dean is loyal to the people he loves

holytrenchcoatedsubtextchuck  asked:

I follow you pretty well (your meta is awesome btw) but I can't remember if you've answered this or not? So would you prefer Cas to come back in the first ep of season 13 or after a few? I'm torn because on the one hand, I want to see him asap and if he comes back immediately, we're sure to get an intimate private moment between Cas and Dean, which IMO is how Dean would have to express his feelings for the first time (I don't think he'd admit his love for Cas around Sam at first) BUT 1/2

2/2 on the other hand, if Cas doesn’t come back right away, we get pining Dean and possibly him becoming the rest of the way comfortable with himself regarding his feelings for Cas. Not to mention supportive Sam, possibly comforting “I know how you felt about him” Sam, and of course a little bit of resentful Dean with regard to Jack. I simply cannot decide!

I am LEANING towards our Cas not coming back for a few episodes. I want to see Dean REALLY grieve - unlike in season 7 where they fucked that up. And I want to meet Alt!Cas and…god can you imagine Dean talking about HIS Cas to Alt!Cas????

“What was he like, this other Castiel of yours?”

Dean looks away, getting wistful. “He was like you at first, all about the orders and the mission and then…something changed. He…saw something in…” (Dean can’t bear to say Cas saw something in him. “In humanity and he took our side. He was loyal, and reckless and fierce and dorky and weird. He was kind. He cared about people more than any other angel we ever met and he was willing to…he did die protecting the people he…he loved.”

AND THEN WE CRY FOREVER.

Just Can’t Let Go

Originally posted by frozen-delight

This is for @impalaimagining Concert Challenge! I got the song Hate To Love You-Karmin, with pairing, Dean x Reader.

Characters: Y/n, Dean

Pairing: Dean x Y/n (GENDER NEUTRAL READER)

Warnings: Angst, toxic relationship, kinda shitty reader, not really cheating but you could kinda consider it that I guess?? Just basically all angst. Sad Dean

Word count: 1229

Summary: Dean knows he should leave, knows he should let Y/n go. But the love he has drags him back, no matter the hurt Y/n puts him through.

A/N: Ok, so here’s a shitload of angst…sorry!! But I was gonna do a regular arguing fic, but then this popped into my head cos of the song and I was like ‘let’s go with it!’. Hope u like it!!!

Tagged peeps: @waywardsons-imagines @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname @sallyp-53 @salvatorexwinchester @helvonasche @notnaturalanahi @wayward-mirage @riversong-sam @nerdflash @miss-miep @impala-dreamer @unknown-chronicles @chelsea072498 @deals-with-demons @plaidstiel-wormstache @impalaimagining @deathtonormalcy56 @the-latina-trickster @aingealcethlenn @squirrels-angels-and-moose @meganwinchester1999 @cubs2019-blog @lucifer-in-leather @p–trick @straightestgay-voice @professsionalsinner @deantheotherkingofkinks @50shadesofyes @lucis-unicorn @whispersandwhiskerburn @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell @colespriverdale @daddysxlittlexsunshine @atc74 @wonderange @mogaruke @aiaranradnay

Masterlist


Dean never understood the whole love/hate thing.

It never made sense to him.

Sure, he fought with Sam constantly. And there were times when he wanted to beat the crap out of John.

But he never once hated them. Or hated himself for loving them.

He just couldn’t understand how you could hate loving someone. It just sounded like a stupid concept to him.

But you…you made him realize just how painful love could be.

You made him hate to love you.

And there was no way he’d be escaping you. Because you practically owned Dean’s heart…even if you never treated it the way it should.

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anonymous asked:

tbh i hate Sam. He's too kind and loyal and always tries to do the right thing. And Dean, argh! What a beautiful, soft, caring, brave idiot. And Cas? OMG, don't even get me started on Cas! I couldn't hate anyone more for being the most courageous and dorky looser who would give up everything for the people he loves. Anyone who likes any of these three has something wrong with them tbh. But people who only hate 1? Come on my dudes, if you're gonna unstan 1, unstan them all.

haha yeah i hate them all. what a bunch of brave and caring assholes, how dare they!

Follow your Heart

Characters: Dean Winchester, Mary Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Y/N (Reader), John Winchester (mentioned), Bobby Singer (mentioned), Amara (briefly mentioned), Lisa Braeden (briefly mentioned), Ben Braeden (briefly mentioned), Cassie (briefly mentioned)

Pairing: Dean x reader

Warnings: Hunting injury (brief), Dean’s self-loathing, mention of character deaths (John and Bobby- as in canon), SPN feels (lots of canon used, with a small divergence to fit in my reader)

Wordcount: 6100ish (I swear I have no idea how this happened!!)

A/N: This is written for @i-like-your-assbutt’s Jason Manns “Covers with Friends” writing challenge. My prompt song was Simple Man - I drew inspiration from the lyrics more than I actually used them in the fic, but a line or two got stolen and squeezed in there.

Thanks to my sweet sassy sis Rach aka @mysupernaturalfics for helping me flush out the plot and to my Erin aka @blackthite7 for being the amazing beta that she is. Love you girls.

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

“CAAAAAAS!” Mary’s heart clenched as she heard the desperation and grief in her oldest son’s voice. She dropped the book she had been holding and rushed through the library to the war room, with Cas close behind her as he appeared from the hall.

She hated herself for being relieved that her son’s looked relatively unharmed. Dean had some cuts and bruises while  Sam had clearly taken a blow to the head, but they were fine. Y/N, on the other hand, didn’t seem fine.

