dean my heart breaks for you

anonymous asked:

The thought of Dean regressing back to his old "classic dean" behavior as a way of handling Cas's death breaks my damn heart:-( Bottling it right back up. Cursing himself for even daring to feel. UGH this is gonna be rough.


I mean, of course he’s gonna be distraught in 13.01. That’s just not something you brush off and keep pushing through because you really don’t have another choice. Like in s7. I think there’s gonna be some similarities to very early s7, but definitely not as long, and definitely not as self-destructive.

(Sorry, I’m mired in s7 on the TNT loop right now, currently watching Charlie break into Dick Roman’s office… and being awkward with the security guard, but s7 just slowly dismantles Dean’s entire support system in life starting with Cas, and then proceeding to take pretty much everything away from him for the first 2/3 of the season. Not only that, the Leviathan are loose and gradually taking over the world, all the while specifically targeting Sam and Dean, making it harder and harder for them to do ANYTHING… and things didn’t even begin turning around for them until 7.17… I don’t think it’s gonna be anywhere NEAR that horrible this time around, and DEFINITELY not that long-lasting)

I think even if it’s similar to Grieving Dean we’ve seen in the past, it’s gonna be noticeably different this time around in some significant ways.

(but I’m not gonna speculate on exactly how, because that’s a fool’s errand :P)

I Knew I Loved You

Summary: Dean dreams of his ideal love and makes a wish. Then years later he has an accident and his love is there. But everyone thinks he dreamt it for his head trauma. Was it real or was he dreaming?

Pairing: Firefighter Dean x Cas, AU,  (Destiel), Sam, Benny, Ash, Garth and Gabriel.

Word Count: 4585 ish words.

Prompt: Savage Garden - I Knew I Loved You.

Warning: NSFW,Car accident, Dean fighting for his life, Angst, sadness, loneliness, grief, love at first sight, lost, heart break, love, smut, Male receiving, happiness, explicit language, explicit sexual scene.

Tagging: @demondeanismybaby @one-more-spn-fan-girl  @kas-not-cas @deanwinchester-smut @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @thethingwewrite @darthdeziewok @jensen-jarpad @supernatural-jackles @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog @donnaintx @juanitadiann @just-another-busy-fangirl

Beta: @one-more-spn-fan-girl  thank you for Beta-ing my story. It’s much appreciated.

A/N: I wrote this for “What is love challenge”. This is my first Dean and Cas story so I hope you like it. When I put in for this challenge I always thought of Dean and Cas for this song. Sorry I have a thing for Dean being a firefighter I think he would be sexy as.  Comments always appreciated.

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Dating Dean Winchester would include:

Originally posted by proof-is-in-the-pudding

·         Gruff morning hedgehog hair

·         Running his hands all over you

·         Whispering sweet things in your ear

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Shock Horror

(Gif source: x)

Characters- Dean x Reader, Sam
Summary- Dean comes back from a witch hunt not quite himself. You do your best to help, and hope that it’s enough.
Word Count- 1,889
Warnings- Angst, Fluff, Language.
Beta- @jpadjackles  **re-edited**
A/N- Prompt: ‘Caught Up In You’ by 38 Special Requested by @anon. I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think! Also, thank you all so much for 2.5k followers! I love y’all so much <3

As you crouch in front of the open passenger door, you look over the man in the bench seat. The man you see is far removed from the usual Dean Winchester you knew. He’s eerily quiet, sitting stiffly as he stares, unseeing, out of the windshield. The impala is parked in the bunker’s garage, but he just sits there, motionless, except for the occasional lethargic blink.

When Sam and Dean came back from their hunt, you expected them to be in one of two moods. The first and most preferred was the giddy excitement of a job well done, beers and pie all around. The second was less desired, the quiet thoughtfulness of a rough hunt.

Right now you would take the quiet over this.

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One Blink or Two

Title: One Blink or Two

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 4,710

Warning: The feelings are going to hit you like a freight train

A/N: I woke up from a nap and in 4.5 hours I cranked it out and just had to publish it. Sorry for any errors. Enjoy!!

