dean! have you been shooting dope into your scrotum

Signs as Dr. Venture quotes
  • Aries: Well. I want a second opinion. Oh wait, I'm a doctor! I can give myself one! You suck, and I'm leaving
  • Taurus: I'm going to turn around now and you'd better be on fire. You're standing there in flames and the only person who can put you out is me! Because that is the only conceivable reason that you would wake me up like this!
  • Gemini: Oh come on! You're going to kill me because I had fake sex on graph paper with a girl who barely spoke to you in real life?!
  • Cancer: Screw the boys! I wanna stay here with my new family and their "feel good candy"! 
  • Leo: Crap, who am I kidding, my looks are going down the toilet faster than an unwanted pregnancy on prom night
  • Virgo: Fine! I don't like your dimension anyway. It's an /asshole/ dimension, how do you like that?
  • Libra: You put me in a bag and knocked me out to bring me 50 yards?!
  • Scorpio: So you see, by applying the basic principles of the scientific method to the matter, we learn very quickly that the myth of the chupacabra is just that - utter crap. Now, if you apply the same principles to Catholicism, an interesting thing occurs...
  • Sagittarius: Officer? There's a man in a butterfly suit shooting my robot with a laser beam.
  • Capricorn: Uh, no, it's fairly common for some men to lactate involuntarily in situations of extreme stress
  • Aquarius: Dean! Have you been injecting dope into your scrotum?! I'm your father, you can tell me anything!
  • Pisces: Long story short, I pissed in god's eye... And he blinked.