Mary watched her son’s lower Y/N to the floor. Sam stepped away to give Cas room, but Dean didn’t move from her side. Even from a few feet away, Mary could see the tears in his eyes. Never in the short time she had known him had she seen her oldest like this. Like a small broken boy, and she wanted nothing more than to hold him. Sam placed a calming hand on her arm and gently shook his head when she looked up at him.

The distance between her and her first born in that moment were killing her, but Sam knew him better. Mary trusted her youngest to know what was best.

Dean didn’t take his eyes off of her. His hand gently pushed her hair out of her face, and he let it rest on her neck.

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What she says: I’m fine

What she means: Eggsy Unwin had to watch his mum get smacked around by Dean and get beaten himself and probably had to listen to his sexist racist homophobic etc remarks but he still turned a kind man who loved his mum and sister so much, didn’t try to be seen as hard man, was so loyal to his friends, couldn’t kill any animal and didn’t treat Roxy any different because she was a women, so basically Eggsy Unwin is a fucking angel and people don’t give him enough credit.

What Are You Doing To Me, Sweetheart? (Tenderness)

 A/N: Fluff. Just a little something.

Dean x Reader

Word Count: 892

Warnings: Fluff. Small mention of blood and pain. 

With Sam being out or commission due to an illness that left him bed ridden, it was up to Dean and you to take care of a simple salt and burn problem a few states over. You promised Sam you’d be back soon enough, and ordered him to relax, knowing that he would be in the library the whole time if you didn’t threaten him to stay put. Sam was the younger brother you always wanted – and when the Winchester brothers came crashing into your life, you were stuck. And with no desire to get out, a simple and fairly easy adjustment was made in all of your lives to work together, live together – take care of each other.

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Misunderstanding

Request by the lovely @emily-jane-girl-next-door-rp: Dean x reader where Dean likes the reader but thinks she likes Sam, so he tries to get them together, only to find out that she actually likes Dean (this wasn’t the exact wording, but you get the gist!)

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,374

Warnings: FLUFF, kissing, ever so tiny bit of angst in the beginning, kinda cheesy ending it’s so fluffy, 

A/N: this was my first time writing a Dean x reader request! I hope I did ok :-) ps I find this gif VERY fitting for this fic haha. ENJOY FAM.

Originally posted by wattpad

Dean had finally lost all hope of ever finding love.

Sure, after he had to say goodbye to Lisa he had vowed to stay single, always saying that love and a relationship just “wasn’t in the cards for him”. But that was before he met you.

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righteousdemondean  asked:

Dean Winchester

you mean this beautiful bean??

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life
hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang
hogwarts house: gryffindor (this is just a guess i actually have no idea??)| slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff
best quality: when he loves you, he’s fiercely loyal. to the point where he would?? literally die for people?? (especially sam, obvi). that boy has a whole lot of love to give and when he sticks by people he’s there for life
worst quality: on the other side of that loyal coin, when people he loves do something that he considers bad or not a good idea, he is quick to get really pissed and doesn’t want to hear their side of the story - i think that’s a result of dean’s EXTREMELY stubborn streak, too.
ship them with: cas, duhhhh
brotp them with: charlie tbh 
needs to stay away from: amara. blech.
misc. thoughts: dean winchester is my son and i would die for him 

send me a character! 

I’m really fed up with how underrated Dean Thomas is. When I talk about him and say how he is my favourite character from the series, too many people ask me who I’m talking about or say ‘Oh the black kid’ or ‘that kid who dated Ginny’. Why should he be defined by his skin colour or who he dated. He is worth so much more recognition than that. Why do I like Dean Thomas so much? Well here’s a little list of reasons: 1) He grew up not knowing his real father or his heritage and did not complain once. 2) When he filled in for Katie Bell in Quidditch he was damn good at it but did he get any recognition for it? A thank you maybe? No. What about when he was kicked off the team? He handled that way better than most people would. 3) When Ginny and Harry got together straight after Ginny and his break up, did he handle it bitterly? No. He was a decent guy about it despite the fact he was still probably upset about how things ended. 4) He never once treated Luna like a ‘freak’ or ‘weirdo’ as so many others did. He treated her like a person and was not taken back by her uniqueness, he embraced it. He was interested in her as a person and took time to get to know her. 5) He lived in the run for months during the war and did not ever discriminate against other magical beings and in fact travelled with Goblins- who at the time were very weary of wizard which shows just how trustworthy a person he is. 6) In fifth year he managed to stay loyal to Seamus and Dumbledore’s Army despite the fact that his best friend did not believe in the cause. And he was one of the first people to stand beside Harry and fight for what was right, he never once hesitated. So these are just a few of my reasons for loving Dean Thomas. Can you tell me now that he doesn’t deserve more recognition? That he isn’t a fantastic character deserving more?

anonymous asked:

Do you think Dean would make a good husband?

I have no doubt that Dean would be a great husband. He’s loyal. He’s passionate. He’s caring. He knows what it means to take care of the people he loves. He knows the sacrifices of responsibility and commitment.

We got a glimpse of Dean in a husband/father role while he was with Lisa and Ben. Lisa said it was the best year of her life, and that was during a time when Dean was pretty messed up.

The thing about Dean is that he appreciates little things. So I can imagine him doing all the little things that would make his wife happy. Because when she’s happy, he’s happy. Because that’s another thing about Dean… he lives to please. He lives to make other people happy.

Originally posted by frozen-delight

anonymous asked:

Hi! Can I get a ship for Supernatural and Avengers? Im a girl with reddish/brown hair and green eyes. I like to write and sing. I'm usually very reserved but open up after a while. I don't trust easy but I'm very loyal once I do. I like to have fun, I'm always down for a road-trip or any kind of adventure. I love my friends more than anything and I would do anything for the people I love. Oh male or female pairing, either is fine. Thank you!