Summary: You are an emergency room nurse receiving a patient from a local care facility. All you’ve been told is that he is a 29 year old male in an unresponsive coma for the last 3 years, and about 20 minutes ago his heart started to race uncontrollably. As the rest of your staff work on getting him transferred to the hospital gurney, start an IV, and getting him hooked up to the heart monitor, you speak with one of the paramedics that brought him in.

Day 1

“Alright, tell me what you know.”

“29 year old male named Dean Winchester. Was in a car accident with his father and brother three years ago. Car versus semi, and he’s the only one to make it. He’s been in a non-responsive coma this entire time. He has a feeding tube, but can breath normally on his own. A nurse said she went in to give him a bed bath and his heart just ‘went nuts’.”

You could tell by the tone of his voice he was leaving something out. “And? What else?”

“Unofficially, that nurse is a bitch. She is one of the meanest people I’ve ever met and we hate having to deal with her when we go there. Knowing her she probably shook him around and roughed him up.”

“Lovely.” You gave him a tight smile and moved back to your patient.

“Dean, my name is Y/N. I’m going to be taking care of you okay.”

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S10 Countdown: 46 days - or
The one scene that cuts me into tiny pieces with pain and beauty - SN 01X12


For the bittersamgirlclubTop 5 Challenge: Top 5 Most Heartbreaking Sam Moments. Well, thanks to the BSGC for this cruel and unusual prompt. If you’re interested in my thoughts on these five horrible moments then by all means, read on…

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Demons in the Dark

Pairing: Moc!Dean x reader

Warnings: Angst, fluff if you squint real hard

Word Count: 1.2k

A/N:  Trying desperately to wrap up my 30 days of Jensen and Dean. This is fic number TWENTY-SIX. The line requested was, “I guess that’s what I do. Let down the people I love.” by @plaidstiel-wormstache I know you asked for fluff, and you’ll get it after we muddle through a bit of angst. I apologize, love, but thanks for celebrating with me! This idea popped into my head after seeing THIS gifset. Season 9, Mark of Cain, Dean breaks my heart. He holds a piece of my heart. I had to write this after seeing that gifset. He had to know he wasn’t alone that the things he told himself in the dark, were absolutely and utterly untrue.

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Preferences: Giving Him the Cold Shoulder

Requested by Anon~ Thanks for the cute request :)


Originally posted by inacatastrophicmind

At first, Dean was deeply concerned why you suddenly began to ignore him. Then, a week later, it became very annoying. 

“What’s wrong with you?”, Dean finally asked, impatience in his voice.

You crossed your arms. “You know well why, Dean Winchester.”

Wordlessly, you point to the empty pie tin on the kitchen counter. “That was my pie, Dean.”

With a sigh, Dean turned around, rolling his eyes.


Originally posted by artemiskitsune

Sam was pretty upset when you gave him the cold shoulder. He racked his brain for hours trying to remember what could have set you off.

“Y/N, are you mad because I threw out your old pizza?”

You glare at your boyfriend with mallace. “Yes, Sam. You know very damn well that the pizza was still good.”

Sam runs a hand over his face. “What if I order you another one?”

Grinning, you nod, all your anger melting away.


Originally posted by caa-s

When you ignored Cas, he felt like his heart was breaking. You were his everything, and he can’t figure out what upset you so much.

“Y/N, why are you upset with me?” Cas asked you, his blue eyes swarming with sadness.

Without saying anything, you point to your slightly puckered lips. The realization that he forgot to kiss you good morning came to mind as he sighed in relief. Slightly annoyed, he still places a gentle kiss on your lips.

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12x10: an Episode in “Friendship”

This episode … this freaking episode! All about angels’ relationships with humans, whether it be their vessels, their charges or their actual love interests, it all dealt with how they felt about one another. Yeah, yeah—it could be boiled down to the careful tread between the earthly and the divine; but there was more to it then that … a focus here that was just too specific to be accidental: the mirroring between Ishim and Castiel.

