofoundbondwithdean @rizlow1 @deandoesthingstome @spnfanficpond @mrsjohnsmith

Originally posted by just-fandom-feelings

Originally posted by carmelasky

Sitting in the dark—in room 7B—was not how Dean imagined things would go. He had bigger and better plans than this. But he let her get to him, and in turn she let Sam get to him. And now, here Dean sits, in the pitch black dark of their bunker, waiting for the inevitable, waiting for what he can only imagine is a half-cocked plan thought up by his brother, and most likely blindly supported by her. Although, Dean isn’t 100% sure what they have planned; he has some ideas though.

Keep reading

3

“Y/N, this is only temporary. We killed the bitch, so it’ll be gone in a day,” Dean said.

“Whatever you say Clark Kent. Hey Sammy, I thought you always would need glasses. Nobody can see from that far up!”

Sam gave you his signature bitch face then smiled when he heard you and Dean bickering in the background.

“Y/N I swear if you make one more hipster joke, I will call Cas so he will smite you!”

xXCharlieXx

Daddy's Little Girl

Imagine you and Sam raising your baby girl together.

Author’s Note: Reader request for “Sam x reader raising their child together fluff.” Not a whole lot of storyline but I threw in a little angst. Mostly just adorable fluff about Sam being a daddy. I hope I didn’t miss anything because I had to rewrite this from memory which really pisses me off but oh well! Would have been up an hour ago, sorry for the delay. Please enjoy and let me know what you think! Warnings: None? Wow that’s a first haha

Forgot to tag: requested by the-fandom-garrison

 I rolled over to face the alarm clock and squinted through the darkness. The greenish glow of the numbers was enough to bring a tear to my eye. 2:30AM. It hadn’t even been a half hour since the last time. I groaned and prayed that the crying noise from the opposite side of the room was just my exhausted imagination. This baby was satisfied by nothing, not even our trip around the house filled with lullabies and stories. I changed her, I rocked her, I fed her, I begged her… nothing was working. I could almost feel the dark bags beginning to form under my eyes from lack of sleep. The sobbing intensified, proof that there was no ignoring my responsibility. Something about that noise made every instinct in me prickle with uneasiness. I had heard some terrible sounds in my years of hunting, but a baby’s tears was the most unsettling.

I swung my feel over the edge of the bed and inhaled deeply, desperate for the strength that I lacked. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could take this. I was never awake any more, and never asleep. To be honest, being a mother was a lot more taxing that I expected. I rubbed my eyes and blindly stumbled towards the other side of the room. When my vision adjusted to the darkness I stopped in my tracks. A large silhouette was blocking my view of the crib, looking like nothing more than tall shadow. I instinctively reached for the knife taped under the changing table to my left, a necessary precaution for a family of hunters. Before my fingers touched the handle of the blade my ears were met by a satisfying noise. Silence. The baby stopped crying and my heart skipped a beat. The figure in front of me turned to the side, their wide arms cradling my child against their chest. It didn’t take long for me to recognize the outline and I sighed in relief. The man’s shaggy hair shaded his face as he bent down to kiss Mary’s head.

“Sam?” He turned to me and placed a finger to his mouth. I could see his teeth reflect the small amount of the light in the room and knew he was smiling. Renewed hope pumped through my veins as I drew close to the two loves of my life. Sam was rocking our child with gentleness strange to his towering frame.

“You’re home early, I didn’t expect you till tomorrow.” I whispered to him and wrapped my arms around his back, nestling my face into the soft fabric of his shirt. His smell made me feel weak but his presence made me strong. The baby in his arms was fast asleep, her littlefingers clutching at the blanket she was swaddled in.

“We finished up early. Thought I’d surprise you and Mary.” Sam pulled from my grip to turn and plant a kiss on my lips. I wished I had the energy for something more than a peck. I held his jaw in my hands for a moment, my forehead rested against his with eyes closed.

“I missed you.” He responded with another kiss and shifted the baby in between us. We both took a moment to stare down at her in mutual amazement. Maybe it was my imagination but it seemed like she was already developing features similar to her father’s. Little dimples were forming on her small cheeks, like those of the smiling man in front of me.