Supernatural

Originally posted by winchesters-roasting-on-hellfire

bf/ gf - Charlie (You two love road-trips ranging from late night shopping to city touring.)

Originally posted by sooper-dee-dooper-natural

Best Friend - Dean Winchester (You two love to tease each other) you can’t tell me that you and Demon!dean wouldn't have a karaoke night.

Originally posted by castielamigos

Has a crush on you - Chuck/God (He has seen many different kinds of people but your loyalty has always fascinated him)

Avengers

Originally posted by avengers-of-mirkwood

Your bf/gf - Tony (With you, every day is a new adventure)

Originally posted by imagine-that-marvel

Your best friends - Wanda (You always had her back, and she had yours.)

Originally posted by yourlipbalm

Has a crush on you - Bucky (You had asked him to revise one of your stories and he fell in love with how you can bring characters to life)

anonymous asked:

why is everyone turning around castiel saying that to rowena as destiel hes talking about claire jfc

I’m assuming you’re referring to this post that I reblogged? I reblogged it because the shipper in me loves to soak in all the Destiel feels. But enough about me, let’s go back to this question/statement of yours.

Is Castiel referring to just Dean? No, I don’t think so. Is he talking about just Claire? No, I don’t think so either. He’s not talking about just one person. His point here is that every person at their core possesses the capacity for love:

  1. Crowley, the demon king with a man inside, could not allow Abaddon to kill his son, Gavin.
  2. Rowena, the powerful witch who could not love her own child, was moved by a family’s kindness and came to love Oskar.
  3. Dean, the man turned demon and back again and nearly overcome once more by the Mark, could not bring himself to kill Castiel or Sam.
  4. And Castiel, the wayward angel and loyal friend, who wouldn’t raise a hand to hurt Dean, even as he was pummeled bloody, and genuinely wanted to do penance for how his actions affected Claire’s life.

I believe one of the main themes this season has been love and its repercussions on the lives of people: how different would Crowley be if he’d been loved more as a child? His and Dean’s back stories are not so different, after all: Crowley weighed down by the mother who wouldn’t love him, Dean by the father who forced a little boy to be a soldier. What made the difference? Love. Love from his mother, his brother, Castiel, Bobby, and all the friends they’ve lost over the years.

Just because some bloggers wants to focus on one relationship doesn’t mean other relationships are invalidated. I actually loved seeing Cas deliver that “everyone loves something” line. Cas, the Angel of the Lord and soldier of Heaven, who came to love humanity.

A Bark With a Bow

@bittersamgirlclub‘s secret santa gift for @samsexualdeancurious! Or @thelittleredwhocould, since the other tag refuses to work. Anyway, I really, really hope you like this little fic! 

( AO3 )

The motel bed barely fits the two of them, but Sam doesn’t really mind. He’s curled up underneath his blanket - the extra they at least received with the room - and watching the search window on the laptop’s screen with Dean. He’s smiling absently, but it’s a good moment for them. The case is over, and while he’s somewhat bruised and his body aches from yesterday’s fight, he’s safe now, and Dean’s there with him just as safe, leaning to a pile of pillows both from the motel and the Impala. They carry spares around mostly for sleeping inside the car, but with first snow falling outside to mark the transformation of fall to winter, it just felt right to bring them all inside. Build a nest, so to speak, on the double they’ve barely more than napped in - that is, of course, until last night. And now in the morning, it all feels… serene. Comfortable.

Homely.

Sam yawns - he can’t stop it. While the browser refreshes, Dean eyes him examiningly before chuckling a little and smiling.

“Didn’t you get enough rest last night? You slept like ten hours,” he points out teasingly.

Sam elbows him on the arm.
“Shut up,” he chuckles.

A page appears on the screen.

“What did you want me here for, anyway?” he asks then.

Dean hesitates.
“I thought - maybe - Sam, look, it’s kinda complicated. I’ve never really had a talk like this with you, or anyone, ever, but it’s - I mean, I think, think we need to do this.”

Keep reading

Here’s to Dean Winchester. 

Here’s to the man who loves his little brother more than anything in this world.

Here’s to the man who stayed loyal to his father when all John did was giving Dean orders.

Here’s to the man who went to hell to save his brother.

Here’s to the man who said there is nothing past or present he would ever put in front of Sam.

Here’s to the man who stayed fighting, trying to save people he doesn’t know and moving from motel to motel and never had a real home.

Here’s to the man who never gave up on his brother even though his brother once chose a demon over him.

Here’s to the man who didn’t have a normal childhood.

Here’s to the man who felt guilty and felt like he’s poison but you know what? Even though he feels like crap, he will NEVER give up on you.

Here’s to the man who died as a hero and became his worst nightmare.

Here’s to the man who got the mark of Cain to kill Abaddon and Metatron to save this bloody world.

Here’s to the man who told Sammy “I’m proud of us” before he dies so he can comfort Sam.

Here’s to the man who got stabbed by Metatron and when Sam saw him and screamed “NO”, Dean told him that he needs to get out so he doesn’t die.

HERE’S TO DEAN FUCKING WINCHESTER.

I am so sick of people treating Demons like terrible monsters that needs to be completely exterminated. Grow the fuck up. Supernatural is not a black and white world. Not every Angel is good. Not every Demon is bad. What people don’t seem to realize is that Hell is incredibly militaristic/totalitarian and loyalty is of utmost importance. 

In seasons 1-5, Hell was led by Lucifer. Azazel, Alistair, Lilith, Meg, Ruby, all of the big bads, they all worked for Lucifer. Lucifer wrongfully blamed humanity for imprisoning him and wanted to punish them. And he did, by unleashing all kinds of shit onto them. Everything the majority of Demons did in those seasons was either to help free Lucifer, or to help unleash Lucifer’s wrath upon the world. Considering the fact that Lucifer is basically their god, it’s pretty understandable that they would follow him. Hell under Lucifer’s rule was pretty fucking terrible, because Lucifer is a terrible fucking Angel.