They were the traditional good vs. bad. Like most of these types of stories, the good guy and the bad guy are very similar in a lot of ways, almost exactly the same if given just a simple glance, but it’s usually one small event, one poor choice that turns one of them towards darkness. In this case, it was heartbreak that brought out the evil in Ishim. He fell in love with a human so deeply, that he shared everything with her. He told her all of heaven’s secrets, but when she didn’t necessarily return his affection, he grew enraged and retaliated.

Now, we could say this is its own story and nothing like Castiel’s time on earth nor his experience with humans, except—Ishim himself made this connection!  He said, as Castiel was beaten and bloody on the floor: “So now, I am going to cure you of your human weakness … the same way that I cured my own” and then, he heads for Dean.

Ishim “cured” his human weakness by breaking the heart of his love, because she did the same to him … so if that’s the case, what is he implying about Dean Winchester? What is he saying the man is to Castiel? Whose heart is he planning to break next?

And one could say, “Dean is Castiel’s friend, so his death would be heartbreaking in and of itself” which, yes—of course that’s true; however, did we notice the use of the word “friend” in this episode? Specifically when they were talking about Benjamin and his vessel. Dean was surprised to find that Benjamin was in a female vessel—so Castiel explained that the angel and his vessel weren’t just “partners” in some divine deal, they were … [long pause] “friends”.  Hell, Cas couldn’t even find the words himself, so Sam had to be the one to fill in the blanks, and even as he said it, there seemed to be a slanted emphasis to it all, as if “friends” had a deeper, more profound, and special meaning, apart from the norm. So for Ishim to take Castiel’s “friend” away, specifically Dean … seems a bit more significant, especially when mirrored with his own romantic heartbreak.

According to Ishim, human weakness is love.

To highlight this, everything in this episode was coated with a sense of something more happening between friends than just friendship. The bickering between Dean and Cas … the way Dean charged into that diner and scooted in right next to his “buddy”, just so he could stare down the other angel and play “whose got the bigger blade”. The way Dean kept saying things like “Well, Cas knows who his true friends are “ and “Cas, is different now.”  He defended him, even when he was mad at what he did to Billie– he stood by his side and ran to his rescue and helped him to his feet, touched his shoulder, brought him a beer—which is of course, a very touching Winchester-gesture. Yes, Sam did similar things, but whereas Sam also defended Cas, he was more focused on mending Dean and Cas’s relationship. He worried about how his brother was reacting to their friend, and he even playfully mocked the way Dean just couldn’t stay away from Cas in the end. Yes, Sam was defending someone who has become part of his family, but Dean was defending someone who has gotten under his skin and become part of him. There was a difference.

Overall, this episode felt like a lover’s quarrel, healed by risks of bigger problems … a common enemy, and the fear of losing each other. It was a reflection of what could happen if they allow themselves to become greedy with one another, and a lesson in how important it is to always love and respect each other … even when you feel like the other is wrong. This was more than just an episode about Castiel’s past … it was an episode about his “would be” future, if he hadn’t found the right way to love a human.

After all—Acabel had it right all those years ago when he said: Humans are good … how could one know them and not love them?

The Arrangement (Part 16)

Originally posted by frozen-delight

Summary: Dean responds to Sam’s news. The two of you pay a visit to Samuel, who lashes out. Secrets are revealed and threats are made, leaving you reeling. You and Dean discuss the future.

Pairing: AU!Dean x Reader

Word Count: 3,600

Warnings: mentions of illness/heart attack, language, verbal attack/abuse, offensive name-calling, minor anxiety, lots of shouting, implications of smut

A/N: This is it, guys. I can’t believe it. This is really bittersweet for me. It’s been an incredible ride, and I’m so thankful for all of you that have shown your love and appreciation - you’re the reason this has kept going. 16 parts and 45,000 words (holy SHIT) over nearly three months, and we’re finally at the conclusion. THERE WILL BE AN EPILOGUE but this is the last official part. Enjoy everyone. Thank you for all your support.