“She’s growing so fast, I don’t want to miss a thing.” I glanced up at Sam and saw the bittersweet adoration in his eyes. He was going to be such a good father, even if he was on the road more lately.

“You won’t. She always waits for her Daddy.”

*

Nine months later I sat in the living room with my laptop on the table across from me. The internet connection was spotty, but I could still see Sam’s face moving and hear Dean somewhere in the background.

“Can you see us?” I raised Mary up a little higher in my lap and she giggled at the screen in front of her. Her dark brown hair was starting to curl on the ends where it had grown longer. I hoped Sam could see all those little details that had changed since he was home last.

“Hey baby girl, Daddy’s here. You’re getting so big!” The video feed skipped a beat and made Mary’s eyes grow wide.

“Hey kid, it’s Uncle Dean. You remember me? I’m the fun one.” Dean fought his way into the frame but Sam was too preoccupied with talking to his daughter to notice.

“I miss you so much. I can’t wait to get home and never put you down… I’m going to bring you some surprises to open.” Mary cooed and I kissed her cheek, pleased that she seemed to recognize her father. Secretly I was terrified that one day Sam would come home to a child who didn’t know who he was. While he was on the road she was growing like a weed, each day less familiar with the man who she so resembled. I never tucked her into bed without a story of her daddy and what a hero he was. I filled her learning mind with his praises.

“Well speaking of surprises, we have something to show you, don’t we Mary?” I grinned at Sam and rose out of the chair to kneel on the carpet behind us. There was at least two feet between where I stood and the laptop. The infant’s fingers gripped mine tightly as I raised her up on her wobbled legs and held her erect. Sam’s face was as close to the screen and it could get.

“Can she walk? Did she walk without me?” His voice was anxious but I didn’t respond to him right away, and instead stepped forward slightly with the child. Little feet copied my moments, hands still held up by mine. “That’s it! Come here baby girl, come see daddy.” Sam’s voice was sweet as honey as he coaxed the infant from miles away. She giggled and stared at the video in fascination, one foot creeping forward again. I could feel her desire to go on further in the way she leaned slightly, but I wasn’t going to move this time.

“Go on honey, go see Daddy.” The chair in front of the laptop as only a foot away now, an easy distance even for someone new to walking. Mary pulled at my fingers in frustration and kept her eyes on the man ahead. When I resisted her, she stepped one leg out. Her body wobbled once before she did the same with the opposite, and soon she was too far to cling to my support. In that beautiful moment she released me and went forward. Just like that she took another clunky step on her own and grabbed the chair. I felt pangs of fear and sadness with my pride, I wasn’t ready to let her go. I could see the pixelated tear running down Sam’s cheek and knew he felt the same.

*

When awoke I was immediately aware of the empty space beside me. I grasped at the sheets and searched for any sign of my husband.

“Sam?” I had to consciously think back to the day before and try to recall whether or not he was home. The nights of being alone and then having him to hold me all blurred together sometimes. I pulled the oversized shirt tighter to my cold body as I walked to the window. Through the fluttering curtains I could see the shiny edges of the Impala parked below. I wasn’t imagining things, Sam was here somewhere.

I crept through the house and wondered if he and Dean were drinking downstairs. I passed in front of Mary’s room and peeked inside as I was used to doing. Her room was littered with trinkets and stuffed animals, most of which gifts from her father. I don’t think there was ever a hunt that Sam returned from empty handed. When my eyes drifted to the twin bed in the corner I folded my arms and smiled.

Two long legs were hanging off the edge, their owner barely fitting on the mattress. Our child was fast asleep in the arms of an equally unconscious Sam. A book titled “Celtic Lore” was gripped in one of his hands, he must have been reading to her. She loved his story times and always begged him for more. I hated the thought that one day we’d have to explain to Mary that those stories weren’t just stories. Someday she would have to find out that her father’s tales were actually true. Dean advised us to do it soon, while she was still young, but we wanted to enjoy this innocence just a little longer.

I moved quietly across the floor and pulled the wrinkled blanket up over the two of them. I wasn’t going to wake Sam up, not tonight. There was never a better reason for me to have to sleep alone than this.