After that, Crowley took over. Hell mainly dealt in crossroads deals. Why? Because Crowley is a crossroads Demon. That’s his thing. So when he took over, he created Hell after his own image. When the crossroads Demon Guy was cheating his clients out of their 10 years, Crowley considered it to be bad for business. He stated that he was going to make an example out of him, presumably killing him. Crowley understands that in a business, both sides need to keep their end of the bargain or else nothing would get done. He understands that because he’s a businessmen. So under his leadership, Hell became a business.

Throughout Supernatural, Hell and its Demons was always an extension of the person who was leading it. They often used lethal force to enforce their own set of rules and commandments. As seen by Guy, if you aren’t loyal, you die. If you don’t follow orders, you die. Demons aren’t just bad because they’re Demons. They’re usually bad because their leader is bad, and they want to avoid dieing. That’s pretty understandable. Also, every Demon (with the exception of Dean), became a Demon because of thousands of years of torture. That can make for a very unstable personality. I’m not excusing the sadistic shit they do, but you don’t kill people who are mentally ill, you rehabilitate them. Which is proven to be quite possible. Meg was a Demon and she did some pretty terrible stuff. But most people seem to forget that when she pledged herself to the Winchester’s cause, she was extremely loyal. She gave her life for the Winchesters to escape, and it can be argued that she genuinely cared for Cas. Crowley obviously loves his son. He spared him from death.

Demons do have the capacity to be human, just as much as Angels do. It’s just that Demons have been subjected to thousands of years of torture and incredibly oppressive and totalitarian regimes, so it’s understandable that they find it very hard to be optimistic and kind.

So is it so fucking bad that Dean is a Demon? Think about it. Dean didn’t become a Demon through torture. His sanity is intact. Not only that, Dean has the Mark of Cain and the First Blade. He’s not just a Demon, he’s the most powerful Demon. He doesn’t answer to anyone in hell because no Demon is capable of killing him. With Dean making the rules and the half-human Crowley handling the business end, Hell has the capacity to be a pretty nice fucking place.

anonymous asked:

When I first started SPN, I was a Sam girl, then a Dean girl, and when Cas appeared I became a Cas girl, and now I don't know what to do! They're all so lovely and handsome and gorgeous!

I feel this so hardcore. These three beautiful, broken characters. How can anyone pick a favorite?

I mean, there’s Sam. Sweet, innocent Sam who gets addicted to demon blood, loses everyone he loves, but still manages to believe in the good in people, even monsters. He’s intelligent and persistent, no matter what he faces.

And Dean, the little boy forced to grow up too fast, who thinks he’s nothing but a soldier to be thrown away. He’s fiercely loyal, brave, pessimistic with a large chunk of denial mixed in, and will tear the world apart for the people he loves. He’s desperate for love and touch, but doesn’t think he deserves it and fears putting others in danger, so he imposes an isolation on himself short of one night stands.

Then there’s Cas. He’s the warrior angel with too much heart, that Heaven accuses of being broken, simply because he’s the most human of them all. He’s dangerously clever, naive, and desperately wants to fix anyone and anything he can. Cas is lost, somewhere between human and angel, struggling to find where he belongs.

My babies. I just want to wrap them up in blankets and mother them until all the pain goes away. Of course, we’ve seen what happens to their mother figures, so it’s probably not in my best interests.

let it out and let it in (ao3)

mary and cas have a nice chat. inspired by recent promos and interviews saying the two will be close. ~800 words

Castiel is surprised by Mary Winchester.  She’s not at all what he expected. To be fair, he never really expected to meet her. He really never expected to be sitting at the bunker’s kitchen table with her.

Dean had told Cas about her of course, but only the distant memories of a four-year old.  And what four-year-old didn’t idolize their mother?  Yes, she was kind and nurturing, as he had told him, especially to her boys, but she was also fierce and lethal.  She loved deeply, but you had to earn that loyalty—very similar to another hunter Castiel knew.

Mary reminds Cas a lot of Dean actually.  She’s loyal and willing to risk everything to help others, especially family.  There’s a deep underlying hope inside her that all this is worth it in the end.  But there’s also a sadness there.  Hunting isn’t what she wanted, never has been, but she feels the pressure to help people. If she won’t, who will?  The weight of the job are almost too much, but she’s good at it. Which frightens her sometimes. It strange, Cas thinks, seeing these traits he has noticed in Dean for years reflected in his mother. From their source, he supposes. 

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The Dean I love

Dean x Reader

One shot

request: (sorry my mail is acting up a little so I can’t pull up exact words)

Dean doesn’t want the reader to be a hunter or with him feeling that he will eventually get her killed so he cheats on her to try to force her away, but during the hunt she does something that makes he realizes what a mistake he made and how lucky he is to have her.



A shiver crept across your skin as you rolled onto your side, feeling the cold empty space next to you. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you pushed yourself up looking around the room. Dean was gone again, he always had issues sleeping, but more so lately than normal. Grabbing your sweater from the chair and wrapping it around yourself as you headed down the hall ,towards the library where the glow of the lights sent shadows down the hall. You had gotten used to waking up without Dean next to you, but lately something was different. He slept much less than normal, and drank a little more and when he did sleep it was restless.

Dean could hear the patter of your feet against the marble floor as you came down the hall. He placed his glass on the table when your arms wrapped around his shoulders from behind, resting your chin on his shoulder.

“Hey there warrior.”