A/N/N: Special shout-out to @deanssweetheart23 for being a sounding board, a cheerleader, and for being my beta especially for this last part. She’s the reason these parts have been coming out so frequently/regularly so y’all should be thankful. (also go read her stuff it’s incredible) And seriously, A- you’re such an amazing motivator and inspiration. Love you, dude.

Find the Masterlist for this series HERE

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Who’s been calling Cas...?

So Dean, what was that about you said about Cas not answering our phone calls? Because unless you’ve started referring to yourself in the plural…

Oh, and Cas clearly looks at or listens to all of those messages, as he said before, since there are two messages alongside one “new” message. Because I needed my heart to break just a little bit more.


Okay… after crying for half an hour, I forced myself to rewatch the scene. I noticed that after Lucifer killed Cas, Sam’s face was one of disbelief but Dean’s was full of absolute anguish.

Both Jared and Jensen are amazing actors so I don’t think it was an accident. Sam lost his friend, but to Dean it was more than that.

Jensen reacted like Dean had his soul mate taken away, and whether or not you ship destiel, that’s pretty much what happened.

He lost that “profound bond” he shared with Castiel and you can clearly see the pain on his face.

Even though this episode tore me apart, I have to applaud the writers and the actors for such a heart-breaking, but amazing, episode.

(Also, I don’t know how people manage to get gifs so quickly so this was the best I could do, sorry)

The Arrangement: Part 2

Title:  The Arrangement: Part 2

Summary:  He’s a mechanic. She’s a lonely woman with more money than she knows what to do with. Fate brings them together and sparks fly. But only for six weeks. That’s the arrangement.

Author: Dean’s Dirty Little Secret

Characters:  Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Word Count: 2421

Warnings: Language, drinking, angst

Author’s Notes:  This is part two of a multi-part series. Read Part 1 here. Shifts between multiple points of view.

Originally posted by im-bigbrother-dean

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Were You Try to Piss Me Off?

Pairing:  Dom!Sam x Sub!Reader (Female)

Summary:   Sam and the Reader have been dancing around a kink they both share, so the reader pisses him off to see that side of him again.

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: Dirty talk, Language (probably say the f word like 200 times.) LOTS OF SMUT, OH MY CHUCK! Like a dom/sub relationship, fingering, oral (male receiving), sex, Angry!Sam. LIKE THIS IS SO DIRTY LOOK AWAY.

A/N: This is soooooo dirty. I was given a prompt and I don’t even know where I went with it. I’m so sorry. ANYWAY, this is for @kas-not-cas 2.5K Dialogue Challenge, and my prompt was: “Oh so you think I’m cute when I get angry? Well, get ready because I’m about to get gorgeous!” 

A/N 2: ALSO BIG BIG BIG SHOUT OUT TO MY BETA @highonpastries without her encouragement I honestly would never have posted this work of trash, so make sure you send her love!

(GIFs are not mine!)

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Drunken Confession

Characters: Dean Winchester, Reader (Y/N Y/L/N)

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1.9k-ish

Summary: The Reader confesses to Dean. 

Warnings: None really. Just a bit of fluff :) 

Author’s Note: Hey guys! This is my entry for  @winchester-writes Rose’s Birthday Drinking Challenge!! My prompt: Republic Tequila - “Y'know know, they’re all ‘Well…you gotta drink too.” it’ll be bolded in the fic. I hope you guys like it!!!

Drunken Confession

I’m not that much of a drinker.

Usually, it was Sam and I that had to drag Dean’s drunken ass back to the Impala after he made a complete idiot out of himself in front of the bar’s waitress.

It was never me.

But tonight was different. Especially when the feelings you’ve been harboring deep inside your core for the green eyed Winchester were finally reaching maximum overload.

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You left us alone. Cause dad was just a shell. His perfect wife? Gone. Our perfect mom, the perfect family it was gone. And I-I had to be more than just a brother I had to be a father, and I had to he a mother, to keep him safe. And that wasn’t fair and I couldn’t do it.
—  Dean Winchester breaking my heart