*

When Dean offered to take Mary out for ice cream I hesitated. As an Uncle he was fantastic, but I still balked at the idea of him being in full care of my daughter. If she grew up loving Metallica and refusing to eat anything but pie Sam would have a fit. Eventually I surrendered to Dean’s reassurances and watched as he bucked an excited little girl into the backseat of the Impala. Mary had probably ridden in that vehicle more than I had lately. I ran my finger along Sam’s hunting knife that he had left on the table. The cold steel felt distantly familiar. I picked it up by the handle and passed it between my palms, weighing its balance and length. I had long ago traded my hunting gear for kitchen utensils and cleaning supplies. I missed the freedom of the road, the challenge, the adrenaline. In my dreams I was still a hunter running alongside the Winchesters through hell, hounds, and gunfire. It was selfish to want that life back, but I did. 

“You miss it?” Startled, I placed the blade back on the counter quickly. Sam was standing behind me, eyebrows raised. His fingers worked to button up the shirt that was thrown over his shoulders. I could tell he was concerned, his lips pressed tightly in a line and eyes searching.

“Oh, no. I’m just remembering. Wonder if I’ve still ‘got it’, you know.” He didn’t seem convinced and stepped foreword. Two hands came to rest on my waist to hold me still while he examined me. I was just wearing my robe, but he looked at me like I was dressed in something designer. After all these years together redness still rose to my cheeks under that hungry gaze.

“I don’t believe you.” I shrugged and straightened his collar, buttoning the little circles he had missed. He watched me work my way up his torso. I could feel his breath on my hair and see his chest expanding slowly. I wished every day went this way.

“Y/N…” He stopped my hands and turned my chin upwards. I could hear the pleading in his voice. “Be honest with me.” He swallowed and grazed my cheek with his thumb. “Are you happy like this? Raising Mary at home, me being gone so much?” He broke eye contact and stared down at the hand that held one of mine. I could sense the sadness in his touch as his fingers caressed my knuckles.

“Of course I’m happy, Sam. How could you ask that? I love our little family.” He smiled at my words but I could tell that he was still chewing the inside of his lip.

“I feel like I stole something from you… now that you don’t hunt with us anymore.” A pang of regret twisted in my chest. He was absolutely right, I felt like a piece of me was missing. The transition from a hunter into a mother hadn’t been everything I had hoped for. Someone had to stay with Mary, and Sam was always on edge whenever I was in danger. He never hesitated to remind me that us both hunting was selfish. We could leave our daughter an orphan. I tried to act like he wasn’t speaking exactly what was on my mind.

“Oh don’t say that. I knew what having the baby meant, Sam. Besides, it’s our responsibility to stay safe for her. Do you really want Dean to be our parental back up plan?” Sam couldn’t help but laugh at that, even though the suggestion that we might both die was dark. We were used to the idea.

“Still. I don’t want you to be unhappy. I wish I could be home more lately.” He kissed my forehead gently, his lips pausing to stay pressed to the skin there. A hundred nights alone was worth this moment.

“I don’t want to be the absent father… I don’t want to be my father.” He almost whispered the words, as if he was afraid they might come true if said aloud. With my head tucked protectively into his neck, I could feel him swallow back the emotions that still rose about his childhood. When he found out I was pregnant that was his greatest fear. He was terrified of raising a baby in this world, in this life.  

"You are nothing, nothing, like your father.” I made sure to look him straight in the eyes as I spoke. His brow was pulled together in sadness, jaw clenched so tightly that I could see every outline of the tendons there.

"You are the best Daddy in the whole world, just ask Mary. She loves you so much, and more importantly, she knows how much you love her too.” Sam sighed and pulled me tightly to his chest, arms nearly crushing me with love. He didn’t seem to know how to respond so just I ran my hands over the muscles of his back and rubbed his tense shoulders till he relaxed into my embrace.

*

A while later I heard the Impala in the driveway, followed by a crash as the front door flew open and Mary bolted inside. Her brown hair streamed behind her and ice cream stains still patched her mouth and the front of her dress. I’d have to talk to Dean about that. As soon as her wide eyes caught sight of Sam she ran to him, and he dropped to his knees to catch her in his arms.