You whispered kissing his cheek as he reached up with his free hand gently  stroking your arm.

“Hey.”

He managed before taking another sip from his glass.

“I missed you.  Was it another nightmare?”

You let your arms drop, brining your hands back to his shoulders rubbing them softly.

“Yeah something like that.”

You sighed, he was giving you short answers, and being indirect. Walking over to the table you grabbed yourself a glass before returning to back to sit next to Dean reaching for the bottle of bourbon. Only to have your hand caught by Deans, turning towards you slightly.

“Hey. You don’t have to stay up with me.”

He let his thumb run over your knuckles softly, looking at you, but not really making eye contact. The circles under his eyes were dark, and the tiredness wearing bright as day on his face. You placed your hand over his.

“Dean I don’t mind.”

He shook his head no at your words letting a small chuckle leave his lips.

“just because one of us can’t sleep doesn’t mean the other shouldn’t.”

You stared long and hard at him for a few moments, debating wither to push the issue or not. In the past you hadn’t had much luck pushing the topic.

“Only if you promise you will come back to bed soon? We have a long day tomorrow.”

He just nodded, and it made your heart sink at little, as you leaned forward giving him a soft kiss. The scent of bourbon stronger than usual.

Standing from your seat and letting your hands slide out of his and heading towards the hall before stopping to look back at his slumped over form.

“Dean.”

He looked over his shoulder at you.

“I love you.”

You said before turning away and making your way down the hall, not waiting for a response, knowing you probably wouldn’t get one at this point.

Dean never came back to bed, in fact you never even saw him until you and Sam went out to the impala. You saw the look that Sam gave you when he noticed it to and you didn’t know how to react besides dropping your head and slide into the back opening the journal in your lap and not looking up at Dean as he started car and  took off down the road.

~~~~

“What if its Vetalas? it would make sense, small groups of people disappearing along certain routes on the road. The pattern follows route 66, and I think that they should be hitting here soon. It is the next town on the map.”

You circled the town with the sharpie  and looked up at Sam who was nodding in agreement with your conclusion, Dean avoiding eye contact still.

“Alright sounds good. Hey I am going to make a supply run, you and Sam make a plan of attack.”

He stood grabbing his jacket moving to slide it on.

“Wait. Hold on. You don’t want to help plan? Sense when?”

He shrugged.
“You’re a big boy Sammy. You can give me a down low on the plan when I get back.”

Without another word Dean slipped out of the hotel room. Sam looked at the door, before back to you. Confusion heavy on his brow.

“What’s with him?”

He asked as you sighed dropping your face into your hands.

“I don’t know, he has been acting really strange lately and-”

You just sighed in deep frustration.

~~~~~

You and Sam spent the next several hours planning everything out. Sam had gotten a call earlier from the police station when a young man went missing, which help us narrow the search area to a certain corner of town. Sam thought that it was maybe two or three of Vetala considering how many people they were abducting. You both narrowed down the area to the abandoned saw mill. It was the most logical location. Right off the highway with easy access but shrouded by trees. Now you and Sam were stuck waiting. It had been three hours sense Dean had left. He wasn’t answering his phone, or his back up, or his other backup for either you or Sam. You and Sam had gone through the plan five times planning every detail while waiting for Dean to come back.

You sighed twirling your knife in your hand again for the hundredth time.

“Maybe he ’s  in danger? what if he’s been caught?”

Sam said fidgeting with his shirt again. With a deep sigh you stood putting your knife back into your side.

“Ok we split up, you take half the town I will take the other. In thirty minutes if we don’t find anything then we meet up at saw mill.”

Sam nodded grabbing his gun and cell phone following you out the door.

The thought that Dean might be in danger freaked you out. Your heart pounded so hard  as you ran up the street, the sun was starting to set and you had to raise your hand to block the sun as you scanned the parking lots of the nearby businesses. After several long minutes of panicked running your feet stopped dead in their tracks when your eyes fell upon the impala, parked neatly in-between a jeep and bug. walking up to the Impala nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Looking up at the building the sign overhead reading ’ Bill’s Tavern".  Your feet took off again, grabbing the fake FBI  badge out of your pocket as you nearly ran somebody over when the door flung open, giving them a quick apology before side stepping them and heading straight for the bartender when your eyes didn’t find Dean upon your first glance. Flashing your badge the Bar tender walked down to your end.

“what can I help you with agent?”

He asked as he whipped the inside of the glass he had been holding.

“I am looking for this man.”

You pulled up your phone finding the first picture of Dean you had. He studied it for a moment before nodding his head.

“yeah he’s here. Check the back left corner. He was with some blonde last time the waitress took their order.”

You froze, only for a split second.

Dean was with some blonde? why?

“Thank you sir.”

You pushed off the bar and through the sea of people towards the back. After shoving past one last giant in a cow boy hat you saw him. He was sitting in a corner table, a beer in his hand, several empty bottle in front of him and his other arm around some blonde wearing what looked like a bandana for a top. She had her hand below the table out of eye sight and they were laughing at something she had whispered into his ear. A moment later they stood, the blonde standing on her tiptoes placing a sloppy kiss on Dean as he made an effort to dig his wallet out of his pocket to pay the tab. After tossing a few bills on the table they headed for the back door. It was like switch flipped on, all worry and panic left you, replaced by rage. That rage made it seem almost effortless to push your way through the people and out  towards the back. catching up to them just as they got to the back door, Dean pushed the door open staggering out first the girl was a second behind him and you were able to grab her arm yanking her back in flashing your badge at her.

“This is not a date you want to finish.”

You had to fight to the urge to yank the fake blonde hair from her head. After a moment of confusion she pulled away from your grip and stumbled back towards the front of the bar giving you an evil glare.