“Daddy! Uncle Dean let me have two scoops!” The man in the doorway cleared his throat and blushed in guilt. I glared at him but Sam could only laugh and pick Mary up under her arms. As he raised her high above his head, laughter as pure as the sound of church bells echoed throughout the room. Mary’s words were rushed as she recounted every single detail of their trip to the store. I could tell that the amazement on Sam’s face as he listened was genuine, he really did want to hear all of her story.

My heart swelled with pride as I watched them together. I didn’t know how we were going to raise this little girl, who was more angel than the angels I knew. Somehow we would do it. Somehow we, three parentless hunters, would give her the childhood we never had.

“I’m so glad you’re home Daddy.” Mary threw her arms around his neck in the widest hug she could give his massive frame. Dean and I were the only ones that could see the tears glistening on Sam’s cheeks as he responded after a long pause.

“Me too baby girl, me too.”

anonymous asked:

Hey... Do you like destiel?

i suggest you get a blanket and some food and turn on some music because boy you asked for something

YES BECAUSE THEy lOVE EACH OTHER AND IN THE FIRST FEW EPISODES OF SEASON 4 

Y’KNOW PAMELA WAS LIKE “DEAN I HAVE TO TOUCH SOMETHING THE ANGEL TOUCHED” AND SHE WENT DOWN TO GRAB SOMETHING THA T MA DE E AN JUMP, SH E HON EST LY THOUGH T CA S HAD T OU CHED TH A T.

AND THEN  AN D THEN URIEL WAS AL L LIKE “CAS HAS A W EAKNESS FOR Y OU”

and when dean said “cas the la st person who l ook ed at me like that i got laid” and cas. continued. starING AT HIM ,LIK E THAT I SIMPLY CANNOT WITH THESE TW O

AND BBU WAIT THERE IS MORE THERE IS INDEED PLENTY MO R E. THIS RIGHT HERE REMEMBER NAIOMI? THAT BITCH? YEEAHH

ok like this was over heavens command *at least cas thought* and it was just a human and he was willing to take whatever punishment they gave to him for dean even though he’s seen what they did to lucifer, to gadreel, etc. he kNOWS it wouldn’t be a walk in a flower field and he gOES FOR IT

Dean used to not believe in angels. He would laugh at Sam’s dedication, so we know he’s not just talking about cas as a guardian. He needs him. He’s his friend. One of the only ones he has left. [also friendly reminder the scene was originally scripted as, “we need you cas, I love you” but they were like “oh its too homo we can’t]

and guess what

he fUCKING DROPS THE BLADE LIKE I CANNOT WITH YOU TWO I

nEXT LETS TALK ABOUT THE DATE CAS WENT ON BC WOW

“it’s cOMING DEAN’S COMING OUT THE SHOW IS GOING HOMO”

"Ohhhhhh B BO Y Y I ”

LOOK AT THE HESITATION WE ALL KNOW HE WANTED TO SAY IT

AND THEN HE WAS JUST LIKE “OH WELL I’M ALREADY AT IT MIGHT AS WELL SEE SOME GOODS”

DEAn that is so hetero of  y o u tha t i s s so o

hey look dean loves cas so much he’s doing what he thinks is right for cas not what he wants yoU TWO ARE SO IN LOVE

LOOK HOW CUTE THESE TWO ARE THEY CANNOT SAY GOODBYE WITHOUT BEING ALL FLUSTERED AND SUCH THEY ARE ACTUAL BOYFRIENDS

NEXT STOP: third wheel sam (that poor boy) [half of the gifs arent working i’m just gonna explain them and then hope u guys can see them]

THIS TOP ONE is the cutest bc like, dean is trying to do work and cas doesn’t care he wants dean back he misses dean and like

thats so

homo

Ok that was very straight forward of cas sex is a natural thiing its ok and thEN DEAn

Wow u are professional partners with cas and u can’t handle him sharing his personal life shame dean shame on u

OH DEAN YOU JEALOUS BOY, right in frONT OF SAM AND LOOK AT SAMS FACE I SIMPLY DIED

sam is v confused considering the fact that dean used to not believe in angels and now he’s like “what is going on in ur thoughts sir u are not my dearest brother dean u are an intruder”

but dean and cas are staring at each other and sam haD TO COUGH TO GET THE ATTENTION BACK ON THE RESEARCH

I like this bc all sam was talkING ABout was syrup and dean gets protective of this guy because he can change his mind and start liking strawberry syrup god s am

sam was in this gif

SAM WAS IN THIS SCENE BUT OF COURSE ALL WE SE E HERE IS C AS WINKING AT DEAN OF COURSE 

it’s even funnier when you realize everyone does that to this scene

and the best part is that Jared knows.

Like misha is such a cheerleader for destiel, but jared k nows too, and i think that’s beautiful

Okay now, let’s just point out some important script and character dialogue bC WOW

 

i feel u, balthy

wOw alright thats v subtle of u, crowley

gABE U DID NOT

Wow but meg u kissed hhim oh

speaking of which, I’d like to point out dean’s face in the background of this gif:

 

OK DEAN ThAt’S NOT JEALOUSY

bUT THEN

tru tho i feel u sam

U mean ur gay for each other

what is this implying?

~follow fore more soft destiel innuendos~

seriously though

“I don’t know” bITCH WE KNOW YOU WERE LOOKING AT THAT DAMN GORGEOUS FACE OF HIS

SEE

NOW FOR CUTE AND COMFORTING BOYFRIENDS WHO WORRY ABOUT ONE ANOTHER 

Ok cas ur a fuckin angel and god told his angels to love humans more than him and so ur supposed to think they can do anything and this is saying cas knows dean’s broken and he knows he’s trying his hardest but cas loves him for that and he tells dean what we all knew dean needed to hear god bless

cas supports dean and i think that’s cute bc even though his brother’s furious cas knows dean wants to save everyone and this shows that cas pays attention to deans habits and values

LOOK HOW ATTENTIVE

LOOK HOW HE HOLDS HIS NECK GENTLY

LOOK HOW HE LOOKS AT HIS EYES

LOOK HOW HE DRIFTS BACK, NEARLY HEARTBROKEN THAT CAS IS HURT

LOOK AT THE GENTLE

LOOK AT THE LOOOOVEEEE

REMember when cas said “we had an appointment” and back with sam, dean was having a fight and cas was there for him and cas was human so he met dean at the appropriate time and look at the sparkle in dean’s eyes look how loved he feels llOOK HOW HIS FACE LITERALLY IS JUST LIT UP LIKE A FUCKING CHRISTMAS TREE

He wants to go in but he hasn’t seen cas in forever and he’s just admiring him from afar this is literally a fan manip but its actually a part of the show hhhhhhhhggffffs

anD TH IS IS DEANS FACE WHEN HE SEES HIM:

ARE U FUCKING KIDDING ME THAT IS A FLUFF DESTIEL FANFIC AU

dean wow that was v quick of u good job protecting ur boyfriend and u didn’t eveen get any blood on him how sweet

warning this is gonna get sad as fuck and i’m gonna start crying here so go get ur tissues or scroll fast bc this shit is more heart shattering than anything ever tbh and i cry thinking about it and i feel empty when i look at this here we go

Thank u for staying with me as i pour out my emotions th is is the face of a broken man. This is the face of someone who found out a loved one died. This is the face of a man lost in the world, who has no guide or support. This is dean’s face when he thinks cas doesn’t know who he is.

oh and heres misha’s take on this

This is the face of someone who witnessed the life pour out of a loved one. This is the face of someone who, although not dead, had the life poured out of him too. This is the face you get when you loose your whole world within a single moment. This is dean when he knows Castiel remembers nothing about him. Cas isn’t there. There isn’t a way to get him back. Look how torn dean is. He loved that man. There were so many things he wanted to say that he fears he can’t now.