“Hey, what’s taking so long?”

You could hear Dean shouting from the Alley, and you shoved the back door open the rest of the way causing Dean to turn around and stop seeing you coming out instead of his date. Though he didn’t seem surprised, that was what bothered you the most.

“What the hell Dean!”

You yelled as the door fell shut behind you, watching as he looked everywhere but directly at you. You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks as you clinched your fist refusing to let yourself cry.

“Sam and I have been calling you for hours! You couldn’t answer any of your phones? Or were you to busy with the blonde? What is the matter with you?!”

You found yourself striding towards him as your voice got louder, but your chest felt tighter.

“What if something had happened to me, or wait I apparently don’t matter that much to you sense your here with some bar slut, but what about Sam? Hmm? Your brother? You could’ve at least answered the phone for him for christ’s sake!”

You felt your wall crack and the first ear started to dance dangerously on the edge of your eye lid. You took a giant step forward shoving Dean against the wall, your left arm pinning him there as you grabbed the silver knife from your pocket.

“What are you doing y/n?”

He asked as you pulled his sleeve up and quickly grazed his arm with the blade, waiting and hoping for some kind of reaction but only getting a small winch of pain.

“It’s me. The real deal.”

You let a jagged breath escape past your lips ad you took a step back.

“No its not. The Dean Winchester that I fell in love with wouldn’t be slumming around in some bar while his girlfriend and brother are out hunting! The Dean I fell in love with was loyal to a T and wouldn’t ever betray the people he loved. The Dean-”

You felt your throat tighten as you fought back a sob.

“The Dean you love is a fake, y/n! I am a wreck. Sam and I have been lost so much that we aren’t even fully human any more.  All the pain and the suffering, and the only way I know how to deal with that is by drinking away my problems and killing monsters.  I tried to pretend like I wasn’t, thinking maybe if I could fool you I could fool myself, but I am not boyfriend material, or anything else for that matter. I am poison y/n.”

He snapped at you when he noticed the break in your voice. It was as if time had stopped for a minute and your brain just refused to work, to process what he was telling you. Dean was playing house with you, or as close to how as you could get in this lifestyle. That was it just pretending, and you had never felt your heart be obliterated into so many pieces before. His eyes still wouldn’t make direct contact with you, just look vaguely in your direction. None of this made any sense, last month you two were fine. Dean was ecstatic that you had moved into the bunker and that your solo days of hunting by yourself were over . Now it was just pretend? You reached into your pocket fishing out your keys, and struggling for a moment before pulling the spare key to the impala off  and throwing it at dean, watching it hit his chest before bouncing off and landing on the ground at his feet.

“Fine. You want me gone I am gone.”

That was all you could muster to say before turning and walking away from him.

~~~~~

“You did what?”

Sam’s mouth fell open when he heard where Dean had been and what he had been up too.

“You cheated on y/n? Dean you love her.”

Dean slumped into the chair looking over the various notes of attack and such that you and Sam and scribbled onto the map.

“It’s over Sam. She’s better off without me anyways. So what is the plan of attack?”

He tried to change the subject but Sam was quick to bring it right back up. He flipped the map close and leaned over the table staring at him. Dean tried to give a blank expression but Sam knew his brother all to well.

“You did it on purpose didn’t you?”

Dean sighed looking away as he stood moving towards his duffle bag.

“You pushed her away? why?”

Sam demanded moving to the other side of the bed watching Deans face for the smallest hint of remorse but dean kept his head down and eyes averted.

“People around us die, Ellen, Jo, bobby, and I almost lost Li-”

Dean stopped letting out a deep frustrated sigh, clinching his fists as he moved to pace the room.

“You can’t compare y/n to them.”

Sam didn’t Dare speak Lisa or Bens name remembering the threat Dean had made to him if he ever did.

“Y/n is strong , smart, can handle herself and she loves you. y/n scarified a lot to be with you and now you just chased her off to god knows where.”

Sam tried to make Dean see reason but it would be easier to talk to a moose then get through Deans thick skull.

“She has a better chance on her own then with me.”

Dean ended the conversation with that.

~~~~~

A horrible high pitched ringing in your ears pulled you from the darkness slamming you into the real world. The smell of pine filled your nostrils, like a overly strong air freshener. The last thing you remembered was throwing the key at Dean and walking away, everything after that was fuzzy. The air was musty, and stale, and you could feel the sweat starting to drip down your back. The light was Dim, only a few windows up in the rafters letting in a few stray rays of light illuminating rusty abandoned equipment , and patches of empty floor. Looking to your right you recginized the boy from the missing police report that had been sent to you earlier that morning. Three separate bite marks spread across his limp body. Judging from his unnatural slumping he was more than likely dead.

“Oh good. She’s awake.”

Your head turned to the left trying to find the source of the voice, but only managed to make yourself dizzy.

“Oh don’t move around to fast my dear. You might make yourself pass out.”

Pulling at your arms was useless, they were tied to the  beam you were sitting against and your feet were also tied together in front of you. You couldn’t tell by the empty feeling of your pockets and waist band that all of your weapons had been taken.

“Show yourself.”

A figure stepped forward into one of the beams of light. She looked familiar, and it took you a moment to realize it was the blonde from the bar. The same blonde that had been all over Dean.

“You ruined my date.”

Her tone was flat as she walked across the floor, her heals clicking against the wood with each stride. Stopping right next to you she leaned down running a finger along your jaw. Shivers crept across your skin at her touch and you pulled your head away from her reach feeling your neck protests with its soreness.

“So I figured I deserved a little something special for dessert considering you ruined my day.”

Another voice came from behind the blonde in front of you.