Just look how worried he is. Look at how his hand slips across his shoulder. Listen to the way his face yells “this wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for me. It’s all my fault. Everything’s my fault.” He’s pinning cas’s doings on him because he doesn’t believe cas could possibly ever do anything wrong. In his eyes, cas is perfection. Cas is something to be valued and protected and if he gets hurt, it’s dean’s fault.

This is terribly sad to me. Cas is in there. He has to watch as the leviathans use his very own hands to throw clenched fists at the one he loves. Cas was in there. On another note, dean was there. He had to listen to this. He had to feel the fear, the anger, the sadness, the loss, the all around fucked up feelings that this one line produced. The leviathans controlled cas. He has no idea what they might do to him or cas if he’s in there. He felt the disgusted sense you get when something doesn’t feel right. Not only are they using cas and telling him that he’s dead, they’re saying it in a cheerful way, bearing a smile at him. He had no idea cas was in there, and cas had no idea how to get up and tell him and that kills me and it’s burned into my thoughts and the all around filthy emotions I got watching this will never escape me.

Cas looked at dean for this. He didn’t know how long he’d be left. It’s more of a longing look in his eyes. You know what it reminds me of?

Dean looks at cas, silently begging for cas to object him going away

Whenever dean does something life threatening cas seams to go with him

under any condition

It’s like the only thing cas lives for is dean, and it’s not beautiful. It’s terrible. But it’s true. That’s love. Throwing your life away for another within a matter of seconds. I’m not saying it’s a smart decision, I’m just saying it’s pretty obvious cas puts dean first

Dean would do the same, of course.

Dean’s on the verge of tears. He fucked up. His brother was dying, he tried to fix it, and now some demon is twisting screws into his head. What makes him feel better? Cas.

Sorry for the tears. Here, have this:

remember cas telling dean he’d watch over him,

and he did?

this is love. There’s no other acception, definition, word to describe or label it. If this isn’t love, then I’m pretty sure we’re living in the pits of hell.

“Cas get out of my ass”

“I was never in your-”

iT STOPPED THERE BC CAS WAS IN HIS ASS AND HE CANNOT LIE AND THAT IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, UNDERRATED LINE IN ANY SHOW EVER

LOOK AT THAT SMILE

lOOK AT THE LITTLE SMILE

LOOK AT HIM HIDING HIS HOMO IN FRONT OF HIS BROTHER

LOOK AT SAM THIRD WHEELING

yeah i bet u do cas

dEAN YOU ARE SO HAPPY YOU WENT THROUGH SO MUCH FINDING UR BOYFRIEND AND NOW U HAVE HIM AND THAT IS JUST THE CUTEST

You’re hot (shit) different

He’s so willing to fix any problem between him and cAS AND ITS SO CUTE DEANN U WORK SO HARD FOR HIM

not a boner not a boner not a bONER

fuck

I couldn’t get the gif that went before this i was so mad but he just looked up like “is it ok that I fix ur tie u can push me away whenever” and i thought it was just adorable

Friendly reminder we don’t know what happened after that uwu

Yeah ok dean

u haven’t even had ur own room yet on this point in the show

and u are carefully folding his coat

actually, here’s jared talking about that, and Jensen talking about how important it is to consider scripting on that

And I’m just gonna talk bc I don’t have a gif but remember when, to apologize, cas bought dean porn and refused to leave without pie?

yeah ok that is the cutest fuckin thing i swear i just

and if u r still unsure then here take this:

he fucking licks his lips

“totally not checkin out ur mouth das gay”

~prolonged eye contact~

This is so cute bc it looks like cas is saying “hey bb just checkin to make sure u ok

and dEANS EYES LITERALLY BURST WITH LOVE FOR THOSE 3 SECONDS and then he’s back in work mode and i jusT

U 2 love each other

dON’T CRASH THE FUCKIN CAR DEAN JFC

LOOK AT DEANS FACE

LOOK AT THE SHOULDER PAT

LLOOK HOW HAPPY

THIS IS DEAN WHEN CAS IS NEAR HIM THAT IS ADORABLE AND SO VERY GAY

and u know that personal space stuff?

like this:

well misha was kind of doing it with jensen here

and then

and here’s some links bc I’m cool (x) (x)