“Emily ”

A male stepped forward, and for a moment his silhouette resembled that of Deans, until he stepped into the light. He was the same height as Dean, but had long black hair like Sam’s slick back. Wearing a button down shirt and dress pants.

“A bit over dresses for a warehouse aren’t we?”

Emily back handed you almost as soon as the words left your mouth. Your cheek flared from where her hand has met your skin.

“I don’t like smart asses.”

She stood walking over to the male, wrapping her arms around his neck and you looked away not needing to see the fireworks. You started moving your arms up and down against the beam, hoping you could wear out the ropes that had your hands.

“That is disgusting, can you two please get a room?”

A third voice from the raptures echoed against the walls, but you couldn’t make out where it was coming from.

“Shut up jake!”

Emily yelled back before turning to look at you again.

“What if I just have a small snack while we wait? ”

shit

You tried rubbing harder on the ropes but you were nowhere near close to getting them loose. The guy leaned down to her ear and whispered something causing her to giggle before pushing off of him and striding to your side grabbing a fist full of hair causing you to winch in pain.

“I will send you to hell.”

You growled through clenched teeth as she yanked your head to the side exposing the scabbed over bite marks from earlier.

“Highly unlikely.”

She smirked as her million of little teeth sliding down and you looked away. Feeling her teeth skin into your skin like a thousand needles then the poison burning its way through your veins before darkness took you again.

~~~~~~

You could hear murmurs a little ways off, but  in your groggy state that wasn’t what you were focused on. Every ounce of strength and focus was put into rubbing the ropes behind you against the beam. You could feel them loosening  ever so slightly and  a little spark of hope gave you a small boost in energy. After a moment your hands were free and you went to work on your feet. The three were over by the saw, their view of you slightly obstructed. Finally getting your legs free, you crawled over to the boy checking his neck for a pulse but to find nothing like you suspected. You used the beam for support and you pulled yourself up searching for a weapon of any sort. Your eyes fall onto a piece of pipe, but before you can even move in that direction the sound of shattering glass caused you to freeze. You could hear something rolling and you instantly what it was. Sam was following your plan by sending in a flash bang grenade to disorient the Vetalas, but they didn’t know you were in here.

“oh shit.”

you mumbled and moved your hands to your ears trying to soften the blow , but it didn’t do much. It was like a wave of air pushed you to the ground. All hearing was lost, just ringing and disorientation. The room spinning as you grabbed at the floor trying to crawl forward towards the table that kept shifting left and right. Gun fire echoed through the building, but it sounded so far away, followed by the sound of yelling. Using the table to stable yourself you stood grabbing a piece of rusted scrap metal which was the first thing your hand landed on and stumbled your way towards the direction you had last seen the trio. You saw someone run by out of the corner of your eye and you turned, but they were gone now. Tightening your grip on the piece of metal and you turned heading back towards the saw. The ringing in your ears slowly starting to fade to the normal ringing but your balance was still a little unstable and you found yourself stumbling every few steps. You stopped dead in your tracks as Dean skidded to a stop in front of you. Surprise, shock and confusion flashed across his face in rapped secession.

“Y/n?”

He lowered the blood covered knife in his hand and took a step towards you. All the anger you had boiling in you when you had last seen him vanished at the sight of the worry in his eyes as he reached his hand towards you.

Your attention was stolen by quick movement behind Dean and you reacted without thinking and grabbed Deans shirt shoving him to the side quickly taking part of the blow from the 2x4 that Emily had swung, slamming into your left shoulder. A strange pop reverberated from your shoulder followed by hot fire streaking across your shoulder  and down your arm as you  fell back onto the ground. Dean growled and you looked up just in time to see him run at Emily thrusting the knife at her chest. She was quick dodging out of his ay using her arm to redirect his movement and pulling him forward into one of the beams. Deans chest collided with the wood knocking the air out of him momentarily.

“Dean!”

You shouted seeing Emily grab the collar of his jacket and yanking him backwards, sending him skidding across the floor at least twenty feet away until he hit a pile of stack wood with a thud. You scrambled to push yourself up, but pain shot through your left arm with any movement or weight placed on it. Gritting your teeth you pushed yourself up with your right arm, grabbing the piece of rusty metal you had been holding earlier and turned toward Emily.

She was watching you struggle with pleasure. Her hand resting on her hip as she smirked her teeth dropping down once more.

“Awww you look just like a wounded puppy.”

She turned away from your heading towards Dean who was still gasping for breath trying to push himself up.

“Stay away from him.”

You growled stridding forward slashing at her with the piece of metal. He tried to duck, but you still managed to slice her across the cheek. Shock and anger registered n her face as she turned to you.

“You little bitch, now you die.”

She reached forward grabbing your left arm jerking it. A scream ripped its self through your throat and into the building. Tears pooling in your eyes as the fire sestation craweled painfully up and down your arm.

“oh it looks like I might have dislocated your shoulder with that blow. Sucks to be you.”

Yanking your forward her teeth sank into your neck again. Tears started to stream down your cheeks from the radiating pain in your shoulder as the prick of her many teeth into your skin and the poison starting to seep into your body. In a last ditch effort your gripping the piece of metal as hard as you could and swung you arm up stabbing her in the neck. She instantly let go, your legs falling out from beneath you. Her hand flung up to her neck before she froze. Her face twisted oddly before her body started to wither and collapse in on its self. Revealing Dean standing behind her, his knife once lodged in her chest now resting in his hand covered in her blood. He rushed to your side.
“Y/n?? Look at me? How many times did you get bitten?”

He asked moving to pull your shirt collar down but you raised your hand stopping him.

“Only twice.”

you lied, feeling slightly dizzy and having a hard time breathing.

“You need to find Sam. There are three of them Dean.”

He looked at you, several emotions flashing across his face in succession.

“Dean go find Sam now!”

You ordered at him. He nodded quickly fishing out another blade from his boot and giving it to you.

“Y/n I will come back for you. I promise.”

He whispered, and you could see regret forming in his eyes as he studied you.

“You better, I still need to kick your ass.”

A small smirk curved at the corner of his lips as he leaned forward kissing your forehead softly before making sure you had a tight grip on the knife and standing sprinting through the warehouse towards the sounds of fighting across the way. Suddenly you saw two running Deans instead of one. The room started tilting and you felt yourself falling.

~~~~~~

“Damn it!”

Deans angry voice floated to your ears.

“She lied to me. She was bitten three times not two.”

The roar of the impalas enginge filtered in through the background. You felt yourself shifted and gasped as pain shot through your arm again.

“Y/n? Can you hear me?”

Forcing your eyes to open you could see Dean looking down at you. Worry weighing heavily on his brow. You looked around realizing you were in the back of the Impala.

“Who can’t hear you?”

You mumbled through the pain.

“We are on the way to the hospital.”

Sam called from the drivers seat, and you felt the panic strike your heart.

“N-no hospitals, you know the rules. There’s no way to explain this that won’t get the cops involved.”

Deans stern voice drew your eyes back to him.

“No we are taking you to the hospital .”

you glared up at him.

“No you’re not Dean. You will take me back to the hotel. Sam turn the Damn car around now.”

~~~~~~~

“you ready?”

Sam asked, as he placed one hand behind your shoulder the other on your arm.

“If you’re going to do the count thing that doesn’t- SHIT!”

You cursed as Sam suddenly popped your arm back into its socket.

“God damn it.”

you growled clenching the comforter on the bed, as your vision blurred from your watery eyes. You tried to concentrate on your breathing to distract from the pain. It was Silent for a long time. Dean had left to get come more medical supplies, leaving just you and Sam in the room.

“You know he didn’t it out of fear.”

Sam finally broke the silence, causing you to look up at him. Feeling all your anger and sorrow pooling in your chest again at the mention of what Dean had done.

“He’s tried so hard to protect the one’s he loves. Most of them have died and He sacrificed a life with Lisa and Ben to protect them. He gets to a point in all his relations ships romantic or not that he feels that he will be that persons down fall. So he tries to push them away. He’s done it to me several times.”

You exhaled not realizing that you had been holding your breath.

“You have to fight him on it y/n. It’s your choice not his, you just got to make him see it.”

Sam gave you a soft smile before standing and going to the freezer grabbing a dish rag and filling it with ice cubes. He was careful to wrap it up nice and tight before gently placing it on your shoulder causing you to winch, but the cold was a welcome relief to burning pain.

“I have a question.”

Sam said, watching you waiting patiently for your ok. You gave him a small nodd.

“ok shoot.”

You said trying to sit back on the edge of the bed better but only managing to cause yourself more pain.

“You know that the third bite from a Vetala is fatal. Why would you lie to Dean about that? Was it because you were angry at him?”

Sam sat forward waiting intently for your response as you took a deep breath.

“Because if Dean stayed to take care of me and you died he wouldn’t be able to survive that. He would be a wreck if he lost me but we both know that if Dean lost you again that he wouldn’t survive that.”

Realization slid across Sam’s face as he reached forward giving your hand a small squeeze before jumping back at the sound of the door slamming shut. You both looked up to see Dean dropping two bags onto the kitchen table. Sam stood stretching, walking over to Dean giving him a pat on the shoulder.

“Hey I am going on a food run, I got her shoulder back in place i think you can handle the rest.”

Dean nodded tossing Sam the keys to the Impala.

“Don’t forget the pie.”

He called after Sam as the door closed. Dean rummaged through the back pulling  out rubbing alcohol and bandages.

“Do you want to try taking your shirt off or just want me to cut it off?”

You looked down at the blood stained shirt and sighed. It was one of your favorite ones which would now be ruined.

“Just cut it off.”

Dean grabbed a chair dragging it over to the bed with the couple supplies he needed. He got to work quickly, cutting your shirt off, cleaning the blood off and disinfecting the bite marks, before bandaging you up. Neither of you spoke through the process until he stood going to his bag and grabbing a button up shirt for you.

“here.”

He said and you gave him a small nod.

“Thanks.”

He helped you pull it over your left arm, before moving back to the table and grabbing an arm sling out of one of the bags.

“Is what you said true?”

He asked as he tried to wrestle the sling out of the packaging.

“What?”

you asked not following his question.

“You told Sam that you lied to me so that I would go and make sure he was safe. That I wouldn’t survive losing him over you.”

You chewed on your lip for a long moment before nodding.

“Yeah, I did. We both know it’s true Dean. I know that you care about me and you would be devastated if I died, but you and Sam have this bond that is so strong and you need each other to survive.”

Dean stopped fumbling with the packaging and looked up at you. You held your breath waiting for him to say how stupid it was for you to risk your life and tell you how wrong it was, but to your surprise he leaned forward placing a soft kiss on your forehead.

“y/n, I don’t deserve  you..”

You glared up at him, about to argue but he was quick to stop you.

“ But it’s true, I don’t deserve you, but that doesn’t give me the right to push you way like I did. I am a jack ass y/n, and I know it, but I want to try to make it up to you.”

He reached forward cautiously taking your hand in his. You gave him a small smile.

“Don’t think that fancy speech of yours gets you off the hook that easily.”

A smirk crossed deans lips as he let a small laugh escape looking back up at you.

                                                “I didn’t think it would.”

You laced your fingers through his and the realization that everything would be ok washed over you.